AN: This is my first fic in present tense, so I might accidentally switch back to past. I just had this random idea and had to start writing it. Might be cliché—I haven't been on the fandom in a while. I just really needed to get this out of my system. This is my attempt at a non-humor Hunger Games fic. Hope it turns out okay. I was Team Gale, but he was a jerk in Mockingjay, so I basically became undecided. If you read Drenched in Water, I can't update until my friend returns my copy of CF. He borrowed it from me and has yet to return it. Plus, I don't feel like writing humor right now anyway…
Can you love someone who doesn't love you back?
The words run through Gale's head, cutting him with their sharp edges. Is it really that hard to let go of someone who never loved you? Gale's world starts spinning again and before he knows it, he is on the floor, his head buried in his hands.
He wills himself to look away from that old photograph of her, the one he always keeps in his pocket. He holds it in his hand, cradling it. It is crumpled now, but he can still see the faded picture. They were younger and even then, cameras were a rare luxury in District 12. They were goofing off, messing around. Katniss had a bright smile on her face, a smile that was aimed at Gale and Gale only. Her hair partly obscured her face and just by looking at the picture, Gale can feel the temptation to brush her hair out of her face, to caress her lips.
Those kinds of thoughts are gone from Gale's head now.
Gale's mind is a dark maelstrom of unanswered questions. He can't get his thoughts straight. He feels the wall pressed against his back, the soft blue carpet beneath his dirty shoes, the bright sunlight shining in through the recently cleaned window, but he feels oddly detached from his body. The wall pressed against his back feels like Katniss when he used to lean against her shoulder just to feel her next to him. The carpet beneath his feet strangely reminds him of the grass that covered the ground when he met Katniss in the woods. The sunlight streaming through the window reminds him of how they used to run through the sunlit forest—carefree.
Those days are gone now.
Katniss occupies Gale's thoughts.
Katniss.
Katniss.
Katniss.
It's like a broken record inside his head, a song that won't get out. And trying to forget about it will only make it feel worse, Gale knows that. But he cannot help trying to do whatever it is in his power to do to forget all about Katniss. Because thoughts of her are too painful.
Her beautiful gray eyes.
Her soft pink lips.
They way she seems to glow when she is happy.
As Gale thinks about it, he is hit with a realization…
He doesn't want to forget her.
Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, will always be a part of him.
He wasn't lying to her when he said that after kissing so many girls, he had realized that Katniss was the one he wanted. Still wants her. Even after she executed the president. In fact, he quite possibly loves her more because of that. He has always valued people who stand up to authority. After all, he was important in the rebellion.
But even as Gale is thinking this, another thought hits him. Even if he didn't lie when he told her she's special to him, he did lie about something else.
He knows exactly whose bomb it was that dropped on Prim.
His.
And maybe that guilt will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Coin had talked to him about how to end the war. Gale could only think of one way to end it. So he suggested the bomb. He didn't tell Beetee of course—he would never agree to it. But Gale didn't know that Prim would be killed in the explosion! He didn't know…
He doesn't know a lot of things.
Gale grits his teeth and balls his hands into fists, forgetting that he has a picture of him and Katniss in his hand. Gale hears the soft sound of tearing paper and looks down at his hand. The photograph has ripped. There is a small tear from the bottom of the paper up to about one-fourth of the length.
It is in between Katniss and Gale, separating them.
Gale wonders what will happen if he tears the picture in half completely. Separating Gale and Katniss in the picture forever, unless he tapes it back together. And everyone knows tape doesn't make everything perfect again. Broken relationships cannot be fixed with an adhesive, though Gale wishes they could be…
Can you love someone who doesn't love you back?
It is so obvious that she doesn't love him back. The way she looks at Peeta…she will do anything for him, and Gale knows it. She may not be able to admit it to herself, but any outsider can see that she loves him. There is a particular look in her eye she gets when she looks at Peeta.
Loves him more than Gale.
Can you love someone who doesn't love you back?
Can you?
Can you, Gale?
Maybe…he only loves her because she is really the only girl available in District 12. Every other girl liked him for his looks and when he kissed them, he didn't feel a thing. None of those sparks girls are always talking about. No profound realization that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with them.
With Katniss…it hadn't been like that. She had been like a fresh wind on a hot summer day. He had honestly thought she would be the one he would spend forever with, even if that sounded cheesy as hell.
He loved Katniss. But does he still love her? He thinks he does. He won't be able to tell unless he sees her and talks to her again, since he so obviously screwed up their last conversation. He wants to see Katniss. He'll be able to decide his feelings for her then. But now, all he has are his thoughts. These thoughts that lead him nowhere. It might be better to not think at all.
