The Greatest Loss
Part I: The Loss
This story may seem a little OOC but that is do to insanity so I don't really
think it counts. I wrote this on how I felt today. Enjoy. May be a little
angsty.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing. The story was written for enjoyment
purposes.
* * *
He awoke in the middle of the night; he had had the dream again. The same
one that had been haunting him for the past month or so, he couldn't quite
remember. Every time he had it he would awake right before the end and be
drenched in sweat and the sheets stuck to him. He hated the dream more than
anything, more than the training he has had, more than the missions, even more
than the lives he was forced to take. It was the dream that had drove him to
his present state, alone, living in a dark apartment with the windows covered
by thick blankets as to not let any light in, living a solitude life full of
misery and hate. Hate only for himself. His room resembled somewhat a
cave that felt both dark and scary to be in. He hadn't eaten in days; he
was incredibly thin and weak compared to how he had been before the dream
had started. The dream, that was his problem it was the dream that caused
this to happen. The dream was to blame. If only he could make it go away.
**************************************************************
If only I could make the dream leave me alone, to let me sleep in peace. I
wish... No I can't wish that. It wouldn't make it any better. If there was
only another way... I can't ask for help. I refuse. There has to be a better
way to live than this. Of course I don't have to live either. No, that is
completely out of the question. I can't kill myself. My missions are over
and I don't need to kill myself. Or do I? I could, it would be so easy to do.
Just close your eyes and let it happen. If I talked to them, maybe the dream
would stop? But I can't talk to them; one is already dead. The other has long
since forgotten me and doesn't need me to bother them. I could talk to the
others, but they have their own lives now and don't need to worry about my
problems. If she hadn't of died, maybe I wouldn't have this dream? Or
would I for the other girl? If I talked to her would it go away? Would
that stop it from coming? I could try. I'll call her, but it probably won't
do me any good.
**************************************************************
He picked up the phone and after silent further debate, dialed the number
and waited for the image to appear. When it appeared, it seemed so happy
and carefree that he felt terrible for doing this and all the doubts he had
before caught up with him. As he stared at the face, it seemed to sadden at
his expression. He had been sleep deprived for so long and when he could
sleep he would always awake from the nightmare. His eyes were bloodshot
and had dark bags under them. The face on the screen would have made him
feel better if he had not caused her the pain to look at him. Her face seemed
so sad just because of him, he felt as if he were about to break down right
then and there, but he couldn't let himself do that in front of her. "Well
long time no see, huh?" she said trying to lighten the mood and break the
dead silence. "Are you alright Heero?" she inquired him, he seemed so sad
and she wanted to help anyway she could.
"I'm sorry," he choked out. She looked confused and raised an eyebrow. "I
shouldn't have called you," his voice was cracking up and he was about to
break down, "I'm sorry Relena." Tears started to stream from his eyes as
he reached to hand up the phone.
"Heero! Wait..." is what he heard her say before he terminated the line.
*****************************************************
Why did I do that? I shouldn't have called; I just made it worse; now
I've added another image to my dream. Another pain that I have caused her,
another image to torment me forever. I have to leave. I have to leave this
place, I have to leave this apartment, I have to get out. I have to get out!
*****************************************************
He sprang from the bedside he was on and to the door, before he reached it
the phone rang. A split-second decision made him answer it, for hope that it
might calm him and stop him from doing something irrational. He pressed the
button to turn the monitor on, it was Duo. "Hey Heero man, whassup wich
you? Hey listen, I just got a call from a certain someone, not mentioning
names or anything, but she told me that you called her and like I promised
you, I wouldn't give her your numba, so I called you instead. She told me
that you looked like shit, not her words or anything because let's face it;
Relena wouldn't say anything like that. But she told me what happened and
I said I'd talk to ya, so what's wrong Heero? You can tell me anything."
