"The waiting time"
Why is the need to ridicule everything that's different imprinted in the Human mind? The primitive desire to reject or repudiate a situation which deviates from what's considered "normal". The alienation of everyone who walks away from the copious behaviours. And what happened today was only one more case, in an immense ocean of infinite cases of discrimination.
Vitya knew it since the day he was born. His mother had birthed him gay. And he was a perfectly happy boy until his arrival to high school. Punched and bloody, the petit framed boy made a habit of crying in the school's public bathroom whenever the other boy's comments hit too close to home. Today was a particular hard day and he needed to compose himself before going home, so his mother wouldn't notice his chaotic state.
He looked himself in the mirror of the empty bathroom. The white dusty tiles made him feel cold and his pale skin looked even more sick under those mechanical yellow lights. His blue eyes looked dull and red, bare of emotions but, at the same time, they could scream what his mouth was too coward to say. On his bruised arms, the scars of horizontal attempts to silence. He pushed his sleeves down, picked up his recently ripped backpack and, wiping his tears, exited the room.
Arriving to the subways' platform during the afternoon's rush hour, Vitya mingled with the crowd until he found a vacant space right on the edge of the stage. He occupied it. The electric board announced three minutes until the train's arrival. He looked around and absorbed the station. Probably built forty years ago, the walls were already missing some tiles and the mouldy green paint had acquired a tone of filthy black, thanks to years and years of accumulated powder. On the opposite platform, a group of boys his age chatted joyfully and a sentiment of jealousy punched him in the stomach. He looked away.
"Why won't they accept me?" – He muttered under his breath. Tears threatened to fall, so he closed his eyes. His ears analysed the noise around him. The world as loud and muddled as his mind. He stayed motionless as nobody noticed the destruction going on inside him. Two minutes until the train's arrival.
"Do it." – His mind whispered. The boy opened his eyes, astonished, and a single tear rolled down his left cheek. He quickly whipped It. Could he really do It? The station was full of people eager to go home. His mother was waiting for him to join her for dinner. So, him doing this, would spoil people's plans. - "But nobody would really miss you. Be selfish." – Where was this coming from? Why were his feet moving towards the edge of the stand without his consent? But he must admit that the plan didn't seem that absurd at that moment… One minute until the train's arrival.
He could hear the energy going through the train's rails now and the crowd moved forward collectively, expectantly. He felt cold and his whole body felt stuck. All he had to do was jump, right? He would probably feel something, but It would all be over soon, right?
The train entered the station loudly. Vitya let a desperate sigh escape his trembling lips and closed his gelid eyes. He took a step forward as he wished for his next life to be better than that hell. But the train never did hit him. The lights never went out. Two warm arms hold him in place, and the holder of two melted chocolate eyes begged him not to go. And, without catching the train, Vitya felt like he was home.