After seeing 'Square Roots,' I've been in sort of a Spongebob mood. So enjoy my first Spongebob fic (on this site.) I'm sorry if somebody already did this (I feel like someone did...)
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I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna jump. All these demons in my head, the people in my life...I'm jumping!
It all started earlier that day. The scallops were chirping, and sunrise was upon Bikini Bottom. Squidward Tentacles was still sleeping, until being woken by the booming sound of his alarm clock. Exhausted, Squidward slammed his tentacle on the snooze button. He tossed to the other side of his bed to get a few extra minutes of sleep. But his eyes bulged open when he saw Spongebob Squarepants on the other side of his bed.
"Squiiiiidwaaaaaard." Spongebob said.
Startled, Squidward leaped out of his bed, screaming. "Spongebob!" Squidward exclaimed. "What are you doing in my bed!?"
"Well I was waiting for you to wake up, and I guess we got kinda sleepy."
"WE!?"
"Oh, yeah! Patrick's here too!"
On that note, Patrick Star climbed up from under the bed. "Hey," Patrick said, "I hope you don't mind I used your toothbrush."
By then, Squidward was seething with rage. He grabbed the two of them and launched them out the window. As the two plopped down onto the sandy floors, the only laughed. Squidward got madder. "Can't I have just ONE DAY where I don't go completely out of my mind!" he shouted, then sighed. "I better just get ready for work..." With that, Squidward changed from his pajamas to his brown shirt, and put on his Krusty Krab hat.
Squidward trudged down the long road to his workplace. "Everyday it's the same old thing," he said. "Spongebob and Patrick annoy me and I get yelled at by Mr. Krabs and the customers! My life is a living hell..."
"Hey, Squidward! Wait!" shouted Sandy Cheeks as she raced down the road to Squidward, a strange ray gun in hand. "Just the person I wanted to see! I have an invention I wanna try out on you. This ray gun here will wipe out any bad breath a person has and replace with the most fantastic smelling breathe ever!"
Squidward looked insulted. "Are you implying that I have bad breathe!"
"Come on Squidward, it couldn't hurt to have your breathe smell a little better, right?"
"Well, good looks aren't enough to keep the public wanting more. Alright, hit me with you best shot!"
Squidward opened his mouth wide. Sandy aimed her ray into Squidward's mouth, but something horrible happened. The exact opposite of what should have happened happened. Squidward took one whiff of his breathe and almost fainted. "AH! I smell horrible! What did you do!?"
"I must have done something wrong. Hold on Squidward, I'll be back with a cure soon!"
With that, Sandy left, leaving Squidward to go to work with horrible breathe. As he walked over, Squidward brushed his teeth as many times as he could, but nothing would help his horrible breathe. As he entered the Krusty Krab, Eugene Krabs scowled at Squidward.
"Mr. Squidward!" he shouted. "Where have you been!? You're 20 minutes late for work!"
Squidward sighed. "I got sidetracked, Mr. Krabs."
"Well don't-" Squidward's bad breathe traveled into Mr. Krab's nostrils. He immediately clamped his nose shut. "GAH! Jumping jellyfish! What did you eat?"
"Nothing, Mr. Krabs..." Squidward walked over and climbed into his work space, got out a magazine, and began his lazy 'work' routine. "I'm sure this day can't get any worse."
By the end of the day, Squidward and Spongebob walked home together, Squidward covered in food and drenched in soda. "This town is full of indecent slobs!" Squidward shouted, scraping off the food on him. "It's as if nobody in this town has had bad breathe before!"
"Uh - huh." Spongebob said, barely paying attention. Squidward sighed, and Spongebob's nostrils picked up the smell. Spongebob took his finger and pressed his nose into his head. As they got to the neighborhood, Spongebob walked over to his house. "OK Squidward, see ya later!" he said. Squidward just trudged into his house, feeling more awful than ever before.
"I can't take this anymore..." Squidward said, curled up in his bed. "Every day its the same thing. Every time something good happens to me, Spongebob has to come and ruin it! I will never be happy for as long as I live! So maybe its time...to stop living." Squidward couldn't believe what he had just said. But he knew that he had to do it...
