Crack couples holllaaaaaaaaa!!!!Enjoy some yaoi smut and confusion.I do not own Fairy Tail. Probably best.

Have fun!

GLORY

There was enough scotch in his system to have killed a lesser man. The weak concoction had cost him a fortune in jewel to get him as royally fucked up as he could be; not to mention he'd nearly closed the bar down with how mightily he drank. Never showing his intoxication, he'd been able to keep himself over-served by keeping track of those serving.

Gajeel had had one hell of a night, and was content to leave it behind by pickling himself. Being the angry man he was already, he'd been shoved into an even more foul mood by having his latest mission screwed to shit by that idiot flame brain. The iron slayer was no stranger to creating a mess, but Natsu sure seemed to make it an artform. At the end of the day, he'd OWED the town money in damages- something he'd been hoping to avoid so he could pay rent.

Yet here he was, blowing what little he had on liquor. The dragon shook his head as he stumbled into the bathroom to break the seal, nearly tripping over the cheap red carpeting that rose too high above the door track. Gripping the counter for balance, he blanched when his hand came away wet with Mavis knows what was left on the dingy ceramic top.

After a quick rinse, Gajeel ran his hands over his face and glared at the man in the mirror. Rosey cheeks, dark bags under his crimson eyes, and a healing purple bruise he could thank Natsu for bloomed on his jawline greeting him. Fuck he was a mess. Growling at his weakened appearance, he turned and made his way to the last stall to do his business.

While the dragon certainly wasn't the biggest man in his guild, he often opted for the oversized handicapable option to keep his broad shoulders from knocking against the metal walls. Using the bars beside the seat to lower himself, he sat and began relieving his tender blatter. Gajeel groaned in relief and put his head in his hands; there were some changes that needed to be made in his life, and he knew it.

Try as he might to think about his issues while sober, there was a wall that flew up around the delicate center of his heart attempting to keep him safe. There were bits and pieces of him that still clung to his life of solitude, before he'd joined Fairy Tail. Internally he wondered how long he could keep up the charade of needing nobody to talk to.

The jostling of the stall beside him shook him from his thoughts, bringing him back to the present. He stood and righted his clothing to make for an exit when a scent caught him off guard. He turned to face the stall beside him and inhaled, closing his eyes and steadying his frame with one hand curled around the support bar to his right. Maybe it was his drunken state but the familiar smell assaulted him. No way he could pinpoint exactly who it was beside him, but he knew one thing for sure: this person was practically dripping pheromones.

Pressing himself flush against the metal wall, curiosity was nagging his drunk brain as he continued to sniff toward the top of the stall that ended a few feet from the ceiling. Why was this smell so familiar? An unexpected animal noise of interest vibrated in his chest, bringing Gajeel back to his senses. What was he doing?? Pulling away from the wall, his belt caught on something and he looked down to drunkenly remove the obstacle.

What he saw made him pause. Two long, delicate fingers had looped themselves under his belt from a hole in the wall. Gajeel's eyes bulged when they tugged him forward playfully. The dragon stared as they caressed the fabric beneath the leather strap and tugged at the seam hiding his zipper. His heart hammered at how dexterous the slender digits were, now scraping their nails against him.

A tightness formed in his briefs with the strain of his growing erection. All thoughts were slowly making their way out; there was no room for thought here in this broken down shack of a bar bathroom. Instinct began to make waves in his subconscious, and before he knew what he was doing, he was unzipping his pants and pulling his heavy member free.

The fingers stilled when the velvet skin brushed against them, but only for moment before caressing the metal studs lining him. Beckoning Gajeel with a crook of a finger, the digits disappeared behind the barrier. Putting a hand around his thick length, the slayer guided it into the unknown, pressing his pelvis against the cool metal.

A pleasantly surprised gasp from the opposite side stroked his ego. There was no denying his size was formidable, being well over average in girth with a sturdy seven inches to push. The ladder of metal and the loop through the bottom of the crown created an imposing image, much like the rest of him. A hot breath across the sensitive skin made the dragon's smirk falter. He hadn't known exactly what to expect, but the sensation had his heart racing all the same.

