More Than Useless

by xxxNightshadow

She didn't think she was of any use. He thought she was. So what happens when they finally agree on something? Hiei One-shot

I feel like, I would like, To be somewhere else doing something that matters, And I'll admit here, while I sit here, My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

As you sat in the back of the classroom, your cherry pink eyes were sharply focused on the view outside. The window gave a sight of a street that lead to the parking lot of the private school that you attended. On the far side of the street were newly bloomed trees. But that wasn't had caught your eye. A black blur had flashed along the tree branches.

When you had first seen it, you thought that your eye had been playing tricks on you. But after the second time, you knew it wasn't an illusion. Your pink eyes swept past all the trees looking over everything, until a ruler slammed onto your desk. "Ms. Mayumi Kimura," your teacher said with pursed lips, "perhaps you'd be kind enough to tell us Japan started a feudal system." A heavy blush colored your pale cheeks as you stood to answer.

Snickers and giggles rang out in the room as your classmates watched you. Quickly stammering out an answer, you sat down and your long, black hair covered your eyes. You could feel their stares on you, and you mentally cursed yourself for attracting attention. You preferred not to be noticed, as you were very shy and timid. The others took your quietness as a sign that something was wrong with you. People could tell you didn't have any friends.

Racing up to the stairs that lead to the roof, you closed the door behind you. A warm breeze ruffled your hair as you leaned against one of the walls. It was your getaway from the cliques and crowds that joined together during lunch. You opened your small lunch of riceballs and began to eat, hoping you could figure out what those black blurs were.

~*~

"Welcome t-to the Moon Cafe. H-how can I help you?" Your soft voice asked. A boy with a cheap Elvis looking hair was about to scream his order when a girl with brown hair whacked him over the head. "Be polite! We're in public Yusuke!" Sitting across from them, a boy with poofy orange hair burst out laughing. "Yea Urameshi, listen to Keiko." Next to the orange-head was a boy with long, flaming red hair and forest green eyes. He gave you an apologetic smile and said he would like some green tea.

This caused the others to stop bickering and give their own orders. Bowing slightly, you said, "Your orders will be here shortly." Walking in the kitchen, you began working on their orders. When you brought it back, you quickly severed them and walked back into the kitchen. You didn't exactly like working in the food service, but you need the money and this was the only thing you could find at the time.

You were often clumsy and would trip over things, which caused you to almost get fired multiple times. Sometimes you felt like you were just living a useless life.

While you were in the middle of serving another group of people, that boy Yusuke and his friends left, leaving their money on the table. You went and cleaned up and it was finally the end of your shift. You hung up the apron that was part of the uniform and left the small caf. As you walked of the place, you realized it was only around 5:00 and the sun was only just starting to set. Sighing and not wanting to go home to an empty house so early, you took a detour and walked around the dense forest that was near your home.

You walked around the familiar path that you had created in your own mind. You knew this forest like the back of your hand. It was one thing that you felt proud of. Your fingers brushed along the new petals of the flowers and leaves, and your sandaled feet barely made a sound on the soft undergrowth. Another warm wind gently pulled at your school uniform. You gave a deep sigh that made your heart tremble.

Despite the fact that everything was fresh with life, and hoping new beginnings, you couldn't bring yourself to do the same. Your parents had died in a horrible accident. Or so the police claimed. Ha. You knew better than that. You knew some freakish demon thing had killed them. And that was because you had seen right in front of your very eyes.

What's the purpose? It feels worthless, So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit, and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

As your fingers touched another flower, you remembered the screams of your mother, who was begging for you to run away, and the shouts of your father who was fighting the dammed beast. Jerking your fingers away from the flowers as if they jolted you, you took a step back. If you didn't have the urge to run a hand through your hair, you wouldn't have looked at your hand. Your heart stopped for a split second and your blood ran cold. Your eyes widened in shock as you stared at your hands.

Your fingers were laced with blood.

