Alright! This is my first story :) Please excuse my spelling, my spell check doesn't work, so i may occasionally have a few spelling or gammer mistakes. I've revised this chapter, so this is a re-upload. Please reand and review! It only takes a minute :)
Title: How I Live Now
Plot: Begins on the day after Dumbledore's funeral. Harry and his friends continue to seach for horcruxes.
Pairs: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks (no slash)
Rating: M, for violence and cursing and possible sexuall stuff
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling didn't write ANY of this-I created Harry potter and all his friends. (I wish :(
Chapter One: Trouble Already?
The ride back to platform nine and three quarters was long and dark. Rain poured down upon the train, splashing on the roof, trickling down the windows. Thunder boomed overhead. Lightning flashed in the distance.
Harry Potter sat alone in his compartment with his faced pressed against the cold window, staring out into the darkness, his vision obscured by the tiny droplets streaming down before him. Dark rings encircle his eyes, giving Harry the impression of being much older then he really was. Although his black hair was normally unorganized, today it was even more chaotic then normal. His green eyes, usually so full life, were clouded over as he replayed the scene of his professor's death time and time again in his head. He thought of how he had to watch as Dumbledore begged for mercy, to how those familiar two words had been uttered, to how that blinding green light had struck his dear old mentor through the chest.
Hatred bubbled up inside him for Snape and that prat, Malfoy. Malfoy had strutted into the room, looking much like a proud rooster, pointed his wand at Dumbledore's chest, but failed to utter the two words, Avada Kedavra, that would end his life. Then Snape walked in, his robes billowing out behind him, reminding Harry of a dementor. Dumbledore's beloved potion's master pointed his wand at Dumbledore, ignoring the pain and fear that lay behind Dumbledore's eyes, ignoring the desperate plea for help that Dumbledore cried out to him. With malice in his black eyes, Snape, the bloody traitor, struck Dumbledore with a single blow.
Harry shuddered at the memory, and pushed those thoughts aside. It was just too much for him to handle at the moment. He let out a quiet sigh, and filled it to the top with all of the anguish and torture he was going through.
At long last, Harry's eyes flickered shut, leaving his dark thoughts to dwell in the shadows of his mind until his next awakening.
"Harry! C'mon, Harry, wake up!" Hermione Granger leaned over Harry's sleeping body, gently shaking him awake. Her long, dark curls hovered just above his pale skin.
"Huh? Wha-?" Harry grumbled. With quite a bit of effort, Harry shook the sleep from his eyes and slowly sat up. He looked into the chocolate brown eyes of his best friend with annoyance. "What's so important that you had to wake my up for?"
"Were almost at the train station! We'll be there in less then five minutes! I suggest you change." Feeling rather insulted, Hermione left the compartment in a huff, leaving Harry staring at the closed door like an idiot. Silence once again fell over the nearly empty compartment.
"Oh."
The train lurched to a stop when it reached the station. As Harry stepped off the Hogwarts Express, he realized that it might be the last time he ever set foot on that train. Turning around to admire the beautiful black machine, he felt Hermione step up behind him. She put her small hand on Harry's shoulder.
"I have to go, Harry." She said in a tiny, mouse-like voice. "My parents are waiting for me in the car. Make sure you write to me over the summer, ok?" She paused. "Harry? Look at me." Harry complied. In a ferocious whisper, she said, "Everything is going to get better. I'm sure of it. We're gonna win. We're gonna kick Voldemort's a-"
"HERMIONE! Lets go! You're going to get soaked, standing in the pouring rain!" Her father shouted impatiently.
"Be right there!" Hermione yelled over her shoulder, then turned back to look at Harry.
Harry let out a small laugh. "You know what?" He looked around. "I believe you." And for the first time in days, Harry smiled a real smile. The clouds in his eyes seemed to clear a bit, and a bit of light shone through.
"HERMIONE! COME ON! DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE TO GET YOU! YOU'RE SLOWER THEN A TURTLE WITH NO LEGS!" Her dad's face was steadily growing redder, painfully reminding Harry of Uncle Vernon, and the simple fact that he would soon have to leave the company of his friends to go back to the Dursleys.
Giggling, she shouted back "Coming!" Hermoine gave Harry a quick hug. "See ya soon! And remember, we ARE going to kick that bloody bastards butt!" She darted to her car before her father could make any more statements about how slow she was.
Ron walked up to Harry. "What was that about?" He asked with a goofy smile on his face. "You two were giggling like first years!"
"Well, Hermione was just telling me how we're going to beat Voldemort, in more then a few, shall we say, 'colorful' words! I never knew that she even know how to curse!" Ear-to-ear grins spread out on the boy's faces.
All of a sudden, there was shriek. "HARRY!" Mrs. Weasley engulfed Harry in a hug big enough to strangle a bear.
"Mrs. Weasley…" He choked out, "can't…breathe…"
"Oh, dear, I'm terribly sorry!" she let go immediately, and inspected him, up and down. "How have you been? My, you look more then a bit peaky! Have you been eating at all? When you come to the burrow with us, I'll fatten you up! Well, come along now! There's no use standing out in this rain!"