The calloused tips of his fingers reached up to grip the thin metal wall at its peak. He heard the flimsy material bend slightly under the flexing of his knuckles, momentarily distracting his drunken thoughts. They came crashing back when a hot, wet muscle teasingly lapped once at his cock head. It was such a rush, being unable to see the owner of the mouth on the opposite side, unable to anticipate their movements or whether their lips would spread wide enough to take him.

All the same, the second lick up his shaft had him sputtering to take a shaky breath. Had they done this before? How many times? It had to be a man on the other side, this was the men's room... where did that leave him in all this?

A pinprick of fear made its way up his spine. He'd had women before, many women in fact. They'd pleasured him to completion and he'd walked away, sated but none the better for it. Did any of it hold any meaning?

Gajeel's mind slipped the moment lips closed around him and sucked gently, that delicious tongue coaxing the last bit of sanity from him. The sensation had him bucking blindly, trying his best to stay still but failing miserably. A light masculine laugh sounded around his shaft before the mouth once again pulled him in, this time as close to the base as he could get with the wall in the way.

It was such a simple noise, a simple sensation, but the way it made him twitch had his cheeks burning. The dragon had never thought he'd become aroused by the vale of androgyny being lifted. The person in the next stall was definitely male and they were definitely pleasuring him more intensely than he'd ever experienced. Gajeel moaned through his gritted teeth, his forehead coming to rest on the cool, warped steel.

Taking the sound as encouragement, the man on the other side began to blow him more forcefully. The suction of the warm, wet cavern had a tingling sensation burning into the base of his spine. The teeth that grazed his piercings and nipped lightly at his sensitive head had him trembling. Before he could stop himself, he grunted loudly without regard for any other possible bathroom occupants and bent finger-shaped grooves into the metal wall.

There was a husky groan of approval from behind the barrier. There was another scent in the air when the dragon tried to catch his breath, the smell of a nearing release. Whoever this man was, he was enjoying giving Gajeel pleasure as much as he was receiving.

"F-Fuck!!" He growled, losing control of his body and beginning to thrust wildly into the metal. His partner met his uneven protrusions with vigor, his tongue and teeth teasing him to the edge. Just before he fell over, he heard a deep moan on the other side and smelled the heady scent of the man's ejaculate. Just being in proximity would have driven him crazy, but knowing he'd had a hand in it pushed him off the cliff into a free falling orgasm.

The other man groaned again, his mouth still clamped tight around Gajeel as he felt his body cum in waves. When the lips finally released him with a popping noise, he withdrew himself from the hole and to his surprise found himself completely clean. A refreshed sound of a cleared mouth caused him to halt from reaching down to zip himself up. Where he'd expected there to be a swing of a door and the unmistakable sound of spitting into a sink, he realized it would never come.

He'd swallowed his seed down... and been willing.

"Holy shit..." Gajeel gasped, his breath still catching up to his heart, his fingers extending out to regain feeling among the grooves they'd worn. Warmth encased the top of his hands and he looked up to see pale digits caressing them. A bump against the opposite side signaled the other man's leaning against the metal wall. If he listened carefully through the beating of his heart, the dragon could hear the slow, steady breaths beside him.

Normally he wouldn't have allowed such an intimate action, but he was tired, drunk and didn't know who the hell the other person was. There was no danger to his reputation, because he was anonymous, just as the other man was. A sense of safety washed over him, in a strangely liberating way he hadn't known he'd been denied. Hesitating, he allowed his own tanned, gnarled fingers to reach up and lace with the other pair.

Another blush stung his high cheek bones. What was he thinking??

Their hands embraced each other's for a spell. The stranger traced soothing circles over the back of Gajeel's thumbs with his own. The bathroom was quiet, save for the ruckus behind the door to the bar. Slowly, his grip loosened when the stranger's did and he dropped his hands to make himself decent. The stall door next to his swung open and the man approached the mirrors, he assumed, to check his reflection.

Too nervous to move, the dragon waited until he heard the music swell and grow quiet again before he opened his stall a crack. Finding no one there, he approached the sink himself and rinsed his face. There was a part of him still in shock at his own actions, and he looked at his reflection for a minute or two trying to discover something new in himself.