Gasping, you looked down at the flower you were touching. Specks of blood covered the yellow petals. Looking around, you saw trail of blood. Fear begged you to run, but your curiosity forced your feet to follow the trail. Running, you followed the bloody trail and vaguely realized you were in the heart of the dense forest. The blood trail soon ended. Your eyes flashed around until you found a black clothed, body fallen by a tree.

Gently but cautiously, you walked towards the body. A pool of blood had formed around the body and it freaked you out. Flashes of the night your parents died burned your eyes. Not wanting to have the same thing to happen again, you carefully moved the body in an upright to an upright position. Slashes and deep cuts scared his body. He had spiky, black hair with a white starburst. His eyes were tightly shut with pain and a katana lay fixed in his right hand. You carefully placed your hands on his wounds and willed your healing power to your hands. A soft, pink light emitted from your slim fingers. The wounds slowly closed, and blood stopped flowing from them. Sighing with relief, you gently lifted the boy's body and slung his arm around your shoulder.

It was quite awkward in a way because the boy was about 3 inches taller than you. As you quickly walked away, you realized that the boy's aura was very different. It wasn't...human. But you had felt a similar aura like the one that surrounded the boy's. It was like the demon that had killed your parents 3 years ago. Fear gripped your heart once you realized that. But you couldn't just leave him out to die like this. So, being the kind and caring person you were, you swallowed the lump in your throat and walked home.

Gently placing a cold, wet towel to the boy's forehead, you sighed. You had laid the boy in the couch in your small home, and cleaned up the blood that surrounded the body. You had been really hesitant about doing that though. Your personality went totally against it, but you could afford your couch being blood soaked. You went into the kitchen and got a glass of water. You were thinking about cooking something warm, when a sudden hacking cough tore you of the kitchen.

You quickly bent down to his eye level as he sat up coughing. You slowly poured the water into the boy's mouth, but with a sudden push of his arm, he pushed the glass away. The water splashed out of the rim, as he growled, "Get away from me." His blood red eyes glared so fiercely, that you were sure he could see right into your very soul. The red and black aura around him flared up and its pressure alone weighed down on you. Fear seized your heart as your brain yelled at you for saving the demon.

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all, And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all, But then you assure me, I'm a little more than useless, And when I think that I can't do this, You promise me that I'll get through this, And do something right, Do something right for once

With narrowed eyes he shoved you aside, and you fell back on your butt and stammered an apology. The boy stood up after the coughing was done and it was then you noticed he had gotten hold on his katana. Gulping, as you eyed it despairingly, you stammered, "Y-you shou-shouldn't move. Y-your wou-wounds are still-" A blade was pressed against your neck as the boy hissed, "Don't tell me what to do onna." His ruby eyes bore into your pink ones. Your breath hitched up in your heart as you stared, drowning in his angry gaze.

The blade pushed against your throat as you said shakily, "I-I-" the door burst open with a loud bang. "Hiei! We've come to- Hey! You're not a demon!" a voice shouted.

Your head and the boy's head turned to look at the door. Your eyes widened as you recognized the people from the Moon Cafe. Only the girl with brown hair was replaced with a girl with bright blue hair pulled back into a high ponytail. Yusuke? Wasn't that his name?

Him, the boy with the red hair, the boy with the orange hair, and the girl stared at you and the boy. "Hey shrimp, what the hell are you doing?" the boy with the orange hair asked. You weren't one to judge, but it sounded like stupidity was dripping from his every word. Hiei grunted and pulled the sword from your neck. The breath you had been holding in, escaped you, as you stood on weak knees. The boy with the red hair stepped forward and asked, "What's going on Hiei?"

His eyes cut into the boy clad in black. "I don't remember much, but I remember the demon I was fighting morphed into an B-rank demon. Then I blacked out. When I woke up, I saw her pouring something into my mouth." At the word 'her' he pointed the point of his katana at you.

