Author's note: Hello, and welcome to the first chapter of my new story! First of all, I would like to note that the ending of A Reminiscence has been modified slightly to fit this story, so you should go check that out first, and probably get the full story anyway. Other than that, please read and enjoy!
Such a Strange Thing Life Is
Prologue
Beginning Anew
()()()
To any outside observers, the recently-bought Larch Estate seemed to be the perfect image of affluence and beauty; the grounds were perfectly maintained by an expert team of gardeners, the windows all shone in the early morning sun like the water of the still ocean, the Lugia fountain outside was an ideal example of the craft of statue fountains, and so on. However, anybody who was to look inside would sooner believe that the estate was owned by an escaped mental patient, or perhaps a wild pack of rabid Mightyena. It was in a state of utter disarray, loose papers and books all over the place with rhyme and reason both known solely to the owner and no other living person. Whiteboards were scattered throughout the place, covered in strange diagrams that seemed more at home in an arcane religious ritual than any sort of scientific endeavor. Of course, all this disarray and discord was the work of the incomparable Professor Berkeley Larch, an incredible genius who, in the face of mockery, derision, and disbelief, devised an incredible device that would allow humans and Pokémon to finally communicate between each other, which most had believed mere fantasy. However, he did not believe so, and proved it in front of the entire world at a presentation in Unova, after a remarkable adventure wherein he had made several very good friends in the midst of insanity and violence, much of it caused by him somehow.
Of course, that whole business was fairly well known, for better or worse in some cases, and he had just recently completed the first draft of a book telling the truth of the affair in lieu of two catastrophically inaccurate (and frankly awful) Hollywood retellings that, among other crimes against truth, killed Jack LeBoure, former rival and now close friend to Berkeley Larch fairly early on in the first film (which he was still furious about), and invented completely new plots wholesale that served little purpose and were utter nonsense anyway. None of the group involved were very pleased with the presentation, but they had been compensated fairly and were now living quite comfortably.
In yet another odd twist of fate, Jack had shown up almost immediately after Larch began printing his new masterpiece of truth and reason, proposing that they visit the recently-opened Kalos region, in search of a powerful Legendary Pokémon named Xerneas, who was said to rule over the idea of life itself. Such an event would be monumental, and they both felt very confident as the two men walked out to Jack's car.
"This is going to kick ass!" Jack cried as he fumbled for his keys among various expensive trinkets he had uselessly stuck on his keychain, eventually finding the appropriate one. "We'll be the first humans to have set eyes on this thing in centuries, probably!"
As he unlocked the car, careful not to harm any of it, Larch looked at him in bemusement. "You are acting like a child in a candy shop, Jack. This is quite unlike you."
"What do you mean?" Jack asked as he opened the door.
"I mean, usually you are much more subdued than this. Of course, the excitement of such a huge opportunity is probably a great factor in this abnormal behavior."
"Don't try to play psychologist on me, Larch," Jack derided as he turned the car on, the engine roaring to life with all eight of its custom-tooled cylinders. "Now, come on, get in. I don't want to waste any more time."
"I could not agree more," Larch said as he walked around and entered. When both of them were buckled in, Jack sped off, leaving a massive cloud of dirt in his wake as he hauled off to Anne's home.
()()()
Rather than a grandiose estate like Larch, or a fully-equipped modern home like Jack, Anne had chosen to open a business for herself doing what she always loved most: training Pokémon. Specifically, teaching other people whose Pokémon acted unruly how to keep them under control, a task with which she was quite familiar, having mostly trained large and violent Pokémon in her lifetime. The building she had had constructed to facilitate this was thus a very gentle-looking building, with no sharp edges or corners on the outside, but just a perfect two-leveled cylinder, and no bright color scheme, instead opting for a calming shade of blue. Numerous windows allowed for a view into the outside world, and also could provide lovely fresh air. There was, of course, a large field outside the building for especially large Pokémon that could not fit inside the main building.
Larch always thought that the amount of thought put into the construction was quite impressive, but he was not there to gawk at anything, and neither was Jack.
As the two men pulled up, Anne, who was busy inside with some paperwork, automatically recognized them, which would not have been hard at all, as Jack tended not to be very good at parking his expensive car, and nearly crashed it into a bush, prompting him to start swearing violently as he left the car.
