So here is the long awaited (probably not) one-shot. I started rewatching Naruto and was inspired, so I played a little bit with Ume's background. This doesn't match exactly with Counted and deals more with Ume and the Third, but there's lots of Kakashi in there too. I wanted to address some of the issues brought up in reviews.
The Old Man and the Little Flower
"Oh? What's this?"
The little girl swiped at the tears under her eyes, sniffling and shrunk back into her hiding spot. An older face, kind and wise, crested over the top of the bush hiding her.
The face smiled. "Oh! What a pretty flower."
She glared back. "I'm no flower." She wiped at her eyes again. Stupid old man...
The face considered this. "I don't know... You are in a garden."
The girl huddled closer to the garden wall. "It's not funny."
The face smiled and a hand joined it on her side of the bush. "Well, if you're not a flower, we should get you out of this garden."
She shrunk away, glancing nervously in the direction of the playground.
"I see." The face followed her gaze. "All the other kids have already gone back in. Your sensei is probably looking for you. So how about I walk you back to your classroom?"
Considering him quietly, the girl sniffled and wiped at her eyes, before taking his hand. He lifted her to her feet and led her out from behind the bush. He knelt down and fished a handkerchief from the depths of his robes.
He brushed some dirt from her face. "Ah! Yes... A very pretty flower indeed."
She blushed and turned away. "I'm not a flower... My dad says I'm more like a weed."
The man drew back slightly, frowning. "Well, I think you're a flower." He stood with a smile and held out a hand for her. "Now lets get back to class."
She smiled and nodded, fitting her tiny child hand into his kunai-roughened palm.
"So my pretty little flower, what's your name?"
"Nagasaki Ume."
He led her through the halls of the academy. "Okay, Ume-chan, who is your sensei?"
"Midori-sensei." She started jumping tiles, giggling.
He chuckled and swung her, lifting her high in the air as she squealed with laughter. "And why were you hiding earlier? You should have been playing with your friends."
Ume huffed. "Both of my friends graduated already."
"Already? And who are your friends?"
"Kashi-kun and Gai-kun. They're both really smart! Kashi-kun graduated two years ago and Gai-kun graduated last year." She looked down. "My other classmates don't like me very much."
"Well then, they don't see what I see."
"They say civilian-born ninjas aren't as good as ninjas from ninja families. They say it doesn't matter that I have good grades. They say that-"
"What they say doesn't matter. I think you will be a great ninja."
She blushed again.
"Dad!"
The man paused and turned, smiling down at a dark haired, older kid. She shied away from him, hiding behind the old man's robes.
The older kid peered around the old man. "Hey you're that girl I accidentally knocked over last year. You're Kakashi's friend right?"
"Oh! Do you know my son, little flower?"
Ume nodded against his robes.
"Well, perfect! Asuma, how about you help Ume-chan here find Midori-sensei's classroom?"
"Here you go, Old Man!" Ume passed him the mission write-up, bright, sunny smile wide on her young face. She giggled. "Opps, I mean Lord Hokage, sir!"
He smiled down at Ume's blond head, before looking up at Saitou-sensei. "Mission went well?"
Saitou-sensei nodded, his normally stoic expression softening slightly around the edges. "Very well. It was a slight bit more difficult than we expected, you might want to charge more, but aside from a couple mild hiccups, they did well."
He smiled down at her and asked in a low whisper, "And how did you do, little flower? How was your first mission as a ninja?"
Ume bounced back and forth between her feet. "Oh my god! It was so much fun! At one point, there had to be like fifteen enemy jonin attacking us and I-"
"There were five and they were barely chuunin," Seiichi Hyuuga grunted and rolled his eyes. "You're such a child."
He watched as her shoulders slumped forward and she shot Seiichi a dirty look.
Saito-sensei cuffed Seiichi on the back of the head. "Treat your teammates with respect." He turned back toward the Old Man. "There were eight and Ume managed to defeat two, which is more than can be said about your performance... or Ebisu's for that matter."
Ume smiled brightly and turned back towards him.
"Well done, little flower."
"You're going to train me for the last round of the chuunin exams?"
He smiled and nodded. "Saito-sensei is training Ebisu and a member of the Hyuuga clan is training with Seiichi, so you, my little flower, are going to train with me. Your sensei believe that you are well suited to my particular brand of ninjutsu and taijutsu."
She smiled widely and jumped up and down. "This is so cool!" She clapped her hands together. "Do we start now? Please say we start now."
"No time like the present. We only have a month. We're going to start with Earth Release and Fire Release jutsu."
Ume looked unsure, twiddling with the end of her braid. "Saito-sensei always told me that I would have problems with Fire Release. He said that I don't have enough chakra."
"Yet." He smiled. "Fire Release jutsu require large stores of chakra and stamina. You will have to train hard to increase your chakra stores. So we are going to work on Earth Release first. You will have to work on releasing steady and forceful levels of chakra. At the same time, you will have to be ready to change those levels seamlessly. That is the essence of Earth Release jutsu: chakra control and force."
Ume nodded. "Okay, I'm ready."
