Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the amazing tv show, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, nor do I own the Rascal Flatts song "I'm Movin' On."
A/N: This takes place before and after Elliot signs his divorce papers...set to the song "I'm Movin' On" by the Rascal Flatts. It's my first fanfic story so I hope you enjoy! Please leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!
I'm Movin' On
Elliot Stabler sat on his couch, the divorce papers sprawled out on the coffee table before him. He knew what he needed to do, but he wasn't quite sure that he was ready to do it. He didn't know if he was ready to accept that his marriage was truly over. He was afraid of being alone.
As if on cue, his phone rang. When he heard the voice on the other end of the line, his nerves relaxed for the first time that evening.
"Hey, Elliot, it's Olivia. I'm outside. We need to talk, are you busy?"
"Uh…no…I'm not busy," he lied. "Come on up."
He hung up the phone and got up to unlock the door. After that, he slumped back down on the couch and continued staring at the papers, the red x with the "sign here" loomed in front of him. He was jolted back to reality when he heard the knock at the door. "It's open, Liv," he called out. She entered his apartment and was startled to see his divorce papers already laid out on the table. "Does he know what I came here to say?" she thought. He looked up at her and she could see the sadness in his eyes. She heard the defeat in his voice when he said, "What did you need to talk about, Liv?"
"Elliot…" she started. "El, I'm not really sure how to put this so I'm just going to come out and say it. Kathy called me today and told me she really needed to talk to me, so I agreed to meet with her and she asked me to talk to you about signing the divorce papers. She wants you to know that it's okay for you to move on—that it would be best for everyone if you moved on."
Elliot just stared at her in bewilderment. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Kathy talked to you about this? Why didn't she just come to me? This is, after all, our divorce."
Olivia could tell he was getting angry, so she waited a minute before she responded. She wanted to make sure she had exactly the right words to say to him. She didn't want to cause him anymore pain—he had already suffered enough.
"El, I know it's hard to hear, but I think Kathy is right…" she hesitated. "I think you need to move on. I know it's hard to let go, but it will be better for everyone if you just do. You and Kathy have grown apart…it happens. People change, and sometimes those changes..." she faltered, "…you just have to accept that you have both changed too much. You can't continue living like this. It's hurting you and it's hurting your kids." She took his hand in hers and looked directly into his eyes to make sure he was listening. "Now, I know that I can't tell you what to do, but you need to make a decision. You need to do what you think--what you know--is best."
After Olivia had finished saying what she needed to say, she leaned over and gave Elliot a comforting, supportive hug. "I'm going home but call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay," Elliot replied. Olivia stood up and was opening the door to leave when Elliot stopped her.
"Hey, Liv?" he asked.
"Yeah, El?" she turned and looked at him.
He let out a small sigh. "Thanks," he replied, smiling a little to attempt to reassure her that he would be okay.
"No problem, El. Remember, call if you need anything." He nodded and said he would.
After she left, Elliot realized what he had to do. He knew he had to sign the papers. He didn't want to cause anyone any more pain. With a shaky hand, he picked up the pen and signed his name on the line, finalizing his divorce.
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long.
I'm movin' on.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Elliot got behind the wheel of his car and mechanically drove the route to his old house. For awhile, he just sat in the driveway in his car and allowed his mind to wander. He remembered all of the memories he had had with his family in that house. He became more depressed as he considered that he would not be part of the new memories made in that house. That part of his life was now over—he didn't belong there anymore, not with Kathy anyway.
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I've never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong.
I'm movin' on.
After gathering up enough courage, Elliot got out of his car and walked up the steps to the porch. He put the papers into the mailbox and raised his hand to knock on the door. He paused for a second, hesitant about what this would mean. Finally, he knocked and rushed back to his car. Just before he could get in and drive away, Kathy opened the door and noticed Elliot in the driveway and the papers in the mailbox. She looked at him and he just stared back at her intensely before getting into his car and driving for home. It was done.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
When Elliot got back to his apartment, he walked in and sat down on the couch, allowing his head to slump back and rest on the back of the couch. As he sat there and thought about what he had just done, tears began pouring down his cheeks. "What am I doing?" he thought, wiping his face with his hands. "Who am I kidding? I can't do this alone. I don't want to do this alone." He picked up his phone and dialed Olivia's number.
"Benson," she said groggily into the phone. He immediately felt bad because he had clearly woken her up.
"Liv, I'm sorry…never mind…I shouldn't have called…" he trailed off. She could hear his muffled sobs in the background as he tried not to let her know he was crying.
"El, don't be sorry. I'm coming over. I'll be there in ten minutes." With that, she hung up her phone, grabbed her keys, and ran out the door.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
When Olivia arrived at Elliot's building, she rushed up the stairs and knocked on his door. When he opened the door, she stepped in and wrapped her arms around him in a protective, comforting embrace. Elliot's grief overwhelmed him and he allowed himself to sob into her shoulders. "Shh…It'll be okay, El. Everything's going to be okay," she told him as she caressed his head, attempting to comfort him as a mother would comfort her child.
"Come on, El. You should go lay down. You need to relax and get some rest." He allowed her to lead him back to his bedroom and as he lay down, she pulled the covers up to his stomach and sat down in a chair next to his bed. She held his hand in hers until his eyes began to close. She leaned over, kissed his forehead, and whispered "It'll be alright, El, I promise." When she thought he was asleep, she got up to leave, but was startled when Elliot reached out for her and took her hand. "Will you stay with me, Liv? Please? I don't want to be alone. Please?" he pleaded.
I'm movin' on.
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantee, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone.
"Sure, El," she replied. She lay down on her side next to him and lovingly rubbed his back until he drifted back to sleep. As his eyes began to close, Elliot knew that everything really was going to be okay. He knew that as long as he had Olivia, he would never be alone and that he would be able to get though anything—they could do anything as long as they were together.
I sold what I could and I packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road.
I'm movin' on.