When nothing revealed itself, the dragon clicked his tongue and pushed through the door. The music stung his ears, and he grumbled with the rude reminder that his buzz had fizzled into cold sobriety. Paying his tab and stepping into the night, he tried to push the odd chain of events from his mind. No good could come of him thinking about this too hard, and the fear of what exactly he'd find once he did kept him focussed on the pavement all the way to his small rental at the edge of town.

"What's the matter now? You said you needed work, didn't you??" Levy scolded from Jet's lap. "You won't have to go with team Natsu and you'll actually get to keep your reward money. Come on!! Pleaaaase???" She begged, pressing her palms together.

"Why can't 'Minuteman' go with ya?" He snarked, letting his ruby eyes fall lazily onto the carrot top behind her.

"Believe me, Bolts-for-brains, I have stamina with that speed." He waggled his eyebrows at his girl and laughed when she shrieked at their insinuations.

"Oh Mavis," she cried, covering her crimson face, "Do you both have to talk like that?!"

Jet smirked and wrapped his arms around Levy, his leer never leaving the dragon's. "I won't have either of our reputations being drug through the mud."

"Oh no," Gajeel sneered, his sharp canines glistening in the low light of the guild hall, "Can't have that now can we, Speedfuck?"

Before her fiance could build a rebuttal, the bookworm broke their searing glares with her head. "Well??" She sighed, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Will you come? Jet needs to help Droy with another mission and I need someone to protect us should we need it!"

Gajeel sniffed and looked at the reward money. "How many ways we need ta split it?" He grimaced when Levy's eyes lit up at the implied acceptance of the job and she sat forward, breaking the speed mage's hold on her and smiled excitedly at the dragon.

"Thank you! Thank you, Gajeel!! You won't regret it!! We would be splitting it three ways! It would be us and Lucy!" She gushed,reaching forward to hug the stiff slayer. He wasn't so much bothered by Levy's displays of physical affection as unsure how to reciprocate. There hadn't been a whole lot of bodily affection growing up with a dragon like Metalicana as a father. One look at the jealousy in Jet's eyes had his arms snaking around her while a hard grin stretched across his face.

"Course. What're friends for if not ta take an easy mission for jewel with ya?" Levy laughed, her hands pushing the slayer's body and wagging her finger at him.

"Now now, stop trying to make my future husband paranoid." She winked at him while sinking back into Jet's lap.

"Ain't my fault he's insecure." He grumbled, smirking at the relieved mage behind her. "So we're gettin' the family back together again, huh?"

Levy nodded and ran her hands over the notes beside her. "Yep! Just like old times! Lucy is going to help me by being an extra pair of eyes while I figure out the rune translations. Sometimes having someone there to bounce ideas off of is-"

"Don't care." Gajeel grouched and turned back to his dinner, chomping noisily on the nails strewn about his plate.

Levy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her. "Right. Anyway, the runes aren't in the safest area, so you'll need to be on your guard while we work."

Faking a yawn, Gajeel leaned on his elbows and leveled a side glance at the tiny mage. "I said I'd go- ya don't have ta keep convincin' me..."

Laughing, Levy left with Jet, giving Gajeel another bear hug on her way out. He watched her go and couldn't help the small upturn in one corner of his mouth. Despite how he kept people at arm's length, he'd made a special effort to be kind to the two women he'd tortured in Phantom Lord. To make amends for his crimes against them, he'd made himself available to keep them safe however he could.

They'd become his family within the guild, even if it had been brought about through stressful means. There was little he wouldn't do for Shrimp and Bunny.

Finishing his meal, he stood and headed home to pack. He hadn't planned on taking such a long mission, but the pay would be decent and he'd come home able to make rent and then some. He figured it would only take him a few hours to prepare what he'd needed with extra for when the girls inevitably overlooked something. After he'd packed everything away in a curiously organized dufflebag, the dragon said his goodbyes to Lily for the week and headed for Magnolia's transit station.