That night Squidward walked to Scallop Bridge, the closest at highest bridge in Bikini Bottom. Squidward climbed up to the railing and looked down. He almost fainted from how high it was. He took a deep breathe. I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna jump. Squidward thought, All these demons in my head, the people in my life...I'm jumping!
"Squidward, don't jump!" a voice shouted.
"Ah, he said it! He said it!" said Peter Griffen from Family Guy, pointing at the figure. (I'm so sorry, I couldn't resist XD!)
"Huh? Who said that?" Squidward said, He turned around and saw a spitting image of himself, only wearing white robes and had wings. "a - are you my continuance?"
"Let's see, white robes, wings. Who else could I be kelp for brains!?" the continuance said. "My name is Torrin."
"Hey, I don't think I like your attitude, Torrin! Aren't continuance supposed to be nice! And what kind of name is Torrin?"
"Look, I didn't come here to argue with you, I came here to talk you out of this."
"Well you can't. All my life I've done nothing but be miserable! Not even moving helped! What could you possibly do to make me change my mind!?"
"I can show you what the world would be like if you were never born."
"Yeah, like anything different will happen if I'm not here!"
"Look, you're coming with me!" With that, Torrin snatched Squidward. And with a slash through time, the two were transported to a busy street in Bikini Bottom.
"Huh?" Squidward said confused. "Wh - where - AH!" A boat mobile was dashing straight for the two. Squidward flinched, but Torrin did nothing. The boat simply phased through them, leaving Squidward confused. "What just happened?"
"This is a world where Squidward Tentacles doesn't exist. Nobody can see or feel you."
Squidward looked around. "So? Nothing seems different to me."
"That's where your wrong. Why don't we start with the Krusty Krab?" Torrin grabbed Squidward and together they flew up into the air. Squidward kept looking around for anything that might be different because he doesn't exist. Nothing. That is, until they hovered over the Krusty Krab. The big sign was on fire, the place was a wreck, and there was a huge crowd outside. "What happened to the Krusty Krab!?" Squidward shouted in shock.
"Because you never worked at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs got, um, other employees."
The two phased through the roof of the Krusty Krab and landed. Customers were in a frenzy, breaking things. Mr. Krabs was seen pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the cash register, looking exhausted. He turned toward two teenagers smoking in anger. "I thought I told you two that there's a no smoking rule in here! You're teaching young fanfic readers a bad message!" Mr. Krabs shouted.
"You're the boss of us, old man!" shouted one teenager.
"Actually, I am your boss! Get back to work!!"
Just then, a health inspector walked into the room, blew a whistle, made the crowd settle down, and made them leave. Mr. Krabs sighed with relief. "Thank you kind sir. With all those customers destroying me restaurant, I thought I'd have to close down for sure."
"Actually, you have to close this rat trap down." said the health inspector. "We're closing down this restaurant."
"WHAT!?" The twosome left the Krusty Krab, along with Torrin and Squidward watching, as the health inspector put a lock on the Krusty Krab, leaving Mr. Krabs to weep. Squidwards eyes fixed onto the Chum Bucket. He was shocked at how clean and successful it look. "How did that happen?" Squidward asked.
"With Mr. Krab's hands tied, Plankton was able to steal the Krabby Patty formula and became a food tycoon." Torrin said.
"Ok...What else you got?"
Torrin snatched Squidward and they flew up high once more. Torrin guided him to a part of town Squidward didn't recognize. It was sketchy. When he existed, there wasn't bad neighborhood in sight in Bikini Bottom. They floated down to the surface to a building hidden in the shadows. "Where are we?" Squidward asked.
"This is the part of town the don, Patrick Star, rules."
Squidward's eyes bulged. "Patrick is the don of a mafia!?" Instead of answering, Torrin made Squidward visible again, and sent him into the building. Once inside, Squidward saw Patrick in don - like clothes, petting a evil looking snail, looking unpleased. There was a fish shivering in the middle of the room, and muscular fish mafia members surrounded him/
"You have been late 3 times. I have been counting. (Reference to David Chappelle's comedy bit)" Patrick said. "It looks like you have to be taught a lsson, Dale." Patrick snapped his 'fingers' and the muscular mafia fish started to inch closer to Dale.