"First jutsu is Earth Flow Wave." He settled into form, performed the hand signs: Rat-Snake-Tiger, and then slammed his hands on the ground. The ground shook under him and then a peak of earth rose beneath his feet, shooting him fifteen feet in the air. He shouted down from the peak, "Are you ready to learn?"
She nodded eagerly. "Yes sir!"
"Okay," He paused and hopped down from the top, "The key is to exert enough force with your chakra to soften the ground. Then you have to pull it up and either harden it to keep it stationary or keep it soft and flexible. The first steps first: soften the ground. Okay?"
"Nagasaki Ume, you have been recommended for Chuunin promotion." The old man's smile was bright and proud. "You're decisive victory against Mishinami Kohaku of the Village Hidden in the Mist and your performance in your match against Otsubo Ichiro of the Village Hidden in the Sand have demonstrated your ability to strategize effectively in combat as well as your mastery Earth Release jutsu. We as a council and your sensei and proctors believe that you, despite your youth, are ready for leadership."
Ume whooped and turned to catch Saito-sensei's broad grin as well as Ebisu and Seiichi's glower frowns.
Ebisu clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and whispered to Seiichi, "I can't believe that she made chuunin, before me. A no-talent, civilian born ninja and a girl to boot."
Saito-sensei glared down at the top of Ebisu's head. "You should be proud of your teammate's success. It reflects well on all of us. Besides, Ume out-performed both of you and she is the only reason you made it to the finals. Without her you would have never made it through the second round."
Ume blushed and the Old Man watched as she stiffened, as if expecting a blow. Life had taught her the hard lessons young. The nail that sticks up is the one that gets hammered down. The critics were bolder without the tempering presence of Kakashi, Gai, and Asuma.
Seiichi scoffed. "Of course she did better. She was trained by the Hokage! That's not fair."
Saitou cuffed him on the back of the head as well. "This behavior only highlights that neither of you are ready to lead men in battle. We're in the middle of a great war, we don't have time for children playing at being shinobi."
"And she isn't a child?" Ebisu's face was red. "She just turned ten!"
The Hokage stood. "Yet she is standing here, respectful and quiet, while you and Seiichi are embarrassing your families and our village. Everybody out, with the exception of Ume."
"Lord Hokage?"
The Old Man lifted his head and regarded the serious boy in front of him, wondering not for the first time, if he pushed him too hard. "Yes Kakashi-kun?"
The boy bristled at the nickname. "I think Ume's father beats her."
The boy's tone was blunt and flat and the Old Man stiffened in shock. "That is a very serious accusation. What makes you think that?"
The boy shrugged almost petulantly. "I'm her neighbor... or I was before.. Sometimes she would come over to my house and she'd have bruises. My... Father once had a conversation with her dad. I didn't really understand it at the time, but Ume said later that her dad had to go to the hospital." Dark eyes focused back on the Old Man. "Ume wasn't upset that her dad had to go to the hospital. Later that week after her dad came back from the hospital, Ume had a big bruise on her cheek."
"All of that is circumstantial at best. And in the past, furthermore."
Kakashi's shoulders slumped forward and he suddenly looked his age, missing the normally mature facade he wore. "I saw her yesterday. She had a black eye and I managed to see it before she healed it. I asked her what happened and she told me that Gai got in a lucky shot during a sparring match. But Gai's been on a mission for a week and it looked fresh."
The Old Man leaned back in his chair. "That is worrisome, but what do you expect me to do about it?"
Kakashi stiffened. "You're the Hokage! You can do whatever you want. We have to get her out of there."
"I understand your desire to protect her, I feel much the same about her. But I can't simply waltz in and take her from her parents."
"Parent. It's just her dad, her mom died when we were little." Kakashi shrugged deliberately nonchalant.
"Regardless she is a minor and I can't take her from her father without just cause."
Kakashi made a noise in the back of throat which would have classified as a grunt if he had gone through puberty already. "But she's a chuunin doesn't that make her an adult?"
"In the ninja world? Surely. But civilians are still considered children until they're eighteen."
"But she isn't a civilian."
"True, but her father is." The Old Man smiled. "I'll see what I can do, Kakashi."
"Yeah... Yeah. I'm coming." The door opened to reveal an unpleasant looking dark haired man. Ume must take after her mother. "Who're you?"
The stench of alcohol was overwhelming.
"I'm the Hokage." The man's face was blank and stupid. "The shinobi leader of this village."
"I know who the fucking Hokage is."
"Watch your tone." Saito bristled.
The Old Man held up a hand. "This is Watanabe Saito, your daughter's jounin sensei. We're here to talk to you about your daughter." He saw a flash of blond hair in the doorway leading to what he supposed was the kitchen.
"What about my daughter?"
"There have been accusations made-"
"By Hatake. Right? That little shit has been sticking his nose in my business for far too long. His jackass of a father too. But I heard he offed himself, something about being a traitor. Fuckin' serves him right."
Ume rushed into the room, door swinging closed behind her. "Don't talk about Sakumo-san that way. He was a good man and a good ninja, no matter what anyone says." She shot them a defiant look equal to the one she sent her father. "And you don't have any right to speak about Kashi either. Both of them are better men then you have ever been."
