The Curse of the Puppy
Yes, I know you all saw this coming. A sequel to 'The Curse of the Kitty". It kinda wont make sense unless you read the first part. So….yeah. Hope you like it!
Warnings: Ummm…I don't think there are any. Allen in nicer in this fic because he has his hair back ^___^.
Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne.
~**~
Hitomi growled and tossed the dusty book behind her back. It landed on a pile of books that almost touched the ceiling.
"Nothing." She sighed.
Allen slammed a book shut and added it to the pile.
"Ditto. Anyone else finding this as pointless as I am?"
Merle snarled and ripped a book apart, swallowing the pages and adding the cover to the already growing pile of mutilated books.
"We're not going to find a cure for Van-sama in this stupid library!!" Merle snarled, and grabbed another book to chew out her frustrations on.
Hitomi sighed and raked a hand through the hair of the tiny black puppy sleeping peacefully in her lap.
"I guess the only way to cure him is that Omake guy."
"NO WAY! That guy is a nutcase! I mean, this is all his fault, why would he cure him? Besides, that place is creepy and there's no way I'm going back!"
"Well do you have any better idea's!?"
"Yeah, we'll get rid of you! Your obviously a jinx!"
"Why you LITTLE!" Hitomi grabbed a book as a weapon and shot up out of her seat, causing poor Van-puppy to go flying out of her lap and onto Allen's face.
"Why don't you two jus-Mpphhm!" Allen was cut off as he fell backwards with a scared Van-puppy clinging to his face.
Merle hissed and circled Hitomi, holding up a table to use as a weapon. They circled each other for another two minutes until they finally lunged. A huge dust cloud formed around them, and the two were rolling around the library, punching and biting each other. Occasionaly a fist or a head would pop out of the little dust cloud until it was pulled back in. Allen and Van-puppy sat on the floor staring at the two with wide eyes.
"Damnit! Would both of you just stop! This is no time for a cat fight!" Van screamed, trying to sound angry, but it just came out in an adorable little doggy voice. Hitomi and Merle both stopped fighting and stared at Van with starry eyes.
"AWWWW!! That's *so* cute!"
"Kawaii, kawaii, KAWAII!"
"Shit…not again…"
Van jumped up and prepared to run for his life. Two hands scooped him up before he could get a paw off the ground, and he was soon being smothered between to ecstatic girls.
"Guys…*hack* I can't…*wheeze*…B-breathe…"
"You are just the most adorable thing I have ever seen!"
"Your just so cute! Aren't you? Yes you are! You're my wittle baby!"
Hitomi and Merle continued to fuss over the Van puppy, while Van's face was turning more purple by the second. Of course, the two girls were too busy petting him to death to notice.
"Uhh…guys…" Allen started.
Both girls whipped their heads around and glared at him "WHAT!?"
Allen coughed and pointed to Van. The girls looked down and gasped. Van's face was a bright blue, and his cheeks were puffed up like a gerbal. His eyes were popping out of their sockets, and he looked about ready to explode.
"VAN!" They both shouted, and let go at the same time. Van sucked in a long breath before falling flat on his face with a 'plop'.
"Oh Van, I'm so sorry!"
"I didn't mean it, really!"
"I am so so so so sorry!"
"Are you alright??"
Van wheezed and managed to lift a little puppy paw to wave the girls off. "Just…peachy…keen…"
That caused both of them to cry out and fuss over him more.
"Guys, damnit, leave him alone! What the hell is the matter with you!?"
"We just can't help it! It's like…a weird force just takes over." Hitomi said while giving the little Van-puppy CPR. Much to Merles distaste.
But Van seemed to be loving it.
"It must be part of the curse. We really have to find this old fart and make him turn Van back."
"Oh yeah? How? He must have left town a long time ago. And even is he's still there, you think he's gonna help us?"
"We'll make him help us! Just look at poor Van!" Hitomi cried, lifting the little puppy for all to see. Van had little circles in his eyes, and his cheeks were bright red. He also had a really dopey grin on his face.
"He looks like he's on drugs…"
"Allen!"
"WHAT!? He does!"
~**~
"Are you sure you can find him?" Allen asked skeptically, cocking a slender eyebrow. "I mean…forgive me for being rude…but…a crystal ball?"
"HUSH!!" The woman screamed, throwing her arms up into the air and shaking them with all her might. The THOUSANDS of bracelets on her arms jingled with every movement. "the spirits…I can feel them…hush…listen…"
Everyone blinked and leaned into the crystal ball, trying to hear the 'spirits.'
"OOOHHHH!!!!" She screamed into their ears. They all screamed and jumped back, covering their abused ears. "I can FEEL it! Can you FEEL it!?"