Can you love someone who doesn't love you back?
But does Gale love her?
If there had been no Hunger Games, would there be this distance between Gale and Katniss? Or would they live like happily ever after like the perfect storybook couple? The Games forced both of them to grow up. If he had a choice, would he still choose for Katniss to be reaped?
Like with so many other things, he doesn't know the answer.
There seems to be a wide chasm between Gale and Katniss now. The new Katniss is not the one he knew and fell in love with. He doesn't know the new Katniss. He has two choices: take the time to know her or just move on.
He doesn't know what he should do.
Does she love Peeta so much that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him?
His thoughts take a different turn now. Instead of focusing on Katniss, he thinks about Katniss and Peeta's relationship. Did he feel jealous before the war started? Yes. Does he feel jealous? Gale metaphorically reaches into his soul to try to find the answer to that question. The thing is, when he thinks about Peeta and Katniss, he doesn't feel possessive of Katniss anymore. Instead, what he feels is…
Relief.
Yes, relief is the right word for it.
That is the one thing he knows the answer to because the relief he feels is so immense. Gale wants Katniss to be happy. And if he can't give Katniss happiness, he wants Katniss to choose someone like Peeta, not, for example, Haymitch.
As if Gale's thoughts conjured him, Peeta suddenly appears, walking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets.
"Gale, are you okay?" he asks, looking at Gale worriedly. Today is one of Peeta's better days, when he is not plagued by his altered memories. Katniss killing Coin seems to speed up his recovery a little, and no one knows why. Perhaps with Katniss so unstable, he feels the need to be the sane one. Peeta eyes the picture in Gale's hand warily.
"Hey, Peeta." Gale forces himself to make his voice neutral. He hasn't talked to Peeta for a while, trying to avoid him in case he starts talking about Katniss. Gale knows he won't be able to handle that.
"What are you doing here?" Peeta says, looking around, gesturing at their surroundings. Gale supposes it is weird for him to pick a random hallway and just sit there against a wall.
"I'm sitting. What do you think?" Gale says harshly. Peeta flinches and Gale begins to regret his words. "I'm just stressed right now, okay?"
To Gale's surprise, Peeta sits down next to him. He stares at his feet, not making eye contact with Gale. "Why would you be stressed? Katniss loves you. You two can live happily ever after," Peeta says bitterly.
Gale begins to laugh, as Peeta's words match his thoughts from before. His laughs aren't really humorous—they are just a way for Gale to let out his emotions. Peeta looks at him a bit strangely. "What are you laughing about?"
"It's just—Katniss doesn't love me. She loves you," Gale says. And as he says the words, he begins to accept them. He plays memories of his time with Katniss in his mind. Happy memories.
But that's all they are.
Memories.
His love for Katniss is nothing but a memory now, to be cherished occasionally. But memories are just…memories. They will have no great impact on him in the future. And he can move on.
Peeta snorts. "Of course not. I'm unstable and crazy. You're…not," Peeta says, glancing at Gale.
"But you love her. I don't. Not anymore." Gale stands up, and Peeta looks at him with wide eyes.
"What?" Peeta says, surprised.
"You heard me. I don't love her anymore. She's yours. You're the one she wants anyway," Gale says confidently, firm in his beliefs.
"You sure?" Peeta asks uncertainly.
"I'm sure." Gale glances down at his hand, which is still clutching the ripped photograph of him and Katniss. Without giving himself time to think about it, he rips he photograph down the middle completely, bringing them apart.
Relief.
This action makes him feel relieved. As if a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He stares at the two halves. Katniss and him. Apart. Nothing will be able to make that photograph exactly the way it had been again.
Absolutely nothing.
Strangely, Gale is comforted by that thought.
"Treat her right or you're going to be hearing from me," Gale threatens seriously. Peeta nods.
Gale hands the half of the picture with Katniss on it to Peeta. "I'm letting her go. Keep her safe," he commands. "I hope you two will be happy," he adds quietly.
Katniss is Gale's first love and always will be, but there will be others. Others he can love and want to be with forever.
Others who love him too.
Katniss may have been the Mockingjay in the revolution, but Gale feels like he has grown wings of his own.
Can you love someone who doesn't love you back?
Hell yeah, you can try. But if they are indifferent to you, you might as well just spread your wings and fly away. Move on.
And that is what Gale does as he walks away from Peeta.
Away from Katniss.
Away from the small part of him that will always love her.
AN: Not very good. I just needed some sort of closure for Gale/Katniss. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO CLOSURE IN THE BOOK. Huh…some of this is really awkward, but I'm just not used to writing in present tense.
Review?