"N - No wait Patrick!" Dale said. "Just give me one more day! I promise!"
"Promises Dale. I've heard it all before. Get him!"
The mafia fish the pounced onto Dale and beat him up. After the work was down, they threw him out the window. Squidward watched in horror. Oh crap... Squidward thought.
Patrick removed him focus from the window and glared at Squidward. "May I help you??" Patrick said.
Squidward was chocked up. "Well, I - I - I was just, um, well, um -"
"I do not like fish that waste my time. Boys!"
With that the mafia fish pounced onto Squidward, beating him up like Dale and throwing him out the window. Torrin appeared to him and he was furious. "Torrin! Why didn't you do anything!?" he shouted.
Torrin didn't answer. "Have you seen enough?"
"Well...Spongebob! Where's Spongebob!? What happened to him!?"
Torrin sighed. "I'll transport you to him." He grabbed onto Squidward and he was transported to his neighborhood. His house was not in sight, and Patrick's rock had no antenna and nobody in it. Squidward fixed his eyes on Spongebob's pineapple. It was rotting. Squidward slowly approached the door. He turned the wheel and opened the door. "Spongebob?" he said.
He walked around the house. Broken thing were scattered on the floor, water was everywhere, and the only sign of Gary was his cracked shell. After a while, he could faintly hear moaning coming from Spongebob's room. Squidward nervously walked up the stairs. In fear, Squidward opened the door to Spongebob's room. "Spongebob?" He saw Spongebob in a feeble position, staring at the wall in the corner of his room. Squidward approached him and he turned around.
"Whoa!" Spongebob shouted. "The pizza guy!" He got up and leaned on Squidward. "I've been waiting for you for 2 years. Wh - Where you been man?" He filter feed.
"Uh, I'm not the pizza guy..."
Spongebob looked angry. "Well then get out of here! I don't need no stranger in my house!" He then returned to the corner in his same position. "Sponge?" Squidward said. No response. He just ignored Squidward. So he left.
Once outside, Squidward looked up in sorrow. "Please Torrin!" he shouted, on his knees. "I want to go back! Please! I've learned my lesson! ...Huh?" Squidward saw a brick fall from the sky. It was a direct hit on his head, and he was out cold. That morning, Squidward awoke lying on the rail of Scallop Bridge. He climbed off the rail, looked around, and grinned. "YES! I'M BACK!"
Squidward ran all the way back to Bikini Bottom. He passed the neighborhood that was sketchy in the world where he didn't exist. It was bright and peaceful due to the fact that Patrick's mafia didn't exist anymore. He ran to his neighborhood, where he saw Patrick and Spongebob just repeatedly bonking their head on Squidward's door. Squidward dashed toward them and hugged them. "Spongebob! Patrick! You have no idea how happy I am to see you!"
Spongebob laughed. "You sure are friendly today Squidward!"
Squidward put the two down. "I'm just glad you two aren't socially awkward or a don!"
"Come on Squidward," Patrick said. "Our names aren't Don!"
"Hey, why are you two banging your heads on my door?"
"Well you locked all the windows and doors, so we were just waiting here for you to get back." Spongebob said.
Squidward looked really annoyed for a second, then grinned. He dashed all the way to the Krusty Krab, placing his hat on his head. He marched through the front doors. "I'm ready for work Mr. Krabs!" He walked up to his work place and hopped right in. Mr. Krabs seemed confused.
"Eh?" he said. He scurried over to Squidward. "Um, are you feeling alright, Mr. Squidward?"
"Never better Mr. Krabs. I just had a little attitude adjustment! Don't get used to it." He then thought, Even though my life is a hell hole, at least I'm not dead. As a customer approached him, he eagerly took his pen and notepad, saying "Welcome to the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, can I take your order?" (Good Burger ending reference)
As you can see, I made a few references XD. I hope you liked it. Again, sorry about the Peter thing, I just love that show and I couldn't resist.