Harry glanced at Ron, who was in hysterics at the scene his mother was making. Harry raised an eyebrow at his friend, making Ron laugh even harder.
"Umm… Mrs. Weasley? I still need to go back to the Dursley's house one last time, just for a little while, before I can come to the burrow." Harry's head hung on his chest. Although he dreaded the prospect of having to spend even one day with his last living relatives, he knew that it was the right choice to make. Besides, that was what Dumbledore had wanted, before-
No, Harry instructed himself. Don't go there.
"Oh, Harry, you don't have to go back to those horrible people! You can come straight-"
"No." Harry cut Mrs. Weasley off sharply. She looked somewhat offended. By this time, Ron had stopped laughing and was staring at Harry with curiosity in his eyes. He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, but as much as I hate going back, it's what Professor Dumbledore wanted me to do before he-" Harry stopped. He just couldn't bring himself to say that his professor was dead.
Mrs. Weasley gave Harry another hug, this one much softer. "Okay, dear. It's your choice to make. But as soon as you want to come to the burrow, just owl us, and we'll come and get you straight away." Releasing Harry from the hug, she turned to Ginny and Ron. "Alright, lets get your stuff into the car. We're leaving in five minutes."
Ron walked over to Harry and gave him a brief hug. "You're mental. Completely mental. You want to go back to those...those…animals? You're insane! " Ron threw his hands above his head. Harry laughed as Ron walked away, lugging his heavy trunk behind him.
Harry turned his attention back to the crowd of muggles, looking for either a very bony woman with a long neck (his aunt, Petunia) or a very fat man with beady eyes (his uncle, Vernon). They hadn't come. But harry wasn't all that surprised. He sat down on a nearby bench and waiting for the next bus to come by. A petite figure with beautiful red hair sat down next to him.
"Harry?" She asked. He ignored her, keeping his eyes on the dirty ground. She got up from the bench and kneeled right in front of him. Cupping his cheek in her hand, she said, "Harry, look at me. Please?" He raised his downcast eyes to meet hers. Ginny looked into his eyes for a minute. Then, without another word, she kissed him soundly on the lips.
She pulled back a few seconds later, and walked away without another word. Nothing. Harry stared after her. He wanted to get up and follow her. He wanted to kiss her soft, sweet lips again, to just hold her in his arms for a few more seconds.
No, Harry thought. I can't have her. It'll just put her into more danger then she's already in.
But, another voice said, Snape and Malfoy and other Slytherins knew that you were dating her. They probably already told Voldemort that you two were going out. So it wouldn't make much of a difference if you dated her or not!
Harry snapped back to reality when the bus squeaked to a stop in front of the bench. Slowly, Harry dragged himself and his trunk onto the bus, his emotions in turmoil.
"Where to?" the bus driver asked in a gruff voice.
"Privet Drive, please." Harry replied in a resigned voice. He sat down in an empty seat, tossed his head against the window, and closed his eyes, waiting for the bus to take him, for the final time, to the Dursleys.
By the time Harry was at the Dursley's it was dark out. The rain had stopped a while back, and the clouds had cleared, leaving a sky full of sparkling stars above. The bus had dropped Harry of two streets from Privet Drive. But Harry didn't mind. He enjoyed walking down the streets in the dark, staring up at the millions of tiny stars twinkling overhead. They taunted him, teased him; they look close enough to touch, but each time he reached, they were just out of his grasp.
This night, the stars were brighter then usual. Not a cloud was in the sky, despite it having been raining not an hour before. A cool breeze gently ruffled Harry's already-messy hair. He closed his eyes and sat down on the park's only swing, listening to the wind. Seconds turned into minutes. Harry lost all concept of time. He sat there, simply listening to the melody that the wind and the crickets sang. When he finally opened his eyes, there was a stunning full moon overhead, showering everyone in the open with rays of silver moonlight.
Harry was now purposely taking his time. At a pace barely faster then a snail's, he trudged down the rest of Privet Drive. Pausing for a moment outside of number seven, he tediously rang the doorbell.
Uncle Vernon answered the door. "What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly, beady eyes surveying Harry.
Harry lowered his eyes to the ground. "I have to stay here for a few weeks. Then I'm gone forever." Silence ensued his statement. After a few seconds, he dared to glace upwards to his uncles face. Instantaneously, he backed up a few paces. His uncle's face was rapidly turning purple. Just as Harry thought his uncle was going to explode from the pressure, Vernon took a deep breath, and calmly said,
"You are no longer allowed in this household. You have trespassed in our home, on our generosity, for far too long. You are nearly an adult. Find somewhere else to stay." Vernon abruptly walked into the house and slammed the door in Harry's face.
Well, so much for that ingenious idea! But I can't say I'm not happy that I get to spend the summer with my friends instead of those monsters. Harry shook his head. With a small grin pulling the corners of his mouth upwards, he swiftly walked back down to the park. Taking out a piece of black parchment from his trunk, he wrote:
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Weasley,
I'm happy to say that the Dursley's have promptly turned
me out of their home. Would it be horrible if I take you up on your offer
to left me stay in your house for the summer so quickly? If not, I can
always stay at my house. Write back quickly-currently I am residing
in the park nearly the Dursley's house. Thanks!
