Author's Note: I've been playing around with some Janet Evanovich shorts. I've had enough inspiration for two so far, and 'Him' is the first installment. What I have written are semi-independent scenes. These work together, but I haven't had the inspiration to write the transition between them. The next piece will occur several months after the end of this one.

This is going to end up Cupcake, I just can't see Stephanie with Ranger. So hang in there for chapter two!

These first few are based on songs by my favorite band, Collective Soul. This piece is inspired by "Him" from their album "Youth". The lyrics aren't here word for word, but the general ideas are there. The lyrics are at the end.

So far as the usual disclaimer: It's not mine, I'm just playing.

This is from Joe's point of view.

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Him

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It was a typical summer day in Trenton, New Jersey. It was too warm, but the storm clouds that had been blowing in during the last few hours promised a heavy rain before much longer. Since the air conditioner had decided to die earlier this morning, the dropping temperature was more than welcome. Granted, the rain would leave me soaked should I get called out into the field, but at least a cold rain would feel better than the scorching heat that had settled itself over the city for the last few weeks.

I glanced out the door to see if Bob had finished doing his thing in the back yard and called him back into the house with the first rumble of thunder. I poured him a bowl of dog food and grabbed my cell phone off the kitchen counter. Before I shoved the phone in my pocket, I flipped it open. I sighed heavily when the display showed that I had no new messages, snapping the phone closed a bit more harshly than was necessary.

Two nights ago Stephanie and I had gotten into yet another shouting match, and I was sure we were more than loud enough that we were heard several blocks away. She'd left in a flurry of furious activity, gathering up the clothes she kept here and shoving them into her car before taking off for her apartment. It wasn't a pretty exit, but I couldn't help but hope that she would call soon. There was no reason to think that this breakup was unlike any of the many we'd endured over the years. In the end, she would call, or invite herself over; or I would crack first and start telling her how much Bob missed her, stopping just short of begging her to come back.

Sparing one last glance for the house phone, I headed out the door to start my day. The rain had already begun to fall, and I figured that the weather matched my mood. I turned my eyes to the display on the dashboard and figured that I might as well waste some time before heading in to work. I donated enough time to the Trenton PD already, and I wasn't about to go in any sooner than I had to.

I drove around aimlessly for a few minutes, my mind swirling with thoughts of Stephanie. Damn, I couldn't get her out of my mind, couldn't stop wondering what kind of mess she'd get herself into today.

I couldn't help but play that night over in my mind.

------

I glanced up from the folder I had spread open in my arms, eyes locking on the clock. Five-forty-five.

Shit.

Steph was going to be pissed when I called to cancel dinner with her family. It wouldn't matter that we'd just gotten a break in the case that I'd been working on for the last few weeks, she'd still be angry that I couldn't be there when she was counting on me. Days like this did wonders for convincing her that I was husband material.

Shit.

I turned my eyes back to the Fed I was working with, setting the folder back down on my desk. "I've got to call my girlfriend," I explained, "I'm supposed to meet her for dinner." He gave me an affirmative nod, his attention still fixed on the file.

I moved out into the hallway and into an empty room. Grimacing, I pulled my cell phone and pressed the speed dial. I blew out a breath as I waited for her to pick up.

"Hey, Joe!" she responded brightly. Just when my day wasn't bad enough, I had to ruin hers. She obviously hadn't looked at the time recently or she'd know why I was calling.

"Hey, Cupcake," I replied, trying to match the lightness of her voice.

"What's up?"

I hesitated, wanting more than anything to tell her that I'd only be a few minutes late at most, or to just head over without me and I would meet her at her parents' house. I really didn't want to do this. "I'm not going to make it to dinner tonight."

She paused, and I could hear her foot tapping in the background. Just as I expected, she was pissed. "Why?" she demanded, her voice turned hard.

"Steph, I'm sorry, I began, wondering if she knew I was being sincere. "We just got a break in the case I've been working on." I blew out my breath, "I'm going to be out most of the night."

There was another long silence from her end. Most likely she was taking a few breaths to calm her temper. "How often is this going to happen?"

"If I could get out of this, you know I would," I explained. Not that it was a real explanation, but there wasn't a whole lot else to say.

"It's that case you've been working on with Terry Gillman, isn't it?"

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I chanted in my head. If I hesitated too long, that'd be an answer in and of itself and she'd be even more pissed. She would most likely come to conclusions that couldn't be farther from reality if she tried. I had a long history with Terry Gillman, one that I'd be thankful to forget, but Steph seemed to think that I harbored some leftover lust for Mob Princess Barbie. The thought alone made me shudder. "Yes," I admitted, hoping that I hadn't taken too long to answer. "She's an informant, I've told you that."

