Chapter 1: 25 Times April and Andy Were Bad Roommates Explores what it was like for Ben to be roommates with Andy and April in all of it's strange, scary, gross, and fun ways through random, not in order, events.

Chapter 2: Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole on the Case Explores how April and Andy found out and confronted Ben and Leslie about their secret relationship.

Chapter 3: The Breakup Blues and The Friends That Get You Through Explores how April and Andy found out Ben and Leslie broke up and how they comforted their roommate in their own special way.

Chapter 4: Times Are Changing Explores Ben discussing moving out with April and Andy.

Chapter 5: The Last Night as Roomies Explores their last night living together and how they commemorate the event.

Chapter 1

25 Times April and Andy Were Bad Roommates

1 "Beeeeeeeen," Andy sing songed as he opened the bathroom door and pulled the shower curtain.

"Andy!" Ben exclaimed trying to snatch the shower curtain back.

"Dude you don't just walk into the bathroom and open the shower curtain when your roommate is in the shower."

"Oh, okay."

"So question, can you show me which button I use on the tv remote to adjust the picture?"

"I'll show you when I get out."

"But can't you show me now?"

"No, I will show you when I get out of the shower."

2 "Ahhhhh, oh my god!" both Leslie and Ben exclaimed startled.

"Is that the smoke detector?" Leslie shrieked as she and Ben, turning his head looked towards the closed door.

"Beeeeeeen," rang through the air as Andy called for his roommate.

"Coming," Ben shouted back as he extricated himself from Leslie's embrace and hurriedly gathered his clothes and tossed Leslie her own.

"It smells like something is burning."

"This is like the worst possible time for this to happen," Ben voiced pulling his shirt over his head.

"Where's my underwear?" Leslie asked through the shrill beeps the fire alarm made as she riffled through the sheets until she found them.

Ben walked to the door as Leslie shrugged on her pants and they both took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door.

Andy stood with a smoking tray of French fries in one hand as he swatted the smoke billowing out of the oven with his other hand.

"Oops, I forgot had fries in the oven. They're all burnt now."

3 "Hey, you wanna play xbox with me?" Andy enthusiastically shouted.

"No. It's two in the morning and I was sleeping until you woke me up," Ben explained."

"Okay man. Sorry I wasn't sure if you were sleeping or not."

"Andy, it is two in the morning. My door is shut. My lights are off. I am in bed."

"Oh yeah. It does look like you were sleeping."

"It's two in the morning on a weekday. You should be sleeping as well. You have work in the morning."

"Oh yeah."

4 Ben blinked his eyes open and rolled over to his back. He heard a creek and felt like he was being watched. His eyes averted to his bedroom door. Out of the darkness he saw a shadow and sat up quickly. The shadow was gone.

"The darkness is just playing tricks on me," Ben thought to himself.

"It was nothing," he thought, "Though it did kinda look like April and I closed my door when I went to bed so why is it open now?"

5 "So this can go with lights, right? April asked.

"No. That's bright red," Ben groaned.

"This can go with darks?"

"No, that's white."

Ben knew April was just trying to frustrate him so that he would just do their laundry for them.

He was very annoyed right now but knew what they were up too and would not give into his frustration and do April and Andy's laundry himself.

"I'm just so bad at laundry," April whined.

"You'll get the hang of it. All you need is eye sight to sort your colors and your eyesight is fine."

April just rolled her eyes.

6 It was after nine and Ben sat in his bed reading, well trying to read as it was hard to concentrate as April was loudly playing music.

"This sounds awful. It's like reggae but German sounding. That's not a thing. It can't be a thing. I am so buying really good head phones tomorrow," Ben thought to himself.

7 "Ben…Beeeeeeeeeen…Beeeeeeeeeeeen," Andy said as he poked Ben in the shoulder.

"What?" Ben groaned as he woke up.

"I don't feel good."

"Ok, why did you wake me up to tell me this?"

"Cause I don't feel good. I need some medicine."

"Then get some medicine."

"But I'm sick."

"You were well enough to walk in here."

"But I need help."

