Right i have wrote 3 one shots and all of them suck ... I am still trying to write the next chapter of He's Back. I have no problem with chapter 23 it's 22 that is going to be the death of me lol.
So ... This is kind of a sorry and a little thing to keep you guys going until i have produced my best work for He's Back.
I haven't been inspired so much lately but OMG i heard a song when i was channel hopping and it jumped me lol ... Just i heard his voice ... and i melted then heard the lyrics and just nearly died! I jumped on youtube listened to all of his songs and then found this one ... INSPIRATION HITS!
Jay Brannan - Your Body's A Temple ... Just the lyrics scream stories and he is the only artist i have ever heard to have the balls to sing about another guy in his life or what he wants from life. He is gay and isn't scared to show it and i just find that incredible. So he owns all the lyrics i guess :) (Although in this Jeff "writes" the song Jay still owns)
Vince owns the guys ho i use and they own their own sexual tendency's ... It's all fake :P
"Grrrrrr ... Why are all the good ones taken? Like the ones who stand up for what they believe in ... They are either taken or gay" lmao :P
Only jokin' :) hope you like x Much Luv x
ON WITH THE MADDNESS
"Fuck Chris! Harder"
"Babe I'm going as hard as i can it hurts at times you know" I love his cute little laugh.
"I don't give a fuck please I'm so close"
Suddenly he gets so serious and he understands what this means. I love to be this way with him, we close out the rest of the world. This is our space and i love it. We have so many spaces i guess. My house ... Not my room though if i let him in there that means he can stay and i know he can't. Any other place in the house is okay though. Other spaces that are ours are hotel rooms, hundreds of them. Back alleys ... Not the cleanest but it's the feeling of been so spontaneous and just living for that daring moment, same as the pool incident i guess. Sometimes it's hard not to.
After i feel Chris push into me again and again i feel that tingly feeling in my stomach and i can't hold on.
"CHRIS!!" I can hear my name been screamed too. I feel him tense against my body and feel him pulse over and over again.
Perfect body, perfect smile
your touch renders me servile, i love the
the way you speak to me, so sweet yet obscene
the way you smell of chlorine.
My knees give way and i fall to the clean side of the bed. I can feel my heart racing and beating through my ears and i can still see them little black dots after trying to regain myself from such an intense feeling. He falls with me and kisses the back of my hot sweaty neck. I feel more shivers run down my spine as his soft lips touch my skin. No matter where his skin touches mine ... I just feel numb.
I love his hands on my hips its like his hands fit them, his hand feel like its been molded to my cheek when he flicks my hair back out of my eyes so he can see them and cradles my face while still keeping up with our pace. His crystal blue eyes pierce my green ones, it makes it hotter his eyes glaring at me. His hand seems to fit mine when we just lie together and want to feel the other next to us.
I'm addicted, and you'd agree
i crave you endlessly
i feel useful on my knees
and i take comfort at your feet
After a minute or so you pull out and i wimper i love feeling you inside me ... I feel complete.
"Don't whine, you know i will be inside you again soon babe"
"Yeah but not soon enough"
"Go clean up and i will clean up here"
Wow the room really is a mess laps knocked over, bed messy and covered in ... us.
"Okay"
I feel my heart racing still after all this time. He comes up to me and looks at me. He smirks and lets out a closed mouthed laugh. Puts his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. It's so simple and it's just a easy feeling not painfully slow ... Not painfully erotic or passionate ... Just simple and a great feeling to have.
"Go get clean"
"Yes master"
"See if you said that like 30 minutes back you would of been through to next door by now"
I laugh and tell him to shut up and just go to the bathroom. After cleaning myself up ... All i can do is stare in the mirror.
Why do i do this to myself. I'm stupid, i do it all the time think that we are in the moment together and i get to be held and just wake up to his amazing eyes. When the truth is i get to be fucked held and when it gets to late he goes back to his room or even his hotel and then i get to lay there and the only feel of him i have is an aching back and the smell of us on the sheets.
Jeff for fuck sake stop thinking about it!
You know it's never going to change ... Your just the other guy ... You always will be. I always do this i just sit and stare and cry. Then come out smile my heart out and he come over hugs me and we talk until he has to go. I don't understand why i still have fucking hope. It's become like breathing to me, i just know it happens i know whats coming and if it doesn't then i will suffocate. Why do i still have hope?
