TITLE: "Garden of Eden"
AUTHOR: LilHairyEyeball
EMAIL: lilhairyeyeball@allwrongheaded.com
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.
SUMMARY: Alternate Season Four fic, stemming from Something Blue onwards.
SPOILERS: Up through Season 4
RATING: Giving it an R rating, in case I get frisky. Which I tend to do.
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples
---
"Eat a cookie; ease my pain?" Willow's face is so filled with hope, how the heck am I supposed to say no? Even if she has left me more confused that the Trig pop quiz from last year.
"Mm. Better?" I love the girl to death, but sometimes she makes being her friend hard work. Is that a bad thing to say?
"Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt, but only 7% of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take awhile."
I smile now, "It'll happen." That's the Willow I know and love. She'd be horrified if I'd been left sucking face with Spike a moment longer. Heck, so would I.
"Don't I get a cookie?" Speaking of the bleached wonder, there he is.
"No." Why does he get me so pissed off, so quickly? My annoyance reaches a passionate level when I'm around him for more than two seconds. And I've really got to stop using worlds like passionate when I'm talking about Spike. It's not of the good.
"Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth." Wonderful, now he's looking right at me.
"You're a pig, Spike." He really is, being engaged to him only made him worse. He's such an old fashioned guy. Like a total.misogynist. Hey, Willow would be so proud of me for using that word.
"Yeah. Well I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance." And he had to yell that part because why? He hasn't caused me enough pain for one day?
"That was the spell." God, he really does know how to push my buttons. I've got to get out of this place. Or at least get out of sight of Spike. He's making me uncomfortable, what with all the looking, and talking, and the looking. I should have known Willow would come scurrying after me. God, do I really sound that bitchy? I don't know what's wrong with me today, I swear.
"Did I mention about the sorry part?" I think the look I'm giving her says it all.
"We may be into a forgetting spell later." Although I'm not sure I want to. Best kissage of my life, so far. "I loved him. We were betrothed." Oh my God, I can't believe I was so happy about it. I was so excited.
"Well, at-at least you were getting along." Says my ever-hopeful friend. She really doesn't have a clue sometimes.
"But we weren't. I mean it wasn't even nice. And the bad-boy thing? Over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable.. Oh my God! Riley thinks I'm engaged." Shit. I'd forgotten about him. Mr. Normal, in with a chance.
"Riley. He saw me. What the hell am I going to say?" Other than, hey there buddy! My slightly insano roommate cast a spell, and I was macking on my mortal enemy for a while. Wanna grab a coffee some time? Oh God, this whole thing has been a nightmare, and now I have to try and fix it.
---
"You thought I was serious?" He really is quite handsome.
"Well, no.. um.. you weren't serious?" Wow, but look at that face. He and Willow would make a great couple. They're completely oblivious, the pair of them. But the show must go on, right?
"Oh, God, please. I'd marry a guy named Spike?" His name is actually William, yanno.
"Maybe. We haven't known each other that long." Oh God, there's that hopeful face again. He's like a big old puppy, looking for love.
"No, it's just... I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time."
"I did not have fear in my eyes." He's quite adamant, but I know him better than he realizes.
"Yes you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain!" Ah, see the guilt flash across your face? I saw it.
"So you decided to tell me you're getting married." Wow, is he an hour behind in this conversation, or what?
"Uh-huh." And I'd really like you to know, that some people wouldn't fail that test. In fact, there are some guys who embrace the idea of marriage. They see it as nice normal idea. Except for the whole being a neutered vampire part, and my God, am I comparing Riley to Spike now? Willow is deader than dead.
"So, you're insane." Oh wow! You sure do know your way to a girl's heart.
"Uh-huh!" Being this perky is making my face hurt. I just want to go home.
"But you're still single?"
"Yes." Ahhh, now he's getting to the important questions! Let's see if he's got the stones to actually ask me out. I did not just say stones, I didn't.
"Okay, then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle."
What, that's it? No date, no coffee, no nothing? "You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley." Or do I have to draw you a chart?
"You're gonna teach me." He walked off. Wait, did he just cornball me and leave? What the hell? I am seriously not liking these college boys. Is he supposed to leave me hanging? Wait. Am I supposed to care? I mean, nice guy and all, but apart from putting a crimp in my plans for "normal boyfriend, take 2" he's really not made an impact. He's just not doing it for me, at all. He's too nice, and sweet, and smells like cut grass. Where's the edge of danger I like?
I like danger? Since when? Oh God, Willow is so unbelievably dead.
