Because my Rose/Doctor shipper heart needed this. Yeah, I don't own Doctor Who, obviously.
One last trip. I can feel it, and I know that there won't be another after this. One last trip to see the person I have most wanted to see all this time.
I won't talk to her. Just to see her again will be enough, for hers to be the last face I see before I change completely. How odd it is that it is also the first I saw in this body. She has been with me from start to finish.
She will be here soon, but I don't have much time left. If I can only hold on a little longer…
Then I hear her voice, and I have to lean against the wall because I am so unprepared. She sounds just the same; a little younger, perhaps, but the exact same sound that I got used to hearing every day. I can't believe I ever could have just taken for granted the sound of her voice.
"…Get rid of him, Mum, he's useless!"
"Listen to you, with a mechanic," Jackie retorts testily, and I smile a little. The two of them slow to a stop not far from me, but all I can see of her is the back of her pink coat and her floppy purple hat. Jackie continues, "Be fair, though. My time of life, I'm not going to do much better."
Rose reaches out to her mother's shoulder. "Don't be like that. You never know, there could be someone out there."
She was always so kind, even to people who didn't deserve her kindness. No matter what, she would always reach out a hand to whoever needed it. Often, that person was me.
"Maybe, one day," I hear Jackie sigh. Then her face brightens. "Happy New Year!"
"Happy New Year!" Rose exclaims. They hug quickly, then Rose pulls away and says sternly, "Don't stay out all night."
"Try and stop me," Jackie mutters, walking in the opposite direction. And Rose is walking past me, getting farther away by the second, and I haven't even seen her face.
A sudden pain rips through me, and it is all I can do not to cry out; my hand reaches for a grip on the wall. I must make some involuntary noise, though, because I hear her footsteps stop.
"You all right, mate?" she asks, and I look up.
Immediately, a thousand memories flood my mind. It is the same face as the shop girl whose hand I grabbed and told to run; the same face that watched in horror as I regenerated before her eyes, that was there through all of our adventures, through the good and the bad. The same face, streaked with tears, of the girl that told me she loved me on Bad Wolf Bay and faded before my eyes before I could get the words out myself. The face that haunted my dreams and refused to let me go.
"Yeah," I manage.
"Too much to drink?" She sounds half concerned and half amused.
"Something like that." I can't tear my eyes from her. I wonder if my intense stare has started to unnerve her.
"Maybe it's time you went home," she says, her voice gentle.
"Yeah," I reply. But she doesn't know, because how could she? She is home to me. No matter how much time passed, no matter how many new people I met, I was always running back to her in the end.
"Anyway," she says, smiling widely. "Happy New Year."
"And you," I say because I can think of nothing else to say. Still smiling, she turns and starts to walk away.
"What year is this?" I blurt out. I can't just let her go like this, and I have to know. She spins back around, slightly startled.
"Blimey, how much have you had?" she laughs.
"Well…" I shrug, because her laugh has caught me off guard.
"2005, January the first," she says slowly, as if talking to a young child.
"2005?" I repeat. She nods, hugging her arms, looking like she would rather be inside than talking to a strange drunk man in the street. "Tell you what," I say. "I bet you're gonna have a really great year."
She smiles, bemused. "Yeah?"
I force a smile in return, and all I can think about is that I would give almost anything to switch places with my metacrisis; to be able to spend the rest of my life by her side. Because that face…I could spend eternity looking at it and never grow tired of it. I would weather fire and storms and the end of time for this girl, and she has no idea how she has saved me. She is the reason I am alive – not just living, but actually alive. She is the best mistake of my life, and there is no way I can regret falling in love with her. Because she is the most precious human being in the universe to me.
She starts to turn away, then looks back, still grinning. "See you," she says cheerfully.
I am drinking her in, because this is the last time I will see that face. That beaming, radiant face, cheeks flushed in the cold, blonde hair blowing in her eyes. I take that image and tuck it away into my mind, where it will be safely preserved forever. Every tiny movement, every breath, I memorize.
She turns away from me and jogs toward the door, and I watch, the smile frozen on my face. I love her so much. I love the way her hap flops on her head as she runs, I love the way she pulls open the door and glances at me one last time. Rose Tyler. I love her. Why couldn't I ever say it to her face? I love her.
And I hate it, every moment that I have to spend away from her, every wretched day and night that passes without her by my side. It's not fair that I have to go on living and breathing for all eternity alone, because Rose Tyler, I would give up eternity for you. To be with you, to live and die with you, I would give anything. But now I am truly alone. And without her, I will never be the same.
My Rose. She disappears up the stairs and I know this is it. I have put it off long enough, and now I must lose the part of me that belonged completely to her. Pain shoots through me again, and for a moment I pause, closing my eyes and sending her one last goodbye.
Brb crying over The End of Time Part 2