My thoughts, my life III
CMO Ratchet
I never thought before now to bother with writing anything down. It's been several years since the last battle in Egypt and every one's been busy with completing the new base been built here on the island and it would be full-scale size for our needs. We've made do with what we had but a proper private area to bath and take care of one's needs would be to put it mildly, a little less strained on the patience. Optimus has had it the hardest and finally said something the other day when he broke the steel bar rail again that he used to hold onto as he stood in the small enclosed wash rack facility. Speaking of him, I've had the chance some time ago to talk with him alone for the first time really since we been here on Earth. We with little active from the Decepticons we've been able to start getting we our lives.
I knew for a long time he's been struggling with this war and too being lonely but he just won't say anything. This time I shared with him about my Moony and how I miss her so much and the good times we had. She was a schoolteacher while I was a senator and too a part time doctor assistant. I told him of Iacon when I was very young and hah, it's funny; before now I really didn't care if we stayed here on Earth and now I really hope we do. But anyways, we traded off comparisons of Iacon and Los Angles, California or some other city somewhere else. Optimus spoke of the music here and how some of it sounds similar to what he grew up listening too; I think that would be best described as the music fad of the 1980's rock and roll. He also been back and forth to the states to visit places there. He was always a very curious mech when he was younger and he found the visit to the Grand Cannon he told me, "breathe taking." The conversation I had between us was about around the time I had just finished repairs to his chest that able him to finally be able to transform into his truck mode since the battle. Well, I started the conversation about when Elita and him right before their bond ceremony and told him how shy and quiet he was and he still is. He chuckled a little and I went on to say to if Elita was here she tell you herself. It is my way of trying to get him to talk. He after becoming leader often felt he's needs and desires were second to us but I never let him get away with not talking to me about something each visit to the med bay.
"I Can't help it," Optimus mumbled softly and slowly a few minutes later.
"I know, but you mustn't feel that you can't share with us sir, and if I might add; it sometimes is good to share and trust me no one here on the base or your friends will ever thing of you differently," I've always reminded him. But he was quiet different when it came to her though; he spoke his mind and worried about her often. Ironhide would pester him about he's fretting over her saying that she was with Chromia and them two see trouble and destroy it for fun. He was so protective of her then and yet she would get so mad at him cause she knew how to take care of her self and often was heard reminding him," that's why you have me as the femme commander Prime!" A few minutes passed and he didn't say anything I knew he was thinking back to when they were together so I did.
"Optimus, I know you and I know that you are lonely as I; they will make it here some day. Them femmes of ours are tough in many ways and I know there wondering about us just as we are of them."
I said that and waited for him to talk and a few minutes later he transformed and walked down the beach a ways and sat down in the sand of all things. That sand is going to get everywhere and in every cog and even down on to our protoforms; that's like what a human would see and think we were naked. He didn't care though, he never minded getting dirty and working with the others to finish building something or another. I followed him and sat with him as he took a deep breathe and said,
" I miss her Ratch, more than ever now. It's so hard at times to see some of the same things here we shared in common and she's not here to enjoy it with me. I know you miss Moonracer just as bad as I miss Elita. Our Son, he was so young when I left; I wonder how he is and if he even knows I am still alive. When I was younger I wanted no part of this war much less be the leader everyone saw in me. I guess I finally came to terms with that but I still miss not being able to be free. To just be in charge of myself and not worry about the things I do. I see so much of Sam in me when I was that young and I am glad he's succeeding in having a normal life and there to raise he's children. But until Megatron is dead I know none of us will be free to move on. He is somewhere plotting to bring revenge upon this planet once again cause of the death of the fallen. I won't rest until he's gone; I once thought that the differences between us some time ago could be settled but, not now or ever and that hurts me the most; we were brothers we grew up together and were the best of friends."
He paused and fiddled with the sand between his hands as we sat there. Looking at him I knew it was still hard for him to find the words to say but, I remained quiet I've wanted him to talk it out for some time now. He's struggle some since Egypt and it been a readjusting period for us all. The sooner more came and especially the femmes, we all will be happier. Don't get me wrong I miss my Moony and our private times. Just as humans our future rest with being able to reproduce and have off springs. But it's more than interfacing or sex as the humans call it; when you give a part of your self to someone and they the same well, it's like being as a half filled cup while the rest of the cup is empty.
"Ratch, I can't and won't fail in the promise I've made to our human allies I can't. Their world, our home now too has so many things I've come to like and enjoy. It kind of reminds me of my youth and yes I must admit it reminds me sometimes of the trouble I would get my self into back then," he said ending with a slight chuckle while slowly standing up.
We walked down the beach a ways more and he talked of some other things troubling him and I also shared some things with him he never knew I knew. He quickly commented, " so that's why you sort of remind me of my mother; she somehow always knew what I was doing or going to do before I was able to tell her," he said and I just laughed.