Heero was silent the entire time; Duo couldn't even tell that Heero was
breathing until when he quieted to wait for Heero's answer. Heero let out
a shaky sigh. His bottom lip trembled slightly and he broke down again.
Tears streaming down his face he tried his best to tell Duo about the dream,
about how it has haunted him, about how he thought he could make it go
away and why he tried to talk to Relena. "Duo, you can't tell anyone what
I'm about to tell you, you got it?" He nodded. Heero caught his breath,
and continued. " It all started a month or so ago, I started getting this
dream, about the bad memories of the past. I've tried everything I could
think of but it won't go away and it's driving my crazy, Duo I am going
insane from it, and I can't sleep and if I do within the first ten minutes
the dream comes and I can't get any rest, I sleep but I don't rest, and
I'm so tired," he stopped looking at the screen. He put his head down in
his hands and started gasping for air. Try as he might, he couldn't stop
crying.
"Heero, tell me what the bad memories in the dream are," Duo said calmly.
He hated seeing his friend this way, and he wanted to help him in anyway.
"Relena..." as he said this Duo was pushed from the phone and another face
appeared, the one from his previous call, unbeknownst to Heero. "Everything
that I've done to hurt her, her face comes into my head of whenever or
whatever I did to her happened. The pain on her face Duo, it kills me.
Knowing that I caused it makes it ten times as worse. I tried to talk to
her when I called her to apologize for everything but being that I am who
I am, I couldn't say the words that I wanted to and when her face came
up and saw me in my present state of looking like I just came back from
hell, made her look so sad, out of pity no doubt." He stopped there. He fell
back on his bed and lay there for a moment.
Duo had to clamp his hand over Relena's mouth so she wouldn't say anything
for Heero to acknowledge her presence. "Heero, hold on for one second
alright? I'll be right back," he left his friend and dragged Relena into the
next room so Heero wouldn't hear him yell at her. "Relena, first of all, he
doesn't know that I am at your home, he's thinks I'm at mine. He doesn't
know you were right there when he said that stuff to me. If he knew, he
would hate himself, and me. And with the way he is now, who knows what he
would do if he knew you heard him." Relena held back all the tears she could,
but eventually failed when she thought about what Duo said. The hot tears
started streaming down her cheeks and she had to hold back a cry. "I have
to go back and talk to him. I think you should stay here Relena." As he
walked back to the other room he heard music from the phone. "Heero?"
He stared blankly into the phone, banging his head slightly to the beat of
the music. "Duo, I gotta go. I'm sorry," Heero apologized as a hot tear came
rolling down his cheek. His eyes grew watery and they burned.
"Heero wait, don't go. You have to tell me more about this dream so that I
might help you. Heero," Duo tried to convince him to stay.
"Heero!" On hearing his name his head shot up and his eyes focused on
the screen now. Relena came into view on the screen. He glared at Duo
as more tears fell.
"Heero, I'm sorry..." he started but Heero interrupted him.
"Hey, don't worry about it. You're not the ones with the problems. That's me
remember. Right Relena?" he looked at her and their eyes met, both having
tears fall. He broke the gaze and looked at Duo, sucking in a deep breath
trying to calm himself he said this, "You shouldn't be the one who's sorry
Duo. I've done worse things than you have. Oh, and about the dream, I guess
I can tell you now since she heard everything anyway. Every time I close
my eyes I see the faces of two people-two girls- that I have tortured and
killed. Remember that little girl I told you about Duo? The girl and her dog?
I see her and the destruction I caused when I blew up that base. I killed
her Duo, an innocent little girl. And then there's the one I have tortured,
the one that I have threatened and ignored and..." he paused to get the
courage to say the words. " And loved." He stopped his speech and started
shaking. He looked at Duo's eyes and saw the pain in them that he had for
his friend. Then he looked at Relena; her eyes also full of pain and of guilt.
"Heero, I'm so sorry..." she started but Heero interrupted her too.