AUTHOR: LilHairyEyeball
EMAIL: lilhairyeyeball@allwrongheaded.com
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.
SUMMARY: Alternate Season Four fic, stemming from Something Blue onwards.
SPOILERS: Up through Season 4
RATING: Giving it an R rating, in case I get frisky. Which I tend to do.
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples
---
"Eat a cookie; ease my pain?" Willow's face is so filled with hope, how the heck am I supposed to say no? Even if she has left me more confused that the Trig pop quiz from last year.
"Mm. Better?" I love the girl to death, but sometimes she makes being her friend hard work. Is that a bad thing to say?
"Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt, but only 7% of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take awhile."
I smile now, "It'll happen." That's the Willow I know and love. She'd be horrified if I'd been left sucking face with Spike a moment longer. Heck, so would I.
"Don't I get a cookie?" Speaking of the bleached wonder, there he is.
"No." Why does he get me so pissed off, so quickly? My annoyance reaches a passionate level when I'm around him for more than two seconds. And I've really got to stop using worlds like passionate when I'm talking about Spike. It's not of the good.
"Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth." Wonderful, now he's looking right at me.
"You're a pig, Spike." He really is, being engaged to him only made him worse. He's such an old fashioned guy. Like a total.misogynist. Hey, Willow would be so proud of me for using that word.
"Yeah. Well I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance." And he had to yell that part because why? He hasn't caused me enough pain for one day?
"That was the spell." God, he really does know how to push my buttons. I've got to get out of this place. Or at least get out of sight of Spike. He's making me uncomfortable, what with all the looking, and talking, and the looking. I should have known Willow would come scurrying after me. God, do I really sound that bitchy? I don't know what's wrong with me today, I swear.
"Did I mention about the sorry part?" I think the look I'm giving her says it all.
"We may be into a forgetting spell later." Although I'm not sure I want to. Best kissage of my life, so far. "I loved him. We were betrothed." Oh my God, I can't believe I was so happy about it. I was so excited.
"Well, at-at least you were getting along." Says my ever-hopeful friend. She really doesn't have a clue sometimes.
"But we weren't. I mean it wasn't even nice. And the bad-boy thing? Over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable.. Oh my God! Riley thinks I'm engaged." Shit. I'd forgotten about him. Mr. Normal, in with a chance.
"Riley. He saw me. What the hell am I going to say?" Other than, hey there buddy! My slightly insano roommate cast a spell, and I was macking on my mortal enemy for a while. Wanna grab a coffee some time? Oh God, this whole thing has been a nightmare, and now I have to try and fix it.
---
"You thought I was serious?" He really is quite handsome.
"Well, no.. um.. you weren't serious?" Wow, but look at that face. He and Willow would make a great couple. They're completely oblivious, the pair of them. But the show must go on, right?
"Oh, God, please. I'd marry a guy named Spike?" His name is actually William, yanno.
"Maybe. We haven't known each other that long." Oh God, there's that hopeful face again. He's like a big old puppy, looking for love.
"No, it's just... I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time."
"I did not have fear in my eyes." He's quite adamant, but I know him better than he realizes.
"Yes you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain!" Ah, see the guilt flash across your face? I saw it.
"So you decided to tell me you're getting married." Wow, is he an hour behind in this conversation, or what?
"Uh-huh." And I'd really like you to know, that some people wouldn't fail that test. In fact, there are some guys who embrace the idea of marriage. They see it as nice normal idea. Except for the whole being a neutered vampire part, and my God, am I comparing Riley to Spike now? Willow is deader than dead.
"So, you're insane." Oh wow! You sure do know your way to a girl's heart.
"Uh-huh!" Being this perky is making my face hurt. I just want to go home.
"But you're still single?"
"Yes." Ahhh, now he's getting to the important questions! Let's see if he's got the stones to actually ask me out. I did not just say stones, I didn't.
"Okay, then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle."
What, that's it? No date, no coffee, no nothing? "You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley." Or do I have to draw you a chart?
"You're gonna teach me." He walked off. Wait, did he just cornball me and leave? What the hell? I am seriously not liking these college boys. Is he supposed to leave me hanging? Wait. Am I supposed to care? I mean, nice guy and all, but apart from putting a crimp in my plans for "normal boyfriend, take 2" he's really not made an impact. He's just not doing it for me, at all. He's too nice, and sweet, and smells like cut grass. Where's the edge of danger I like?
I like danger? Since when? Oh God, Willow is so unbelievably dead.