A/N: This was the most creative title I could think of for this. Well, most creative one that is obvious when you first read the title... I might use the other ones I thought of as chapter titles. I do not own desperate housewives...and I do not promote or condone drug use...ha ha. I also took the liberty of picking a state for the show...and it will be...uhhh Maine. Wait no, they've never had snow not even at christmas which is LAME. WTF state do they even live in? I'm gonna say... fuck it, California. Because clearly, where else would they live... ? :S

Mary Jane's Lane

"Tom?"

"Just a sec!"

"Why is the door locked?" Lynette asked, confused.

Tom opened the door, "What's up?"

"I said why is the door locked."

"Oh, sorry," Tom said looking down at his feet. "Didn't know it was."

" 'kay..."

Lynette walked into the room and proceeded to change into her pajamas. She noticed the window was open, but didn't think twice about it. She threw herself onto the bed, took out her hair tie and tossed it on her bedside table. She looked over at Tom who looked really calm. This did nothing but make her frustrated because she had a terrible day. Well, frustrated would be the wrong word. She was irritated.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Huh?" he asked before answering, "oh, no reason. Just happy it's the end of the day. And now you're here," he smiled and attempted to kiss her cheek but accidently brushed his lips against her neck.

"Awh."

Lynette sighed after a few seconds and looked up, thinking. It was then that Tom thought something may be bothering her.

"Something wrong?"

"No," Lynette lied and shut her eyes.

"Okay," Tom accepted.

Lynette raised her eyebrow and looked over at him. He looked like he was daydreaming, which was weird because if he was tired he would just normally fall right to sleep.

"Okay, yes."

"Oh...okay?" Tom said with a slight inflextion, forgetting the question he just asked her. Lynette furrowed her eyebrows and punched him on the shoulder.

"What was that for?"

"For...no reason. But seriously Tom, today was awful."

"What? Why?"

"Because," she began, "Kim is getting lazier by the day at work with her attitude towards the customers and bussing her tables. Andrew shows up pretty much whenever he wants, but I can't fire him because he's Bree's son...and I'm pretty sure that Austin is coming to work high all the time now, but I can't prove it and I also can't fire him because he's Edie's nephew."

"Oh."

"So?"

"So, we'll talk to them?"

"I've done that...obviously. And obviously it's not working!"

"Well, we'll figure it out. Everything will be fine," Tom reassured her, patting her knee. "Everything will be fine. You're fine."

"Yeah..."

"You know what we should do?"

"What?" Lynette asked in a half interested tone, still thinking about her problem.

"We should just, like, turn the whole place into a new theme, you know?"

"No...I don't..."

"I mean like 80's style or something."

Lynette burst out laughing then kissed him. "You always know how to cheer me up."

"I'm serious," Tom said calmly.

"What?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't that be awesome?"

Still wondering if he was joking, she studied his face. She looked at his eyes - not only were they dreamy ... they were red. And puffy. Lynette rolled over and smelt his shirt.

"Are you high?"

"...what?"

"Are you high?"

"No..."

"Tom," Lynette crossed her arms.

"Okay maybe a little."

"Tom!"

"What? I found it in the bathroom at work, okay? I brushed up against Austin's coat and it fell out."

Lynette slapped him before jumping out of the bed. "What? W-what? That's so... lame."

"That's not what you used to say."

"That was one time, okay?" Lynette defended, thinking back to a night when they had been dating for about a year.

"Well..." Tom said as if he was about to correct her.

"And besides, smoking pot is so incredibly lame after you're twenty five."

"C'mon babe..."

"Tom! The kids are in the next room. And the next room and the next room. You do remember that we have four, right?"

"Of course...and I love all of them equally. Except for the twins, because I can never tell them apart."

"What? That doesn't even make sen - Tom! Throw the rest out."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Lynette crossed her arms and glared down at him. He didn't move so she kicked the bed.

"Oh, now?"

She bit her lip, angry and honestly at a lack for words of what to say. She never thought this would happen. Although Tom had a lot of quirks and did a lot of random things she didn't expect, she certainly never thought he would smoke pot...in their bedroom, of all places.

Realizing that she wasn't joking around, Tom went to the dresser and pulled out the plastic bag and threw it in the trash can beside the bed. "Oh, I guess I shouldn't put it there..."

Lynette made a sound halfway between laugh and a snort. "Put it..." Lynette stopped, realizing she never actually had thrown it out before. "Well, just at least, I don't know, put it some place the kids won't find it then sneak it into Austin's bag at work?"

"Fine, fine," Tom agreed. He smiled at her. She didn't smile back.

"Why?"

"I told you why.."

"No, I mean did you smoke it?"

"I don't know, it's been a while."

"Exactly...because we're not kids anymore Tom. This is ridiculous."

"Nooo," Tom defended. "It's fun." Lynette shook her head, "and relaxing - a little relaxing isn't harmful."

Lynette shrugged, not denying that part. "Besides, you look like you might need it," he added.

"No, I don't. What i need is a hot bath and then an eight hour sleep. Good night, Tom."

Lynette walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She wasn't that mad, really. Well, she was torn between being weirded out and mad. She decided to just let it go. Afterall, it was just the one time and Tom was right, a little relaxing never hurt anyone.

Lynette slipped into the hot bath she ran for herself and released a calm sigh.

Yeah, a little relaxing never hurt anyone...

Hahah. Let me know what you think, hit the button !