"Shit!" he cried, shutting the door violently as he practically fell out. "This thing parks like ass!"
"Perhaps you could get driving lessons for once?" Larch suggested.
"I don't need driving lessons!" Jack insisted. "I need a car that can actually brake!"
"How about a driver that can actually brake?"
Jack stared at Larch with a hatred that could have withered a mighty oak. "Do you want to do this thing, or not?"
"Okay, okay, sorry," Larch said, smiling as Anne, who also seemed quite happy, came out of her building. Larch noticed she was wearing a translator, and a very old model at that.
"Anne, is that the translator I first gave you?" Larch asked, already suspecting as much.
"What? Oh, yeah, totally. Those things are crazy expensive, you know."
"Anne, you are effectively set for life. What could you possibly not afford?"
Anne considered this for a moment, but brushed it off. "Anyway, what are you guys doing here? Your Pokémon are perfectly behaved."
"We're not here for anything like that," Jack explained. "We're going on a bit of a hunt."
"A hunt?" Anne asked, concerned. "You're not going to kill anything, are you?"
"What?" Larch asked, surprised at the implication. "Of course not! Rather, we are searching for something."
"And what would that be, exactly?"
"Simple, we are looking for…" Larch paused, attempting to recall what it was that Jack had proposed the search about. "Er, well, perhaps Jack had better explain it, it was his idea, after all."
"You mean you forgot," Jack corrected.
"No! I simply mean to say that you could probably explain it better than I could."
"So you forgot."
"Just show her the damn Pokémon, would you?!" Larch cried.
"All right, all right." Jack reached inside his coat and pulled out the documents relating to Xerneas. "But you totally forgot, didn't you?"
"I am beginning to question how much I want to do with this, Jack," Larch said, crossing his arms.
Jack frowned. "Psh, can't you have any fun at all? Anyway, here's what we're after." He gave Anne the pictures, and her eyes widened as she observed the image of Xerneas.
"What the hell is this thing?" she demanded, looking it over. "Why are we going after this thing?"
"That, Anne, is Xerneas," Jack said. "Kalos recently opened up, and that thing is one of the major Legendary Pokémon there. They say it's responsible for presiding over the concept of life itself."
Anne looked up from the image, somewhat suspicious now. "Okay, why are you convinced that capturing this thing is a good idea if it controls life itself? What if confining it just kills everything? I am not going to wipe out everything alive just to get a Pokémon!"
"Now, come on, there's no proof that something like that would happen," Jack pointed out, but Anne remained unconvinced.
"I don't…this is an awful idea! Why not try to capture Arceus while you're at it and own God himself?"
"Actually, I did consider that, but I thought that this would be easier."
"Have you both gone insane?" Anne demanded.
"Well, actually, I was not aware of what Xerneas presided over," Larch said, looking to Jack. "This is very interesting data, indeed. How can you be so sure that Xerneas' capture will have no consequences whatsoever?"
Jack thought for a moment, realizing that they had a fair point. "Okay, okay, we can just try to get a good look at it or something. Maybe we can get some footage and sell it to a news station or something."
"There, that is a much better plan!" Larch congratulated, before he turned to Anne once more. "Well, how about that?"
Anne considered it, and relented to the improved plan. "Uh...I can have the assistant trainer cover for me if I do...yeah, that'll work out, I'll go. But if all life ends because of this, I'm blaming you."
"Oh, great, that's fair," Jack drawled. "Come on, let's go get Ralph."
"Where does he live, again?" Anne asked.
"In that lame boring house on Decker Avenue," Jack said. "Seriously, why couldn't he have gotten something cool like me?"
"Remind me again of what you have that is so much cooler than he?" Larch asked.
"Well, I have a modern house, a big flatscreen television, all sorts of fancy computer stuff…" He would have continued his list by quite an amount if Larch did not thankfully stop him there.
"Thank you, that will be more than enough," Larch said. "At least Ralph lives well under his means, and thus has money to spare in the event of a great calamity."
"Yeah, but it's so boring!" Jack cried. "He could have everything, but instead he chose middle-class garbage!"
