Disclaimer: I do not own McFLY.
A/N: This is my first compleated oneshot. It's not to great. I was in a rush to complete it and it kind of shows. I hope you still enjoy reading it though.
You never expect the guy you love to suddenly not be there. Everything was perfect, then one stupid jerk and it was all over in a flash. It makes me wonder what would have happened if I said no…
"Dougie! Dougie wake up!" I kept shaking his shoulders as if it would magically make him wake up. All around me I could hear people yelling and in the distance there were sirens but I barley noticed as all my attention was only on him lying there on the ground. There was blood everywhere but I didn't care as I kept shaking him while screaming his name. "Please, just open your eyes!" I could feel the tears falling from my eyes. "Please!" I knelt over him repeating those same sentences for what seemed like forever before I felt two arms pulling me up. "Let me go!" I fought against the arms. They were pulling me away from him. I had to be with him!
"Sarah, you need to let the paramedic's work on him," I heard Danny's gentle voice telling me but I didn't care. I just kept on fighting him. I was no match though and he just kept pulling me away.
When I saw them lifting him into the ambulance though I gave one last burst of energy and finally broke away running as fast as I could back to where they were getting ready to close the doors. "Wait!"
The paramedic looked at me. "Only, family is allowed in."
"But I'm his fiancé."
Six hours earlier…I felt his arms come around me as I stood outside on the balcony, waiting for the sun to rise. "Good morning. Why are you here so early?"
I smiled and leaned back into him. "That's what happens when you give your girlfriend keys to your house." I turned around to face him. "Plus, it's our two year anniversary. I wanted to spend every possible minute of it with you," I finished before kissing him. As I pulled away I sighed happily and hugged him. Everything right now was perfect. I had two weeks vacation, he was off from touring, and our relationship was still strong as ever after two wonderful years.
Not to mention, you didn't find a more amazing guy then Dougie Poynter. Bassist for a major band, sensitive, caring, and did I mention? He was smoking hot. He was also crazy, weird, shy, and not afraid to stand up for what he believed in. He was the guy I'd always wanted but could never find, and now he was mine.
I looked up at him smiling. "How did I end up with someone so great as you?"
He grinned. "I was asking myself the same question," he replied before kissing my forehead.
I smiled up at him. "You are so incredible."
"I know."
I gave him a light shove. "And cocky too!"
"But that's what you love about me."
I pulled him back. "Very true. So what are we doing today? Anything special planned for our two year?"
"As a matter of fact, yes." He pulled away and walked over to a desk where he pulled a small box out. I watched wide-eyed as he came back and stood in front of me. "I know this might not be what you completely expected, and I was going to do this tonight over dinner or something, but looking at you right now, with the sun rising behind you, you look so completely radiant I can't wait." After he got down on one knee and opened the box he continued, "These past two years have been amazing, and I am looking forward to many more. Sarah, will you marry me?"
I was stunned. The ring was so beautiful, and it looked like something I picked right out of a window. It fit my taste so perfectly it was like I had told him what to buy. I could barely breath let alone speak but I managed to sputter out a weak, " Yes!"
His face lit up as he pulled the ring out of the box and put it on my finger. "You won't regret this," he said me before giving me the softest kiss ever.
I smiled at him as our foreheads touched. "I never regret anything when it comes to you."
Present…
In the hospital they had made me stay out in the hall where I was forced to sit in those stupid plastic chairs. "I can't take this anymore! Why won't they tell me if he's ok?"
Danny looked startled at my outburst. "I'm sure they'll let us know as soon as he's out of surgery." He placed a comforting arm around my shoulder which I gratefully rested my head on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be alright, I'm sure of it. Dougie's a fighter, if anyone can survive this he can. Look, why don't I go get us some coffee?" I nodded and he stood up. "Alright, I'll be right back."
It turns out this wasn't a good idea, because just as Danny walked out the door, Tom and Harrywalked in. Tom I had no problem with, he'd always been nice to me, supportive of Dougie and I. It was Harry I hated. Yes, hated. From the moment we met, he'd never liked me. Always said Dougie could do so much better. I got up and hugged Tom, fresh tears in my eyes as I saw Tom's red-rimmed ones. "They won't tell me anything."
He hugged me back tight. "I know, we passed Danny on the way out. How are you holding up?"
"Horribly. He's been in surgery for four hours Tom, they should know something by now!"
"I know, I know. No news is good news though right?"
I sighed as I pulled back. "I guess."
Harry was the first to speak. "Sarah." It was one of those, 'don't even think I'm here for you' tones.
I nodded curtly. "Harry, glad to know your hatred for me didn't stop you from coming."
"Dougie's my best friend, even if he's stupid when it comes to girlfriends."