You eyes were filled with fear and confusion, and your body trembled. This guy was doing a wonderful of scaring the crap out of you. "I-It was water." You stammered.

The girl with the blue hair frowned the boy named Hiei and walked over to you. You took a step back as she reached out to touch you. "It's okay. Hiei's just a grouch that he lost a fight. Don't be scared, were the good guys!" She finished with a cheerful smile.

You almost burst into a hysterical laughter. Good guys?! This Hiei wanted to tear your guts out! "I'm Boton." The blue-nett continued to speak. Pointing to the boy with the red hair she said, "That's Kurama, the doofus with the orange hair is Kuwabara and the one with the black hair is Yusuke."

"Who ya calling a doofus?!" the one known as Kuwabara yelled. Boton scoffed and said, "You." Kuwabara pulled his sleeve up and took a threaten step forward, but Kurama blocked him with a wave his hand.

"I-I'm Mayumi Kimura." You said, your voice softer than a whisper. Yusuke looked like a light bulb went off. "Hey! You're that girl that was serving us at the cafe!" You nodded your head as it dawned on the others. Glancing at Hiei, you let out a mental sigh that he looked like he calmed down.

"Well Mayumi it's a pleasure to meet you." Kurama said, sweeping in a graceful bow. You felt obliged to do the same. Hiei just scoffed and started to walk away when he fell down in pain, some of his small wounds opened. You didn't know your body had moved on its own accord until your fingers were glowing with the pink light.

Hiei and the others watched with wide eyes as the cuts closed before them. After you were done, you realized that your fingers were touching his bare chest. A blush graced your cheeks and neck as you pushed yourself away from him. "S-sorry." You said. "Whoa...how'd ya do that?" Yusuke asked. You twirled your fingers together and looked on the ground.

"I don't know. I've always had the power to heal." You waited for them to call you a freak and run away. You waited for them to call you a monster and go and tell everyone else. Just like all those years ago...but they never did. Instead, Kurama said, "We're taking her to Master Genkai's."

So I say if I can't, do something significant, I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted, And nothing trivial, that life could give me will, Measure up to what might have replaced it

So the next day, you were in front of Master Genkai, stammering, "It's a-a plea-pleasure to me-meet you Mas-master Genkai," to the short, pink-haired women's intense gaze. To your relief, she smirked. "Not bad. We just need to work on the shyness." It was true. As the others argued on what to do with you, you hadn't said one word. Maybe it was cause you realized all their auras were messed up.

Boton's lack of one freaked you out until she explained the whole grim reaper thing. Genkai looked over at Yusuke and Kuwabara. "You should learn something from her." Yusuke gave a wave of his hand. "Aw shut it you old hag." Genkai glared at him and said, "Follow me." So you did.

You glanced around the beautiful place and it dawned on you that you were walking next to Hiei. His expression hadn't glanced your way once. And the tension between you killed in you a painful, gut-wrenching, horrible, suspense-

"What are you blabbering about onna?" Hiei's sharp voice cut your thoughts.

"Ah-um-a-I-just...wait! How did you know what I was thinking?" you asked, surprised by the firmness in your voice. Hiei just gave you a glance and smirked. The smirk caused your heart to flutter into frenzy. "It's called telepathy." He said with a slight smug smirk. "You're te-telepathic?!" you asked shocked.

Hiei was just about to answer when Boton gently bumped her fist on his head. "Stop showing off Hiei." The black clothed demon let out a growl. "Touch me again, I'll rip your vocal cords out." Your eyes widened and you flinched.

Boton let out an unsteady laugh and quickly ran next to Genkai. You all appeared before a door and Genkai tapped it open. It revealed a kitchen. There was a large table in the middle and the others sat down like they had done this about a thousand times.

Genkai turned to you said, "What other powers do you have other than healing?" You said, "Nothing else-but I can sense people's auras." Genkai nodded as if she's in deep thought and said, "Your half demon." Hiei said flatly.