"Have April help you." "She doesn't feel good either."

"Ben. Ben. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeen."

"Okay, okay I'm up," Ben said getting out of bed.

"What hurts?"

"I keep getting hot and then cold. I'm all sweaty but I'm always sweating. My stomach really hurts."

Ben got April and Andy some medicine, a wet wash rag for their foreheads, and a trashcan in case they needed to throw up.

He had known going into this living arrangement that Andy and April were widely immature. However, he had no idea that he would feel as though he were a single parent to toddlers.

He also really needed to get a new door knob because they lock didn't work.

8 "Boo," April whispered harshly and then walked backwards out of the room.

Ben blinked coming out of his half asleep self and sat up straight in bed.

"Was April just standing over me?" Ben wondered to himself.

9 "Are you wearing my shirt?" Ben questioned as he looked at April.

"Yeah, I had to borrow something. My clothes are dirty."

"So you didn't ask me and went into my room to steal my clothes."

"No, I'm borrowing your shirt. I'm gonna give it back," April said as she rolled her eyes.

"You don't see the problem? Borrowing something means you ask for permission. Stealing something occurs when you take without asking."

"But we're roomies Ben," April said with false enthusiasm, "Are you just upset because you're the same size as a young woman?"

As Ben searched for words to use in his rebuttal Andy entered the room clad in one of Ben's shirts. The shirt looked like a tube top because Andy was so much larger than Ben.

"Good lord," Ben muttered upon seeing Andy. _

10 Ben scrambled in the dark to look at his cell phone.

"11:45 a.m. January 9th and April is playing Halloween music…it's sounds more like sound effects…..from the 1950s," Ben thought to himself as he put on his noise canceling head phones.

11 "Hey, do you guys want to go get ice cream with me and April?" Andy shouted through the closed and locked bedroom door.

"Uh, no. No thank you," Ben responded before Leslie shifted moving one hand to smack Ben in the chest.

"What?"

"I would never say no to ice cream," Leslie whispered from her spot above Ben.

"Two minutes ago you said if you didn't get sex right away you'd burst."

"Well, yeah. You were so sexy negotiating for that campaign event. I just had to have you right away. And now babe we need to do this fast cause I want ice cream right away!" Leslie explained.

"Tell them we're getting ice cream with them."

"No you tell them."

Leslie rolled her eyes, "Guys, wait for us,…..we're just finishing up a piece of paperwork it'll just be like…..,"

"Five minutes."

"Two minutes," Leslie hollered, "You know I'm always a fan of hard and fast so let's get to it!"

12 "Booooo," April and Andy screamed as they jumped out of Ben's closet.

Ben screamed and picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a pillow, to protect himself.

After seeing his enemy was just April and Andy he dropped the pillow as his hands dropped to his knees as he slumped over as adrenaline pumped through his body.

"You really think a pillow would protect you from danger Ben," April scoffed.

"Ahhhh, Ben wanted to have a pillow fight honey, that's why he picked up the pillow," Andy said as he smiled his big goofy smile and picked up a pillow and began clobbering Ben with it. April rolled her eyes but joined in nonetheless as Ben protested.

13 "I'm so hungry," April moaned.

"Me too," Andy complained.

They had both been moaning about how hungry they were for the last hour.

Ben had worked late and then had come home and just fixed himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

As he sat at the kitchen table eating his sandwich and skimming the latest issue of Accounting Monthly Andy and April were laying on the living room floor complaining about how hungry they were. Ben knew they just wanted him to fix them something to eat. He was resisting as they would never fix him something to eat.

"Instead of complaining about it why don't you guys get something to eat."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh," the couple groaned.

After finishing his sandwich Ben put his plate in the dishwasher and returned to his room.

After sitting at his desk to check his email he was startled by April and Andy barging into his room and throwing their bodies on his bed.

"Um hello. What are you doing?"

"Oh my god, what?" April said rolling her eyes.

"Why are you here, you came in without knocking, and are laying on my bed?"

"The floor is hard. Your bed is soft."

"There is a couch and you have your own bed in your own room."

"We sleep on a futon."