Silence on the other end.

Shit.

"Cupcake, I'm sor—"

I was cut off by the distinctive sound of her phone snapping shut, followed by the annoying screeching of the dead line. Wonderful, she'd hung up on me. I wasn't sure if things could get a whole lot worse.

Little did I know at the time.

When I returned home, I wasn't exactly expecting to see her car parked at the curb. A smile crossed my lips before I realized that I was excited to see her. It had been a long day, but I figured it wouldn't be completely in the hole if I could convince her to spend the night.

Hell, I was glad enough to see her that I'd just be happy to hold her all night long.

A grin plastered to my face, I strode up to my door and hurried inside, eager to see Stephanie. I considered just calling out to her, but I didn't think that waking her up if she had fallen asleep would earn me any points. Instead, I quickly checked the living room, and then headed upstairs to the bedroom.

I found her there, but the scene wasn't what I had expected.

"Cupcake, what are you doing?" I asked, fearing the worst.

She turned her head towards me, her hands still on the clothes hanging in the closet. "I'm getting my stuff," she replied, her voice cold; worse, those beautiful blue eyes were cold.

Oh, shit.

"It's not like I get to choose my assignments," I told her, wondering just how had this fight was going to be.

She snorted, "I doubt you turn ones like this down."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well what it means."

"I have never—" I began, raising my arms, and my voice, in frustration. "You think I'm taking these assignments to spend time with her? If I had a choice in the matter, I'd never see her again!" I started pacing, needing to do something with the pent up energy as the anger kicked in.

The look she shot me was skeptical at best.

"You," I said, my voice harsh with emotion, "I chose you."

She shook her head, whether at me or for her own benefit, I wasn't sure. "You've got one hell of a way of showing it, Morelli," she snapped, shoving a few more pieces of clothing into a bag. "What am I supposed to think when you stand me up, knowing full well you'll be spending your night with her?"

"It's. My. Job," I growled through clenched teeth.

"Convenient."

"What is it that you want me to say, Steph?"

"The truth."

"That is the truth!"

"Bullshit."

I bit my tongue to prevent demanding to know what the difference between my assignment and her constant jobs with Ranger. There was plenty I could say on that score, but I doubted that bringing Ranger up would end differently than any other time I took that route. I turned away, walking out of the room before I could say something we'd both regret. Things were quite obviously bad enough without me adding fuel to the fire.

From the safety of my office I heard her mutter as she shoved a few more things in her bag, hangers clanging against each other as they swayed on the bar. A few moments later, I listened to the sounds of the bag banging against each step as she made her descent, finalized by the slamming of the front door.

At least from here I couldn't hear the engine catch.

-----

I shook my head, silently berating myself for not paying attention to my driving. I didn't need to add to my shit week by having to explain a car accident to one of the guys from the station who would be called to the scene that I'd caused with my own inattention to the road.

How had I ended up in front of the bonds office, I wondered, watching out my passenger's side window.

And that's when I saw them.

The rumors had been flying around for months, but no one had dared say anything to my face. My reputation for having a short, violent temper was well earned, if a bit outdated. But it didn't keep me from hearing. I frequently told myself that despite the talk, Stephanie wouldn't be straying. I knew she was attracted to him, any fool could see that, but I was convinced that what we had was something that would last. Someday, hopefully soon, we'd grow up enough to make that commitment. I was sure that she realized it, too.

Stephanie was standing in the doorway, just out of reach of the heavy rain, save for the few stray drops that darkened her jeans. And there was Ranger, his arm comfortably around her shoulders, leaning in close to her ear, a slight smile on his lips. As I drove, she turned to face him, a laugh obviously lighting her face at something he said, one hand reaching around to settle itself on his shoulder.

Then he leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn't a light, chaste kiss between one friend and another. It was too much like the way I kissed her. There was no mistaking the intention behind a kiss like that.

Numb, I cut my eyes back to the road and continued a few more blocks, out of sight, pulling my SUV over to the side of the road before I caused the accident I was worrying about earlier. Placing my forehead on the steering wheel, I forced myself to take several deep breaths, fighting desperately to get my emotions under control. I wasn't sure which one took forefront: anger, betrayal, disbelief, or pain… a lot of pain.

So this is what it feels like to have our heart broken, I thought.

