Impulse and Inertia's Rivalry Retold!

Here is what really went on (a basic overview) in all of the issues regarding Impulse and Inertia. Please review. (Script format)

Impulse and Inertia meet for the first time on a bright sunny day –

Thad: "But not before I stalk him for a very long time!"

Bart: "You've been stalking me? Ew!"

Thad: "That's right, I've been carefully analysing-"

Bart: "Look, is this the bit where I say 'Never, villain!' and fight you? 'Cause I've got people to see, places to go...ya know?"

Thad: "No, I don't." *gets angsty*

Bart: "No not yet! You're supposed to go all emo next time!"

Thad: "Fine."

They fight bravely and heroically (actually Inertia cheats by capturing Bart's grandma and holding her hostage – as you do when you're an evil villain/clone/plot device) and Bart saves the day!

Iris: "Oh Bart, I'm so glad you're safe!"

Bart: "I'm glad you're safe too. Can I have my present now?"

(Actually what was said in the comic! Or something along those lines.)

The next time they meet, Inertia puts Impulse in virtual animation and pretends to be him (with a whole lot of brown hair dye of course. You know, for the blondeness).

Thad: "Hah, no one will EVER guess that it's me!"

*Five minutes later...*

Carol: "OMG! You're not really Bart at all! And you're plotting a dastardly plot to kill Max Mercury, Bart's mentor... just in case the readers didn't quite work things out."

Thad: "What? How the hell-?"

Carol: "I found your brown hair dye."

Thad: "IRONY!"

Impulse: "I'm back and better than ever! That virtual world really does your body good. Ah hah! You won't kill Max, I won't allow it!"

Inertia: *laughs* "You'll never stop me now! He's being pulled into the Speed Force as we speak!"

NEWSFLASH – Max lost his connection to the SF and was dying, despite being the ZEN MASTER OF SPEED who discovered it in the first place.

Max: "IRONY!"

Here comes the over-dramatic pupil saves mentor bit where Impulse lies on the floor and grabs Max's hand, looking deep into his eyes as a show of father-son love, because for some reason, it's required that heroes do that at least once a month.

Thad: "Crud! There goes my nice plan."

Max: "Join us Thad!"

Thad: "NO! Um...I've forgotten what I'm supposed to be doing next actually." *checks script*

Bart: "THIS is where you go all emo at the sight of our TRUE LOOVE! Then you run away...or whatever."

Thad: "After seeing your love, I have realised something very deep." *takes a huge breath* MY LIFE IS A LIE! *runs away*

Max: "Hmm...that was nicely done. Ooo, I'm feeling all better now, thanks to the Speed Force."

Impulse: "Hooray!"

And then they lived happily ever after.

Well, until Max disappears into the Speed Force (Speed Force – a pesky plot device that shows up every once in a while) and Impulse experiences CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT through a series of other traumatic events, turning into a moody bookworm called Kid Flash.

Kid Flash: "Yo." *looks tough in red and yellow suit*

See what I mean? And THEN his bestest buddy in the whole wide world –

Superboy: "Hi!"

Dies.

Superboy: "Oh...er...alright then." *dies dramatically at the hands of Superboy Prime*

Kid Flash: "There are way too many Supers running around. I must avenge his death by pushing Superboy Prime into the Speed Force. Because that solves everything for us speedsters."

So that's exactly what he does, with the help of Jay Garrick and Wally West. But both of them chicken out half-way through.

Jay: "Sorry, just need to get my breath back!"

Wally: "Bye bye!"

KF: "What?"

And poor Bart struggles on by himself. Until Barry Allen and Max show up to help him (as ghosts obviously. I mean, Barry Allen coming back to life after all these years? That's just silly.).

Barry: "I'm helpful!"

Kid Flash: "Yay!"

Then he runs inside the SF for four years (well to him it is) and comes out as a man!

Flash: "Grr!" *looks manly*

Of course, Inertia is jealous of this for some reason –

Inertia: "I'm so jealous!"