Her posture was childish fury, arms akimbo, thin limbs shaking in her anger, but the look in her eyes was far too adult: the rage of a ninja, hard and unyielding. It was a look that said that she had the training to back up her anger and her threats; a look that said that if her father were anyone else, an enemy perhaps, there'd already be a kunai embedded in his neck.
He wondered again if pushing his younger ninja was right... If winning the war was worth the price the next generation would pay.
Her father was too stupid, or too drunk, to recognize the danger his eleven-year-old presented. "Shut your fuckin' mouth, bitch." He lurched at her, one fist raised but Saito got there first, knocking the drunk off his feet. Ume didn't cower, didn't flinch at all. In fact, he watched with no small amount of pride as she braced for the coming attack, shoulders squaring, chin lifting.
"Ume-chan, go pack your things. You'll be staying with my family from now on. Saito, go with her, I need to have a conversation with Jinsei-san."
Joy lit up her eyes, but she wiped her facial expression clean of all emotion. Saito's heavy hand ruffled her hair affectionately and Ume led him back toward her bedroom, stuffing a kunai he hadn't seen her draw back in one of her weapons pouches. As they rounded a corner, she smiled and said something. Saito laughed and pantomimed tickling her. Ume squealed.
In so many ways, she was young and sweet. But the look in her eyes when her father had advanced and the quick draw of that kunai were anything but.
"Like hell."
The Old Man didn't even bother to look at him. "Jinsei-san, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but your daughter is an exceptional ninja. Top of her class, a full three years younger than most of the other genin she graduated with. A veritable genius in her own right. She is more than capable of killing you." He paused and glanced at the staggering man. "Honestly, she's been capable of killing you since her second year at the Academy, five years ago."
"Yeah so?" He slumped in a recliner set in front of a television.
"We don't train our ninja to let themselves get beat up. It's counter-intuitive to survival. How long do you think you can continue to abuse and berate her before she strikes out? And do you honestly think you can survive? This is as much for your protection as it is for hers, though I admit I don't care much about whether or not you survive."
He took a swig of the beer next to him and didn't bother to deny the abuse. "And who's going to fuckin' pay the bills? I'm outta work and her pay is the only thing putting food on the table."
"I suggest you get a job."
"So you're a jonin now, little flower." The Old Man smiled broadly. Maybe not so little, she's taller than me. "What does that mean?"
She shrugged under her flak jacket. "Means lotsa things, 'guess. Increased responsibilities, maybe a genin squad of my own, which might be a bit awkward as I'm barely older then they are..." She laughed. "Higher-ranked missions. That kinda stuff."
"And...?"
"And..." She mimicked him, shrugging.
"And gifts!"
She smiled. "You already gave me a jonin gift, Old Man. You gave me that katana, remember? You forgetting stuff already, Geezer?"
"I have one more then."
She grinned. "Well, I'm not one to look the gift horse in the mouth."
The Old Man chuckled and unrolled a large scroll between them.
Her eyes got wide. "Summoning?"
He nodded. "The Monkey King Enma."
She gasped. "But he's your personal summon."
"I'm going to retire soon. There will be a new Hokage and I won't be seeing battle as often. Enma wouldn't like retiring along with me." He paused and squeezed her shoulder. "Neither of my sons would be good fits for Enma. But you, little flower, you would be a great fit. I think Enma will like you. Respect you."
She nodded, eyes wide and maybe a little misty. She pricked her forefinger on one of her kunai, signed her name in blood then put her bloody fingerprints below that.
He showed her the hands signs and watched with a fond smile as she practiced them until she could do them by rote without even thinking about it.
"Ready to meet the Monkey King?"
She nodded and performed the jutsu. There was a poof of smoke which seemed suspiciously small. The tiny monkey standing over her seal was decidedly not the Monkey King.
The Old Man laughed. "Not the king, but the prince it seems. Ume, this is Koenma, Enma's son." The monkey scurried up her leg and settled on her shoulder, long white tail wrapping around her upper arm for stability.
"Hello!"
She smiled and shook his proffered hand. "Hi! You're cute."
"And you're pretty."
"Koenma is an excellent scout, very fast and quiet. Let's try again for Enma."
"Ouch."
The med-nin stitching up her shoulder chuckled. "Almost done. This is a quite impressive first injury. I haven't seen you in here for anything other than shots and immunizations since you broke your foot when you were a genin."
Ume shrugged her uninsured shoulder, wincing when it jarred her injured one. "I can stitch up kunai and shuriken wounds myself." She grinned wryly. "'Sides, don't like hospitals. No offense."
The med-nin smiled. "You and most ninja. None taken." He cut the suture silk and grabbed a set of white cotton bandages. He bound her shoulder tightly before binding her arm to her chest.
"Doc, I won't be able to move!" Ume glared at him. "How am I supposed to hold a kunai?"
The med-nin chuckled. "Recuperative leave for at least a couple of weeks until it's healed up enough for healing jutsu. The pharmacy will have antibiotics and painkillers for you downstairs. Drink this orange juice to help with the blood loss." He patted her in the head as she took the bottle with her free hand. "Have one of your friends change the bandages and don't get the stitches wet."
She sulked and nodded. Still smiling, the med-nin opened the door to his office and frowned at the people waiting outside of it. "Is everyone injured?"