"No, Relena. I should be the one who's sorry. And I am, for everything that
I have done to you I apologize. But now I must leave. You won't be able to
contact me so don't try." He terminated the connection again. He fell back
on his bed and curled up in a ball. He played his music louder; to try to
drown out his thoughts. He just lay there and thought about how much this
song identified with him. He just zoned out again, like he always did before.
The phone rang again but he figured it was just Duo and Relena again so he
left it. It eventually stopped 2 minutes later, but Heero didn't notice, he
was murmuring the words of the song to himself.
*****************************************************
*I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
goodbye
I wipe it off the tile, the light is brighter this time
Everything is 3D blasphemy
My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up
This is not the way I pictured me
I can't control my shakes, how the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong...
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this
Is it a dream or a memory?
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
Get outta my head cuz I don't need this
why didn't I see this?
I am a victim - Manchurian candidate
I have sinned by just
Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
goodbye
You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain was always free
You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain was always free
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
uuuhhhah!
And it waits for you!*
Maybe, just maybe, that works. Maybe... I have to leave.
*****************************************************
Heero got up and packed his few things. He walked out the door and out of
the building. He walked down the street with a backpack slung over his
shoulder. He walked down the street and to the place he hid his Gundam. He
climbed in and started it up. Pushing a few buttons, Zero was ready and
operational. He flew up and headed in the direction of the Sanq Kingdom. He
flew to the beach where he had first met Relena.
*****************************************************
This is where the whole thing started. This is where my dream originated;
maybe this is the right place to end it?
Staring of into the ocean is a peaceful thing; too bad I won't be able to do
it among many other things again. But wait, I told Trowa to act on his
emotions, would this be acting on mine? No, it wouldn't. My emotions are
telling me to go away from here and to not self-detonate. But instead to go
see Duo and Relena? What good would that do? So what if I love her? She
was only crying because she felt pity for me. There's the button.
*****************************************************
He paused; he knew he had to make the right decision here. If he made the
wrong one, God only knows what will happen. Heero knew that he would never
fly Zero again, he would never see Duo, Trowa, Quatre, WuFei, or Relena
again.
*****************************************************
Could I do that? Never see Relena? Only if it meant that I would never hurt
her again. What the hell is that noise?
*****************************************************
He had to stop his thoughts due to the loud noise of another Gundam landing
near him. It was Duo. He had seen Zero and decided to come talk to Heero.
"Man what are you doing? You gonna self-detonate? What good would that
do? I'll tell you-none. If you killed yourself, a lot more people would miss
you than you think: me, the other guys, Relena. You didn't think that she
wouldn't mind if you died do you? You told her and me that you love her.
Well guess what buddy? She loves you too. She told me that she did right
before she broke down crying when you hung up."
"Duo, there is nothing to be done anymore. The missions are over, and as long
as she is around there will be no more wars. I am a soldier. That is all I know
how to be. Nothing else. Now back up, I don't want you to get caught in the
explosion."
"You moron!" Heero looked surprised at Duo. "Listen to me. She loves you!
Don't do this. If you do, she will die herself, out of pain and grief and guilt.
You didn't even let her apologize to you. If you die, she dies, and the world
erupts into chaos. Four pilots won't do the work. We need five. You need to
fly Zero over the Relena with me and Deathscythe and we can all sit down
and talk about this ok? Come on, let's go now."
"Thank you Duo. For everything." Duo took off towards the Peacecraft
mansion once he was sure Heero was following. Duo turned to face the way
towards Relena. "Hey, Duo?"
"Yeah buddy?"
"Tell Relena I forgive her and I love her for me."
"WHAT!?! Heero No!" Duo stopped his Gundam and turned around to see
the explosion on the sandy beach. "No."
*****************************************************
Well, you know that that doesn't have to be the end of the fic. Heero has
survived self-detonation before, who says he can't do it again? Just tell
me what you want to happen-- let him rest in peace, or return to his one
true love and hopefully find an end to his nightmare?
