Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I originally wrote this for a forum that no longer exists called "A Demon's Desire" back in 2009. This one-shot was intended to be the beginning of a novel length story. I never finished it, although I might still do so one day. For now the status is set as "complete."
In the spirit of fanfiction, you are free to borrow any original characters, techniques or plot devices from any of my stories. Hopefully you will have the decency to acknowledge me if you do, but I won't hold you to it. I do not, however, give any permission to lift sentences verbatim.
Rating: This story is rated M entirely because our dear Fire Lord happens to be a sex-obsessed pig.
Naruto: Hokage
Chapter 1
The Fire Lord flapped away at his fan with a heavy sigh. 'I really should get someone else to do this for me,' he thought – and then with a dirty leer he added to himself – 'a beautiful woman. Naked, of course.'
Really, all these "emergency council meetings" with Konoha were a nuisance. He couldn't remember the last one, but he did recall being interrupted while teaching a noblewoman a few tricks between the bed sheets. Even the nobles had obligations. It was his prerogative to make sure those obligations were fulfilled.
"We plan to continue working…" Yadda yadda. The old coot Homura droned on with his pro-village rhetoric. And the Fire Lord was supposed to care? Sometimes he wondered why he bothered with these pretenses.
"After what's happened to the village, the Land of Fire will put every effort…" Ah, he knew there was a reason why he hired people like Eikichi. Some pesky nobles wanted his money. Some pesky nobles wanted the people to prosper, his coffers be damned. But some pesky nobles could be hired to take care of matters for him – provided he paid enough attention to be sure of their loyalties.
"There's something else to consider first." Yes, there always is. "Who will be the next Hokage."
The Fire Lord turned toward the gimp man. Danzou rarely spoke at meetings and the Daimyo was unsure of whether he liked the man; the man was rather frightening, the type of man who always seems to be cooked up in some sinister plot, the type of man who is only at home during war.
Danzou seemed very much against Tsunade on many accounts and while the Daimyo had no illusions regarding his lack of ability to get the big breasted babe into his bedroom – let alone his bedding – she was quite something to look at and a skilled ninja too. That had to count for something. No, he'd like to keep the big breasted babe if he could. "Can we not wait until Tsunade has recovered?"
The old bag – 'Really,' the Fire Lord thought, 'kunoichi should stay pretty regardless of their age' – answered him. "My lord, Tsunade is still in a coma. We cannot decide on a plan for the village for the village when we do not know when she will awaken."
'Indeed,' the Daimyo thought. "I'd thought to choose Jiraiya," he did not add that he believed Jiraiya to be a man of his own heart, "but he's gone now. So, who shall it be…?" He left the question hanging there, almost hoping nobody would answer. He'd miss the big breasted babe.
"Well—" whatever overtures that scary man Danzou planned to make were cut-off.
"I nominate Hatake Kakashi." The bold words of the genius strategist Shikaku were perfectly reasonable. Kakashi – another man after his own heart!
Of course, he couldn't just say that. "The son of the White fang, eh? Yes, why not?" He turned to his advisors; hopefully they would push this through. "What do you all think?"
His yes-men did not fail. Well, there was one idiot who questioned Kakashi's age – an idiot who now had a strike against his name – but a good man reminded everyone that Namikaze Minato had been even younger when he became Hokage.
"Who was his teacher?" Oh, but of course politics would play into it. Eikichi had that base covered, it seemed.
"The Fourth Hokage," Homura informed everyone. Excellent. Just excellent.
"The Fourth Hokage was Jiraiya's pupil and Jiraiya was the pupil of the Third Hokage." He did not remind everyone how much he missed Jiraiya. "There's no problem then—"
Danzou's voice, laced with a frightening energy, interrupted him. "The Third Hokage's teachings have as good as destroyed this village! Akatsuki's leader, the man who destroyed the village, was once Jiraiya's pupil. This is the result of sympathizing with other villages! That weakness led to Suna's betrayal and allowed Orochimaru's plan to destroy Konoha! It led to the formation of Akatsuki and to Sasuke, the last remaining Uchiha, leaving Konoha for his own secret purposes!"