Kakashi shook his head, standing from where he sat between Gai and Asuma. "No, sir." The other boys stood and tried to see over the doctor's shoulder.
"Here for Ume, I suppose?" The doctor smiled and stepped out of the way, allowing Ume to get passed him. "Here she is."
"Shit, Ume what did you do?" Asuma worried his unlit cigarette between his lips.
She shushed him and bowed politely to the med-nin. "Thanks, doc."
The med-nin nodded and close the door.
Kakashi grabbed the orange juice from her limp hand and unscrewed the top before handing it back to her. "What happened?"
Ume swigged half of the juice and huffed. "Fuckin' Hyuuga's what happened. Jackass decided it was his time to shine. And he wonders why he can't make it pass chuunin." She took another sip of the orange juice. "He was trying to do one of his family's jutsus but he was trying too hard and not paying enough attention. An enemy jonin got behind him with some crazy genjutsu and I had to step in. Caught a katana in the shoulder."
Asuma chuckled. "You're supposed to catch those with your hands not your shoulder, brat."
"You don't say, jerk?" She rolled her eyes and pitched the now empty juice both at a nearby trashcan left-handed, smiling widely when it fell neatly in.
Gai crossed his arms, pensive. "Lord Hokage must realize that you have far outstripped your teammates. He needs to team you up with people who will not dim the fire of youthful spirit!"
She chuckled, rubbing her free hand over the back of her head. "He'll do it when he's ready. That's the way the Old Man is. He always has a plan."
Asuma shrugged. "You have more faith than I do."
"Yeah well... He hasn't let me down yet."
They passed by a half-opened door but didn't see the Old Man standing just inside and smiling.
"Weasel, can you summon Koenma, send him ahead?"
"Yes, Hound-taichou." There was a poof of smoke and the sudden (if small) weight of the monkey on her shoulder. "Scout ahead for us, Koenma?"
"Of course, Weasel-chan." The monkey leapt from her shoulder and disappeared into the canopy.
They waited thirty minutes and she smiled under her mask as Koenma landed silently back on her shoulder, leaning in to whisper into her ear, "Three squads of enemy nin between us and the target, where four more are on guard."
She relayed the info to her captain who nodded, his pale hair catching the wind. "Weasel, left flank, Cat, right. Bull, cover the rear. I'll take point." They responded quietly and then took off into the trees as one unit.
It took the enemy five whole minutes to notice them.
Koenma leaned in. "Two approaching from the left, two from the right."
She nodded to Cat and scout-signed the news, who nodded and turned to engage. She formed the hand signs as she turned left and took both approaching ninja out with one stone pillar. Their bones cracked audibly under the weight.
"Four behind." She signed to Bull, who responded immediately and killed all four with one Fire jutsu.
"Four left." She turned and two enemies caught kunai in the throat, one stumbled as the earth rose to swallow him. She engaged in a quick bout of hand-to-hand with the fourth, before breaking his neck.
A quick burst of speed caught her up with her unit. She signed to her captain. Clear to target.
He nodded. Take point, break up enemy camp.
"Koenma, hold on." The monkey's grip tightened and shifted quickly forward, managing a neat flip over Hound's head as he seamlessly moved back into her position.
She performed a set of hand signs as they moved closer to the tree line. As they cleared, she landed in the middle of the enemy camp and slammed her hands into the earth, causing the ground to ripple and crack in a full ten-foot radius around her.
The enemy was caught off-guard, obviously expecting their advance guard to have taken care of any intruders. Four or five fell into fissures and were swallowed up by the earth as Hound and Bull rushed toward the target, Cat falling in next to her to engage the remaining ninja.
"Four ahead."
She nodded and performed a set of hand signs. "Monkey King Enma!"
"Need a hand, little flower?"
She chuckled quietly and nodded. "Adamantine Nyoi?"
He laughed and nodded before transforming. "Of course, Weasel-chan. So polite." She swung him in a wide arch, catching the four and vaulting them well out of range of the battle. She rotated him over the palm of her hand and jabbed another enemy in the jaw, wincing under her mask as his jaw broke with a loud crunch.
Enma chuckled, vibrating in her hand. "Glass jaw."
One of the enemy approached, a sneaky smile on his face. "I thought all of Sarutobi's children were dark-headed. In fact, I was sure that the Hokage had two dark-headed sons. I don't ever remember anything about him having a fair-headed daughter. But here you are, you fight like him, you use his summon. You must be his little girl. You can't be a day over seventeen. Another Konoha child soldier."
She shrugged and almost lazily tossed a kunai at his forehead. The wet thunk told her it connected. "Not a Sarutobi. And for the record I'm sixteen."
"Weasel, bring up the rear."
She nodded, tucked Enma into her armor and shifted quickly through hand signs. She slammed her hands into the ground and pulled up a wall of earth.
She untucked Enma and made to follow.
Enma transformed back into his monkey form as she leaped to catch up with her squad.
"You are a Sarutobi, name or no."
She glanced at him and smiled. With a poof, he disappeared, Koenma nodding fervently on her shoulder.
"Scout ahead, Koenma?"
Hound scout signed back at her. Bull is carrying precious cargo.
She nodded and fell in on Bull's other side.