Angel Yuy
Part I: The Loss
This story may seem a little OOC but that is do to insanity so I don't really
think it counts. I wrote this on how I felt today. Enjoy. May be a little
angsty.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing. The story was written for enjoyment
purposes.
* * *
He awoke in the middle of the night; he had had the dream again. The same
one that had been haunting him for the past month or so, he couldn't quite
remember. Every time he had it he would awake right before the end and be
drenched in sweat and the sheets stuck to him. He hated the dream more than
anything, more than the training he has had, more than the missions, even more
than the lives he was forced to take. It was the dream that had drove him to
his present state, alone, living in a dark apartment with the windows covered
by thick blankets as to not let any light in, living a solitude life full of
misery and hate. Hate only for himself. His room resembled somewhat a
cave that felt both dark and scary to be in. He hadn't eaten in days; he
was incredibly thin and weak compared to how he had been before the dream
had started. The dream, that was his problem it was the dream that caused
this to happen. The dream was to blame. If only he could make it go away.
**************************************************************
If only I could make the dream leave me alone, to let me sleep in peace. I
wish... No I can't wish that. It wouldn't make it any better. If there was
only another way... I can't ask for help. I refuse. There has to be a better
way to live than this. Of course I don't have to live either. No, that is
completely out of the question. I can't kill myself. My missions are over
and I don't need to kill myself. Or do I? I could, it would be so easy to do.
Just close your eyes and let it happen. If I talked to them, maybe the dream
would stop? But I can't talk to them; one is already dead. The other has long
since forgotten me and doesn't need me to bother them. I could talk to the
others, but they have their own lives now and don't need to worry about my
problems. If she hadn't of died, maybe I wouldn't have this dream? Or
would I for the other girl? If I talked to her would it go away? Would
that stop it from coming? I could try. I'll call her, but it probably won't
do me any good.
**************************************************************
He picked up the phone and after silent further debate, dialed the number
and waited for the image to appear. When it appeared, it seemed so happy
and carefree that he felt terrible for doing this and all the doubts he had
before caught up with him. As he stared at the face, it seemed to sadden at
his expression. He had been sleep deprived for so long and when he could
sleep he would always awake from the nightmare. His eyes were bloodshot
and had dark bags under them. The face on the screen would have made him
feel better if he had not caused her the pain to look at him. Her face seemed
so sad just because of him, he felt as if he were about to break down right
then and there, but he couldn't let himself do that in front of her. "Well
long time no see, huh?" she said trying to lighten the mood and break the
dead silence. "Are you alright Heero?" she inquired him, he seemed so sad
and she wanted to help anyway she could.
"I'm sorry," he choked out. She looked confused and raised an eyebrow. "I
shouldn't have called you," his voice was cracking up and he was about to
break down, "I'm sorry Relena." Tears started to stream from his eyes as
he reached to hand up the phone.
"Heero! Wait..." is what he heard her say before he terminated the line.
*****************************************************
Why did I do that? I shouldn't have called; I just made it worse; now
I've added another image to my dream. Another pain that I have caused her,
another image to torment me forever. I have to leave. I have to leave this
place, I have to leave this apartment, I have to get out. I have to get out!
*****************************************************
He sprang from the bedside he was on and to the door, before he reached it
the phone rang. A split-second decision made him answer it, for hope that it
might calm him and stop him from doing something irrational. He pressed the
button to turn the monitor on, it was Duo. "Hey Heero man, whassup wich
you? Hey listen, I just got a call from a certain someone, not mentioning
names or anything, but she told me that you called her and like I promised
you, I wouldn't give her your numba, so I called you instead. She told me
that you looked like shit, not her words or anything because let's face it;
Relena wouldn't say anything like that. But she told me what happened and
I said I'd talk to ya, so what's wrong Heero? You can tell me anything."
Heero was silent the entire time; Duo couldn't even tell that Heero was
breathing until when he quieted to wait for Heero's answer. Heero let out
a shaky sigh. His bottom lip trembled slightly and he broke down again.
