The Time-Turner Mishap
By: 3insaneminds
a.k.a Jackie, Freddie and I
Disclaimer: If you seriously think that the great and wonderful J.K. Rowling is actually three crazy fourteen year old girls with too much time on their hands, I highly suggest you get some medical treatment.
WARNING: Beware of Plot Holes.
My life is officially over; dead, gone, capote! It used to be grand; I had everything! (everything!) And now? I'm stuck in detention with Draco Malfoy for doing something that I didn't even do! ARGH!
The worst part is not the idiot I'm sharing detention with (and that's bad enough) or that I didn't do it (that stinks too) but that he saw it all.
It all started during Transfiguration; my first and best class. Well, it started after Transfiguration, in Potions (my last and worst class). I was muttering to myself like always, and was randomly throwing ingredients into the cauldron and praying to whoever was listening that it wouldn't explode on me. In the process, I somehow threw my wand into the mix, and suddenly found myself twenty years in the future.
"Mommy, you're home early!" shrieked a tiny girl I didn't recognize, and I looked behind me to make sure she was talking to me
"Erm… Hi darling," I smiled uncertainly, "Work got out early," I invented nervously. The little girl smiled up at me, revealing two missing teeth. Just then, the back door opened.
"Daddy!" shrieked the girl, and ran into Malfoy's arms. I screamed loudly, then, being my usual sane self, ran out of the house shrieking, only to see the evil Pansy Parkinson waving from next door.
"Hi Parvati!" she called cheerfully; I fainted.
When I woke up, I realized that I was no longer in the subdivision, but in the Potions classroom, lying on the floor with several unfamiliar faces glancing down at me.
"Who are you?" I asked, and then—I think I passed out. Can't be sure though. Anyway, next thing I knew, some kid was calling me Professor Patil and asking me what happened and why I went so funny. I blamed the food, but I don't think she believed me.
I ran up into Dumbledore's office… if it was still his office.
"Professor?" I asked uncertainly, when, suddenly the person by the window turned around; it was Blaise Zabini. I felt like banging my head against the wall, but controlled myself. Instead, I asked if he had a time-turner I could use. Instead of answering, he walked up and kissed me, and now I was really confused.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Apparently, Malfoy doesn't satisfy my needs, so I cheat on him with Professor (ick!) Zabini. Man alive, my future self is really screwed up. Just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, Harry walked in.
"PARVATI?" asked—well screamed, Harry. "Do I not satisfy your needs?"
I could no longer stop myself. I groaned and banged my head against the wall, wishing something I've never wished before in my life: that I was back in potions class.
Pulling out my wand, I said, "Get me back twenty years or I will curse you right now,"
"Answer my question first," screamed Harry. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. It failed miserably.
"Get me back! Get me back, back, back!" I yelled, shaking my wand with emphasis, close to tears. Harry shook his head with disbelief, then reached into his pocket and gave me a time-turner.
"Spin it four times," he said.
"That will get me back?"
"Maybe. I could be playing a trick on you,"
"Harry James Potter, I am thirty-five years old, have a baby girl, am married to Draco Malfoy, am having an affair with Blaise Zabini and you and, to top it off, I'M A BLOODY PROFESSOR!" I roared at him, "Do not trifle with me," I warned him, my eyes narrowing. Harry gulped.
"Okay, okay. Five times, I swear!" Harry said, "I think."
"You think?" I hissed, "Potter, that's not good enough. I'm supposed to be in fifth year, not… ancient! You need to know! Is that clear?"
"Very. Five turns will for sure get you where you should be." Harry said as I began turning the time-turner. "No! That's the wrong direct—" Harry's voice was cut off as I started spinning again.
Suddenly, the spinning stopped and I was alone.
"Dang it!" I yelled, and began to turn the time-turner again, but in my anger, I turned it seven times. In the wrong direction. I reappeared in the middle of a stampeding mob.
"What the…" I yelled.
"Run for your life!" A woman shrieked, storming past me.
So I ran. For my life. I tripped over someone's foot and my time-turner broke. I froze. I was stuck in a stampeding mob a hundred years from my time with no time-turner. Someone was going to pay, and it was not going to be me.
Then, someone picked me up and put me in a flying car. I screamed! AAH!
"Whoa, cowgirl, chill," a male voice said. I turned to see emerald green eyes. My own narrowed.
"Who are you?" I asked, just as he dive-bombed the car into a tree. HARRY POTTER! Yay. No… wait… his hair was brown and he didn't have a scar. I frowned.
"Aidan Potter," the boy laughed, "You?"
"Parvati Patil. I'm gonna be the murderer of your grandfather!" I yelled over the car's engine, the crowd's screams and Aidan's laughter. Just then, Kate-Ann walked in, asking where the Mangrove room was.
"Oh, down the hall to the right, but don't get locked in because that won't end well," said an old woman helpfully.
I turned and looked at the backseat of the car and saw an old woman, that Kate-Ann person, a red-headed boy and a parrot.
"I wanna go home," I moaned.
"Jesus loves you!" yelled Miss Wags, "But no one likes the class of 8W! 8K smells like fish!"
"What's wrong with the world?" I screamed, shaking Aidan by the shoulders, "Who's Miss Wags? What do you mean 8K smells like fish? Why doesn't anyone like 8W? I don't get it!"
Suddenly, someone was shaking my shoulder.
"Parvati? You okay?" said a voice. I drowsily opened my eyes and, not even looking, hugged the person because I was so happy to be awake. Well, until I saw it was Draco Malfoy, with 'my' little girl behind him.
I looked at him, blinked and then threw my hands up into the air, "Screw this!"
Then, I confidently (well, sort of) marched off into the sunset praying that I'd somehow end up in Potions Class again. Maybe. But, of course, it took a couple of flying monkeys to do so. So, in conclusion, it was thanks to the Wizard of Oz that I was home… well, kinda.
Okay, look, you can't tell anyone but I ran into this big, scientific lab, right? They had mutant monkeys who had swallowed time-turners. They flew me back home… just in time to get framed for blowing up the Quidditch pitch and get detention with Malfoy. Fun, no?
The End
A/N: Hello all, this is 'I'. Freddie, Jackie and I wrote this one-shot and two others when we had at a sleepover the other night. Some of the things included were inside jokes, like Miss Wags and 8K and 8W and Kate-Ann and the Mangrove Room (Don't ask, you don't want to know). Anyway, it you could please review and tell us if we should post more fanfics like this, or if we should just read them and giggle insanely to ourselves, it'd be much appreciated. Thank you!
Love Always,
I