He did not like the man, but he had some good points. A lot of bad things had happened since the Kyuubi attacked sixteen years ago. A lot of those bad things that could be traced back to the Third's rule…
"What kind of Hokage do we need now?! One who could put an end to this wretched situation! One who can bring change to the ninja world and reinforce the laws that govern us! That man is me!"
One of his yes-men turned to him. "Maybe we should let—"
"Where were you when the village was attacked?" The Daimyo looked straight at Shikaku. What was this?
"Excuse me?" Danzou glowered at Shikaku.
"Just what were you doing while everyone was dying?"
"Where was I?" Danzou's response was ferocious. "I was organizing a counter measure. I was calling back our troops. Why did Tsunade allow our messenger birds to fly off? She failed to prioritize because she rushed off without a plan."
Shikaku stood up angrily. "Tsunade saved many lives. What about you? By the time you had your counter measures worked out, the village was a ruin! The Hokage has to protect the village with his life if necessary. Instead we all had to rely on Naruto—"
"A boy who should not even have been present! What would happen if Akatsuki gained the Kyuubi? It is a miracle that the Legendary Sucker's reckless gamble with the boy turned out so well!"
The Daimyo cleared his throat as loudly as he could. Great, now his throat itched, but he needed to bring an end to this feud before his meeting degenerated further. And he had something he wanted to find out. "Who is this boy Naruto?"
"A student of Hatake Kakashi," Homura commented, "Later trained by Jiraiya." Jiraiya again! "He is the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Youko. He is also the one that the Akatsuki leader came to the village hoping to capture. He defeated the Akatsuki leader and then talked the man into using the rest of his power to give back the souls he had taken."
The Fire Lord snapped his fan shut. Give back souls? He would never understand ninja. Did people die or didn't they?
"Tsunade put her trust in him," Koharu added as an afterthought. "The boy was gifted with the Shodaime's necklace." Trusted indeed!
The scary man, Danzou, was now standing there stupidly with his mouth agape. "Are you seriously considering—"
Oh no, he was interested in this boy now. He'd rather not rely on the war-hawk if he could avoid it. "Who are the boy's parents?"
"The boy is an orphan," Homura commented. Damn, what a letdown. "But I am obliged to say that his father was the Fourth Hokage." SCORE!
The Fire Lord smashed his fist as hard as possible on the table. God damn that hurt! He needed a gavel or something. "It is decided. This boy Naruto will be Hokage. There will be no complaints. I will trust the advisors to point the boy in the right direction when necessary. This meeting is adjourned."
That scary man still had his mouth agape.
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"He is hard headed and impossible to deal with," he told her.
"It will be like dealing with another Tsunade," she replied, "perhaps worse even."
"But he is the strongest in the village now. He defeated Pain."
"As Tsunade believed he could," the woman reminded herself as much as him. "He has grown beyond our expectations. Perhaps he has even surpassed his father."
"We've grown old," he said.
They always talked like this. It was as if they were of one mind, a result of having known each other for close to seventy years. Hiruzen had always been the odd one out, the favorite of their sensei, Senju Tobirama, later appointed Nidaime. And while the Senju brothers groomed Hiruzen to one day take the reins and guide the village into a new era, they, the forgotten teammates were off cavorting and gallivanting, learning more about each other than they knew about themselves, both in mind and body.
But they weren't young anymore. Their misspent youth ended long ago when Tobirama-sensei fell in battle.
"He has the right pedigree," Homura commented. Not that pedigree meant much to either of them, but the nobility obsessed on it.
"Both as a student and as a son," Koharu added.
They were silent again, mulling over their thoughts. Likely the same thoughts. These little comments were only half the conversation; the other half did not pass between them because it didn't need to.
"We can keep him in the village," Koharu finally said.
"And get him to drop his obsession with the last Uchiha. It is unhealthy. As a shinobi, as a jinchuuriki, and as a leader, it is an obsession that may yet compromise him." Homura seemed particularly pensive about that.
"He will be busy rebuilding the village in the mean time," Koharu replied, a tad uncertain of this new development. "So long as the Uchiha doesn't do anything to stand out Naruto won't have time for him. Not until he has matured fully into the role."
"Then you think we can shape him?" It was a rhetorical question. It went unanswered. They both knew they could. They both knew they couldn't. What they could do is what they would do – teach Naruto politics. The world would take care of the rest.