To their surprise, you let out a sigh. Not a scream. "Well I'm not surprised. It's from my mom." They gave you a look of surprise. You sighed as if this was finally off your chest. You sat down at one of chairs and said, "Wh-when I was little, I could s-see people's a-auras but didn't know what they were. My mom had a different one than everyone else's and I-I noticed that mine was a little different t-too."

"So where are your parent's now?" Kurama asked in his gentle tone. You shook your head sadly. "They were killed by a demon three years ago. That's when I was ex-exposed to a demon aura. An-and after they were killed I saw that my mom's aura was like the one the demons had." You pink eyes burned with tears. They wanted to spill out but you forced them back. You didn't want to look more weak then you did. Boton let out a squeak and got up from her chair.

Boton walked over to you and gave you a hug. "Don't worry, they're in a good place." You looked at her, your pink eyes sparkling with tears. "R-really?" you sobbed. Boton nodded and the door opened again. A girl with red eyes and blue hair walked in carrying a tray filled with a drink. She was wearing a light kimono and she had a startled look as she walked in.

"Oh. I didn't realize everyone was back already. Gomen." She said in a soft voice. There was flash in the corner of your eye, and the next thing you know, Kuwabara was next to the girl, with hearts for eyes. "Oh my beloved Yukina! How good to see you!" So the girl's name was Yukina.

Yukina blushed and said, "It's nice to see you too, Kuwabara." She placed the tray on the counter and her ruby eyes fell on you. She smiled and bowed. "Nice to meet you. Im Yukina."

Stumbling, you got up and said, "I-I'm Mayumi" Looking over at her, you noticed that her eyes looked familiar. But that can't be, you just met her! Then you noticed her aura. It was demonic but it too seemed familiar...you raised an eyebrow and glanced at Hiei. It was almost the same! Only Yukina's aura seemed much gentler then Hiei's.

Could they be related? Just as you were about to speak, a cold voice cut through your mind.

Don't even think about it onna. Hiei's voice rang through your mind. You closed your mouth and sat back down.

Why don't you wa-want her t-to know? You thought timidly.

It's none of your business.

You gave a slight nod. G-gomen H-iei

And for some reason, Hiei want to take it back. He didn't have to say it so coldly, he just did. He didn't know what it was, but felt calm around you. It was the kind of the feeling he had when he was Yukina. But Yukina was his is sister, and the feeling he had around you was much stronger.

Too late look, my date book, Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone, And I bet, that regret, Will prove to get me to improve in the long run, And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all, And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all, But then you assure me

Master Genkai kindly let you stay the night, and Yukina let you borrow a yutaka. It was really pretty with dark red flowers in a black background.

Rather than being able to sleep, you tossed and turned, kept awake by nightmares. Knowing it would be pointless to sleep in bed, you got up and slightly walked out of your room. Wondering around until you found the back of the temple; you walked outside in a beautiful garden. Apparently it was spring in the Reikai, because everything looked simply wonderful in the night.

Bu then you heard the sound of metal clashing together. You followed the sound until you came upon Hiei who was out. He looked out of breath and was holding his katana. What was odd was that he was wearing a blindfold. So of course, he was training. You watched him for a few minutes, but your eyes grew droopy.

You turned to walk back to your room, but accidentally stepped on a twig. Before you could even blink, a cold, steel blade was placed to your neck.

"Hiei-it-it's me." You squeaked. Hiei instantly pulled the short sword from your neck. "What are you doing out here onna?" he said pulling his blindfold off. Nervously, you said "I-I couldn't sl-sleep so I came to get some air. I-I didn't mean to bother y-you."

Hiei just let out a "Hn." And began to walk away. You stood there, not quite sure if you were to follow. You got your answer not a second later. "Well don't just stand there."