"So Kakashi-" the Old Man stopped himself before he added the affectionate suffix. This was a ninja grown, not a child. Eighteen, nearly six feet tall, still lanky in the way most young male ninja were, but broad of shoulder, which suggested that there was a substantial amount of muscle to be added in the coming years.
A ninja who had already been a jonin for five years and ANBU for four of them.
A ninja who may or may not have had sex with the girl -woman- he had all but adopted.
This was nerve wracking. He never had to do this with Hiruzen or Asuma.
"So...Lord Hokage..." came the drawn out response, Kakashi's voice deeper than he had ever heard it.
When had Hatake Kakashi become a man? He had been an adult for years but when had he become a man? The Old Man was getting old and it was sneaking up on him.
"How do... I mean," he paused and cleared his throat, "what are your intentions concerning our young blond friend?" He nodded down at where Ume was sparring with Asuma, getting more giggling done than actual training.
Kakashi's head swiveled to gape at him. "Huh?"
The Old Man managed to keep from flushing himself. "What are your intentions? She is my daughter, or at least I consider her to be my daughter. I do not wish to see her hurt."
"Uh..." Kakashi nodded and cleared his throat. "I don't either. I have no intention of hurting her..."
The Old Man decided it was time for a tactical retreat. "Right. As long as we're on the same page..." He moved to leave, but turned back to regard Kakashi quietly. "You are using protection, aren't you?"
At least he could still make the kid blush...
Though he should probably find it slightly disturbing that someone who had killed dozens still blushed over something as commonplace as sex and condoms.
"Hey, Old Man." Ume smiled as she sat next him and then smiled up at the tea girl when she set a pot on the warmer and backed away with a shy bow. Ume reached up and poured them both a cup then passed him his.
She blew over the top of her tea and sipped at it lightly. "So what's going on in the Tower of Power?"
He chuckled. "It's quiet."
"Good quiet or bad quiet?"
"'To be determined' quiet."
She smiled. "Aaaah... 'Ume will hear about it in a mission scroll' quiet. My favorite type of quiet."
He nodded and drank his tea. "Just so."
She sipped at her tea and reached to pour him another cup. "Konohamaru is starting at the Academy soon. Hiru is excited."
The Old Man nodded. "Indeed. We have retained Ebisu as his private tutor."
She made a face. "If nothing else, he's a good tutor... I guess."
The Old Man slanted a look at her, a small smile on his face. "Old grudges, dear."
She turned her nose up. "It's not an old grudge.. I don't particularly care what he does. Never did. Seiichi on the other hand, he actively made my life hell." She grinned at him. "That's an old grudge."
He chuckled. "Asuma is late."
"His class ran over I think... He had a taijutsu lesson to teach. And those always run over."
He nodded. "Speaking of grandchildren..."
"I don't think Asuma will be having any kids any time soon. He just got back from the Twelve." She winked at him. "Though I have heard he's been sniffing around that chuunin Yuuhi Kurenai."
"I had heard that as well."
"Well look at you!" She laughed and downed the rest of her now tepid tea. "All up in the rumor mill."
"Shinobi." He grinned.
"Indeed."
He waved away another cup of tea and set his cup next to hers on the table. "You're 22 this year, Ume."
She shrugged. "Yeah?"
"In fact, so is Kakashi."
She nodded slowly. "Yep. He's a couple months older than me."
"Both of you have been very successful in your careers. When can we expect you two to settle down and help build the next generation of Konoha shinobi?"
She blushed and stuttered. "What?"
Asuma grinned as he sat opposite of them and poured himself a cup of tea. "Perfect timing. Yeah, squirt? When can we expect you to pop out a couple of Hatake genius babies?"
She reached over and cuffed him in the side of the head. "About the same time you grow a pair and ask out Kurenai."
"Don't know what you're talking about."
"Yeah. That's what I thought."
She rounded the long curved hall in the Hokage tower, making her way towards the stairs at a rather leisurely pace, when a little dark-headed bundle slammed into her legs. "Auntie! Make him leave me alone!"
She grunted and just managed to keep her balance. "Konohamaru! What the- You should be in class!"
Konohamaru made a face, and then hid against her leg. "But I was testing Grandpa. I can't do that when he expects me to."
She sighed and squatted in front of him with a broad smile. "That's true, of course. But you should still be in class. That's where you learn the stuff you need to know in order to surprise the Old Man."
Konohamaru nodded sulkily but tensed as Ebisu came around the corner, furious. He moved to hide behind her and Ebisu pulled up short, eyeing her. "Ume."
"Ebisu." She stood, nodded at him and coaxed Konohamaru from behind her leg. He stubbornly clung to her blue uniform pants.
Ebisu moved to stare down Konohamaru. "Honorable Grandson, you should be in class!"
Ume sighed and waved him off. "I got this. He listens to me." She ruffled the kid's hair affectionately. "Does he have a lesson with you later?" Ebisu nodded and Ume looked down at Konohamaru. "Look, kiddo, if you finish out your school day and make it all the way through your lesson with Ebisu-sensei, I'll teach you something cool and we'll go get sweet dumplings later. Deal?"
Konohamaru glared at Ebisu but nodded. Ume smiled and held out her hand.
