A/N: okay so I have had a bit of a writer block which I think had finally passed and with that passing I have attempted to get my writing back in swing with this Oneshot based on the song "What Hurts the Most" performed by Cascada. I will be updating "The start of something new" soon, school finishes for the term in a week so except major updates and the finish of "the start of something new" and maybe the start of a new story over the next 4/5 weeks at which I have off –well I only have 3 off but the first week is a fun week called ABW week – Australian Business Week so basically it is a bludge. Please review and let me know what you think.
--
What Hurts the Most
I
can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother
me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm
not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with
you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I
pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me
Gabriella sat still on her bed, staring out of her balcony doors watching the heavy rain pour down numbing her body from the hurt that was pouring through her body heavy and fast like the rain, hitting her body hard and painfully. It had been 2 months – 2 months since the day, the day she didn't get to say goodbye to him, the day she didn't get to say 'I love you' one more time. Everyday she hurts and cries herself to sleep not talking to anyone but herself.
What
hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And
watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And
not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
Two months ago he left for UCLA, 2 months ago she watched him walk away, walked towards that gate at the airport without her knowing because the day before he broke it off, he didn't think they would survive and wanted to break it off on good terms, before he left her.
"I love you" Gabriella whispered, not concentrating on the work sitting next to her. Gabriella dreamt everyday of what could have been, what could have been their future – dates, marriage, little Bolton's running around their own home. These are the images that are only ever going to be in her dreams – she knew she could never love any other person like she loves Troy Bolton. Her Love, Her Heart and Her Life.
It's
hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But i'm
doin it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends
and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with
this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade,
give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken
Her first 2 months of collage had been disastrous. She couldn't concentrate and she was behind in all her assignments, but she didn't show it – the only two people who knew she was in pain were her best friend Taylor and her mother.
When ever Chad, Zeke and Jason come home from UCLA for the weekend once a month they all went out together – everyone has a good time except for Gabriella, of course Troy doesn't come home or if he does he claims he has to help his dad, however she knows it's so that he doesn't see her. She is happy with that – she doesn't know what she would do if she had to see him. She knows that if she could turn back time she would of taken no for an answer and said everything he meant to her – how much she needs him to live. Gabriella knew that Chad had told Taylor Troy was miserable and had played the worst basketball ever – She just wanted to hold him and tell him it would all be okay, but she knew she couldn't do that.
What
hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And
watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And
not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
"GABRIELLA MONTEZ, OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!"
She ignored the knocking that was coming from her door – she knew Taylor had just met up with Chad and knew she had come to brag how good it was to him again. She didn't want to hear it.
"GABRIELLA, I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS NOT CONCERNING CHAD AND I"
She couldn't take it anymore; she stood up and made her way to her door opening it to reveal a very angry Taylor Mckessie.
"What do you want Taylor?"
"I just found out that Troy is on his final leg before being kicked off the team and out of collage!" Taylor exclaimed, watching as Gabriella's face paled quickly, watching as she ran pass her into her bathroom closing the door with a slam.
Taylor made her way to the door and heard Gabriella throwing up. Once she knew she had finished Taylor opened the door and rushed to Gabriella's side when she saw her doubled over on the floor tears pouring down her face.
"I--I can't do--it--anymore, I miss him so much" Taylor held and rocked a fragile Gabriella as she cried. She looked up to Taylor watching as her eyes had a look of concern.
"It's--my--fault he's getting kicked out--if it wasn't for me he wouldn't be in that position" Gabriella cried out as she broke like she has never broken before.
"Gabs, it's not your fault, he broke it off with you – I know that you can't live without each other and that your grades are falling but it's not your fault" Taylor spoke pushing the hair away from Gabriella's face.
"Yes it is!" Gabriella cried out, watching as Taylor helped her to her feet and walked her to her room, getting her in to bed. Taylor sat by her bed until she fell asleep at which she made her way downstairs to talk to Gabriella's mum and call her boyfriend trying to find a way into comforting both Gabriella and Troy.
I'm
not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with
you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I
pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me
She heard a knock at her door, she wasn't in the mood to talk to Taylor or her mother, she wanted to be left alone to curl up and cry, letting all her emotion run from her body.
"Go away Taylor!" She yelled not hearing the door open and close.
"I'm not Taylor" She knew that voice, she hadn't heard it in 2 months, and her body was paralysed at the sound.
She didn't answer; she just broke down in sobs falling from the edge of her bed onto her knees. All of a sudden she felt arms pick her up and carry her to her bed, where they sat her down and wrapped their warm strong and gentle arms around her, the right hand rubbing up and down her back.