They returned to silence for a while as they walked through the wreckage of the village. Many of those buildings had stood since the time of the Shodai, surviving the Kyuubi attack and three particularly nasty wars. Pain did what whole armies could not, what even demons could not.
They remembered the same things: playing together as small children on the streets, playing as teenagers in the back alleys, fighting as adults on the rooftops…
They were old. Perhaps Tsunade was right; perhaps it really was time to pass the mantle.
The pair came to a tent with two ANBU sentries posted. Neither sentry said anything as the elder pair passed; the ANBU just stood there attentively like good soldiers.
An ANBU was waiting inside. "Honored elders…"
"Please bring Uzumaki Naruto here," Homura asked the masked-nin. The ANBU bowed and then departed quickly.
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Naruto was helping repair the damages Pain inflicted when a masked ANBU dropped down in front of him. His ninja-senses kicked in long before the man's feet touched the ground, but he took no action.
"Uzumaki Naruto," the ANBU addressed. Naruto answered in the affirmative, entirely unsure of what was going on. The ANBU was polite enough to allow Naruto to speak, but Naruto knew the man knew who he was. "Your presence is required for a matter that relates to village security."
"Show me where I need to go." There was no hesitation. He would protect his village against any threat.
The ANBU nodded once and took off with Naruto hot on his heels. He knew that Kakashi and Sakura were chasing after him, probably a bit peeved that he just took off. The ANBU surely knew they were following as well but never said anything. It took Naruto a moment to realize they were heading towards the center of the village and by then Kakashi had already caught up and gave Naruto a smile that revealed his annoyance.
And then they were there. The group came to a halt in front of a tent that had two ANBU sentries posted. "Inside," the ANBU who led them directed. Neither sentry commented as they passed, like a pair of Koma-inu on the watch. Creepy.
The lead ANBU pushed open the flap and held it for Naruto and his teammates. Inside the tent were a wrinkled old man and a wrinkled old woman. Definitely older than Baa-chan. Naruto scratched his head a little embarrassed to admit it, but, "Where's the security problem?"
The old geezers seemed surprised. The baa-chan's eyes actually opened a little bit – Naruto could have sworn up until moments ago that they were glued shut; secretly he was relieved that they weren't since he vaguely remembered trying something like that once as a prank. Just to be sure, Naruto took a good hard look at the woman. She looked familiar. And then he looked at the man. He was also familiar. Curious.
And then he realized who he was dealing with. "AH! You're Sandaime-jiji's teammates aren't you?" He vaguely remembered that the old geezer used them as advisors. "Ah, uhm, so is there a mission I'm needed for?"
The two old geezers traded glances. Something passed between them, but Naruto would be damned if he knew what. It was the man who spoke. "In a sense."
It was the woman who shook his world. "You have been appointed as Hokage."
A pin could have dropped. Sakura and Kakashi were absolutely still. Naruto was quite sure his heart skipped a beat. It took more than just a second for Naruto's brain to finally process what was said. When it finally did, when his brain finally started working again, his voice could be heard throughout the village. "E-EH?!"
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She didn't expect this. 'What a disaster,' Samui thought. Not that she minded if a rival village bit the dust, but Konoha? Of all the villages, Konoha? As far as she knew, only a Biju could cause this level of destruction.
Clearly, something had stopped the rampaging monster that had so evidently caused all of this, but not before the entire village was reduced to a pile of rubble inside a massive crater. Interestingly, she saw no bodies. The village was completely flattened, but nobody was dead. At least not that she could tell.
She led her team into the pile of rubble unescorted. They were not trying to hide their presences, although Karui was squirming a bit as if she seriously thought that rock she threw earlier could have done all this. She was tempted to inform her teammate that the joke was being carried too far but she was more interested in finding someone who could direct her to the Hokage. From the top of the crater Samui had seen many people milling about but her team had yet to meet any and she was quite sure that she was alert enough to know that she was not being secretly followed by anyone.
Well, it didn't really matter. She had a job to do. She would avenge Killer Bee.
There! A chuunin was sifting through some debris. He must have been rather preoccupied to not have realized yet that three jounin from a rival village were so very close. Either that or he was expecting friends. "You!"
