The Art of Asking Nicely
By: Bar-Ohki
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. I do own Jaxith.
Rating: K, because the scariest thing that happens here is people chuckling.
Summary: Edward gets roped into dressing up as part the world's most obvious couple….
Other stuff: This is sort of a holiday special for another fic I am currently writing, A Pen or A Sword, but you do not have to read that one to enjoy this one. This little story does actually take place in A Pen or A Sword but not until much later. It's not very long and doesn't spoil anything. I posted it now when the thought was more appropriate. Hope y'all like!
For those who have not read A Pen or A Sword: Jaxith is technically Roy Mustang's great-nephew (yes this does work). He is fourteen and looks like exactly like his great-uncle except that he's shorter. For the sake of not confusing people, Jaxith and Roy are simply 'uncle' and 'nephew' in public. He's also from the West (like the American South). He is currently living with Roy and is friends with Ed and Al.
Story Begins Here!!
"Hey, Al?" Edward Elric asked his younger brother, sounding a little distressed. But what male with a half-decent bit of self respect wouldn't be distressed at the thought of wearing a bra.
"Yes?" Alphonse Elric, a tall suit of armor was standing a little behind his brother, holding a shirt.
"Why am I doing this?" Ed asked, cupping his 'breasts' feeling very uncomfortable. The young boy was standing before a mirror in his boxers and a fake set of breasts. His long blond hair was currently down and his golden eyes were filled with uncertainty.
"Because you look more like the Lieutenant than Jaxith does?" Al thought it was obvious.
"And how'd I get roped into dressing up as her?" Ed gestured for Al to hand him the shirt. Al obliged him.
"Because Jaxith asked nicely." Al handed Edward his dress uniform pants.
"I wonder if these even fit…." Edward muttered, never having actually bothered to put his uniform on until today. Thankfully his pants did fit. Next Ed was handed the back flap, which he made short work of putting on.
"Do you think we should adjust your rank do that it's right?" Al asked, holding up the jacket that's stars proclaimed the wearer to be a Major.
"No, I don't want to get into trouble." Ed pointed out. "I mean I'm trying to actively look like I'm dressing up, not impersonating a military officer."
"Y'all done in there?!" Jaxith's voice cried from the other side of the door.
"Yes!" Edward yelled back, throwing on the jacket. It stressed a little over the fake chest, but didn't look weird. Jaxith came in looking as if he had picked up clothes several sizes too big. He was swimming in the uniform.
"Holy shit! That's one of Mustang's-" Ed gasped at the realization.
"Ed, Al? Could one of you tailor this a little?" Jaxith lifted one of his arms to reveal that the sleeve was easily two hands too long.
"Sure." Ed clapped his hands, and with a small flash of alchemy, made the uniform fit significantly better, but it was still too big.
"Thanks!" Jaxith smiled, knowing full well why Ed couldn't make it perfect. "Could I borrow your watch?"
"Hmm…." Ed considered this one, Jaxith's puppy eyes were crumbling his resolve and certainly crumbled Al's.
"Brother, if you're right next to him it should be okay." Al pointed out, knowing Jaxith would never do anything with the watch.
"Okay." Ed picked up his black leather pants and removed the watch. He handed it to Jaxith.
"Thank you!" Edward found himself in a tackle-hug that Jaxith had bad habits of giving to everyone when he was really happy (1).
"Umph!"
Al just shook his head at the antics.
-later, at Headquarters-
"C-colonel M-mustang!?" Sergeant Charles gasped, staring at someone he honestly thought was Colonel Mustang. Jaxith sighed, his treat bag falling to his feet. This had been the third time they had gotten that reaction.
Edward and Jaxith were currently at Headquarters participating in the Central Hallows Eve Festival. Traditionally during this Festival all the offices at Headquarters allowed children in costume to walk in and ask for candy. Edward had never done this before, and Jaxith had gotten a call with very exact instructions from his mother to his great-uncle on where he should be going and what he was allowed to do. Thankfully, matching around in a military base asking for candy was on the 'a-okay' list.
"Congratulations, you guessed his costume correctly." Edward snorted sarcastically.
"Oh and you're Lieutenant Hawkeye-" The Sergeant was about to make a very predictable comment, so Ed cut him off.
"And this is my actual uniform. I'm not allowed to demote myself." Edward rolled his eyes.
"You're Major Elric!?" The Sergeant gasped.
"Yes."
"Well, nice costumes, have some candy." The Sergeant held out the bowl. Both boys' faces lit up as the made short work of grabbing a large handful and moving onto the next door.
"I just hope someone doesn't ask me to do paperwork or something…." Jaxith muttered with a sweatdrop.
"You're the one that decided this, not me." Edward reminded him.
-skipping to the office of Colonel Mustang-
"Heey…." Jaxith stopped and grinned.
"What?" Edward raised an amused eyebrow.
"I wonder if Uncle Roy is in…." He put his ear to the door. Frowning, Jaxith discovered it was soundproof. Edward chuckled, clapped his hands, and made a peephole. Looking in Ed discovered the Colonel was not in.
"He's not. Neither is Hawkeye." Edward's grin got bigger, knowing that when Jaxith made mischief, it was big.
Jaxith squared his shoulders, messed with his hair and set a serious expression on his face. Edward followed suit, also taking a place a pace behind his 'superior'. Jaxith placed one hand on the knob and shoved the door open, marching in.
"Get back to work!" He yelled, sounding remarkably like his great-uncle. He looked the part even more.
"Yes sir!" The rest of the members of the office immediately stopped loafing and started working all panicking. Edward, having an actual gun in on his hip, took it out and cocked it. The unsuspecting men went to work with even more vigor, afraid to look up.
Jaxith took this opportunity to pour the candy bowl into his and Ed's bags. They both marched, loudly, towards the inner office. Jaxith spun around on his heel.
"And stay working!" He barked. All men shivered at their work. Jaxith sat in his great-uncle's chair and Ed stood beside him, both wearing large grins.
As if on cue Mustang and Hawkeye came into the room. To their utter shock everyone was working.
"When did they decide they didn't need prompting?" Mustang sounded a little lost and upset, obviously having been looking forward to chewing the men out.
"But you just came in and yelled at us a few minutes ago!" Fuery shot his up, protesting.
Jaxith and Edward were snickering.
Everyone turned and looked at the two boys in costume, who were unable to hold in their laugher and were now making a lot of noise.
"Jaxith!" Roy snapped, knowing the culprit right away.
"What!?" Jaxith yelled back.
"Get out of my office!" Roy roared, sending both laughing boys out into the hall.
-the Fuhrer's office, some time later-
Bradley was laughing at the costumes.
"How quaint!" He chuckled. "So tell me, how did you get everything you needed to put that one together?"
Jaxith smiled. "You'll be amazed what you can get if you just ask nicely…."
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Yes, asking nicely got Jaxith a partner in crime, a watch, a uniform, and a uniform that fit much better. There's a lot of untold amusement and trouble these two get into that isn't said here (as it is spoilers) but you get the general idea. Happy Halloween and be safe.