Yours truly,
Harry Potter
Harry set his trunk down next the park bench once again. He lay down with his hands under his head, shut his eyes, and slowly drifted off the sleep, without a single thought of the war in his mind.
There was a small glow over the horizon when Harry awoke to the sounds of soft voices. The stars, shining so brightly just a few hours ago, were beginning to fade. Drowsily, Harry sat up and shook the sleep from his hair. The first thing he noticed when he finally became aware of his surrounds were two shadowy figures and a head full of bright purple hair.
"Wotcher, Harry!" Tonks said in a voice as bright as her hair. Harry squinted as he looked into her face.
"Gosh Tonks, could you put out your hair? It's too early for the purple sun to be shining!
"Oh, you!" she replied playfully. "Fine, if you insist." She let out a long, over-dramatic sign and, pretending to be annoyed, turned her short, spiky purple hair into long golden waves. "Is that better?" She asked impatiently, hands on her hips, a smile in her eyes.
Harry snorted and turned to face the other person, who had yet to say a word.
"Hello, Harry." This voice belonged to a man. In the growing light, Harry could barely make out the smiling face of this old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Remus Lupin. Last time Harry had seen him, Lupin's eyes had been sunken deep into his head, surrounded by dark rings. Wrinkles had lined the corners of his eyes, and make thick paths along his forehead. But now, even in the poor light, Harry could see that the bags had disappeared from under his eyes, and the wrinkles were less noticeable. He was holding Tonks's hand.
Wow! Tonks has been really good for him! He looks five years younger! Harry thought.
"How have you been, Harry?" Remus asked kindly.
"Not that bad. I'm fine." Remus raised an eyebrow. "Really." Harry added.
"Well, those bags under your eyes tell me otherwise. It looks as if you could use a few good night's rest." Remus said skeptically. Harry stared at the ground.
"Stupid nightmares…" he muttered under his breath.
"Ahhh… I see. Well, we could have given you a dreamless sleep potion if you had asked."
"Yeah. And on the way here, some stupid death eater would manage to intercept the owl, and replace the potion with some sort of poison. Great plan." Remus looked somewhat crestfallen. Guiltily, Harry apologized. "I'm sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to snap at you. You're only trying to help." Harry stood up, paced a few steps, and yanked at his hair. "Ugh, I'm so up-tight these days!"
"It's ok Harry. Everyone's been a little tense since Dumbledore's death."
Harry flinched. He still didn't want to acknowledge his professor's death. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to know about it. He didn't want to hear about it. Every single time it was mentioned, the memory of his death, that fateful night in the Astronomy tower, flashed across his mind. Harry turned around as a single tear leaked out of his eye.
Remus noticed that when he mentioned Dumbledore, Harry's eyes clouded over. For a fleeting second, he could even see the heartache that Harry normally hid deep within his mind behind Harry's emerald eyes. He longed to know what Harry had seen the night of Albus Dumbledore's death. He wanted to be able to help. But knowing that Harry was James's son, and was as stubborn as a mule, it would be best not to push the information out of him. He would talk when he was ready.
Remus walked up behind Harry. "Harry? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Can we go now?" Harry spun around. There seemed to be a weakness in Harry that Remus hadn't ever seen before. Harry had always been strong. He never let anyone know how he was really feeling. Even if Harry were dying, he would still stand strong and deny death until he could no longer. No one would ever know that he was terrified, or how alone he felt. He was a natural leader. Remus admired him for that quality. But something had changed. On the night of Dumbledore's death, something had changed about Harry. It was as if the entire world had just been dropped onto his shoulders, and Harry had to struggle to keep himself from dropping it. He glanced at Tonks. A questioning gaze from her told him that he wasn't imagining it.
"Alright Harry. The car's waiting just over there. We couldn't apparate, because Voldemort is tracking you. He thinks this is where you live, but he doesn't know for sure. If we had apparated, he would have been able to detect the magic. Most likely he would have immediately blown up the entire street." Harry chuckled and nodded his head in understanding. "Oh, and Harry?" He turned around and looked Remus in the eye with such a piercing look that Remus momentarily forgot his question.
"What is it, Remus? I would really like to go. Can you please ask me in the car? Something doesn't feel right, it feels as if-" Harry stopped mid-sentence. All of the color had drained from his face. He closed his eyes, and tried to calm himself.
"Harry? Harry, what's wrong?" Tonks asked anxiously, glancing nervously around the park. After a few seconds and no response from Harry, she repeated, "Harry, speak to me. What's wrong?" Her tone more urgent.
Harry muttered something inaudible under his breath.
"Harry, you've gotta say it louder, hon. What's here? Or what's coming?" Tonks' voice was very high-pitched. She was nervous as hell. He still didn't respond. "HARRY!"
He opened his eyes. Barley more then a whisper, he repeated, "Dementors."
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