It silly. I should know by now he will never stay. I just wish he would, i just want him to hold me all all night against his amazing body.
They say your body's a temple, well, boy were they right
this feels so simple, i could kiss you all night
and i could spend forever in the palm of your hand
but when the clock strikes twelve, oh, you'll go home to another man
Seriously everyone says they would love to be able to have a time with Chris ... They know he has a body like no other and the rumors are true about him been good in bed. Sometimes when he passes both girls and guys start to have a little conversation between themselves about how hot he is. I remember the conversation between the girls and me.
"OH MY GOD! How hot is Chris i would do anything to get with him." Said Micky James.
"I know even for me he is drop dead gorgeous, what do you think Jeff?" Replied and questions Maria.
"Mmmm?"
"Jesus boy get your head out the clouds, i said what do you think of Chris?"
"I don't know never really noticed him that much, like the way you guys do"
"Bullshit! Your a guy! He swings that way and so do you! You can not tell me you have never thought of Chris in positions unknown"
"Nope never ..."
"Weird weird boy" she laughed
I smile and giggle with her, i look back over at Chris when he comes over and he heads for us.
"So what are you guys laughing at? ... ME?" The hot one himself said with a pout.
"Yeah duh ... We were just saying how hot you were" Micky laughed.
"Awww even you Jeffy?"
I look at him and he has that smirk on his face knowing he has me cornered.
"Get real am to good for you" I replied back with a smirk to even it out.
"Yeah what ever am to good for you really"
"Yeah yeah what ever rockstar get on with it"
We all continue to talk and laugh. While the girls chat to each other on some topic Chris looks over at me and smiles. I know what he's thinking .. He's thinking what i am. If only they knew they would scream down the place. I don't have to think about Chris in "positions unknown"
... I feel them ... I know them ... I have had them every week for the last year now.
I shouldn't of let it happen for this long ...but I can't stop he feels way to good. I am wrapped round his little finger.
In my mind you found a fortress
one I'm happy to provide
no need to ask, just receive
believe it's yours to take what thrills you inside
I'm always here for him. It annoys me that i can't say no. It's like i tell myself you have to stop he is just going to hurt you ... And it's true ... It's all going to end up in tears but i know it makes you happy so i guess i just do it.
I love to see him smile, all my troubles go. He smiles
I smile
It's difficult sometimes to smile, them are the times i don't look at him.
When we are having sex, we normally have this connection we stare at each other when we can have eye contact. His eyes are glued to mine and we don't break it ... It just makes the feeling a lot more intense. But when i do feel down, or not like smiling i hide my head either at the side looking for something else to glue my eyes to or i hide on his chest.
Anything to get him not to see my eyes.
They say your body's a temple, well, boy were they right
this feels so simple, i could kiss you all night
and i could spend forever in the palm of your hand
but when the clock strikes twelve, oh, you'll go home to another man
I just wish he was gone. Then there would be me and him.
(BANG.BANG)
"What?"
"Babe you have been in there for so long, come on i want to see you"
Well if it makes him happy i guess. I look into the mirror and wipe my face down.
Okay ... Now big smiles Jeff.
I walk out of the bathroom and I'm greeted by a fully clothed god and he pull my hand and me towards the bed. He pulls me down and kisses me. His kisses become a lot more passionate. Then his soft hands wander under my wife beater vest. I kiss him back and he flips me over his body fully covering mine but all of his weight on his arms. He looks at me and kisses me again. Putting all of his weight now on his knees he leans forward and kisses my neck down to my collar bone. I let out a small moan and i feel his hands wander again. He goes for my lose belt buckle then button.
"Babe..."
"I know ... If we start now we aint' never gona' stop" He laughed.
"No matter how much i like this ... You know how much like this, you know you will be late.
"You get me like this though"
"Then I'm doing my job then" I giggle.
"Yeah damn rites you are ... Too fuckin' good of a job"
I stick my tongue out and he kisses me once more and gets off of me.
"Babe what time is it?"
This is the part i dread when he gets out his phone and he looks at the time, or he looks at the wall clock or the tv. the worst way he does it is if he asks me ... I want to scream saying it's only early ... stay ... But i bite the bullet and tell him the truth.
