A/N: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

This is my first fanfic, so please be kind.

I would like the thank lotusblossom and maxandmo for your guidance, trust and inspiration.

And the Walls Came Tumbling Down

~Chapter 1-Total Devastation~

~Bella~

I sat there just perplexed and wondering how I had lost it all. My life went from joyous to completely falling to shambles in the blink of an eye. I went there to help people less fortunate than myself. I gave my life and the life of my family to help, and what does God do but give me the biggest test of my life. I have always gone through my life believing God only gives you what he believes you can handle and does so to make you a stronger soul. I never imagined in my 27 years on this Earth, I could be tested so harshly.

I was drained and exhausted, dreaming about the children and husband I had lost in the earthquake. It has been less than 12 hours since the devastation began and already I felt I had lived a lifetime without them. I felt a void in my heart which I knew would never be filled. Jacob, Leah and Seth were my life. We are all so young and just starting our lives. I can't help but ask why I was spared, Leah is only six and Seth is only 4 (I am still speaking as if they are still alive). How can this happen, how can God do this to me? I have lost the love of my life, Jacob. He was a part my soul. He completed me and now he is gone.

Haiti was the one place we thought our skills could help. I loved to care for the people in the run-down hospitals and I felt it was a challenge to do so. The technology here was subpar to say the least. I had to use the skills I learned in nursing school to their fullest. The doctor could not just order any test willy nilly and I couldn't just hope they would be able to come every other day to their dialysis treatment, every treatment could have been their last. I had become so attached to each patient and I felt as if they were a part of my family. I wonder how many of them I had lost because of this awful earthquake.

Jacob followed me here thinking he could start making each building more earthquake proof, one building at a time. But, with the limited resources and politics he was having a difficult time, yet he did feel he was making some sort of difference. Now, I find it extremely ironic how he was killed by what he devoted his life to fix and his children, which were his life, met the same fate. I found myself asking God again, why was I spared?

I arrived at work that morning knowing it was going to be a long day. We had three shifts of patients to dialyze and I knew I wouldn't be done until around 6 in the evening. The day was running smoothly and we were on schedule. Then it happened just as we were putting the last shift patients on the machines. The whole room shook and debris started falling from the ceiling, then the electricity went out for a moment before the generators kicked in. All the machines were alarming and the patients were panicked. You have to understand how vulnerable you are when you are hooked up to a dialysis machine. Each patient has two large bore metal needles stuck into their arms with at least 1 unit of blood out of their body in the tubes and the dialyzer. Each patient can't just get up and walk out. Most patients were wheelchair bound and immobile. Each nurse ran from machine to machine trying to manually pump their blood back into their bodies. But, we did not have the time, we need to cut and run. We then went and clamped each patient we could and attempted to get them into a safe place. The ceiling started falling in and crushed the patients and nurses on the north side of the room. I had lost more family and co-workers. The walls were literally tumbling down on top of me. The screaming was deafening. The panic in everyone's eyes was haunting. As I looked around I saw all the patients pleading and begging for me to help them, for me to save them. And I couldn't, there wasn't time to save each one. How can I save them all? How can I choose who to help first? Who was I to decide who lives and who dies? Everything was happening so fast and yet I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I am but one person; I already lost two nurses when the ceiling collapsed on the north side of the room. Occasionally I would get flashes in my mind of my family. Where were they, how were they? How can I be so selfish, I had patients depending on me for their lives? Why was I thinking of my family? I needed to focus. I immediately regained my composure and went over to another patient and began clamping his lines. I grabbed his wheelchair and began to lift him from the dialysis chair to the wheelchair, it was then everything went blank. I woke up several hours later on the cot I am currently laying on in a make shift hospital. It took me a few moments to realize where I was and also to realize I was not having a nightmare. THIS WAS REALLY HAPPENING!!! I was told by the staff the entire building had collapsed and the dialysis machine saved my life. The ceiling fell right where I was trying to transfer the patient, but the machine left space for me to fall without being crushed. I did have a mild concussion from the ceiling hitting me on the top of my head. The headache was nothing compared to the injuries I saw all around me. There were patients lying there with crushed and missing limbs. Moaning and pleading for me to help them once again. I needed to get out of here.

I rose from the cot to walk outside to see the crumbled city. I looked one block down to the apartment building I knew my family was in. It did not look good. As I walked the down I saw more death than I care to think about. When I approached the building I saw my neighbor, Laurent, sitting on the curb sobbing. I asked him if he was hurt, since he had a large amount of blood coming from the gash on his head. He shook his head no and then when he realized it was me asking him, he began to sob uncontrollably. This scared me and shocked me once again, as if I could be shocked anymore than I already was.

"Laurent, please tell me what is wrong, where is Jacob, Leah and Seth? Have you seen them?" I don't think I could get the words out fast enough.