The man tensed. He heard a voice he wasn't expecting but he didn't jump; he knew they were there but wasn't expecting them to be unfriendlies. He stood up slowly and deliberately. Good, someone reasonably professional, someone who could probably help her. He turned to face her and she stepped forward in a deliberate, unthreatening motion. She spoke her mind: "There are no guards posted and the village is in ruins. What the hell happened?"
"It was Akatsuki. We'll soon be on alert and strengthening our guard." She did not miss the point of that last remark.
She could hear Karui sigh in relief behind her. Thunder and lightning, what a dim light bulb! Samui pointedly ignored it. "Anyway, I need an audience with the Hokage. I have a letter for her from the Raikage."
The Konoha chuunin stood straighter and gave her a nod. "Follow me." He began leading her towards the center of the… crater.
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Sakura did not like this. Oh no, she definitely did not like this. Without even thinking, her hand shot out and grabbed Naruto's shoulder. She used it to pull herself past him, not in the least bit conscious of how rough she was being. "Tsunade-shishou… she's not…"
There was only one reason why Tsunade would be deposed as Hokage. Only one reason and it was very, very bad. Tsunade was strong and brave and beautiful. She was well-liked and she had the right pedigree, both by blood and through mentorship. And so Sakura could only conclude that her mentor was dead.
Naruto's shoulder was going to bruise. He was enough of a sport not to cry out. Or maybe he was still in shell shock.
The elder lady Koharu informed Sakura of the Council's decision. "We do not know when Tsunade will recover. We need a plan for the village and a Hokage to lead it. Tsunade cannot do this while in a coma."
Sakura's fist on her free hand tightened. She had never felt like this before; she had never before felt such a strong desire to hit something. Not "play hit" like she would do with Naruto, but really hit. Smash into pieces and leave behind as dust on the floor. And with the powers her mentor had given her she really could do that to just about anything; her mentor who now lay broken, her mentor who was now deposed. Unacceptable. This was completely unacceptable. She wanted Naruto to achieve his dream. She wanted to see him don that big old hat. And Tsunade was supposed to be the one to stick it on his head.
He was not ready to lead. Naruto was now the most powerful shinobi she knew. He probably always was the most trustworthy shinobi she knew and he was now the most dependable. But leading was different. Leading took knowledge and experience; experience that her mentor, Tsunade, could impart onto Naruto as an advisor. That's how it was supposed to be. Not this. Not like this.
She voiced her opinion. "I… I am against this. You can't—you can't just elect a new Hokage behind Tsunade-shishou's back!"
"Tsunade is indisposed," Koharu reminded her. "We have done nothing behind her back."
"But you can't—"
"We can and we did," the elder Homura cut her off.
This was not fair. This was not right. She turned to her only pillar of support and buried her face in his chest. "Naruto… tell them… please…"
At some level, she knew she was being unreasonable, that she was forcing his hand. The wet stain she was making as she cried into his chest would weigh on his conscious like a lead weight. She could not help it; the stress of everything had grown to be too much to bear. Naruto and Kakashi had inner strength forged through years of hardships but until now, her only hardships were the loss of Sasuke and the guilt she felt for having Naruto make that promise to bring Sasuke back. But Naruto was always there, her pillar of support as a friend and possibly more. It was wrong to manipulate him. It was not her intention, but the result was the same.
Any elation Naruto might have felt, the return of those feelings of acceptance that he had so desperately sought for so many years, those feelings that had emerged when he was greeted as a hero, was bit back hard. "I can't accept this," he said. "Obaa-chan is still Hokage."
She cried harder. Why? Why did he always have to do this? He should be happy. He should accept the post, regardless of what she said.
"Tsunade is indisposed," the elder Homura repeated. "If you will not accept the position of Hokage then we will pass over you to our next choice."
Before his students could emote any further, Kakashi stepped in. Sakura hated him for it even knowing that he was right. "Oh, well who is your next choice?"
"Danzou."
She felt Naruto stiffen as soon as that name was spoken. Katsuya told everyone more or less what happened between Naruto and Pain, but Sakura was not given the conversation verbatim. She did not know what Naruto knew about the man other than his role in Sai's training and the effort to kill Sasuke.
"Well you know," Kakashi casually addressed his students, "the jounin haven't voted yet. The position is only temporary. This will be good practice for when you get appointed Hokage for real, Naruto."