"Let's get back to class then." Konohamaru grabbed her hand and she turned back to Ebisu. "I'll take him back."
Ebisu nodded. "Thank you, Ume-senpai."
She started at the honorific and managed an awkward bow. "No prob."
"You've been avoiding me."
She rolled her eyes and unlocked her door. "I have literally been in meetings all morning." She grabbed the collar of his flak jacket and pulled him into her apartment behind her. "Seriously, I've been in the Hokage's office since four."
She pulled his mask down, threw his hitai-ate to the side and fit her mouth over his as he groped backwards to lock the door.
"If you're really feeling neglected though..." She smiled wickedly against his lips and squeezed him gently through the cloth of his uniform pants. "Just tell me how I can do to make it up to you."
Kakashi's smile echoed her own and he pressed her back against the wall of the foyer. "Oh, I can think of a few ideas."
She chuckled and moved to worry her teeth along the line of his jaw, her hands dropping to unbutton his pants. "I'm sure..." She pulled the zipper down slowly before sinking to her knees.
She was just working his pants down over his hips when there was a knock on the door. She looked up at Kakashi, who looked at little murderous, Sharingan open, tomoe spinning.
She caught his eyes and signed, Hokage.
He nodded.
Bedroom?
He grinned and nodded, offering her a hand up.
"Nagasaki Ume, I know you're in there." The Hokage paused and chuckled audibly through the door. "And I know Kakashi's with you."
She sighed and sent Kakashi a sympathetic look. "Just a second." She buttoned and zipped up his pants, patting him delicately with a teasing smile as Kakashi righted his mask. As she stood, she handed him his forehead protector and mouthed sorry.
Kakashi shrugged and signed, You're mine tonight.
The hot look he sent her sent a shiver down her spine and she moved to open the door. "What's up, Old Man?"
The Old Man's smile was wide and sly. "I'm sorry Kakashi, I'm afraid the issue I spoke about with our Ume this morning has escalated faster than I thought."
Ume snapped to attention but Kakashi muttered something that sounded suspiciously like: 'cock-blocking old man' as he moved away from the door.
Ume just managed not to look too shocked.
The Old Man hid a chuckle behind a calloused hand. "Ume, call your team please."
Ume nodded. "Yes, Lord Hokage."
The door closed and Ume turned to Kakashi who sat slumped on the couch. In fact, had it been anyone else, she wouldn't have hesitated to call that sulking. She said so.
Kakashi glared at nothing.
"I'll be back before you know it." Ume smiled. "And while I'm gone, you can think up inventive ways for me to make it up to you."
Kakashi huffed and managed a one-eyed sarcastic grin. "You want to blow me?"
She winked. "And get myself all hot and bothered before I go? No, I don't think so." She leaned over to pull his mask down and kiss him lightly. "Besides the anticipation always make it hotter, don't you think?"
He groaned and stood, moving back toward the bedroom so she could change into her ANBU uniform.
"Why do you call him 'Lord Hokage'?"
She shrugged. "What else would I call him?"
"Oh.. I don't know... Dad, maybe?" Kakashi shrugged and opened the door to her bedroom. "Way I see it, only a father cock-blocks as much as he does. I mean, seriously... he manages to interrupt us at least once a week."
The bedroom door closed with a petulant click.
The kunai hit the tree next to his head with a dry thunk, a little white scrap of paper tied around the hilt.
"Ooh... Sensei is that a secret message?"
Kakashi chuckled, recognizing the kunai. "If it was secret, would you know about it?" He reached up and untied the paper and cast a look at his students. "You should be working on that jutsu."
Written in ANBU code, in familiarly sloppy handwriting, were four words.
Hot Springs Race You
He grinned under his mask. "I've got to go."
"But sensei..."
"Work on your jutsu. I'll see you later."
When he got there, she was already naked and soaking in one of the private baths.
She smiled, that special smile that was only his; soft, genuine, dare-he-say-it feminine, not goofy, not sarcastic, not the cardboard smile that was too tense to be real, but that smile... the one that was just for him.
"You need help gettin' those clothes off, Kashi?" She waded closer to the edge of the pool, her breasts, rosy-pink nipples just cresting the top of the water, drove him crazy.
She popped out of the spring in one fluid motion, nipples beading in the cool air and reached him in a few lithe steps. She pulled his mask down, still smiling her beautiful Kashi smile, and leaned up to kiss him. Her breasts left wet spots on his flak jacket and she groaned into his mouth.
"What are you waitin' for? A written invitation?"
He moved to kiss down her neck and chuckled against her skin. "You already sent one."
"Then get goin'." She unzipped his flak jacket. It fell to the floor with a heavy thud. Her hands were under his shirt in less than a second, fingers tracing the hard lines of his torso.
Gloved hands coasted over the curves of her ass and she groaned. "Less touching, more undressing."
He cooperated when she pulled his shirt over his head followed by the one that attached to his mask.
"God, I missed you, woman." He dug his hands into the heavy wet mass of her hair and dragged her mouth against his, her hands falling to undo his pants.
She pushed them and his boxers off in one quick move, while he pulled his armored gloves off and toed off his sandals.
She caught his bottom lip between her teeth. "I know I owe you for making you wait, but what do I get for winning the race?"
