Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic...If I DID own the characters, I'd have Charlie all to myself! And Neil would still be alive...and Charlie would be mine...and Mr. Keating would still have his job...and Chet Danbury would have his but kicked by Knox...and it would have been Cameron that would have been expelled...and Charlie would be mine...and Todd would have a back bone...and did I mention Charlie would be mine? I did? Oh...Okay! Well then. It's settled. Charlie would be mine if I owned the characters.

HOWEVER...I have this affinity for Todd Anderson and decided to every once in a while write a drabble from his 'journal'. Of course they'll be short. I sort of think these would be the words he'd write if he kept a journal. Hope you all enjoy!
Ever go to the zoo and see the animals in their cages and wonder if they ever feel trapped? If maybe they look out at us and wonder why we're free and they're not? If maybe they feel trapped in a place they don't feel they belong or even want to be? Well…that's me. Trapped. Trapped in the shadow of the perfect older brother.

Maybe that's why I'm here…right where I don't want to be. I'm sure the animals at the zoo would much rather be somewhere they can move with no restrictions. Somewhere people aren't gawking and gazing on them every day.

The ceremony was as ceremonies go. Full of nothing but pomp and circumstance. I wasn't thinking of anything except how to break free from the chains.

Then…the end of the ceremony. "You've been away too long." Mr. Nolan shook my dad's hand.

"This is Todd, our youngest." My mom politely said. I could hear it in her voice. What she really meant to say was This is Todd, our disappointment.

"You have some big shoes to fill, Mr. Anderson." Mr. Nolan, I guess, was trying to be nice, but all it did was make me sink back inside myself, knowing that I could…can…never compare with Jeffery.

Trapped. Trapped in a cage called Welton that I could never break free of.

Then, I met my new roommate, Neil Perry. He asked why I left Balincrest. When I replied "My brother went here.", his remark was "So, you're that Anderson!"

So much for being my own person.

They knew him. All of them. My new roommate at Welton and all his friends know Jeffery. I'm trapped in his shadow once again. Of course I should have known I'd never truly break free of it. The circle continues. The chain stays firmly around my feet.

Oh, they may never say it, but they'll see me only as Jeffery Anderson's younger brother. The one not good enough for anything. The shy kid with no backbone.

Do people see the animals in the zoo that way? Do we bother to ask the giraffe if he wants to be caged up? Do we ask the gorilla if this is what he wants? Or do we simply state to them that this is how it is. Learn to cope. Say nothing. Just smile and wave to the viewers.

As my new and fellow students left, I only had one fear:

But, if they know him…Jesus! What of the teachers? Will they hold me to Jeffery's standards?

Trapped. That's what I am.