Once her body regained some strength she pulled away and looked up into blazing blue eyes, piercing her with a look of worry and concern, but also had a clear glaze over them – his hurt evident to her.
"--Why--a—are you here?"
"Chad told me you weren't well" He looked at her with concern.
"..um -- I'm fine--really I am" Gabriella whispered, closing her eyes, letting the silent tears falling wishing that his hand would touch her cheek and wipe the tears and her pain away.
What
hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And
watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And
not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
Troy didn't know what to say, he knew he had cause all of the pained she was feeling – he should have known they would have been able to work it out. Watching the hurt in her eyes and her body - what Chad had told him was true, she was a wreck and it was my entire fault. At the same time they looked up and stared intently until they both spoke.
"I'm sorry"
"No, Troy it's my fault you wouldn't be getting kicked off the team if it wasn't for me" Gabriella spoke her voice chocking.
"No, Gabi it's mine look at you you're a wreck and it's all my fault and you know, getting kicked off the team is probably a good thing. Getting kicked off would mean I would be back in Albuquerque and back with you."
"Troy, I can't let you get kicked off the team, going to UCLA is your dream, don't let me ruin it" She breathed slowly, not wanting to show how much it meant to her that he would leave UCLA for her.
"No, you not being mine and not being able to hold and talk to you is what ruined it – you're the one who always believed I could do anything. I should of known we would have been able to do this together and get through the distance, but I was scared to hurt you" Troy said, looking into the hurt and love in her eyes.
"You know, for the past 2 months all I have thought about is what could have been – for the past 2 months I have only dreamed about the future – getting married, buying a house together and having our own little Bolton's. That's what I dream about every night and to tell you the truth you hurt me bad, real bad Troy, I had lost all I have ever loved – nothing seemed right anymore." Gabriella had just told him her darkest wishes that she only told herself, she needed him to know what he had done and how much pain he had inflicted on him.
"To tell you the truth, I have only dreamed of the same thing – as soon as I left you that day I regretted every decision, but thought you would never see me again – I will always love you" Troy said it with all the compassion, trust and love you could imagine.
"I watched you walk through the airport gate that day, I couldn't not see you walk away to start your new life" Gabriella sighed lowering her head.
"I saw you, I watched you from afar, I didn't want to walk away, and I wanted to walk right up to you" Gabriella lifted her chin and stared into his deep blue eyes.
"I love you Troy Bolton and always will"
What
hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And
watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And
not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
"I love you too" Troy whispered, watching her eyes light up, he smiled to himself but then dropped it and watched as she gave him a 'what's wrong' look.
"I'm scared of leaving you alone, I'm scared of hurting you again" Troy said softly but also full of concern watching as her head and smiled dropped biting on the corner of her lip. He placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head to meet her eyes.
"You will hurt me by not fulfilling you're dream – as long as we know were together and will support each other through anything; even through the hurt of being apart. We will always make it up when we see each other again – I don't to let you go" Gabriella said it with the passion and love showed to Troy wanting just to be with him again. When Troy didn't say anything she stood up and headed towards the door but was stopped when he spoke.
"Gabi!"
Gabriella stopped and turned around and found herself left staring at these dark blue eyes. She tried to read them but was cut short when she felt his gentle delicate lips on hers. She automatically moved her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, feeling his hands move to her waist pulling her closer. When the need for air came around they pulled apart and stared into each other eyes watching intently as their emotions changed. Troy pulled away and carried her back to her bed where he laid her down and hovered over her brushing her hair away and caressing her cheek gently.
"I will go back and play – I'll play for you but I will never ever say goodbye to you again – never, it hurt me too much" He whispered it while rubbing his thumb over her cheek caressing her gentle skin.
"I will definitely be your own personal cheer squad – I will never say goodbye to you either – I love you so so much" Troy pecked her lips and saw her smile.
"Gabi I love you too" Troy watched as she pushed his hair back and left her fingers playing with his hair. Their was comfortable silence until Troy came up with the confidence to ask her the question he had wanted to ask her since they broke up those long 2 months ago.
"Gabi--um--will you be my girlfriend?" Troy looked down with his hands suddenly becoming interesting.
"Troy of course I will!" Gabriella answered sincerely running her hand across his jaw line. She suddenly found his lips on hers their tongue caressing each other. Gabriella pulled away and stared in to his eyes until he spoke.
"I love you Gabriella Montez" Troy whispered in he ear, watching as her body shivered with his breath.
"Show me" was her only answer as they made up on the 2 months they has spent apart.
Who knew that love could hurt so much.
--
I don't think this is my best work but hey tell me what you think
Xxx mill