Stephanie hadn't seen me, I was sure of that much. Ranger, I wasn't so sure about. It wasn't as if he'd have any second thoughts of swooping in and claiming her, regardless of where I was when he did the claiming.

I wondered what he had told her. What he could give her that I couldn't.

I wondered what I had done to drive her into his arms. What it was that I hadn't done for her.

I wondered if she really knew that I was telling her the truth when I told her that I love her.

Loved, I corrected myself. Past-tense.

The car was too small, and I needed to move. I cut the engine and pulled out the key. Heedless of the rain falling down, I angled myself out of the car, reaching behind me and hitting the lock button on the key fob, and making my way to the sidewalk. I needed to walk, I needed to move.

I needed to get the hell away from here.

Was it him?

He had been there since the beginning. Stephanie had first recruited Ranger's help all those years ago when she was chasing me, her first FTA, down and he hadn't disappeared in the mean time. She continued seeing him on and off throughout the years, and each time I caught them together I was treated to a blistering lecture that it was work related or they were just friends. Just friends, my ass.

Was it me?

Had this mess been my fault? She knew that I was telling her to quit her job because I was terrified of what might happen to her, didn't she? She knew I love—no loved—her. I'd lost count of the times I told her I wanted to marry her, to live the rest of my life with her. She believed that much, didn't she? Where had I gone wrong?

Were his lies easier than my truth to believe?

I kept my head down, rain pounding on my head and shoulders, picking up the pace as I went along, my eyes trained on the sidewalk in front of me. Soon, I was running down familiar streets, just trying to work some of the emotion out of me. My heart was beating loud in my ears, nearly drowning out the sound of my footfalls on the concrete and the splatter of rain in the puddles.

"Joe!" I heard my name called out over the empty street. Unfortunately, I could hear that over the rasping of my breath.

More out of habit than any real desire to respond, I stopped, bending at the waist to catch my breath. I raised my hand to shove my rain-soaked hair out of my face, wiping. away the water that trickled down towards my eyes. "What?" I asked, my voice harsh.

Stephanie had her arms wrapped around her chest, clutching her jacket closed against the downpour. Her normally unruly curls were plastered to the sides of her face and she was clearly soaked through. "Can I talk to you?" she asked, hurrying up the sidewalk towards me.

Like I had a whole lot of choice. "Yeah?" I asked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. No real point in finding some place dry now.

She continued walking until she was right up beside me, close enough that we could reach out and touch one another. "I just…" she started, her eyes trained at our feet. "I wanted to apologize." Despite my best efforts, I snorted. Stephanie wasn't exactly known for making apologies; she wasn't known for admitting she was wrong. Her head snapped up and those blazing blue eyes locked on my face. Rather than responding I raised a brow at her, waiting for her to continue. "I'm sorry," she finally said, a slight snarl in her tone, most likely from the necessity of making the apology, "for the other night."

I nodded, my lips pursed together, not daring to do anything more.

"I—I overreacted," she turned her gaze downward again and swore. "It was a long night with my family. I took it out on you." She hesitated a moment longer, looking manifestly uncomfortable, then raised her hand to touch my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Joe."

"Well, it does explain you locking lips with Monoso a few minutes ago," I snapped, twitching my shoulder out of her reach. I let out a humorless laugh and shook my head at her.

I watched as the look of horror spread across her face. "It's not what you think—" she whispered, her shock written clearly on her face.

"Yeah, I must not have been seeing things clearly." I reached into my jacket pocket and grabbed the little box that I'd kept in there the last few weeks. "You've made your choice, Stephanie. And I'm making mine," I told her, dropping the velvet lined jewelry box in the puddle at her feet, turning on my heel and walking away.

I heard her call out my name as I walked, but I didn't turn around.

She'd made her choice.

Him.

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"Him"

Well I took a little ride through the pouring rain
To think about the casualties of your extremes
'Cause what you said ain't what you do
You know you live by the words you choose.

Was it him?
Was it me?
Were his lies easier than my truth to believe?

Well I took a little walk through the driving rain
To catch my breath from your self inflicted change
'Cause what you said ain't what you do
I feel this storm will soon blanket you

Was it him?
Was it me?
Were his lies easier than my truth to believe?

And the rain calms just like a bed of nails.
And the rain calms just like summer in hell.

**Collective Soul's "Him" from their album, "Youth."

Hang in there for Chapter Two, Forgiveness. It's up and ready to read! I promise that all things will be right with the world, and Joe's going to get Stephanie back.