"And what's wrong with middle-class, exactly?" Anne asked, annoyed. "Remember, we were all middle-class before we started kicking ass and getting a bunch of royalty checks."
"And it sucked!" Jack countered. "Look, I don't know why he's living a life of bland, and honestly, I don't care—"
"Then what was that whole tirade about how stupid he is?" Larch asked.
"That was me not caring," Jack explained. "Can we just go get him in my awesome not-middle-class car?"
"If you promise to stop blabbering endlessly about things you have no interest in, gladly," Larch as he climbed back into the passenger seat. "Wait a minute, where is Slick? Surely we do not intend to leave him behind."
"He went into town to pick up some training stuff," Anne explained. "We could probably swing by and pick him up after Ralph. I'm sure he'd love to hear Jack yelling about how cool he is."
Jack seethed for a moment, but entered anyway, as did Anne. With all of them in the car, they took off in silence, save for the roar of the engine.
()()()
Despite their earlier argument, Larch did have to admit that Ralph's house was tremendously boring. Located in the middle of one of those odd suburbs where every house looks exactly the same, his still managed to appear utterly uninteresting in comparison with the rest of them. The only sign that someone of significant wealth lived there was the Vincentio Horizon parked in the driveway, a sight which looked very odd.
Thankfully for all of them, they didn't start up another argument; instead, Jack and Larch politely exited the car and walked up to the front door, careful to avoid the grass that had been trimmed to exactly two and a half inches.
Standing in front of the door, the two men shared a glance before Jack knocked, prompting Ralph to call out a half-hearted "Hold on!" as he (loudly) wrapped up whatever he was in the middle of when he was interrupted. They waited for a few moments and Ralph opened the door, standing before them in a hideous plaid robe. "Oh, hey guys. What are you doing here?"
"I think the better question is 'what the hell are you wearing?'" Larch noted. "This is the most hideous thing I have ever seen!"
"Well, I like it," Ralph said, revealing nothing more. They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Jack took out his papers and handed them to Ralph, who looked over them, confused. "What the hell is this?"
"That is Xerneas," Jack explained. "The Kalos-native overseer of life itself, and we are going to captu—I mean, look for it and record it. You know, for science."
"Why?" Ralph asked.
"For science, weren't you listening?"
"That isn't really a reason."
"Our intention is to perform a scientific survey, record it, and then sell the footage to a news station and publish the results," Larch said. "Of course, our original purpose was to capture it outright, but as Anne noted, that is a terrible idea."
"I only wanted to capture it!" Jack yelled indignantly. "Why is everybody getting on my ass about this?"
"Because keeping the God of Life in a little ball is a bad idea," Ralph said. "You really didn't think of that?"
Jack seethed, but realized that he was on the losing side of the argument and decided to accept that, opting instead to ask the question. "Do you want to come with us or not?"
"Well, if you promise not to try and capture the thing, I'm in. Getting restless, you know?"
"I can imagine," Larch said, turning around to get a panoramic view of the countless identical houses around him. "It must get boring, looking at the same thing day after day."
"It's orderly," Ralph said, "and everything is in check. I like it."
"But it's awful!" Jack said. "You have tons of money! You could live in the lap of luxury, like me! You could have a giant flatscreen television, like me!"
"You could be annoying, like me!" Larch interjected, in a rather crude parody of Jack's voice.
"Shut up! Anyway, what's with this crappy mediocrity you've settled in to?"
"Living in a mansion would just make me a target," Ralph said. "I don't want to be a target."
"Uh…sure," Jack said, now disturbed. "Let's…let's just go to the car."
"Yes, please," Larch said, and Ralph followed them as they walked back. However, as they stepped onto the sidewalk, a younger man with greasy black hair and glasses nearly bumped into them, profusely apologizing afterwards.
"Crap!" he said, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going."
"No reason to apologize," Larch said. "You have done no harm, after all."
"I really should have been watching, though," the other man said. "Is that your car?"
"Mine, actually," Jack said. "Isn't she a beauty?"
"It certainly is," the man noted. "Who's that?"
The other three turned and saw that Anne had gotten out, evidently surprised to see the man, and somewhat suspicious as well. "I'm Anne," she answered. "Who are you?"