"Oh, my Bella, it's gone, their all gone. The children didn't get out, I tried, I just tried." I could hardly understand the words, he was crying hard as he spoke.

It was then that I fell to my knees. I began to scream 'why' and sob. I was just kneeling there and the bile started to rise up. I proceeded to vomit violently, nothing was coming out. I just kept retching and wondering when this hell was going to end. How could this happen? I needed to see them, I needed to understand. I knew I never would.

"Where are they? I need to hold my babies!!! Help me find them, Laurent, please help me!!!" I practically screamed this request at him, but my voice was weak from the dry heaving.

He got up from the curb, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me to a row a dead people under white sheets. He spoke with one of the volunteers in French and let them know who I was. The gentleman then looked at me with sadness in his eyes and said, "Viens avec moi, Mam?"

So, I followed Laurent and the gentlemen. After walking about 15 feet he abruptly stopped and motioned to us that this was where my family was placed. Under the white sheets I saw two very small bodies and one large. A child's toes were sticking out from under one of the sheets. I knew immediately it was Seth. My baby was dead under that sheet, how is this possible?

Laurent grabbed a hold of me and held me up by hugging me tightly. My knees were ready to give out once more.

"Bella, do you want to see them? Let me help you."

We both knelt down slowly and lifted the sheet off of the large body. Lying there was my love, my life, Jacob. The one side of his face was covered in blood and his body was crushed from his chest down. He obviously died from internal injuries. I began to wipe his face with my sleeve and kiss his cold lips. I told him how much I loved him and that I thought he was in a better place. I asked him to watch and take care of Seth and Leah.

Then I moved to the next small body under the sheet, my beautiful Leah. She looked very peaceful. She had a small amount of blood dried at the corner of her mouth and no other obvious injuries. I checked to see if there was a pulse. As soon as I put my finger on her neck I knew I was not going to find one, she was already very cold.

"I am so sorry baby, I should have been there. I love you very much and I am going to miss you. You and Seth are my life and I can't picture a day without you. Please take care of daddy and watch out for your little brother. You guys all have each other now in a happier place." As I spoke these words I would rock her back and forth tightly in my arms. I was trying to control the sobs which would sometimes sneak out, but I needed her to see me be strong.

I moved down to my baby boy. I picked him up and looked at his angelic face and began to sob again. "Oh my baby, I miss you already. I hope you are not hurting anymore. Behave for your daddy and be nice to your sister. No teasing. I love you and I always will." Then I began to singing the same song I sang to him every night for the last four years of his life. The song is for Christmas. He knew this, but for some reason it always calmed him. "Silent Night, Holy Night. All is calm, all is bright. Round yon Virgin, mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace."

I put him back down and went through and kissed each member of my family again. I gave them one last 'I love you' and said goodbye. I covered them back up and left with Laurent to go back to the hospital to try and figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my destroyed life.

As I arrived back at the hospital, I practically walked right in to Dr. Cullen. He likes to be called Carlisle. He looked at me with such sympathy. He was surrogate father since Jacob and I have been here in Port-Au-Prince. My father is still alive, but I have not spoken to him in a while. Carlisle just took care of us when he was here. He would come for a month and leave for a month. He still had family living in a small town by Seattle, Washington. He treated my children as if they were his own grandchildren. I loved and respected him. I thanked God that he was still alive.

He grabbed me when I entered into a tight embrace. He told me he was glad to see me and how he feared the worst when he heard what happen to the dialysis clinic.

"Laurent, why don't you go over there and have your head looked at?" Laurent did as Carlisle said and went over to the triage nurse. I said a simple thank you as he walked away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He always spoke so caring and compassionate.

"They are gone, Carlisle. We have lost them all. They were crushed in the apartment. How am I going to live without them?" I spoke through sobs and tears. I was having a hard time catching my breath.

"We will come up with something. I am so sorry for your loss. Bella, I think you should go home to the states."

"I can't, I have nowhere to go." I was almost sobbing again.

"Why don't you go and be with my family? Esme would love to have you."

"I don't know? I don't know if I can leave them here. What about the funerals, what about everything?" I was so distraught and confused. There's no light at the end of this tunnel.

"Please just think about it. You can handle everything from there and I will make sure to get your family to you. Esme can help with all of the arrangements. Just think it over and let me know, I will set it all up."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. I mean Carlisle."

I went back to my cot and decided to try and sleep fat chance of that happening.

I just can't stop crying and I am drowning in my own sorrow. I just keep lying here on this cot not helping with anything. What am I supposed to do, how can I help when I don't think I should be here? Why didn't I just die with the rest of my family, I want to be with them?!!!

I am looking around and all I see is complete devastation. I know now it is time for me to decide what to do this life I was given. I am leaving this place tomorrow and I am going to Washington.