I felt my fists clench. "You are such a bas-"
"Enough!" Tom's voice being so loud startled me. "Dougie is in critical condition and all you two can do is bicker at each other? I've had it! I'm going to go help Danny," with that he stormed off, leaving Harry and I staring after him.
I finally turned to Harry, wiping my eyes. "He's right, we should at least be able to act civil. Even if that means we don't talk."
Harry opened his mouth, probably to say some sarcastic remark, before he closed it again merely nodding as he sat down.
Three hours earlier…
I leaned back in my chair. "That was a fantastic breakfast. Where did you lean how to make food like that?"
He grinned from where he stood at the stove. "Tom." I laughed, I should have known. Tom was our resident cook, forever inviting us over for dinners, lunches…if you could put it on a stove or in an oven; Tom knew how to make it. "He knew I wanted it to be special so he showed me how to make a couple of things."
I came up behind him wrapping my arms around his waist. "Well, he did a good job, considering you couldn't cook to save your life before."
"Hey."
I grinned and quickly kissed his cheek. "But you make mean poptarts."
"You got that right."
Present…
"How did you two meet?"
I was so startled that he was actually talking to me I didn't answer for a moment, unsure if he was actually being civil. "Why do you want to know?"
He shrugged. "It looks like they aren't coming back for awhile, and I'm tired of hearing page after page for Dr. Wilson. Plus, Dougie never told us."
I was surprised, "He didn't?"
"Well, not me, I usually left the room when any talk about you came up."
I fought the urge to say some nasty comment back. If he was being civil, so could I. "Oh, well, I had gotten a meet and greet pass for Dougie and Danny from some drawing and when I came to Dougie he was talking to this girl about this new CD and he was showing to her and she was just gushing about how great the band and how she loved them." I paused and rolled my eyes. "You could totally tell she didn't have a clue who they were though, and so when I met him next I promptly told him that I thought the band was rubbish. He looked at me a second before this smirk made his way on t his face and he looked all high and mighty and he said 'You have me confused with Harry, I'm the one who does like them.' I just snorted and took the CD from him and I stated that I didn't care if he liked them or not I still thought they were rubbish, I took the CD out of it's case and snapped it in two before I wrote my number on a piece of paper and told him to call me if he ever had a better taste in music. "
Harry's eyes widened. "That was you? I remember him telling Tom and I about that. I didn't think he ever actually called though. "
I gave a little smile. "He didn't. Not that I was expecting him to. It was nearly a year later when I met him again. He didn't recognize me. Not until I said 'I guess you never got better taste in music.' He gave me such a look. I remember it perfectly. He was so confused. Just looked and me, never said anything. So I kind of laughed and told him that I said to call me if he got better in taste in music. You should have seen his face, priceless, turns out he had wanted to call me but the goof lost the number, and I guess the rest is history."
Harry looked speechless (that was rare). He finally managed to nod then got this look on his and I finally realized he had completely gone off in his own world. I thought that was the end of it before he spoke once more. "I knew he was going to propose to you."
This surprised me. "And you were ok with it?"
"Hell no." I couldn't help but laugh a little, that was the Harry I knew, blunt and never sugar coating things. "I told him he was insane, and that you would just take all his money then leave him."
"Yeah?" Dougie never told me this.
"Yeah. Boy did he let me have it, started yelling at me that I didn't know what I was talking about, that you were a good person and that whether I liked it or not he was going to propose to you and so I'd better get over whatever problem I had with you." He paused for a moment and when he spoke again his voice was choked up, "I bet he hates me, probably is never going to talk to me again either."
I looked at his face and could see the tears in his eyes. I reached over and gently put my hand on his. He flinched but didn't move. "Harry…he didn't hate you, he was actually going over to talk to you."
"Dougie," I whined, "Do we really have to go see him? You know he hates me, I don't want to spend today fighting with him."
"Yes, it'll only take a moment, I just…I just need to talk to him, make sure things are ok. If you want you can wait here, I'll be gone no more than five minutes alright?" I let a sigh then nodded and he smiled before kissing my hand and letting it go, preparing to go across the street.
Present…
We both sat silent after I told him that, before my mobile started ringing causing us both to jump. I quickly reached into my pocket pulling it out inhaling sharply as I saw it was my mum. I don't know why but I put it on speakerphone. "Hi mum…"
"Sarah?" My mum's voice came out cheery. To cheery, and I knew. I just knew what was going to happen, yet I resisted the urge to hang up, and hoped she didn't know. "I tried called you earlier. Your dad and I just heard what happened, and I'm sorry this happened to you, but that boy was no good for you. Not that I'm ill talking the dead, just saying the truth and-"
I cut her off, "He's not dead." I could feel the tears in my eyes again; she was not going there. Harry was staring at the phone with wonder written all over his face.
"What?"
"Dougie. He's not dead, he's in surgery, and we don't know anything yet."