"You mean you don't recognize me?" the man asked, legitimately surprised that they didn't.
"Um, no," Larch said. "I daresay I have never seen you before."
"Wait a second…" Ralph said, pushing past him and walking up to the man. "You do look kind of familiar, now that I think about it…"
"About time!" the man said, removing his glasses and adopting a very particular accent indeed. "I thought you would never recognize the sheer illustriousness of Wolfgang Von Genocide!"
"Oh, absolutely not," Anne said, rubbing her face as if she had just woken up. "Please tell me you're not going to try this stupid crap again?"
"But of course, m'lady! After all, I would be remiss to give up so soon after failing!"
"You are you supposed to be in prison!" Larch cried. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I escaped, of course," Wolfgang said simply. "Is it really that hard to comprehend? Did you go soft in the last few years? After that awful movie that came out, I would not be surprised if you simply gave up."
"How did you get a chance to see that thing?" Jack demanded.
"Perhaps they used the films as punishment for unbecoming conduct," Larch suggested.
"As much as you might think so, that was not quite the case," said Wolfgang.
"They would probably count that as a human rights abuse, yes," Larch said.
Wolfgang chuckled. "In reality, I escaped not long after they put me in there. For a high-security prison, the security was hardly high at all. Anyway, you are searching for Xerneas, yes?"
"Hey, how the hell did you know that?" Jack demanded. "Have you been stalking me? You haven't watched me shower or anything, have you?"
"Why would I ever want to observe something so vile?" Wolfgang asked, disgusted. "No, I simply overheard you while you were researching in the library. I suppose history does repeat itself, doesn't it?"
"Please do not remind me of that calamity," Larch chided. "What, exactly, do you intend to do with this information?"
"I intend to capture Xerneas myself and use it to defeat you once and for all," Wolfgang said. "I doubt any of you could possibly stand up to the ruler of life itself?" He would have continued his taunts, but he noticed that Ralph was doing something odd, and he grew annoyed. "You, the tall one! What the hell are you doing?"
"I just sent a message to the police, guys," Ralph said, holding up his cell phone that displayed some unreadable text message. "They're on their way right now."
"What?" Wolfgang asked, deflating. "No fair! I didn't even get to tell you my plan yet!"
"What are you going to do, cry about it?" Jack said, mockingly rubbing his eyes. "Maybe you're the one who went soft!"
"S-shut u—I mean, silence!" Wolfgang yelled, stamping his foot down firmly. "I will not be mocked by a collection of fools such as you!"
"If we are, indeed, fools, then why did you bother showing up here in the first place?" Larch asked.
Wolfgang steamed, but said nothing as a police siren wailed loudly, getting even louder as it approached them. As it got into sight, Larch noticed that a rather portly man was chasing after it at a surprisingly good speed.
"Who on earth is that?" Larch wondered, trying to look closer. However, doing so was not necessary, as the car, and of course the man, was beside them soon enough, and Ralph recognized him readily.
"That's Mr. Ruthers, the subdivision manager!" Ralph said. "What are you doing?"
"I'm chasing after Lieutenant Noise Violation here!" Ruthers huffed out, pointing at the cop who exited the car.
"Actually, it's Lieutenant Daniels," he corrected. "Is this the guy?"
"Indeed I am!" Wolfgang cried. "But I will have you know, I will not be arrested without first taking some amount of my revenge!"
"Who is this guy?" Ruther asked. "Could you please get rid of him before somebody gets annoyed?"
"I immediately side with him," Larch said.
"All right, pal, you're coming with me," Daniels said, but as he walked up to Wolfgang, the supposed villain leapt over Ralph's fence, ran through the yard, and made his escape.
"No wonder he broke out of prison," Jack noted. "What the hell was that?"
"Uh…" Daniels quickly pulled out his walkie-talkie and started shouting into it. "I have a runner at 616 Decker Avenue from that report earlier, he is high-priority, please respond immediately…"
"Damn it, I almost forgot why I hated this guy…" Ralph muttered. "Hold on a second."
To everybody's surprise, Ralph took off, quickly catching up to Wolfgang, intent on capturing the new quarry.
"What the hell is he doing?" Jack asked.
