I wish we could have another minute, to finish this fairytale.
Hear your voice and get lost in it, cause all I got is broken details.
You were my world and everything in it, so how did you disappear.
I won't say this is over, you're still here.

"She's gone mad. I never thought I'd say that about Sandra Pullman but she has." Jack said as he and Brian sat at Gerry's funeral as they talked over Sandra's blatant refusal to come. She'd told them that it was stupid as he was still here. Gerry had known he didn't have long left to live due to his smoking addiction but it'd even surprised him that he gave up when he got together with Sandra.

You're my shadow, my shadow, I know you're close
You're my shadow, my shadow, everywhere I go
So I, I don't see the need to cry cause you'll never leave my life
You're my shadow, my shadow, oh
You'll never leave me

I can't cry, he's not gone and he doesn't like me crying. He's still here right next to me as I hug as his pillow. I know he's here, he's not 'dead', he's guiding me. I can still him when I close my eyes and can sense him all around me. The only problem is that he's not here here, he can't softly kiss me in a way that makes me tingle unlike anyone else has before. To hug me in a way that makes me desperate for him never to let me go. To make me want to leave work dead on 5 to spend as much time as possible with him out of the office, only he can convince me to relax and give up my workaholic personality.

I won't forget, I'll just sit and reminisce.
Promise I'll keep all your secrets.
To have you back would be my only wish (cause nobody knew me like you did).
The words will come to life I've written in my diary, hide and seek but I know you'll always find me.
Count to ten and I know you will appear, appear-pear no fear
I'm here, here.

I always joked he was old and nearing death but I never meant it and now I'd do anything to have him sitting next to me moaning about the TV chefs. I know he's here but it's not the same as having him here. I miss his voice and the way he manages to murder the English language and show disregard for real words. Now I'm finding myself on purposely charging his phone so when I ring it I hear his voice when it goes to voicemail. I haven't got the heart to leave the house at the moment, this was are home and this is where Gerry is, he's just I suppose hiding. This is where all of his stuff is, this is where I need to be. With him.

You're my shadow, my shadow, I know you're close
You're my shadow, my shadow, everywhere I go
So I, I don't see the need to cry cause you'll never leave my life.
You're my shadow, my shadow, oh, you'll never leave me.

Now you're gone and I swear you won't be alone
My heart beat tapping like it's made of stone.
I won't let you down, mute the sound but I can still hear. Yeah.
And now I'm breaking, see I'm shaking but I know you're waiting. Yeah-yeah.

I can't do this without him, I can't even remember my life without him. I need everything to just stop even for a second so my head can catch up with what's reality and what's nightmares or what's just plain wishful thinking. My heads spinning and I'm shaking but whatever happens now, I know you're right here next to me and that you'll never leave me, as you always promised me you wouldn't.
You're my shadow, my shadow, I know you're close,
You're my shadow, my shadow, everywhere I go,
So I, I don't see the need to cry cause, you'll never leave my life.
You're my shadow, my shadow, oh

You'll never leave me. No, please don't ever leave me. No, no, no, no. Oh.

The End.

Sorry for a sad story but it's been on my to do list for ages and I'm finally working my way through it. The lyrics are from My Shadow by Jessie J and is one of my favourite songs ever!

Beth xx