Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of the characters, Akira Toriyama does.
...
Vegeta and Nappa were walking to the Saiyan quarters on Frieza's ship, when suddenly, the door across from them slid open, and the Scorpions "Rock You Like a Hurricane" echoed through the ship, and Raditz stepped out into the hall, tossing his long, spiky black mane.
"What is Raditz DOING?" Nappa asked.
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "He's practicing his EPIC entrances again".
Not noticing his two partners, Raditz quickly looked down the hall both ways before dashing into another room.
"Pssst! Let's go see what he's up to", Nappa said.
Vegeta sighed, "The LAST time you wanted to see what he was up to, we were stuck hiding in that room for 2 hours, watching him give his hair a hot oil treatment!"
"Aw, come on!"
"THIS is the last time, Nappa", Vegeta grumbled.
They snuck easily into the room, as Raditz had his back to them. As they watched, Raditz pressed a button on the wall. A panel slid back, revealing an eerie pink light.
"N-no...It can't be...Not HER", Nappa whispered, his eyes widening in horror.
"But it is...", spat Vegeta, "It's BARBIE!"
There before the two stunned Saiyans, stood a shrine dedicated entirely to BARBIE! There was everything from Holiday Barbie to the Barbie Town House. There was even the limited edition pink Barbie convertible! Raditz reached down, and picked up Malibu Barbie.
"Hello Barbie, how are you today?" he asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.
"Hello Raditz, I'm just fine", he then said in a high-pitched girly voice, making it appear as though the doll were adressing him, and walking about on her own. "And YOU'RE fine too, Raditz. Your bod' looks like it was chiseled out of marble", he said in the same girly tone.
"More like he's lost HIS marbles", Vegeta snapped to Nappa.
Raditz then placed Malibu Barbie into the pink convertible.
"Feel like going for a spin, Barbie?" he asked the doll.
"Oh sure, Raditz, as long as YOU'RE there", he answered for her.
He then drove the car on an imaginary roadway, complete with engine sound effects. He sat Malibu Barbie and the car back down.
"Oh Barbie, if they'd let you into NASCAR, you would've SMOKED them!" Raditz sighed dreamily.
"I'm gonna be SICK!" Nappa scowled, "How DARE he bring my NASCAR into this!"
"Shut up Nappa, he'll hear us", Vegeta snapped.
"Do you wanna DANCE, Barbie?" he asked.
"You better believe it, Raditz!" he said, once again using the girly voice.
First, he walked directly under the pink light that shone directly above him, and to Nappa and Vegeta's sheer horror, his armor turned BRIGHT PINK!
Raditz punched another button, and Vegeta and Nappa's jaws droppeda as "I'm A Barbie Girl", blasted from the speakers. Raditz lip-synced to the lyrics as he performed an elaborate routine of ballet jumps and spins, a couple of back-flips, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders' kick line, and he even went so far as to include the Disco Scene from "Saturday Night Fever".
"I think I can get a clear shot of his backside", Vegeta said, aiming his glowing fingers at Raditz.
"No, let the idiot finish", Nappa cut in.
Raditz ended his performance leaning back in a chair, and letting a bucket of water pour across his chest a la "Flashdance"!
Unable to contain themselves any longer, Nappa and Vegeta collapsed to the floor in fits of laughter.
Raditz went rigid and slowly turned to face them. His look of shock quickly faded, and he stated in a low, deadly voice,
"You two do realize that now I have to KILL YOU!"...
...