"Y'know... He included you in the will."
She looked up from the memorial stone. Asuma looked as haggard as she felt. He sat down in the grass next to her, tapped out a cigarette and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "I had the solicitors write it down for me so I could read it word for word to you. Here goes:
"I hereby testify that I have three children: Sarutobi Hiruzen, first born of my sons, heir to my clan; Sarutobi Asuma, my second born son; and Nagasaki Ume, adopted daughter and ward.
"I hereby bequeath- he describes what Hiru and I are getting, no surprises there - I hereby bequeath to my adopted daughter all the rights, titles and privileges bestowed on one of my blood - now you're a Honorable Daughter. That will get old quick, promise. - up to and including my family name, should she choose to use it.
"Regardless of whether she adopts the family name, she is Sarutobi - Hear that brat? Now you're official. - and will be afforded the rights, titles and privileges - Lady Sarutobi Ume, the Honorable Daughter of the Sandaime Hokage. Has a ring to it, don't it? - afforded her position in the Clan. These right, titles an priveleges will be passed to any future children she has.
"I also bequeath her my collection of rare and valuable weapons including - He lists them all... and let me tell you," He paused and whistled, shifting so they were shoulder to shoulder, "They may be worth more than Hiru's whole estate."
"Holy shit."
Asuma laughed and lit his cigarette, gathering her against his side. "Yeah-"
She stiffened. "But why?"
"Why?" Asuma sucked on his cigarette. "Because he loved you, that's why. Because he's been protecting you since you were a snotty, seven-year-old, Academy student. You've been his Little Flower for twenty-one years. You lived with us until you were eighteen. Why wouldn't he? You are his daughter and you're my sister. Always have been. My little punk-ass runt of a sister."
She laughed brokenly and Asuma swung an arm over her shoulders. "You're ours Sarutobi Ume and until Kakashi officially claims you, we ain't inclined to let you leave." He stood and pulled her up with him. "Now time to go home. Hiru and everyone else has missed you."
They took the long way back to the compound, Asuma knew her well enough to know that she would need a few minutes to regain her composure.
Later when they finally got back to the Sarutobi compound, with the familiar sights and smells and the unfamiliar black streamers, she found couldn't breathe.
But then she saw the clan, her clan, gathered in one of the big rooms in the main house. She saw them smile, tired and sad but glad to see her, watched Hiru, who looked so much like Dad it was painful, and his wife storm across the room and wrap her up in a hug.
She saw Konohamaru, red eyes, stubborn, sullen expression. When she kneeled down, she felt the boy's body barrel into hers, thin arms coming around her neck and squeezing tightly. When he sniffled 'Auntie' into her flack vest as she stood, she felt her heart squeeze.
This was home.
Everyone had already left. Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Anko, the Hokage, everyone had gone home. They thought it was done, that their little intervention had gone as planned.
Sometimes Kakashi wondered if they even knew Ume at all.
They sat on opposite sides of the room, Kakashi on the old beat up couch, Ume in the recliner she had found in a yard sale when she was eighteen.
That by itself was odd. They had a tendency to sit nearly on top of each other when they were alone. It had been that way since they were two little kids who didn't particularly like being touched, but who had found some measure of comfort in each other.
The distance was uncomfortable.
Her eyes were red and swollen, she was pale and shaky.
It was the hospital all over again. This wasn't his Ume.
"I understand what you did and why you did it, Kashi." She retreated back behind an emotionless ANBU mask, the one she used when she needed to pretend that she was the perfect ninja. It pissed him off.
"Don't do it again."
He shrugged and flipped a page in his book. Across the room, Ume glared at him (emotion at last!), frustrated by his seeming nonchalance. "I won't make any promises."
"Excuse me?"
He put his book away and stared her down. "I said I won't make any promises."
She stood. "What right-"
He shrugged again. "I'm your fucking next of kin. That is all the right I need."
She glared at him, gritting her teeth. "I don't need-"
He glared back and stood, stalking towards her, jerking his mask and hitai-ate off. No walls, no masks, he wasn't hiding. And soon she wouldn't be either.
"What do you need, Ume? You need me to leave you alone? That's not going to happen. You need me to apologize for authorizing the genjutsu? I refuse. So what do you need, Ume?"
She drew back and turned away from him. He lifted a hand to her face and turned her back towards him. "I can't bring the Third back."
She glared at him. "Don't drag him into this."
Kakashi chuckled sadly. "He's always in this. Don't you see that? You drag his memory with you everywhere you go." He shushed her. "I'm not asking you to forget him, I don't think you can. I'm asking you to stop trying to die for him and to live for him the way he would want. So what do you need? What can I do to help you?"
"I have no clue what the hell you're talking about."
He sighed. "The only thing I need in this world is for you to be alive. That's it. I can bear anything knowing you're here. So what will it take to keep you here? Why price do I have to pay to get you to stop trying to throw your life away?"
She tried to speak and he kissed her to shut her up. "Why won't you just stay?"
She swore and rubbed furiously at eyes that were filling up again. "I owe him everything, Kashi. He made me what I am."