"It's around half twelve"
"Okay then, i gotta' go ... But i will see you tomorrow and then mabey we can spend some time together then maybe chill before the show and stuff"
"Yeah cool no problem, sounds awesome" I have done this a million times, repetition is a great way to learn. I have learnt not to look him in the eyes for to long or i will break down and i have now worked out how to stop my voice from shaking.
"Okay cool, well I'll see you babe" He kisses me one more time ... So simple.
Then so simply walks out the door.
They say your body's a temple, well, boy were they right
this feels so simple, i could kiss you all night
and i could spend forever in the palm of your hand
but when the clock strikes twelve, oh, you'll go home to another man
I hold onto the door slightly and then wait, it's like a realization that he is gone.
I go back into the room after shutting the door and head back to my bed, not before grabbing my guitar. I always have it on the road with me. It's an awesome outlet it gets my anger out and just gives me time to look at everything.
I think of my moment in time. Perfect songs come to mind as i warm up. I loosen up my fingers and pull out a plec. I rub my hands down the metal strings and the wooden body. It's like a baby to me, always well looked after. I tune it up and crack my knuckles. I move my legs so they are crossed and I'm sitting on the bed, then move the acoustic so it fits comfortably to my body. It's another art form, i love how good it feels to have my guitar in my hands it's another tool to me. A tool that can make so much magic.
After half and hour of playing random songs and random parts of songs i finally think of the one hardest to sing.
I finger the chords with my left fingers and strum slowly to the tune i created. Twelve seconds into the song i can sing the lyrics i wrote a while back, still they make full sense to me now.
"Perfect body, perfect smile your touch renders me servile, i love the ... the way you speak to me, so sweet yet obscene the way you smell of chlorine."
I slowly keep the strumming and plucking going while stopping from the lyrics for a short breath.
"I'm addicted, and you'd agree i crave you endlessly i feel useful on my knees and i take comfort at your feet"
slowly i carry on through the slight glitch in my voice ... The song always makes me so emotional.
"They say your body's a temple, well, boy were they right this feels so simple, i could kiss you all night and i could spend forever in the palm of your hand but when the clock strikes twelve, oh, you'll go home to another man"
I hear a movement in front of me and look up getting a shock
"Didn't your daddy ever teach you to lock doors?"
"Wha? ... Chris? ... What? ... What are you doing here? ... Did you forget something?"
"Yeah"
"What then?"
"You"
"Again ... What?"
"I don't wanna go"
"Yeah but you have to"
"No i don't"
"But what about him"
"I want to be here with you"
"Since when ... Chris you always leave"
"And i always don't want to!"
"How long have you been here?"
"Long enough"
He walks over to me and pulls the guitar from my hands. I look up at him confused. He brushes the hair out of my eyes and holds the side of my face, i feel his hand mold to my face. He places the guitar on the floor and leans over and kisses me.
"So am i welcome to stay?"
I smile ... This is why i still had hope ... 'Cos i still had hope in him.
"Nope" I say with a smirk.
"What?!" A cocky look comes from his beauty filled face.
"I said nope"
"Then how can i change that decision?"
"Show me you want to stay"
He then kicks off his shoes and takes of his t-shirt. My god that make me want him. Next he takes of his belt and he is left in his jeans
Then he climbs onto the bed and rest his head on a pillow and drags me down so i can lie on his chest.
"This is what i want"
I look up and kiss him, he kisses me back and pulls himself up deepening the kiss. He pulls my wife beater vest over my head and throws it on the floor. He goes back to kissing me and pulling away other items of clothing. Wow sex that is after 1am ... Round two.
...
I wake up and feel a body pressed against me kissing my neck ever so lightly. He looks at me and our eyes meet. I feel this weird pain lift from me and i feel happy.
"Morning babe"
"Morning"
He bends down and kisses me, not so soft not so over powering ... Just ... I guess ... Simple
OMG! me loved writing this because i love the song the lyrics melt me!! ... Erm ... So this guys is a kinda me loves yous and just hold on tight if anyone reads He's Back this is to show am still working but having some trouble lol ... so please please please READ AND REVIEW!! They make me the happiest person in the world!!
X much luv X
READ AND REVIEW!!1