"This is completely against the law!" Ruthers cried. "The constitution explicitly states that none of the citizens are to take matters of the law into their own hands!"
"He is a member of Special Command," Larch explained, "and as far as I know, he still retains that power, so he has full jurisdiction to apprehend this man."
"Oh, excellent, the government abusing its power! Just what I always wanted!"
"That man is a wanted criminal! You would just let him escape and wreak whatever nonsensical havoc he wants?"
"If it means the government doesn't start sticking it's nose into my business, yes!"
"You idiot!" Larch yelled, but he soon turned around as they heard another shout, this one far more positive: "I got him!"
"Wow, Ralph got him already?" Jack asked. "That's not bad."
"Release me at once, you fool!" came the muffled shout of Wolfgang. "Do you not realize who you are apprehending?"
"Shut up!" Ralph cried, as he dragged the villain out from behind his house, keeping him trapped in a headlock. "I'm sick of you."
"You mean right now, or overall?" Larch asked.
"Both," Ralph explained, pushing Wolfgang to the cop as a full backup unit pulled up behind.
"What is this, now?" Ruthers demanded. "You're disturbing my subdivision's peace! I should sue!"
"Will you shut up about the goddamn subdivision?" Daniels asked as several policemen ran towards Wolfgang and subdued him as he glared upwards.
"Very well, I shall not reveal my exact plan," he said as he was dragged off, "but I will find you, and I will capture Xerneas! You will see!"
"I shall make sure not to look forward to it!" Larch cried as the police drove off, as did Daniels, leaving only the group and a very annoyed Ruthers.
"This is obscene! I should terminate your contract right now!"
"He has done nothing!" Larch countered. "You should be thanking him for helping to remove that idiot from your jurisdiction!"
"Thank him?!" Ruthers yelled. "Why would I do that?!"
"Do you really want to go into litigation with me?" Ralph asked, glaring strongly as he did so.
Ruthers paused, considering this, and deflated. "All right, all right, but I don't want this to happen again!"
"Hey, guys!" Slick yelled, suddenly appearing (in his most common costume, a monocle and a lovely bowler hat) behind Ruthers, who gained a look somewhere between "just had a heart attack" and "just got stabbed in the spleen". "Who's you're friend?"
"Christ!" yelled Ruthers, as he ran away. "You're all insane! Forget it, I don't want to!"
"What's his problem?" Slick asked, adjusting his monocle. "And again, who was that, even?"
"That was the manager of this area," Ralph explained. "He seemed a little annoyed with me, but we worked it out."
"How did you know we were here, Slick?" Larch asked.
"Well, I could sense that Anne left the school with the rest of you, and then I noticed all the crazy shit going on here just a little while ago, and I thought I'd drop in, but by the time I got close enough to teleport, they had all left."
"So you decided to nearly give that man a heart attack?"
"What was I supposed to do, make him a cake?"
"No more diversions!" Jack yelled, drawing everybody's confused stare. "Look, Slick, we're going to Kalos to try and get a glimpse of Xerneas."
"Xerneas, Xerneas…" Slick thought for a moment, before his face lit up in recognition. "Oh, yeah, that thing! Oh, man this is gonna be cool! How do we get there?"
Jack stared, before realizing the slight problem. "Uh…how do we get there?"
"Is the SS Anne making any trips?" Larch asked.
"No it isn't, and even if it was, I doubt they would let us on again," Jack said.
"Blast. Wait, they are allowing air travel, right?"
"Only from Unova," Ralph added. "And even then, you'd have to go to Sinnoh."
"We can get there from land, though, surely?"
"It would take a while to do that," Slick noted, "but that probably is our best bet."
"Very well, then!" Larch commanded. "We shall get prepared and then set out!"
"We're gonna need a ton of crap for this, you realize?" Jack noted.
"Oh, but of course." Larch smiled as he considered the limitless possibilities. "After all, who knows what will happen?"
()()()
At that same time, several miles away, Wolfgang Von Genocide smiled as he was escorted back to prison, recognizing that the advent of his victory was nigh.
Be very afraid, Larch, along with all your compatriots, he thought. My time will come soon, and when I control Xerneas, the world will be mine and you shall perish!