With the world far from of the clutches of complete chaos , Yusuke decided it was time to return to the human world to pick up his life where he had left it 2 years ago; he only needed a little more time to finish "negotiating" for King Enki. During those long hours between work, Yusuke often reflected on his life. He was now a man in a certain sense, though lacking his manhood in quite another.

Frustrated by this realization, he sent an urgent message through Puu to Keiko to greet him at Genkai's secluded house at once. He thought the message would be safely delivered since average humans could not see Puu. Little did he know, the message was intercepted by his dear old chums: Hiei, Kurama, and of course, Kuwabara. The threesome (and I do mean that in the cleanest sense of the word) decided not to inform Keiko of the "urgent" message sent out by one desperate Yusuke and to instead be there to greet him at Genkai's retreat. Kuwabara, totally oblivious as to the implicit purpose of their trip to Genkai's, came prepared with bento boxes filled with a variety of delicious treats. Hiei and Kurama, well aware of the mood Yusuke would be in upon entering the house, came well-equipped with long hoses, connecting to the well just outside of the house.

Hiei chuckled as he readied the hose, aiming it at the front entrance of the house in preparation for what was to come.

Kurama crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "You seem awfully excited about this, Hiei." said Kurama, smirking most pompously.

Hiei stood up, brushing the dust off his pants. "And why shouldn't I be? Our dear friend, Urameshi, is in for quite a surprise," he paused thoughtfully, "I suppose I should call it 'payback' for the bullshit he's given me in the past." Hiei rubbed his face, hiding the smirk beneath.

Kuwabara, who had been carefully setting out the food, stood up. His face displayed a blank puzzlement. "Uh… what are you guys talkin' about? Aren't we here to like greet him or somethin'?" Kuwabara questioned, scratching his head, embarrassed that he was once again out of the loop by his own ignorance.

The sliding door flew open, and standing in the blindingly bright doorway was a tall silhouette, holding a small package in one hand, and a mighty weapon in the other. Hiei quickly swooped down, releasing the water building up in the hose, promptly drenching the now angry man in the doorway. Yusuke stepped into the house, both of his packages now dripping and drooping most unsatisfied.

"What the FUCK!? How the fuckin' hell are you guys here?! Where the FUCK is Keiko? You guys are fuckin' idiots! Get out of here!" Yusuke screamed as threw the soaking wet package.

Kurama smiled playfully, "I'm glad to see your vocabulary hasn't been much affected by the demon world".

While Yusuke was still screaming obscenities as he found a towel to dry himself off with, Hiei bent over to examine the package Yusuke had thrown. He picked up the box and read the contents within, "Genkai brand condoms, guaranteed protection against the catching and spreading of Demon AIDS" Hiei laughed loudly and held the box out for the others to see. "When he sent out an urgent message for Keiko,… he sure wasn't kidding." The other two laughed loudly with Hiei.

Yusuke, covering himself with a towel, ran out and snatched the box out of Hiei's hands which were trembling from crippling laughter. "You guys are fucked up. Why the hell would you do this to me?! What the hell have I ever done to you guys?!" Yusuke ranted, his face a deep scarlet.

Kurama wiped the smile off his face and stared judgingly at Yusuke. "Having intimate relations with a girl you have not yet married… or even dated… the idea is just barbaric," he scoffed at Yusuke's premarital intentions.

Kuwabara threw his hands behind his head and bashfully admitted, "I guess I'm a barbarian then, huh, Kurama?" He laughed in embarrassment.

The other three gawked at him in shock.

Yusuke stared at him wide-eyed and screeched, "Since when has any girl ever wanted to have sex with you?! Or… was it a girl…?"

Kuwabara's face turned a deeper shade of red. His hands dropped down, "OF COURSE IT WAS A GIRL! GEEZ, URAMESHI! YOU THINK I'D DO A… GEEZ!"

Yusuke sharply turned his head, "Well don'tcha have somethin' ta say, Hiei?!" Hiei was no longer standing where he had been just a few seconds ago. "Hiei?" Yusuke turned to look at the porch, suddenly feeling a horrible burning sensation in his rectum. He saw Hiei sitting on the porch, leaning back languidly, sensually puffing at a cigarette.

Yusuke grabbed his burning buttocks and yelled painfully, "What the HELL did you do to my ass?!"

Kuwabara suddenly felt a sharp burning sensation in his rectal area, very similar to Yusuke's, and screamed the same accusation at the completely satisfied Hiei, "OW! What the fuck didya do to our asses, Hiei?!"

Kurama scowled hatefully at Hiei, "I saw what you did, Hiei. I think it is completely disgusting and vile."

Hiei casually rolled his head to face the angered Kurama, "Ok, then don't partake in my activities." He rolled his head back into position and took another deep puff from his cigarette.

Yusuke looked at Kurama frightfully, "Wait… what are you tellin' me…? What the hell did you see him do?!" Kuwabara, still oblivious to the exact situation, wandered to the bathroom to attempt to relieve this burning feeling the only way he knew how.

Kurama, turned away from Yusuke, still glaring at Hiei, "I am not one to share such horrid things. It is too disgusting for me to say."

Yusuke clenched his fist and furrowed his eyebrows. "Whaddayamean ya can't say?! He did it to MY ASS! Just tell me what the fuck he did so I can beat the shit out of him!"

Kuwabara ran out of the bathroom, pants still around his ankles, and toilet paper clinging to his naughty region, "URAMESHI! HE… HE…"

Yusuke turned around quickly, "WHAT?! JUST SPILL IT AWREADY!"

"HE RAPED OUR ASSES!" Kuwabara shouted.

Yusuke looked dumbfounded. He turned toward the porch to face the still lounging Hiei. "I oughta kill you for that, you fucking pervert…" he said, clenching his teeth angrily. Just then, a flush of material and liquid rushed through his anal cavity. Yusuke clenched up tight and ran for the bathroom, locking the exposed Kuwabara out. Kuwabara looked down and saw his pants had not been pulled up to their appropriate position and snatched them up swiftly, his whole body blushing deeply.

"What's all that ruckus?!" a crackling voice shouted.