"So, what's your point?" April groaned.

"My point is that you don't just barge into your roommate's bedroom and lay on their bed."

"Why are you so concerned with your privacy Ben? What gross things are you planning on doing in here besides emailing your mother?" April said accusingly after craning her neck to see what Ben was doing on his computer.

"Listen, it's okay. We're not just roommates. We're also friends so it's cool," Andy explained with a smile. "Also this is a common space and you can come and hang out in our room anytime."

"No, that's not how it works."

Ben didn't know what else to say so he just sighed and went back to returning an email to his mom.

Only a few seconds later April and Andy returned to their groaning and complaining about being hungry.

"Oh my god," Ben exclaimed, "Go get something to eat or go to a restaurant."

"But we're too hungry to move," Andy said.

"Well, you weren't too hungry to move when you came into my room."

Ben held out for about twenty more minutes.

"Okay, how about I fix you a sandwich?" Ben relented.

"That is so nice of you Ben. April isn't that nice of Ben?"

A few minutes later April and Andy sat at the kitchen table scarfing down the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Ben had made and cut into triangles for them. He refused to cut off the crust. They were adults they could eat the crust or eat around it.

"Ben, this is delicious. On the next one can I get the strawberry jelly?" Andy said with a smile.

"On the next one?" with annoyance laced in his words.

"Yeah. I'm probably going to eat like twelve more."

"I will fix you one more then you are on your own."

14 "April, you will not believe what I just saw. I went into Ben's room to get some more of his tshirts to use as band t shirts to sell. I figured Ben was asleep because it looked like the lights were off and it's late so I used that key you got from the landlord for Ben's bedroom door and I let myself in. I walked into his room and him and Leslie are in there doin it!" Andy laughed.

"Eww, gross. Why are you telling me this?"

"Cause Ben's a nerd but he must be real good at sex cause Leslie seems to be enjoying herself."

"Ewwwwww. I don't want to know the details."

"They didn't even notice I went in there. They were both super into it," Andy laughed.

"La la la la," April shouted covering her ears as she ran outside into the dark night.

15 A scream rang through the air.

"Oh my god."

"What?" April asked with her classic eerily calm stare.

"What are you doing?" Ben asked.

"Nothing."

"You're standing over me in the dark."

"So."

"So, well that's…that's unnecessary. Okay. It's just it's weird and creepy and why?" Ben said breathing hard.

After a silent beat April started walking to the door stopping to turn around and said, "Well, good night. Sleep tight Ben," April then raised her eyebrow, narrowed her eyes, and blew a kiss and then reached out her hand to snatch it back.

16 "Where's the rest of the food?" Ben inquired.

"It was so good Ben. I ate all of it," Andy responded.

"You ate all of it. That was my portion on the stove."

"Oops, I just thought it was left over."

"Why did you think I wouldn't be eating a meal that I cooked?"

"Well, you said that you were cooking us a meal today because we eat terribly and you wanted to make sure we got some nutrients once in a while."

"Here I have one bite left on my fork," Andy offered Ben extending his fork to Ben.

"Nah, it's okay. At least you guys got some real food. I'll just go grab something," Ben mumbled.

April had never even looked up from her plate.

"I only went outside to take out the trash and I got stuck talking to the neighbor for no more than 5 minutes and they ate all of the food," Ben thought to himself.

17 "You were really great giving that speech today," Ben said in between kisses.

"You were really great too. Dealing with Jenn and speaking with Kernsten about endorsing me," Leslie said in between kisses and pausing to take her shirt off from her place in Ben's lap.

"You're such a sexy campaign manager."

"You're such a….sexy candidate," Ben replied leaning in to kiss her neck as he unhooked her bra.

Just as Leslie shucked her bra off and kissed her campaign manager hard on the lips a loud bang reverberated against the wall and Andy and April's voices, giggles, and yes moans began to rang through the air.

"Eww, um," Ben and Leslie groaned their faces bunched up in disgust.

"I can't now…".

"I can't with them…."

"Too weird," they both said at the same time.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"We can do it later."