I heard her sigh. "Well dear, even if he does survive, he will be severely scarred I imagine. You won't want to stay with him. Now, I've talked to John, and he says he's willing to forgive you and will take you back."
I was in shock. I can't believe she actually just said that. My face burned with embarrassment, if Harry hated me before, he would surely want to kill me now. I quickly turned it off speakerphone and put the mobile to my ear hissing softly into it, "Mum! I don't want to get into this right now! I don't care, no. MUM! I am not going to ask if Danny is single. He's his best friend that's why! And I'm not leaving Dougie. Mum, he pro-" I paused as she cut me off to give me the rate of survival for this type of accident. Just in case you didn't know, it's ten percent. I let out a gasp and the tears fell from my eyes. "Mum, just stop! I don't care! Ju-"
I felt the phone being gently taken out of my arms. Then heard Harry's voice, "Mrs. Wilcox? This is Harry, Dougie's best friend. I think your daughter's been through enough right now." There was a pause. "As a matter of fact I am single." I buried my head in my hands, great, she was seeing if he wanted to date me. "I don't think her fiancé would like that very much. No, you heard correct. Fiancé. Yes, the same guy who is struggling for his life as we speak. Yes, I guess you didn't realize this relationship could be serious, I understand, yes. I'll let her know John still cares if she changes her mind. Good bye."
I heard him close the phone then looked at him through my tears. "I. Am so sorry." I looked down at my hands. "My parents think anyone but Dougie would be better for me, always thought his tattoo caused a bad example." I let out a slight laugh, running my fingers lightly over the tattoo peeking out of my own shirt's sleeve: Dougie's birthday present to me. "I haven't seen them in over six months, guess they have a lot to learn huh?" I could here my own voice wavering with each word. I looked up at him. He was staring intently at me. "What?"
"What happened? The accident, how did he get." he trailed off and I realized he couldn't say the words.
"Hit?" I said the word gently, but it still made tears come out harder. For both of us. I took a deep breath and started telling him…
I let a sigh then nodded and he smiled before kissing my hand and letting it go, preparing to go across the street. Me being the paranoid one called out, "Three seconds!" It was this rule I had, always wait three seconds before crossing the street, and I figured it gave the crazy idiot's who decided to run the light a chance to pass. He turned around and smiled the turned back and waited patiently three seconds for my benefit I knew. Too bad he was about three seconds to late. As he stepped out onto the street I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see a car speeding around the corner. "Dougie! Look out!" I screamed as loud as I could but it was too late, He saw it right before it hit him…
As I finished we both feel into silence, both taking I what I had just said. It was the first time I had actually said what had happened out loud and it hurt so badly. "He used to call me his Sar Bear," I declared suddenly, tears choking every word. "Said…he said I was even better then Care Bears because with me around to be safety concise nothing bad would ever happen to him if I was around." I let out a sob. "I got him hit Harry! If he had just ignored me he would have been halfway across the street when that car came." I let my head drop and couldn't face his death stare. There, I had said it out loud, now he actually had a reason to hate me, I might have gotten his best friend killed.
I was sobbing so bad I hardly noticed when a hand was put on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and got up and quickly moved to the other side of the room where I slid down the wall, still unable to control my sobs. Pretty soon I felt someone beside me, then two arms pulled me toward them. I pressed my face into Harry's shirt as he kept soothing me. "Shh, shh. It's alright. Your not to blame."
"But I am!" I looked up at him. "I'm perfectly to blame."
"So am I." I stared at him shocked.
"You?"
He nodded. "If I had just approved of you, he wouldn't have felt the need to talk to me." His eyes glistened with fresh tears. "He never would have been on that street," he whispered. It was my turn to hold him and whisper soothing words. We stayed like that for I don't know how long. Just sitting there, both understanding the tremendous guilt we both felt.
Finally though a Doctor came out and stood in front of us. "Ms. Wilcox? Mr. Judd?"
We both scrambled to our feet. I was the first to speak. "Is he ok? Can we see him?"
The doctor looked between the two of us and finally shook his head slowly. "I'm afraid we did all we could. He held on for a long time, but we lost him. I am so sorry for your loss."
I just stared at him. No, he was wrong. Dougie…Dougie couldn't be dead. I realized I had been holding my breath and took a shaky breath. I felt two arms hold on to me and that's when I realized my legs had given out. Harry led me back to the wall and we both sat there in silence, but surprisingly no tears came and as we sat there just taking comfort in the fact that we had each other right now, I finally realized. We had connected. We'd put our differences aside and faced this together. Unfortunately it had taken the death of the love of my life to realize I think we were both just scared the other would take him away from us. As I leaned my head on his shoulder I saw Tom and Danny finally coming back with our drinks and I felt a wave of emotion come over me. They didn't know. I suddenly felt a hand in mine and as they approached Harry and I stood together. Two friends about to break the horrible news.