Kakashi was good, Sakura knew, but he stunned her so thoroughly that she was no longer crying. He made her feel better. And she suspected that his comments really were directed more at Naruto than at her, though with ninja you could never tell; underneath the underneath indeed.
Naruto's hand went behind his head in a patented motion. "Oh, well why didn't you just say so? Yeah, I'll keep the seat warm for Baa-chan and then I'll make her give me the hat fair and square. That's a promise!"
And then Sakura saw his smile. She felt a bit better already.
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What. The. Hell. Samui was not happy. She didn't really care that Konoha got flattened. She cared about the job she had to do. She cared about the obvious strength Akatsuki possessed. Things were not going well. Why not?
"She's unconscious?" Keep cool, Samui. Complete the mission. Deliver the letter to someone who can do something.
"…I'll take her letter. I'm her aide." Bullshit. Did this timid little woman really say that?
"If you don't know when she'll wake up, let me speak to whoever's in charge in the mean time. This is urgent; I need an answer right away!"
"But…"
There was a light cough at the entrance to the tent. Seven people stood there: two village elders, a lazy looking jounin, two young ninjas of indeterminable rank, and two ANBU. It was the elderly lady who had coughed. To Samui, these people looked like they could get something done. The elderly man spoke.
"Lady Tsunade is no longer the Hokage." Samui did not miss the glare the pink haired girl sent the man.
The boy stepped forward, or perhaps more accurately, the lazy looking jounin pushed him forward.
"Um, hi, I'm Naruto."
"Uh, hi," how was she supposed to react to this? "I'm Samui." He offered his name so she offered hers. What the hell was going on?
"Uh, so you're from Kumo, right?" The lazy looking jouni – who Samui was coming to believe to be the boy's jounin sensei – groaned. She was not amused.
"Look kid, I have urgent business with the Hokage, so—"
"I'm the Hokage."
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It was a bold declaration, Naruto knew. The words slipped out of his mouth with any thought. He felt bad when his eyes flickered over Baa-chan's prone form; he felt like he was taking something from her. He wasn't sure that he was up to the appointment. He wasn't sure that he could lead a squad let alone a village. These thoughts only strengthened his resolve. He was the Hokage.
He wasn't going to cheat the woman he loved as – A mother? A grand-mother? – something. He viewed this as a temporary office and he planned to give it back as soon as Baa-chan was finished taking her nap. But right now, he was the Hokage.
The woman stared at him, uncomprehending. He repeated himself. "I'm the Hokage. At least until Baa-chan wakes up."
"Naruto, don't call her—" Sakura was cut off by their sensei.
"Sakura, enough," Kakashi chastised.
The woman, Samui he thought he heard her say, now addressed him fully. "I have a letter from the Raikage that must be read immediately."
She held out the letter and Naruto took it. "Um, thanks." He could hear the two other ninjas with this asking each other, "Is that really the Hokage?" It frustrated him but after knowing Sasuke for so long he knew the rule of cool: let them go ahead and talk, he'd show them later. Nobody makes fun of the Hokage.
All these thoughts were put aside as he began reading the letter – ironically, bringing news of Sasuke.
His eyes grew larger; his shoulders shook. Was this sadness? Was this rage? Whatever it was there were no longer any whispers behind his back. He was bleeding youki.
'Sasuke,' he thought, 'what has happened to you?' Sasuke was more than a comrade to him; Sasuke was a brother. Sasuke, now… none of this made sense. Why would Sasuke join Akatsuki? The organization that sought to bring pain and death to everyone, the organization that hunted hosts like rabbits, the organization that Itachi had been a part of – why would Sasuke join them? Why had Sasuke gone after this shinobi – another host – wearing Akatsuki robes? Why? Why, why, why?
"Naruto," he heard Sakura say in a timid voice, "what's wrong?"
He did not answer with words. He could not trust his mouth. He thrust the paper back. He heard her whisper a name: "Sasuke." And then he heard her fall. Her legs gave out on her, the day's events having taken their toll. Sakura was spent and he knew it.
"Shizune," Naruto called. The black haired woman was staring at him, shocked. Had she been staring the whole time? Naruto hoped she didn't think of him as betraying Tsunade. Her gaze did not hold any malice, a good sign. "Oi, nee-chan," Shizune snapped out of it, "please help Sakura, she's kind of having a bad day."
