Still Alive

Percy's POV

I was lying on my bed in the Poseidon cabin. Good old cabin four. I thought about life. Yeah, I know that's deep. But I was buried in grief despite my cheery façade. The Giant War was only a month ago and I am unfortunately still alive.

I know I shouldn't be thinking like that and be grateful for my life but what could I be grateful for, huh? Sure I had an amazing girlfriend and friends who were pretty much family. But I saw so many members of that family die before my eyes. No, they didn't 'die'; that sounds too peaceful. They were murdered. And I was responsible.

All those people kids had lives, friends, and a family and I took them away from it all. No one blamed me but I knew it was entirely my fault. And I couldn't bear it. I wanted to join those who wandered in the realm of Hades. It would be better for everyone if I died; I mean I am a magnet for trouble.

I know my mom and Annabeth would be devastated if I died maybe the camp too but camp and Annabeth would get over it and my mom…well she had Paul now. I looked across the room and saw rope, maybe I could…no I was a leader a great leader at least in the eyes of camp. But in reality I wasn't: I was just a terrified foolish little boy who has no idea what he was doing.

To the camp I was a great hero with a loving mother and father and an amazing childhood. But what did I have to show for that: a Minotaur horn, a deadbeat father, dozens of deaths on my head and scars on my back from the abuse Smelly Gabe dispensed on my mom and I all those years ago. My mother had to go through that to protect me. All I do is cause pain and misery.

That is it I'm doing it.

I rose from my bed and obtained the rope. As I made the noose Thalia walked without knocking…as usual.

"Percy? What are you doing?"

"Nothing Thals. Nothing at all" I reply.

Her eyes narrow suspiciously towards the noose in progress in my hands but my façade fools her "Whatever. Chiron needs you at the Big House"

I tell her I'm coming in a minute and she leaves. I my gaze to look at my half finished noose and think no…not today and walk through the sea green doors of my cabin. I look toward the ocean and re-apply my happy façade and walk to the Big House smiling.

I know its terrible but this is my first story! I promise I'll get better.

Review Please!