Your lips tugged into a smile and your heart pounded as you ran to catch up to him. A shiver ran down your back as you noticed that the temperature dropped. Glancing at Hiei, you noticed that he looked perfectly fine. Not wanting him to hate you even more, you didn't say anything as another shiver ran down your back. You tired to suck it up, but failed miserably. "If you're cold, you can just say it." You almost jumped out of your skin. "I don't w-want to-"

He didn't let you finish as he dropped his cloak over you. You felt so much warmer and the cloak smelled so good. So good.

"Gomen Hiei. I didn't mean to cause you trouble." How you were not able to stutter was far beyond your concern. For a second you thought that Hiei ignored you, but he spoke up. Softly, but he spoke. "It's not causing trouble." You looked up at him and gave a small smile. So he didn't hate you. The thought alone warmed you from head to toe.

Im a little more than useless, And I never knew I knew this, Was gonna the day, gonna be the day, That I would do something right, Do something right for once. I notice, I know this, Week is a symbol of how I use my time, Resent it, I spent it, Convincing myself the world's doing just fine, Without me

For the next few days, you stayed with Team Urameshi. They explained everything about the 3 different worlds and the how demons sometimes sneak into the Nigenkai. You got closer to the gang over the time, especially Hiei, whom you realized was actually pretty calm. He didn't seem to mind your bashfulness, and you had gotten used to Yusuke and Kuwabara's constant fighting. For once in your life you felt that you had friends.

And it wasn't only you who felt that way. The others felt that you were the perfect for their little group. Your loving, and kind attitude helped them out. In fact, they had a mission to fulfill and they offered to take you. Kurama promised that no one would leave your side and that it was only a short amount of time that they would be there. Glancing quickly at Hiei, you finally said yes.

And so, through the portal you went, appearing in a world where the sky was blood air, and the stars twinkled black. Clinging close to Hiei, (who would never admit in a thousand years that he liked it) your eyes drew in the feeling of murder in the air. You shivered though it wasn't cold, and Hiei glanced over at you. "What's wrong with you onna?" You flinched and met his gaze. "T-this place feels like murder."

Hiei shook his head and said, "Welcome to the Makai. My home." You turned to him in surprise. And for some reason, Hiei couldn't stop himself from thinking that you looked so cute like that. "Y-you live here?" He shook his head. "I used to. Now I'm stuck with these idiots." He looked over a fighting Yusuke and Kuwabara. Not wanting to miss anything, your eyes looked around warily. Then your foot caught something. Giving a little squeak, you threw your hands out in front on you, waiting to hit the ground.

But a strong pair of arms caught you before you could. Hiei gave a sigh as you help you up. His red eyes looked for any sign of injury. You blushed, "Th-thanks." You looked down to see what you had tripped on and blanched. You eyes went wide and a feeling of puking took over. There on the ground was a half-fleshed body. There was still blood around it so it looked like the thing was only killed only a few hours or so ago. Gasping you stumbled back, only to trip over another body.

Hiei caught you again, and looked down too what had gotten you so scared. He raised an eyebrow, not and all affected. "Over here." He called to the others. They walked over and Yusuke gave a low whistle. "Whoa baby."

They looked like they weren't fazed at all. You on the other hand were shaking and trembling with fear. Hiei noticed this as he held you. He entered your mind to erase the pain and fear, only to find shocking memories. Screams, blood and fear were racing in your mind. Looking at the dead bodies had brought back the images of the demon killing your parents were burning your memories. Tears trickled down your cheeks, as you clung onto Hiei. The others turned to look when a sob racked your body. Kurama's eyes instantly went soft as he came closer. "Mayumi-"

A roar that caused birds to fly from treetops cut him off. You nearly passed out. Kuwabara gave you a thoughtful look as he said, "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring her along." Yusuke hit him over the head and said, "Don't think about that now idiot! Here it comes!" Indeed it did come. A demon about 13 feet in the air came stomping out of the trees. It was a hideous beast with horns, scaly skin, claws, and the whole sha-bang.