Tears streaming down his face he tried his best to tell Duo about the dream,
about how it has haunted him, about how he thought he could make it go
away and why he tried to talk to Relena. "Duo, you can't tell anyone what
I'm about to tell you, you got it?" He nodded. Heero caught his breath,
and continued. " It all started a month or so ago, I started getting this
dream, about the bad memories of the past. I've tried everything I could
think of but it won't go away and it's driving my crazy, Duo I am going
insane from it, and I can't sleep and if I do within the first ten minutes
the dream comes and I can't get any rest, I sleep but I don't rest, and
I'm so tired," he stopped looking at the screen. He put his head down in
his hands and started gasping for air. Try as he might, he couldn't stop
crying.
"Heero, tell me what the bad memories in the dream are," Duo said calmly.
He hated seeing his friend this way, and he wanted to help him in anyway.
"Relena..." as he said this Duo was pushed from the phone and another face
appeared, the one from his previous call, unbeknownst to Heero. "Everything
that I've done to hurt her, her face comes into my head of whenever or
whatever I did to her happened. The pain on her face Duo, it kills me.
Knowing that I caused it makes it ten times as worse. I tried to talk to
her when I called her to apologize for everything but being that I am who
I am, I couldn't say the words that I wanted to and when her face came
up and saw me in my present state of looking like I just came back from
hell, made her look so sad, out of pity no doubt." He stopped there. He fell
back on his bed and lay there for a moment.
Duo had to clamp his hand over Relena's mouth so she wouldn't say anything
for Heero to acknowledge her presence. "Heero, hold on for one second
alright? I'll be right back," he left his friend and dragged Relena into the
next room so Heero wouldn't hear him yell at her. "Relena, first of all, he
doesn't know that I am at your home, he's thinks I'm at mine. He doesn't
know you were right there when he said that stuff to me. If he knew, he
would hate himself, and me. And with the way he is now, who knows what he
would do if he knew you heard him." Relena held back all the tears she could,
but eventually failed when she thought about what Duo said. The hot tears
started streaming down her cheeks and she had to hold back a cry. "I have
to go back and talk to him. I think you should stay here Relena." As he
walked back to the other room he heard music from the phone. "Heero?"
He stared blankly into the phone, banging his head slightly to the beat of
the music. "Duo, I gotta go. I'm sorry," Heero apologized as a hot tear came
rolling down his cheek. His eyes grew watery and they burned.
"Heero wait, don't go. You have to tell me more about this dream so that I
might help you. Heero," Duo tried to convince him to stay.
"Heero!" On hearing his name his head shot up and his eyes focused on
the screen now. Relena came into view on the screen. He glared at Duo
as more tears fell.
"Heero, I'm sorry..." he started but Heero interrupted him.
"Hey, don't worry about it. You're not the ones with the problems. That's me
remember. Right Relena?" he looked at her and their eyes met, both having
tears fall. He broke the gaze and looked at Duo, sucking in a deep breath
trying to calm himself he said this, "You shouldn't be the one who's sorry
Duo. I've done worse things than you have. Oh, and about the dream, I guess
I can tell you now since she heard everything anyway. Every time I close
my eyes I see the faces of two people-two girls- that I have tortured and
killed. Remember that little girl I told you about Duo? The girl and her dog?
I see her and the destruction I caused when I blew up that base. I killed
her Duo, an innocent little girl. And then there's the one I have tortured,
the one that I have threatened and ignored and..." he paused to get the
courage to say the words. " And loved." He stopped his speech and started
shaking. He looked at Duo's eyes and saw the pain in them that he had for
his friend. Then he looked at Relena; her eyes also full of pain and of guilt.
"Heero, I'm so sorry..." she started but Heero interrupted her too.