"Well, I don't see myself playing or trying to play a femme mother to you but, I've known you for so long and know when your hiding something from me. You hate shots yes but you hate even more being cooped up in the med bay unable to do anything worse; setting down and staring at a TV for more than a few hours is impossible with you.
He just cocked he's head and smiled, " yea old friend I guess your right," he said.
" I never was one to just set around even when I was young; I remember always getting into things and my curiosity got me in the worse of trouble and more than once I might add," Optimus said as he smiled at me and then patted my back.
"Thanks Ratch, for been that constant person along with Ironhide that knows me better than myself," Optimus said as he nodded.
I told him, " always youngling, always." We both just then transformed and I followed him back to base. It's hard for him to share and show he too needs to be comforted. When he's sick to his tanks or whatever, it's me he turns to only after however I chew him out for trying to hide it from me. Then he hates other things too just as we all have things we dislike but, anyways at least it's not as hard to find him here as it was back on Cybertron.
And then there's Bumblebee, he's grown up so much. Why I remember when Optimus and Elita found him as a very young sparkling and took him in and raised him. How he would stay close to or gave that look, the one with the sad optics cause he wanted to be carried. There was a many times one or the other brought him along to meetings cause he didn't want to be with any one else. But that was when he was real little though and grew out of that and quickly grew a very curious streak just like his father. Oh and if he didn't want to let go, he didn't and had one pit of a grip for he's age and believe me he still does! He too still has reoccurring nightmares in the middle of the night and still prefers if he is here on base to be recharging near Optimus or Ironhide mostly. But he has moved on with his life and now lives in the states. Optimus and him have come to terms with his decision as we all have but, I know deep down he'll always be a autobot. If Megatron comes back here Bee will be right there I know he will. He's told me some things over the course of the time since the battle. About how he feels about the war and he's friendship with Sam and Mikalea. Mikalea is expecting their second child in about four months and Bee has been right there seeing to it that she does not lift a box. Sam has a baby boy name Orion which is Optimus sparked name and just as curious as can be. His one in a half years old and crawls everywhere. Ha! Sam asked Optimus to be a god father to his son and Optimus for the first time that I can recall was absolutely besides himself but was honored neither the less and that boy has Optimus wrapped around his little fingers too! Bee and Arcee have always been real close too and now that Arcee has made it here she has spent as much time as she can with Bee in the states. We are always picked on him telling him we all knew he had a crush on her but it just makes him mad as pit if you say anything to him in front of others. He's just like Optimus, very shy when it comes to femmes or should I say to Optimus as well as Bee is a very private matter. Now don't get me wrong the boy wants some but he wants to make sure it's right. Pit, Ironhide and I dealt with the same thing with Optimus before he bonded with Elita. They bonded shortly after the war began in a small town about four hundred and sixty-five miles outside of Iacon where Elita grew up and it was safer there than to have it at the base. Optimus was and still is though known privately for his outlandish pranks and has even pull a few lately. Some of the best of pranks you won't think he wouldn't have time to devised but you're wrong. But Bee now, he can get nasty and rank with his and has when he gets really angry with you. I remember the first night we were here on earth and agent Simmons was pissing him off and well; Bee had to go and so he just whipped it out and pissed on him to make the human piss off at him instead. I heard Optimus though, he was privately having a fit with Bee, "Bee! I can't believe you just did that!" He said so appalled over our com system after telling him aloud to stop.
Well, as I said before Bee's now staying with Sam and Mikalea on the East Coast while Sam makes plans to move to Houston, Texas to start he's first job there at NASA space center. My thoughts of my life well they often drift to the others I've cared for thousands of years now. That's my life, helping and being there for the others. I've always had a tender spark for others and was often the but of others pranks and sometimes I got bully and banged up but, I survived. My sparklings I was fortuned enough to see them grow up before the war and too who were grown before I left Cybertron with Optimus. My son Red Alert who bonded with Firestar. She and him were a team and just as happy as Moony and I were at their age and their younglings, my first two grand sons Preceptor and Blaster. My brother, Wheeljack and he's crazy inventions that blow up nearly every time. Ultra Magnus, Hound, Kup, Hot Rod, Optimus and Elita's only sparked youngling. Bluestreak, Cliffjumper they're Hounds two sparklings and he's mate Geneva. She was always with him and they both would love the mud and four wheel terrain wilderness here on earth. Gosh, there's so many more I can't think of but none have made it here as of yet. Optimus has since send more messages out to the stars hoping the others have found this solar system by now but nothing so far. So many others I knew; in fact I was the one there to transfer many of them from their mother's spark chamber into their first shell and saw them slowly but surly come online for the first time and smile well, some of them did, others cried.