And it looked awfully familiar.

"That's it!" you screamed. Hiei gave you a started look. Never had your voice reached that high or loud. You jumped out of Hiei's arms and pointed to the demon. "You! You're the one who-" your voice choked and became strangled as you finished your sentence, "-killed by parents." Their eyes went wide. They then jumped out of the way of demons first attack. You one the other hand were frozen on the spot.

Your mind had gone so blank. Oh so blank. It kept you rooted to your spot, until a voice rang in your head. Come on onna, move it! You were so scared you couldn't even answer as you closed your eyes and willed your feet to move. And they did.

Right in the way of the demon's next attack.

"Mayumi!"

You could hear your friend's cries of your name as the demon launched an attack right towards you. Your eyes squeezed shut and your arms crossed themselves over your head like some sort of pathetic defense. But it never came. Instead, a wary voice was whispering in your ear. "I didn't mean run that way onna."

You didn't open you eyes, but instead held onto Hiei as he moved you of way of the attack. "Rose Whip!" Kurama's attack came from somewhere behind you. Hiei set you down far away from the monster. "Stay here." You cracked your eyes open to see him looking over at you. You then totally caught him off guard by hugging him. "I-I I'm sorry I'm so useless!" you sobbed into his shoulder.

Hiei gently pulled you off of him and used his free hand to make your tear-stained face look into his. "No. You're not useless." You couldn't place it, but did he sound...upset? You let him go, and watched him race off to join the fight. He was going to make this creature from hell pay. Pay for hurting his onna.

Doing anything of any consequence, Without me, Showing any sign of ever making sense, Of my time, it's my life, And my right, to use it like I should Like he would, for the good, Of everything that I would ever know

It had been a few days since the incident in the Makai and you back in your old home. You sat in the windowsill, a light blue blanket wrapped tightly around you. Even though it was spring the Nigenkai, it was cold tonight. And windy. Very windy.

"Way to go Mayumi." You mocked yourself. "How could y-you ever think th-at the might li-ke you! He's going to be s-so much more happ-ier with Mukuro girl."

You threw down the blanket and walked back and forth.

"O-oh just l-look at that poor girl. First her parents d-die and now she gets her he-heartbroken?" She just had to and blab out that she loved Hiei. How could she even think that h-he'd r-return her fee-feelings? That he-he'd love a stupid wor-worthless girl like her?" You ridiculed yourself in a messed up gossipy-voice.

It was true. You had told Hiei how much you had loved him and how much he meant to you. But you should have known that Hiei wouldn't be able to return your feelings. He hadn't said anything and walked away. And now here you were, disgusted with yourself.

"Onna." You froze at the sound of his voice. How much had he heard...? Turning around slowly you saw him sitting the in windowsill where you just where. How could have missed his aura?! "Hiei, I-I..." your voice trailed off, not knowing why a blush was covering your face. You avoided his eyes like you did back when you had first met him, and back to the same nervousness.

"I-I s-so sorr-y..." you stuttered. A pair of arms closed around your waist as Hiei gave you a hug. "There's nothing to be sorry for Mayumi." Your eyes widened in shock. It was first time he had said your name since he met you. It raised goosebumps on your skin. In the good way of course. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just...confused."

Tears leaked down your cheeks and for first time since your parents died did you feel like you were loved. You arms moved from their side and warped around him. "Thank you." You whispered. Hiei kissed the top of your head, and mumbled. "There's no reason for you to be thanking me." You let out a sigh as you inhaled the fire demon's scent. "Ye-yea. Sorry."

Hiei let out a fake, exasperated sigh. He pulled away and wiped the tears from your eyes. "There's nothing to be sorry about either Mayumi." You chuckled and hugged him again. And it felt like you were the most useful person in the world.

I'm a little more than useless, When I think that I can't do this, You promise me that I'll get through this, And do something right, Do something right for once x2