Kakashi smiled, poor fool wouldn't recognize her own talent if it hit her the face. "I think he'd be inclined to argue that with you, but that's not the point. He wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. And you know it." He pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. "And what about me? You owe me something, too. We've been doing this same 'song and dance' for ten years now, Ume. Tell me all these years haven't meant anything to you, and I'll walk away and let you do what you want."
She made a choking sound in the back of her throat, panic incarnate. If nothing else it soothed his wounded ego. "Of course, it meant something, Kashi. And don't be ridiculous, you can't leave."
"Why? Why can't I leave?" He moved to speak directly in her ear. "Tell me you don't feel the same way I do." He hesitated, feeling a little too exposed, but went for it. She needed this. "Tell me you don't love me like I love you. Lie to me, baby, and lie good. If I believe it, I'll leave you alone. I'll never bother you again. But if you can't convince me... you have got to stop seeking revenge. Let him rest, Ume. Orochimaru will get what's coming to him eventually, but I can't lose you, not even for this."
She was quiet for a long moment and he sighed, speaking almost just to fill the silence. "When Bull came back without you, they put me on a 24-hr psyche hold." She stiffened. "I don't know if they thought I was really going to kill myself, maybe they were worried due to the family history, but they took my kunai, my shuriken, my senbon, ropes, poison pills, everything. They stripped me bare, Ume, and made me sit in a room with Asuma while you lay dying God only knew where."
"You wouldn't have killed yourself."
He shrugged, and hugged her to him. "If Bull hadn't come back with you? If you had been dead in his arms instead of almost dead? I don't know what would have happened."
That choking sound was back again. "You wouldn't have killed yourself. Please promise me, Kashi."
"I won't make any promises." He sighed. "Asuma kept talking about how he knew you'd get yourself killed. How he had let you die because he didn't make you listen. How he should have stopped you. But I knew the truth. I had tried to stop you and you didn't listen. I tried and failed."
She stepped closer, tucking her head under his chin. "Not everything is your fault, Kashi."
"It felt that way." He sighed. "I can't do that again. So you need to tell me if you don't feel the same. I need to know if it's time to let this go."
She kissed him, murmuring little endearments and calming phrases that meant nothing.
"Stop distracting me." He rested his forehead against hers. "I'm being serious, you need to answer the question. Do you feel the same way I do?"
"You know I do, Kashi."
"Say it."
She smiled against his lips. "I love you."
He sighed and pulled her as close as he could with their flak jackets and weapons in the way.
"Thank god for that."
The peonies felt like dead weights in her hand, just like they had all those years ago. She knelt next to the memorial stone, setting the peonies at the base. She said a quick prayer and then sat back in the grass.
Elbows on her knees, she ran her hands over her face.
"Hey Dad..." She drew a shaky breath. "Hey Asuma.
"I miss you guys... how is it on the other side? It's been pretty quiet around here since the end of the War. Uchiha is back in Konoha. He's working off his crimes, which is fun to watch. He's only allowed to go on D- and C-ranked missions for another year. And since that is far below Naruto and Sakura's skill levels, he's normally teamed up with fresh genins, kind of an unofficial jonin-sensei. After his probation, he's going to start training for ANBU. I'm going to enjoy making his life hell.
"Naruto and Sakura are beside themselves, of course. Kakashi is too, but it's less noticeable." She pulled a couple of grass blades free and set to shredding them. "Lady Tsunade is preparing Naruto to take over Konoha. God, you guys should see him. He's really something. Old Man you'd be so proud of him. Sakura is heading up the Med-nin Training Academy. They're finally going to put a med-nin on every squad."
She chuckled. "They've started calling those three the second coming of the Sannin. They are incredible.
"Anyways, that's only part of the reason I came out here. I don't know if I ever truly said any of this to you, I'm sorry if I didn't. I've come to realize that I'm more emotionally stunted then I originally thought. But thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there through everything. For loving me even when I felt unlovable. For giving me the family I never had and for standing up for me and believing in me." Her voice cracked. "Thank you so much.
"Asuma, you are the best older brother a girl could ever ask for. You should see little Shinji. God, he's the cutest kid. He calls me 'Auntie', but he still loves his Uncle Shika the best. He'll start at the Academy soon and he's going to be stupendous. He already takes after you.
"Old Man, I miss you so much. Enma misses you. There are times when I just sit and I try to think like you thought. I try to figure out what you would have done." She wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "I'm commander of ANBU, and I try to run it the way you would have run it... To live up to the name you gave me. I don't know if I'm doing a good job, but I try.
"At some point... I don't really know when, but at some point, you stopped being the Old Man and you became my old man. And-" she sobbed, "A-and.. I want to thank you for that...But I came here to tell you guys something...Enough with all of the melodrama."
She smiled and covered her abdomen with a shaking hand. "I'm preggers. It's Kashi's, 'course, like you two always knew it would be. Don't worry, we're getting married... He's the only one... always been the only one, but uh... we're naming him Hiruzen... if he's a boy that is. I'm only a month or so along so we don't know yet."
She sucked in a breath. "Kashi said... he said, 'Let's name him after your dad,' and I laughed because I thought he meant Jinsei. But then he said, 'No. Jinsei wasn't your dad. The Third was your dad. If its a boy, we should name him after the Third.'
"So that's what we're gonna do."