The twins they grew up on one of the moon bases so I didn't know them but, they've have had it rough growing up with out parents and living on the streets as the saying goes.
Sideswipe, he's quietly waiting for he's twin brother to make it here. They had left Cybertron together but got separated along the way. He's yet to tell me much and gets angry if I push him about it. They two grew up mostly with out their parental units however, Prowl was their guardian and often he ended up reluctantly dealing the punishment out when they would pull off one of their hilarious pranks and often he became the but of them. Poor, Prowl it was pit for him and he's logic ways; he never could see the un-logic things in life to well. But when he did try it was funny, it's like he missed the punch line in a joke almost every time but, for that laughter it gave me I will always be grateful.
It's sad though I don't envy Optimus when Prowl if and when he does make it here. Prowler, as he was nicknamed and hated it often was very protective of his brother Jazz. It will not be easy for him to deal with the loss as it has not been easy for us especially Bumblebee. Bee was the closes to Jazz, them two well, Jazz was the one Bee became really attached to as he grew older. I think because their personalities were nearly the same. Often it was Jazz that started some fun and usually was the one who would have the whole room laughing or dared to challenged Optimus or Ironhide to a race just to make the fraggers get up and have some fun. He had a way to be able to relax, kick back and chill as they say so easily. His informality around base was a breathe of fresh air and for Optimus it meant so much more. Optimus often told Jazz in private thank you for being you and reminding him how to laugh. Optimus told me shortly after the first battle, "with him gone so to is his laughter and informality I will miss the most," Optimus said so sadly. It was the night we stayed out over the hill looking down over the city of Tranquility where Sam's parents still live. Jazz's style of life was care free and one that Optimus longed for at times. It was hard for him too to lose a dear friend that gave him that ease and too lots of laughter. There is so many more memories I remember of them and yet too, also of my younger years. My parents both worked in the community and my mother taught pre-schoolers how to read and print their names. My father ran a clinic just outside the city of Iacon in a small community called unniteous. The name met 'united us' I grew up there and we were a very united group of people much the way a small county town knows each other by name. I learned from there how to care for others and wanted to be a doctor just like my father was but went into politics first. I was trying to help change the laws and give the high council what I thought they needed to know of what the average mech and femme was dealing with. When seventeen of the twenty-five factories shut down many of the families went with out health care and basic needs. There was a energy stale mate between two producing companies that caused the lay offs and the town was never the same. Many including my self had to move to Iacon. I was very sadden when the last building standing there was destroyed by the war. There was nothing left of that community to show it ever existed. That turn me and was the calling for me to sign up as a milltary doctor and fight against the Decipticons. I became Optimus's CMO and one of his closes officers. I knew him before the war and so did Ironhide. He was Optimus guardian since he was real young. Optimus' s parents died how I don't know or ever have asked, it's just one of those things I feel best left in the past. Many of us come from smaller communities that were destroyed by Megatron and he's quest to gain power and control our destines.
But for all the memories and the war we do have some laughter too. Shortly after returning from the battle in Egypt, Ironhide shared the video with Optimus of the conversation between Lennox and Galloway, needless to say I never ever heard Optimus bust out laughing as loud as I did that day. Them three Lennox, hide and Optimus have gotten to spend more time lately talking of life in general and sharing some chuckles and even a few beers amongst them. I am glad Optimus and Lennox are good friends and I have Sgt. Epps, surprisingly he and I get along well and I often call on him to travel with me into town when we are state side. He by the way he's been married for fourteen years some thing I didn't know, not that I needed to but anyways; he has four children one of which is to start high school next fall. Lennox's wife Sarah is expecting their third child in two weeks. He has Annabelle who is six years old, Dalton who just turn two years and now another on the way. They have been given about ten acres of land here on the other side of the island and have built a nice two story home here with a big red barn. All of he's farming tools and machines have been shipped here as well; Ironhide stays with them most of the time mostly to be with the sparklings. For a rough and tough mech Ironhide sure has a way with younglings and they love him too!
What else can I think of? I sit here at my desk in the med bay typing this while Optimus has left early this morning for another round of meetings with the US government and Ironhide and Sideswipe are overseeing the work on the new base that in a few weeks we be able to move into. It's funny, Optimus sat here for a year working on the project and kept it a secret from us and I thought he was growing reclusive, not! He was studying to be an architect engineer before the war started and has done a fine job with the designs for the new base. I do hope soon the others come, it would make it the fighting and the lost of our home planet worth it. I mean I like it here now and have been to many conferences by some of the leading doctors around the world and I have been given permission by Optimus to begin working with them in bettering their technology. I find my self-useful in a peaceful way much as I had always wanted to be and for that I am grateful to our humans friends.
okay what you think? Ratchet's thoughts here were several years later than the first two stories in this series. review please!