"No, Relena. I should be the one who's sorry. And I am, for everything that
I have done to you I apologize. But now I must leave. You won't be able to
contact me so don't try." He terminated the connection again. He fell back
on his bed and curled up in a ball. He played his music louder; to try to
drown out his thoughts. He just lay there and thought about how much this
song identified with him. He just zoned out again, like he always did before.
The phone rang again but he figured it was just Duo and Relena again so he
left it. It eventually stopped 2 minutes later, but Heero didn't notice, he
was murmuring the words of the song to himself.
*****************************************************
*I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
goodbye
I wipe it off the tile, the light is brighter this time
Everything is 3D blasphemy
My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up
This is not the way I pictured me
I can't control my shakes, how the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong...
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this
Is it a dream or a memory?
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
Get outta my head cuz I don't need this
why didn't I see this?
I am a victim - Manchurian candidate
I have sinned by just
Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
goodbye
You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain was always free
You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain was always free
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...
uuuhhhah!
And it waits for you!*
Maybe, just maybe, that works. Maybe... I have to leave.
*****************************************************
Heero got up and packed his few things. He walked out the door and out of
the building. He walked down the street with a backpack slung over his
shoulder. He walked down the street and to the place he hid his Gundam. He
climbed in and started it up. Pushing a few buttons, Zero was ready and
operational. He flew up and headed in the direction of the Sanq Kingdom. He
flew to the beach where he had first met Relena.
*****************************************************
This is where the whole thing started. This is where my dream originated;
maybe this is the right place to end it?
Staring of into the ocean is a peaceful thing; too bad I won't be able to do
it among many other things again. But wait, I told Trowa to act on his
emotions, would this be acting on mine? No, it wouldn't. My emotions are
telling me to go away from here and to not self-detonate. But instead to go
see Duo and Relena? What good would that do? So what if I love her? She
was only crying because she felt pity for me. There's the button.
*****************************************************
He paused; he knew he had to make the right decision here. If he made the
wrong one, God only knows what will happen. Heero knew that he would never
fly Zero again, he would never see Duo, Trowa, Quatre, WuFei, or Relena
again.
*****************************************************
Could I do that? Never see Relena? Only if it meant that I would never hurt
her again. What the hell is that noise?
*****************************************************
He had to stop his thoughts due to the loud noise of another Gundam landing
near him. It was Duo. He had seen Zero and decided to come talk to Heero.
"Man what are you doing? You gonna self-detonate? What good would that
do? I'll tell you-none. If you killed yourself, a lot more people would miss
you than you think: me, the other guys, Relena. You didn't think that she
wouldn't mind if you died do you? You told her and me that you love her.
Well guess what buddy? She loves you too. She told me that she did right
before she broke down crying when you hung up."
"Duo, there is nothing to be done anymore. The missions are over, and as long
as she is around there will be no more wars. I am a soldier. That is all I know
how to be. Nothing else. Now back up, I don't want you to get caught in the
explosion."
"You moron!" Heero looked surprised at Duo. "Listen to me. She loves you!
Don't do this. If you do, she will die herself, out of pain and grief and guilt.
You didn't even let her apologize to you. If you die, she dies, and the world
erupts into chaos. Four pilots won't do the work. We need five. You need to
fly Zero over the Relena with me and Deathscythe and we can all sit down
and talk about this ok? Come on, let's go now."
"Thank you Duo. For everything." Duo took off towards the Peacecraft
mansion once he was sure Heero was following. Duo turned to face the way
towards Relena. "Hey, Duo?"
"Yeah buddy?"
"Tell Relena I forgive her and I love her for me."
"WHAT!?! Heero No!" Duo stopped his Gundam and turned around to see
the explosion on the sandy beach. "No."
*****************************************************
Well, you know that that doesn't have to be the end of the fic. Heero has
survived self-detonation before, who says he can't do it again? Just tell
me what you want to happen-- let him rest in peace, or return to his one
true love and hopefully find an end to his nightmare?
Angel Yuy