A/N: Everybody should already know that I own nothing, but just in case, here's you're reminder.
Randy grunted as he threw his boots back into his bag. The fuckers could have at least told him he was suspended before he started getting ready for the show that night. Hell, a phone call before he ever got on the god damn plane would have been wonderful. But no, they, in there infinite wisdom, had decided to make him get here and mostly ready to walk down the ramp before they opened their worthless mouths with that horrible news.
"Guess this means you're using again aren't you?" a soft voice called to him from the doorway. Randy knew that voice, he lived for that voice. And now he couldn't even bring himself look at the man it belonged to, terrified to see the disappointment and sadness that would be there when he looked into those soulful eyes. Just like all the other times before. He'd fucked up and he knew it.
And unfortunately, so did Punk.
"Why do you keep doing this Randy? To yourself, to me, to us?" The sorrow filling those words was heartbreaking. Randy didn't have a response for that. All he could do was hang his head and let the shame wash over him as he stood with his back to his lover.
Time seemed to slow as the silence stretched on, finally being broken by the sound of a door closing quietly. He knew Punk had left when he heard that sound, and he could only hope that it wasn't for the last time. How many more chances was the man going to give him?
Punk entered the catering area as a hush fell over the roster. How many times had he experienced this? Those pitying looks, the sudden silence when he walks through the door.
He'd lost count. After all, it had been five years hoping, wanting him to change, and it didn't seem to be happening.
Even though he knew everyone expected him to be upset and freaking out, he just didn't see the point. It wasn't the first time he had been down the path with his partner.
Besides that, he already knew it was happening. The subtle changes in his mood, the sneaking out when he thought Punk was asleep, snapping at him over little things. And then there were the pill bottles he stumbled upon while searching Randy's bag.
He knew very well what was happening, he just hadn't wanted to admit it. But now he didn't have a choice.
A heavy sigh escaped from Punk as the silence stretched on while he was filling his plate. Every second causing the weight on his heart to increase. He turned and headed to an empty table, taking in the stares with his head held high. Of course that didn't stop the wave of depression running over him when he finally settle into his seat.
Just as he picked up his fork, a blur of color entered his peripheral, right before a muscular body filled the chair next to him.
Cena.
Punk narrowed his eyes when he was flashed those famous dimples, but nothing further was said or done between the two men as they ate their meal in silence. He wasn't stupid. He was well aware that John was there to support him, but they had been friends long enough for the older man to know that didn't require words for Punk.
Punk continued to contemplate his problem as he took bite after bite. The ironic part of it all was that Cena was probably the best person to show his support. Hell, he had been friends with Randy before Punk had ever met the two. If anyone should be there for him, it should be John.
After both men had finished their meal, Punk looked at John, a simple "Thank you" passing his lips. John only nodded, acknowledging that he had been heard. But just after standing up and grabbing his plate, he heard that compelling voice break into his thought process.
"I know it's hard Punk, but you knew what you were getting into when you first got with him. Just remember that." John didn't look up from his food while he gave his small bit of advice, but that somehow made what he was saying sink in a little further. Punk stood there frozen for a few seconds before gulping down the emotion that constricted his throat. Not knowing what to say or do, he carried his trash to the bin and promptly left room the stifling room.
He managed to make it to his private locker room before the tears started silently flowing down his face. Everyone out there might already know how much this was all hurting him, but he would be damned before he let them see just how much.
Settling on the bench with his head hanging, Punk rapidly gulped in air trying to get his wayward emotions under control. His thoughts drifted back over to what Cena had said to him just before his exit. The worst part of it all was that he was right. He had known exactly what he was getting when he had fallen for the troubled man.
It's wasn't a healthy relationship to the outside world, especially in the beginning. But it actually has been a blessing in disguise, especially for Randy. He had been spiraling down, he'd already overdosed once and was well on his way to doing it again. He should have been a lost cause, he should have just been given up on, but that just wasn't an option for Punk. Something about Randy pulled him towards the out of control superstar. He dove head first into the storm that was Orton's life and he grabbed hold of him and refused to let go. Randy had told him on many occasions that he had saved him. That he kept saving him time and time again.
The buzzing caught his attention. He knew it would be his lover's face displayed on the screen when he pulled his phone from his pocket. But he couldn't handle a conversation with him right now.
Yes, Punk had been doing this for five years but he didn't know if he could do it anymore.
A/N: Yes I know this is short, but I really want this to be a multiple chapter story. But before I got my hopes up, I thought I would post this opening chapter to get a feel for people's interest. I hope it's something at least a few people enjoy. Please let me know, whether with a review, PM, favorite or follow. As always, thanks for reading!