ONE:

A STRANGE BROADCAST

FRY

My name is Phillip J. Fry. The year is 3000 and I was born in nineteen- seventy- something. How do you explain that? I'm a delivery boy. That should put things into perspective for you.

Back when life was simple, dull, and easier to understand, (especially for my poor brain, which everyone says is smaller than a rabbit's turd) I used to take out pizza orders for this fat man who used to make me deliver pizzas to people with the stupidest names like Seymour Asses or I. C. Wiener. In fact, I was in Mr. Wiener's residence whenever I got frozen into the future if that tells you anything.

Don't ask me how. Hell, I'm still trying to figure out why I'm here now, reclining in a sofa with a drunken, foul-mouthed robot named Bender. Let me tell you a little something about him before we move on.

Despite the fact that Bender swears a lot and loves to hurt people's feelings more than anything, he's one of my best friends and the first one I've ever made here in the 'world of tomorrow'. He's got me through a lot of tough times but he worries me a lot…

"Hey, Fry, why don't you turn this crap to something less crappy," Bender is saying while my eyes are focused on some old super hero cartoon, "Something like…depressing news headlines!"

See? He's always been like that and he's laughing mechanically as I switch moodily through the channels.

Not long after, I found the news which, to tell you the truth, I've always got a kick out of myself. The woman on there, Linda, never seemed to notice that Morbo, her alien co-host, was always trying to take over the world.

"Looks like where in for some pretty unusual weather, fellow earthlings," Linda is saying whenever I turned it over there. You could tell that she had just been laughing at one of the alien's jokes because her face was flushed and her eyes were watery.

"Yeah, and by unusual she means that it's going to be raining cats and dogs for the rest of the week!" Morbo roared, showing us some footage of this whacky weather that was already taking place in different parts of the world. "That's right, this means that the furry little bastards are going to be splattering all over you and your windshield, BWAHAHA –"

Unnerved, I switched it off. Rising up from the couch I shouted, "Bender, we've got to tell Leela and the others! This could be something big and…KABLOOMIE!"

As I finished this last sentence I made explosive sound effects and whooshing noises as I waved my arms about wildly.

"And what makes you think that there're going to believe us chumps?" Bender glared at me. I stared at him right back, running my fingers through my hair, which was ginger and stuck out everywhere, in deep thought.

Sure, it was no secret that Bender and I had acted like a couple of clowns for our entire, pathetic lives but so what? If the world was about to face some sort of abnormal disaster didn't everyone else have the right to know?

"Exactly," Bender said after a few minutes had passed and I still hadn't found an answer.

Sighing, I lowered my arms and began to head out the door, which slid open for me as I took my first step toward it. Bender could bite me. I was telling this to everyone whether he liked it or not.

FARNSWORTH

I knew something disastrous had happened the moment that my uncle stepped into the conference room, (in which a circular, poop-green table stood) wearing a puzzled look on his stupid face.

"What's up, Fry?" Leela asked. I looked at her across the table, where she sat in between Amy Wong and Hermes Conrad, two other members of my crew. Like me, Leela had noticed something wasn't right with Fry, reminding me again why I had chosen her to be our captain: occasionally, she always thought along the same lines as me.

"The news!" Fry cried, beginning to pace around the table. "Me and Bender where just watching it and-"

Leela snorted, "Since when have you watched the news?" she raised her one eye up at him doubtfully.

Fry's reaction was priceless. He got up in Leela's face and shouted, "When will you stop treating me like I'm a brainless dimwit?! I mean, not that I am, but you can still be stupid and watch the news and I did! I watched it with Bender, and he saw it to!"

"Saw what?" Amy asked, blinking her slanted, Chinese eyes at him so that he stumbled over his next words.

"The weather. T-there giving some pretty f-f-furry showers for the rest of the week."

"What do you mean by furry, mon?" Hermes asked.

I groaned. Just what Fry needed: more encouragement from a fast-talking Jamaican bureaucrat.

"I mean, call me what you want but I know what I saw!" Fry was smiling now. "And it's going to be raining cats and dogs this week, guys!"

I moaned. Leela put her face in her hands. Hermes and Amy laughed while Zoidberg made that weird noise of his and Nibbler, who had been curled up contentedly in Leela's lap until now, gave an excited yelp.

It had finally happened. The world had finally gone to hell, and I'm sure that the Robot Devil is laughing his head off, the rusty bastard.

BENDER

I was in a nice drunken stupor when something big and annoying hit the window and disturbed me from my moment of serenity.

"W-hat was that? Fry, did you finally kick the bucket?" I muttered, shooting my head up and looking about the room frenetically. It took me several seconds for me to pinpoint the noise but when I did, I sprung from that couch like a pop-up out of one of those sissy books for kids, and swore loudly.

The others heard me and came running. Fry looked excited while the others looked annoyed whenever they saw me standing there, my big cylinder eyes popping all the way out from under my visor in order to see the dogs and cats falling from the sky at a wickedly-fast rate.

"My god, it looks as if Fry was right!" the Professor exclaimed. I wanted to punch that old geezer's wrinkly, horrible face in. Of course Fry was right.

"Sorry Fry, for doubting you," Leela apologized, unable to take her hideous eye off the freakish scene outside. I tried to roll my eyes when Fry shot her a foolish grin, but they fell out halfway through the movement and I had to actually bend down and pick them up. Wow, that was so hard for me. Sheesh.