"Whadaya mean Bunny ain't comin?!" Gajeel pouted, dropping his bag onto the seat. He'd been hoping she'd let him lay his head in her lap to get through the train ride since Wendy was out on her own mission and couldn't cast Troya on him. "I brought'r stupid snacks and everythin'!"

"She's really sick, Gajeel." Levy tried to soothe his temper. "She wanted to come, you know she did... but I saw her and I could tell she'd be miserable the whole time. The poor thing was throwing up this morning and couldn't keep a thing down. Porlyuska was on her way to make sure she doesn't get dehydrated."

Sitting roughly onto the seat beside his bag, the dragon stuffed it in the compartment above him and crossed his arms. He didnt eant to admit that he worried for Lucy- she was never sick, and even when she was it hardly kept her from a job. Especially when she was needed for a non-laborous task. "How the hell am I gunna stand being alone without someone to translate for me when you nerd out?" Closing his eyes, his stomach already felt uneasy at the thought of the ride to come, but he attempted to throw it aside by picking on Levy.

The script mage giggled. "We won't be alone, though I don't think he'll be much help when it comes to that."

"Yes, It is doubtful I'll be of use in that particular area." A new voice droned dispassionately from the compartment doorway.

"Very useful in others!" Levy amended.

Gajeel opened his eye a crack and glowered at the lanky aristocrat entering and putting his gear in the compartment above Levy. The dragon's frown deepened. "Freed." He acknowledged tersely.

"Gajeel." The rune mage greeted indifferently with a small nod.

"Fucking perfect. How long is this mission again?" The thought of being stuck for a week while the two brainiacs rambled on and on seemingly in a different language from his own pissed him off. Lucy at least would make conversation with him, but Levy became so focussed on jobs she rarely spoke unless prompted. Being that he wasn't the type to start most conversations, this trip was becoming less and less appealing by the second.

"Don't be like that, Gaj. With Freed there, it's possible we'll finish even more quickly. I appreciate you taking the time, by the way." She addressed the green haired man who sat next to her in perfect posture.

The Rune mage smiled politely and waved it away with his hand. "Please, Levy, it was no trouble. The Raijinshuu is between missions at the moment so I'm happy to help where I can. Although..." Freed's cerulean eyes met the slayer's with a calculating expression, "...is it necessary to bring so many people? After all, I'd be happy to set up a barrier to keep any danger at bay while we work."

Gajeel sneered, standing to grab his things. "Don't have to ask me twice. Looks like ya got everything ya... need..." The train had begun it's departure and instantly the dragon sat back down and clutched his gut. 'Fuck I hate these things!' He thought clamping his eyes shut.

"Oh dear," the rune mage looked to his companion beside him, "You had better massage his scalp. I keep Laxus comfortable that way on our reluctant train rides."

Despite his raging nausea, Gajeel's insides were screaming at Levy to comply. 'Thank Mavis... maybe I'll get some relief...'

"Ah..." The bookworm stuttered nervously, "I-I don't know that Jet would appreciate that..."

'Fucking Quickdick makin' me miserable even when he ain't here.' A frustrated growl rumbled from his chest, his eyes still closed. "Don't worry 'bout it. Wouldn't want to cause any-"

What Gajeel hadn't noticed was that Freed had gotten up, sat next to him and was now forcing him to lay his head in his lap.

"The fuck ya think yer doin, nerd!?" He growled before clamping his hands over his mouth when a wave of stomach pain hit him.

"Just let me do this." The mage sighed, moving his fingers along his scalp through the shimmering ebony mane. "I don't relish in seeing others miserable. Despite my relatively neutral if not detesting opinion of you, we are Nakama."

Fighting with himself, Gajeel finally allowed the massage to sooth him, his body becoming limp after an hour. When the pain was safely in the background of his mind, he took a deep breath to compose himself.

...and went entirely rigid, eyes shooting open in fear.

'His scent...' that pinprick of fear returned to jab at him mercilessly.

Before he could react further, a large tremble in the track caught him off guard and shook the pain back into his stomach. "F-fuck!" He ground between his teeth.