"When we've gotten this experience out of our minds after we've gotten hypnosis," Ben suggested.

Little did Ben and Leslie know that they were being set up.

April had seen the way that Leslie had looked at Ben earlier that day. She knew what Leslie would want and it grossed her out. She knew the couple was too uptight to have sex if they knew her and Andy were. Ben and Leslie doing it grossed her out and she wasn't going to let it happen if she could help it. Also Ben had ate the last muffin so April didn't want him to be happy right now. They were really good muffins.

18 "Hey, Ben come find me and April!"

"I don't want to play with Ben. He can find someone else to play with, like a nerd," April deadpanned.

"I don't want to play hide and seek with you guys. I'm doing paperwork and I'm an adult as are you both."

"Just come find us one time! I'm gonna hide. April go!"

"Beeeeeeeeeen. Come find meeeeeee!" Andy laughed.

"You're behind the couch," Ben shouted, "I can hear you."

"You're really good at this Ben!"

Ben just rolled his eyes.

19 Ben had spent a quiet evening on the couch rewatching some Star Trek. Andy and April had been at a Mouse Rat gig. It was after eleven and Ben was just straightening up and turning off the lights when April and Andy got home.

"Oh, hey guys. How did the gig go?"

"Well, it went great! The pay was awesome. We ate at Sizzler afterwards. Hey, guys I want you to meet my roomie Ben," Andy said as two guys and one girl, that looked like a witch, walked around the corner into view.

"This is Ben. Ben this is…. What are your names?"

"Steve." "Slater." "Gwenivere."

"Oh, hello. How do you all know Andy and April?" Ben said suspiciously.

"We met a Sizzler. We invited them back to play xbox," Andy smiled.

"Oh, cool. Nothing weird about inviting strangers to our home."

"Yeah,"Andy grinned widely.

April walked out of the bathroom as Ben started walking towards his room, "I'm gonna go to my room," Ben stated.

"Dude you can stay and play with us."

"No, it's cool."

"Gwenievere, I want to show you my collection of old wasp nests," Ben heard April say before he went into his room, locked his door, and put a chair against the door knob.

20 "Ben, can you take Champion outside! I think he needs to pee. I can't take him out April and I are in the middle of sex. Just open the door to get Champion but don't look," Andy shouted through the wall.

"Ew, no," Ben shouted back wishing he were anywhere else right now.

"Andy, no. Ben don't come in here," April shouted.

"I wasn't going too," Ben responded as he put on his noise canceling head phones and paced his room trying to find something to distract himself.

21 "Ahh, tell Andy that I don't want to go camping with his brother's family this weekend and I don't want him to go without me. I want him to stay home so we can spend the weekend together, here, in air conditioning. Without other people, except for you because you never go anywhere because you don't have a life," April spat out.

"Tell April that we're always saying no to going camping with my family because she never wants too. It's okay if she doesn't want to go, though it sucks. But I could still go because henceforth it's a family thing," Andy said his voice laced with annoyance.

"Ben!" the couple shouted moving to sit on each side of Ben from his place on the couch.

"I think you both just heard what the other one said so I don't need to repeat or play Dr. Phil. Good luck," Ben said getting up and going into his bedroom shutting the door.

"Ben, talk to Andy!" April whined after slinging the door open and diving onto his bed.

A startled Ben wished he had locked the door.

"Ben, explain things to April," Andy whined plopping himself down on Ben's bed.

"Oh my god."

"Why are you so selfish, Ben? Help us with our problem," April deadpanned.

Ben groaned from his computer chair.

"Andy, April says she doesn't want to go. April, Andy says you never want to go to these things and they're family things so you should make more of an effort to suck it up and go. If April does so Andy you should realize and tell her and show her that you appreciate her doing so. Maybe you could compromise and go for the day but drive back home at night. I don't know."

"Fine," April huffed as the couple moved to sit beside each other.

"How about we go Saturday and spend the night but leave Sunday morning so we can spend the rest of the day back home in air conditioning?" April offered.

"That sounds great honey," Andy said leaning in to kiss his wife.

The couple then began to make out with each other on Ben's bed with Ben three feet away.