"Uh, okay, Naruto I'll help – just what is going on?"
Koharu spared Naruto from having to answer that one. "The Council decided to appoint a new Hokage while Tsunade is indisposed."
"Just temporarily," Naruto hastily added. He didn't want Shizune to get the wrong idea but the looks the elders sported said 'possibly otherwise.'
"Temporary or not," Samui gazed at him evenly, "You are the leader are you not?" Naruto nodded in the affirmative. "Then what is your decision?"
"Excuse me?" Naruto asked.
"What is your decision regarding Uchiha Sasuke," the kunoichi repeated.
Naruto heard a distinct "ehem" behind him. He was suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. It was like the world was spinning around him. Was this what the Hokage had to deal with? On a day-to-day basis? Oh god this was hard! "Uhhh…"
"The Council would like to view this letter," the old geezer Homura said. Naruto had no idea at this point who had the letter back there. It was changing hands again. Who had it last, Kakashi?
"Uhh…" God he felt helpless!
"Naruto," Kakashi informed, "whatever decision you make will have political repercussions."
What was there to decide? He couldn't just give up Sasuke! He didn't want to be burdened with that; Sasuke may have left the village, but Naruto would always see him as a friend and a brother, a proud shinobi of Konoha. Sasuke was confused when he left, driven mad by his brother. He was probably confused now too! How could he sell out his brother in this time of need? What was he doing as Hokage if he couldn't do anything about Sasuke? God his heart was beating fast! Was this what they called a panic attack?
"I…" Every set of eyes in the room was staring at him expectantly. What was he supposed to say? Could he tell them that he wanted to save Sasuke? Could he get Kumo to drop it? Would he have the blood of his brother on his hands? This was…
"I…" What could he tell Sakura if he had Sasuke killed? What would he tell Kakashi and the others? A man who breaks the rules is trash but a man who abandons his friends is less than trash, right? But what could he tell Tsunade if he screwed things up while in her office? How could he deal with it if Kumo went to war with Konoha? What would the Fourth have done? He couldn't just sacrifice his life to seal Sasuke into his son – he didn't even have a son – or some shit like that! This was… this was insane!
He looked at that big breasted lady. She wanted her answer; he could see it in her eyes. And then he knew: he couldn't give it to her, not right now.
"I can't give you an answer right now." She seemed surprised – and displeased.
"This matter is urgent. If you can't answer, then who can?"
Kakashi now standing next to him – when did that happen – with a hand on his shoulder, said, "What Hokage-sama means to say is that this is not a decision to be taken lightly."
Naruto could kiss the man's feet.
Samui folded her arms under her ample bosom. "And what exactly is there to consider? Uchiha Sasuke is a missing-nin from Konoha. He has directly laid an attack on Kumo and abducted one of ours. Why are you people so keen on defending him?"
Naruto did not answer either of her questions. Instead he asked, "How long?"
"Excuse me?"
"How long has it been since your shinobi was taken?" Naruto was already trying to figure the math. It took about three days for Akatsuki to extract the Ichibi and they had more people then. How many were left? Four now was it? Including Sasuke?
The rude babe studied him with a hard gaze. "Two days," she said.
"Then he's still alive," Naruto said as much to himself as to them. The Kumo people were surprised, Naruto could see. He surprised them a bit more. "He's a host, right? Akatsuki is after the hosts. It takes some time to extract a biju."
The Kumo people didn't know how to respond, which was the best thing Naruto could have hoped for. Number one most surprising ninja indeed. Now all he had to do was sneak out of here and find some place to collect his thoughts—
"Where are you going?" Damn. That Kumo chick was sharp.
Naruto smiled sheepishly. "Well, I'm not gonna be able to think here." She gave him a very telling look. "Uh, look, I'll come back in two hours. That's a promise. And Uzumaki Naruto doesn't go back on his word."
Samui watched him leave the tent. 'Uzumaki Naruto, huh? What a strange person to have as Hokage.'
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AN: As you can tell, Naruto becoming Hokage does not automatically fix everything. There are some things he cannot do (like run off to the middle of nowhere to plead with the Raikage - he has a village full of people to think about) and there are aspects of the job he is not prepared to handle from the decision making/political end. Which makes this a potentially interesting story.