Freed's hands stopped moving. Gajeel peaked up at him with one eye and saw a tightness to his jaw muscles, his eyes as wide as his own, and his face the brightest shade of crimson. Had the circumstances been different, he would have commented on how very much the rune mage resembled a Christmas tree. If the rapid anxious beating of the man's heart was any indication, he'd come to the same conclusion.

Freed had sucked him off in the bathroom of a dive bar.

When their eyes slowly met, their fear mirrored the other's.

Looking to the side to see Levy sleeping soundly, Freed swallowed thickly and looked down at the man still sitting in his lap. "I-"

"Don't." Gajeel hissed. "Shrimp's a light sleeper." There was an anxious sheen of sweat beginning to coat his brow and he wiped at it, trying to bring himself back down to his body.

"I wasn't going to say anything about... that." Freed murmured, keeping an eye on the resting woman across from him. His fingers started moving on the dragon's crown once again, eliciting a quiet groan that the man failed to stifle.

Losing his train of thought, the edges of the rune mage's lips curved up slightly. "Does that feel good?" He asked with what sounded like a hint of affection, increasing the pressure, his nails raking slightly against the slayer's scalp.

Something about the way the question came out had Gajeel's own cheeks burning. He looked away, his eyes trained with discipline onto the ceiling. "Shut the fuck up, nerd." He whispered, frustrated that he couldn't get up and sock the bastard without getting sick all over.

"I just want you to feel relaxed. You're so tense now that... we..." Freed murmured only as audible as dragon hearing would allow.

"I said shut up." He said, his eyes narrowing but staying trained on the ceiling tiles.

"I'm serious," the rune mage persisted, trying to make his way into the dragon's line of sight. "I don't want you to feel ill if you don't have t-"

Gajeel cut him off, trying to wrench Freed's hands from his hair. He'd had enough of his guild mate's talking and the things it was doing to him inside. The rune mage caught the warring fingers in his own and embraced them like he had that night. Violent angry red stained their faces, but the green haired man refused to let go when the other attempted to recoil.

"Do you have any idea I felt that night, Gajeel?" He whispered urgently, his eyes trying desperately to see into the crimson orbs avoiding him. "Do you want to know exactly what was on my mind when-"

The slayer leaned dangerously into the other man's face, his raven locks framing his palpable fury. "I won't repeat myself, Freed. Shut the f-"

Freed glared back, with his visible eye twitching angrily inches from Gajeel's face. "I felt appreciated!" He hissed, his perfect teeth gritting in defiance. "I didn't want to leave but how could I face someone with such confusing, new feelings spreading inside me at such an alarming rate? How exactly could I explain that to a perfect stranger I'd just..."

Part of the dragon relaxed at the flurry of mixed emotions that ran through Freed's facial features. Something akin to reluctant understanding swelled in his breast. Perhaps empathy. "I was... real drunk..." he admitted. "Sorry."

Freed chuckled and shook his head, moving his thumbs over Gajeel's. "How do you think I became so brazen?" An impish grin spread beneath his deeply apologetic eyes.

A wave of nausea swam through the dragon's gut and he doubled over, curling into himself in the rune mage's lap. A pained growl shook his frame when his mouth clamped shut. Freed fussed over him, soothing his scalp once again and muttering apologies for his unintentional neglect.

Once the danger of vomiting passed, Gajeel realized how intimately he was nestled against Freed's stomach with his forehead and jerked away. "Stop treatin' me like... like..." The dragon stuttered, trying to find the words he was looking for.

"Treating you like what?" The rune mage challenged, keeping his hands moving, having learned from his last mistake.

"Like you fuckin' care." Gajeel growled, his dark garnets leering unblinking into Freed's eyes. "Just because we... it don't mean shit."

Confusion marred his guild mate's face before he sniffed, obstinately putting his nose in the air. "I'm treating you no differently than any other Nakama."

Gajeel rolled his eyes, "My head is in your lap..."

"Oh MAN would you two give it a REST already!?" Levy groaned from her seat and rolled over to get more comfortable. The bookworm was scary when her sleep was interrupted.

Both men sat still before Gajeel's stomach lurched. "Little help here??" He gasped, turning pale despite the rosy tint of his cheeks.

"O-oh!" Freed's hands launched forward to return to their duties. "Right."