Another in the Inspired Series. This time, "Don't Make Me" by Blake Shelton.
Frustrated.
After hours of pacing and thinking, that was the best word Seeley Booth could come up with to describe his mood. He knew she would have a better word – she was always better at illustrating things, as long as she understood them. But since she was the reason he was so frustrated, he was going to have to stick with that word.
He'd worn a rut in his carpet pacing for hours, thinking about how best to broach the subject. After nearly three years of dancing around each other, he had finally gathered the courage to take her out on a date. And boy was she pissed…Booth thought as a smile graced his lips. He had dragged her to a twilight picnic, complete with stargazing, right in the middle of one of their cases. She had spent the whole time arguing with him to take her back to the lab and going over aspects of the case until he had kissed her senseless just to get her to stop talking for a few minutes. Needless to say, he remembered as his smile grew into a grin, they hadn't gone back to the Jeffersonian that night.
They'd made it to six months in a flash. Both had been surprised to find that the romance slid easily into their daily routines (as long as they remained professional at work, he heard her saying). At first that had been hard; two and a half years of pent up sexual frustration exploded like a volcano for those first couple of weeks. But they had settled down and he found that, if at all possible, he loved her more each day.
Then it had happened. Word had come down the grapevine, via Caroline, that Max Keenan would be put to death in Virginia. He had been the one to tell her and he watched as her last remaining family (no one still had a clue where Russ had gone) was stripped from her. They both knew it would take years for Max to actually be escorted to the chamber, but the end result was still the same. He had been there as she broke down and sobbed for the family she had never really known. And through it all he had vowed never to leave her side, to always be there for her when she needed him. Even as she drew away from him, locking her emotions away and becoming Dr. Brennan full-time, he told himself they would get through it.
But now, two months later, he was frustrated. She was working late at the lab – again, he huffed – and she would come home, shower, and fall into bed. But he was here, in her apartment, working out the best way to tell her. He shut his eyes briefly, imagining her face, trying to recall an image of her smiling. His heart saddened as he found he could not remember that particular image very clearly.
A key in her lock alerted him to her presence. He turned to offer her a smile as she walked in, but she barely acknowledged him. He followed her as she moved to her bedroom, stripping silently for her shower.
"How was work?" he tried as he sat on the bed. She shrugged and walked into the bathroom, calling back to him.
"Zach found evidence that a skeleton discovered from thirteenth century China shows marks consistent with North American wildlife. Hodgins is looking at the scoring now, and tomorrow we're supposed to contact some reserve specialist." He sighed as the shower started, effectively ending that particular conversation. He threw her clothes in the hamper and stalked back out to the living room. After ten minutes she came out dressing sweats with her hair pulled back. Adorable, was the first word that crossed his mind, but he shook it free. Thoughts like that would not help him with what he was about to do.
"Temperance, come here," he said softly, holding out his hand. She walked over to the couch and sat down, but did not reach for him. He took a deep breath and turned to her, looking into her distant blue eyes. "I have some things I need to say, and I want to say them before you interrupt me and…" he paused, sensing her curiosity. It irked him that she didn't seem more concerned, and he pressed on.
"I'm not really sure how to say this, so I will. You've distanced yourself, Temperance, from everyone around you. Ever since we found out about your dad –" she stood up sharply and stormed to the window. He followed her slowly, but did not get too close. "You shut down," he continued softly. "Sometimes, you look right through me, like I'm not here, like I don't matter to you anymore." He saw her shoulders tense and took it as a good sign. "I've tried, Temperance. I've tried to be strong for you, to help you through this. But now I'm just scared." She turned then, seeing the truth of his words in his eyes. He was scared…for her and for them. He took a step closer to her. "You've tried to hide away from the world and I've done everything I can think of to find you." The meaning behind his words suddenly became apparent to her, and he saw the flash of anger, or was that pain? Either way, he mused, it was emotion and that was a good thing. He opened his mouth to continue, but she cut him off.