-and annoyed because Bart's got the SF inside him-

Inertia: "Cutting me off from it!"

-so he becomes a Velocity 9 junkie and plots revenge.

Inertia: "Oh come on, seriously?"

Yep.

Inertia: "Aw crap. Why am I even continuing this pointless charade anyway? I haven't even been SEEN for two years!"

So Inertia plots all sorts of elaborate and complicated plans in an effort to destroy Bart Allen, including a silly plan involving killing him with a photon cannon...

Flash: *ferries obligatory Linda spin-off to safety* "Stupid kid, I can OUTRUN cannons!"

Inertia: "For some reason, I forgot that."

...and becoming a member of some evil Titans led by Slade and has a very steamy, very brief –

Sungirl: "We lasted for a day!"

-romantic relationship with Sungirl.

Sungirl: "Hi, I'm your obligatory from-the-future girlfriend!"

Inertia: "Sweet."

Slade: "Sorry to cut in on your love life but you have to forget about her and move on to the next panel now."

Inertia: "Wait, what?"

Finally, after gathering the Rogues and tricking them with an unbelievably obvious lie –

Inertia: "I'm going to build this great time-machine that SO totally isn't a machine to steal the Flash's speed!"

Captain Cold: "Duh, okay."

-Inertia has Flash right where he wants him – slow and useless.

Flash: "HEY!"

Then Flash dies because the Rogues panic when he knocks out Inertia.

Inertia: "I didn't get the Speed Force anyway."

Flash: "What? I DIE?"

Everyone (apart from Inertia) is very sad.

Robin: "WAAH! When I get round to it, I'll clone Bart after Superboy *looks all dark and Batman-like*

Spoiler: "And why aren't you cloning me?"

Robin: "Uuuhh..."

Wally West comes back from some loopy planet inhabited by gorilla chums with his family -

Wally: "Just like Planet of the Apes!"

-and finds out Bart's dead.

Wally: "When did THIS happen?"

Bart: "When you chickened out a couple of issues ago!"

He flies into a rage and instead of hunting down the people who ACTUALLY killed him –

Rogues: "Phew!"

-he goes after Inertia instead.

Flash: "Grr!"

Inertia: "Please have mercy?"

Then Flash slows his body to the point where even blinking takes thousands of years and forces him to be a prop in the Flash museum, staring at Bart Allen's statue forever more.

Flash: "Huh, that's unusual. Why didn't I just kill him and make everyone's lives so much better?"

Inertia: "Including mine!"

Because the writers wanted an edge.

Both: "Oh."

After a while, this giant and open plot-device is freed by Professor Zoom Two with lightning –

Prof: "Smashy smashy!"

Inertia: "Free!"

-and Inertia is forced to become his apprentice and Kid Flash.

Inertia: "Drat. The point of this being...?"

Finally, the Rogues corner Thad and Hunter and Libra –

Libra: "I'm this issue's villain who rudely interrupts everyone in the crucial moment to bring you a ginormous plot device!"

-shows up with Weather Wizard's son.

WW: "I have a son? I mean...give me back my son!"

We were shocked too. But Inertia gets impatient with this stalemate and kills the baby. Nice.

Inertia: "Oh great, so now I'm a baby-killer as well? Way to give them ANOTHER reason to kill me."

Then he takes Zoom's speed, leaving him the cripple he once was as gratitude for the Obi-Wan guidance –

Zoom: "Oh cheers for that."

-and becomes Kid Zoom, bringer of tragedy. Or something dramatic like that.

KZ: "Tah dah!"

Then he dies as the Rogues kill him.

Kid Zoom: "Not like I was anything special anyway." *dies*

The ironic thing is that as Thad dies, Bart is brought back to life through a series of complicated events, only a month after his "death" as Kid Flash again.

Bart: "Death is so over-rated these days."

Thad: "What? Oh fine, my life sucks enough anyway."

The end.

Hope you liked it!