"Guys! Guys. Break it up!" Ben shouted.

The couple kept going. Ben leapt up from his seat and tried to shove Andy and smack him in the arm. It did not work. They then began to grope each other. Ben looked away as he moved to April's side tapping her on the back protesting the making up on his bed. April continued making out with Andy and used her hand to swat at Ben. He grabbed her arm and began pulling extricating her from Andy until the two separated.

"Okay, okay," the couple said as they got the message and left Ben's bedroom.

Unbeknownst to Ben the couple went into their bedroom letting out laughter they had been holding in and exchanging a high five. They planned the fight and the making up just to make Ben uncomfortable.

22 "Hey, do you guys want to play hide and go seek? Cause we have four people. We can do two people on each team, um yeah, two people on each team!" Andy asked through the door after knocking loudly seven times.

"Um, no thank you. It's late. We're sleeping, just sleeping or were until you knocked so good night," Ben stuttered.

"Dude, it's like nine thirty!" Andy said causing Ben to look at Leslie in disbelieve as she looked down at him from her place above him with her forehead crinkled up in frustration.

"Good night Andy," Leslie offered.

"Okay, good night." Andy said walking away from the door but he forgot he no longer had to shout through a door and did nothing in attempt to lower his voice.

"They don't want to play. Said they were sleeping but it's early even for them. I bet their having sex!"

"Eww, Andy," April shouted.

23 "I know with the campaign being headquartered here and I've been spending the night a lot if you get sick of seeing me here or it's too much of a burden just let me know. I won't be offended or anything," Leslie said as she stirred the pancake batter.

"It's cool so far as long as you make us breakfast and stuff," April said, "You make us breakfast way more often than Ben does."

"Yeah, and having four people here could really be fun. More people to play games with! We can play hide and seek!"

"Andy, no that's uncooked pancake batter," Leslie said after she turned around and saw that Andy was guzzling the batter.

"I'll see if I can scrounge up something else to make."

24 "So I'm gonna go out for a bit."

"We are you going?"

"The movie theatre, that art house one. They're playing a sci fi movie."

"Which one?"

Ben began to sweat at the interrogation.

"2000 A Space Odyssey." It was true. They were playing that movie in case April checked his alibi.

"Maybe I'll go with you."

"Oh, I don't think you'd be interested in it."

"What's it about?"

"It's about…." Ben began to explain only to be interrupted by April, "Sounds boring. Stop talking."

"Okay, good night."

"Wait, I want to go."

"Okay."

"No. I don't want to go."

"Okay."

"Kidding I want to go."

"I'm confused."

"God, Ben stop trying to get me to go see a boring movie with you."

Ben, flustered and confused, slowly walked out the door as April stared after him.

Ben was really going to see Leslie. They were secretly dating. April was pretty sure the two were secretly dating. She didn't know for sure. But she had her suspicion. She enjoyed using those suspicions to make Ben uncomfortable.

25 "Guys, this is the second time I've told you. Do not use my comforter for your forts," Ben said exasperated.

"Okay. Okay," Ben said with urgency when there was no response.

"We're in a fort in the dark dangerous rainforest we can't hear you," April replied.

Ben sighed and got down on his knees at the opening of the fort and poked his head in, "Do not use my comforter for you forts. In fact, do not go into my room without permission. It is my room. I don't go into your room. I expect you to do the same. Okay."

"Okay," April and Andy agreed with a salute.

Ben then stood and took his comforter with him.

"Dude, why did you just take your comforter? That was part of our fort," Andy exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to be using it. We just talked about it."

"Yeah, but you could wait until we're done using it for the day and then we won't use it again," Andy explained.

"No."

Andy pouted.

"Pretend your fort has a sun roof," Ben suggested and then retreated to his room.

"That's actually a cool idea babe," Andy said.

"Yeah, but now we don't have a roof on our fort to cover us if we have sex," April commented.

"It was very rude of him to take it away. Next time I vote we don't use his comforter as a roof. We lay it down and have sex on it," April smirked.

Andy just laughed in agreement.