"I never pegged you as a quitter, Seeley." Her voice was low and her tone cold, but he could sense the hurt behind it. She thought he was leaving, and right now Seeley couldn't convince himself, much less her, otherwise. But her words sparked something in him and he stepped even closer.
"I'm not a quitter," he returned evenly, "But I'm tired of fighting, Temperance. I love you, so much it hurts sometimes. And it took us so long to get where we are and I never want to lose that. But I can't…" he tried to find the right words and settled on the first ones that popped in his mind. "You're making me let go, Temperance, and I don't want to."
"If it's so hard, why don't you just go?" she accused, pointing at the door. He knew she didn't really mean it, but part of him – a very small part – wanted take her up on that offer. But before he did, he had to make one thing clear.
"Temperance, if I walk out that door tonight, that's it. So you better make damn sure that's what you want. You know I love you, more than my own life, and I know you love me too. But lately, it seems like our love is more of a burden to you than a blessing, and I can't live like that. If it's what you want, I'll unburden you, but you better make sure it's worth it, Temperance." She didn't move, her face showed no expression. He tried to get something from her, but the emotional wall she'd built up over the last two months stopped him cold. He couldn't help the tear that escaped him and he cursed her for making him do this.
He nodded, more to himself than her, and turned away. As he reached for the doorknob, he felt her presence behind him. When her warm hand landed on his back, he thought for a brief second she was going to try and use sex to get him to stay. But the sob that hitched her breath made him stop in his tracks. He turned, slowly, and stared at her, begging her. Then she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck like he was her lifeline. His arms automatically encircled her, protecting her from everything including herself.
"I can't do this without you," her voice was so soft, he almost missed it. But he sighed deeply and rubbed circles on her back.
"You're not doing anything, Temperance," he told her.
"I know…I don't know how…" her sobs were more frequent now, and he tightened his grip.
"Just talk to me," he told her solemnly, "You can always talk to me. Shutting everyone out isn't going to solve any problems, Temperance. You keep pushing people away and…" he stopped suddenly, knowing she knew the rest of his sentence.
"Everyone leaves…eventually." She sounded so certain, like it was one of the facts she worked with everyday.
"Hey," he said, pulling back to look in her eyes. He wiped the tears from her face with the pads of his thumbs, reveling in the emotion he found in them. "As long as you'll let me, I'll be here," he told her, "But that means you have to let me stay. You're independent and assertive, and those are just two of the thousands of things I love about you. But everybody needs somebody, Temperance. We humans are social creatures, you know," he smiled a little, happy to see her smiling in return. The sight was more beautiful than he remembered. She pulled him back to her fiercely, tightening her arms around his shoulders almost painfully.
"You deserve more," she said quietly after several moments of silence. He closed his eyes and pressed a tender kiss to her hair. He took her shoulders and made sure she was looking at him before he spoke.
"You, Temperance Brennan, are all I'll ever want or need. And I'll be here as long as you'll have me. Whatever it is that's bothering you, you have to let me know. Lean on me, Temperance." Without hesitation, she buried her face in his shoulder and, not long after, began crying. The anguish of the past two months poured out, and he cried with her. Eventually, they moved to the couch and she sat across his lap with her head in the crook of his neck. Tears stained both their shirts, but neither cared. Seeley reveled in the feel of her in his arms again, and Temperance slept more soundly than she had in two months.
He watched her sleep, occasionally brushing stray hairs back away from her face. He kissed her frequently, too – on the forehead, her hands, her shoulders, her eyelids. They had made it through one of the toughest times either of them had ever faced and they had come out stronger for it. As he drifted off, his earlier words to her were repeated in a fervent prayer to God.
Please, don't make me let go.
Let me know what you think. There'll be more to come as soon as I'm hit with inspiration. If anyone has a song they want used, let me know and I'll listen to it and see what I can do. No promises, mind you, but if I use your song the story will be dedicated to you.