"YEAH, YEAH, WE FRIGGEN FEEL IT!" Allen shouted, sticking a finger in his ear and jerking it around a bit. "I think my ear popped…"
The 'psychic' suddenly got a grave expression on her face, and she stalked up to Hitomi and pressed her forehead against hers. Hitomi made a noise and took a step back, clutching Van to her stomach. Every step back Hitomi took, the woman advanced.
"I see…I see things in you…"
"Err…okay…" Hitomi walked away faster.
"THERE it is!" She screeched, jabbing a finger in Hitomi's direction.
"There is *WHAT*?" Allen and Merle asked, exasperated.
"The piece…The piece to the great PUZZLE!" She exclaimed, and pointed to Van. Van had the sudden urge to run.
"Can we…please…just get on with this?" Hitomi squeaked, backing up into the wall.
"Yes, but I will need the puppy…" She said, extending her boney arms towards Van.
Van squeaked and looked up at Hitomi with the biggest, badest, wettest puppy eyes he could manage. He also pouted for good measure. "Please don't give me to her!"
Hitomi melted on the spot. "Er, sorry. I'll hold him."
Van cheered inwardly.
The old lady shook her head. "I'm afraid that will not do. I NEED the little PUPPY! NEEED it!" She then threw back her head and cackled.
Allen, Hitomi and Merle exchanged glances.
"Excuse us." Allen said, grabbing Hitomi and Merle and dragging them a good distance from the weird lady.
"Okay, anyone else think she's got a few screws loose?"
"Try ALL of them!" Merle hissed.
"Your not actually going to trust her, are you? Your not gonna give me to her!" Van pleaded.
"Well…sure, she's a touch…eccentric, but she might be able to help. Maybe we should give her a try."
"Your out of your bloody mind!!" Van said, beginning to panic.
"Common, Van. You want to be back to normal, don't you?"
"Well…yes…but not THAT badly! What if she eats me or something!"
"Oh, don't be ridiculous. Common, we're going back." Allen and Merle sighed and followed Hitomi as she sauntered back to the old lady who was waiting patiently at her table.
"Ready to start?"
Hitomi nodded and Van whimpered. The lady smiled and stood up. "I'll need the…puppy…" she drooled, licking her lips. Van 'yipped' and curled into a little ball in Hitomi's arms.
"No way. Nowaynowaynowaynoway."
"Oh…common now, Van. It can't be…that…bad…" Hitomi started to falter when she saw the looks the lady was giving Van. She shook her head and nodded. Common, Hitomi. You have to do this for Van. Hitomi gulped and started to hand Van over to the lady. Van saw what was happening and clung to Hitomi with all his might.
"Van!"
"Oh, HELL NO!" Van shouted, holding on even tighter. Hitomi growled and ripped Van off her, pulling her sleeves and bow off with him. She blinked at the little puppy's ability to hold on for dear life, and handed him to the lady. She smiled down at Van, and Van shuttered.
"Well, let's get started." She said, sitting down at her table. Merle did NOT look happy with the old lady having Van, and sat down beside her. Allen pulled up a chair next to Merle, and Hitomi sat on the other side of the old lady. "Now!" she said, pulling up her sleeves. "To find this old man, we have to have a TINY little SACRIFICE…" She cackled, turning to Van. Van paled and jumped up to bolt, but the lady slammed a knife down in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.
Allen jumped up and grabbed the hilt of his sword. Merle started screaming and launched herself at the old lady. Hitomi looked horrified and she reached for Van. Then everything happened at once.
The old lady whipped around and threw her crystal ball at Allen, hitting him square in the face. Allen wobbled around a bit then twirled around and fainted.
Then she ducked under the table and Merle dived at her. Merle went sailing over her right into the nearest brick wall. She groaned, peeled herself off, and fell to the floor with a loud 'plop'.
The old lady then turned to Hitomi and hissed at her. She grabbed the knife off the table and started jabbing it at Hitomi. Hitomi screamed and jumped back.
"Damnit, you ARE insane!!"
"Yeah, but there's nothing you can do about it now! HHEHEHEHE." The old lady stopped trying to squewer Hitomi and started laughing maniacally. Then her head turned around in a full 360 degree circle and she started foaming at the mouth. Hitomi gulped, turned on her heal, and ran for all she was worth.
The old lady took off after Hitomi. Hitomi looked behind her to see the old lady hot on her heal, snorting like a bull. She looked around frantically for something to fight her off with, but all she could find was a pan hanging on the wall. Snatching it off it's hook, Hitomi whipped around and stood her ground.
The old lady stopped and help up her knife, and Hitomi branded her pan. They began circling each other, and a tumbleweed blew past them. Western music started to play in the background, and their fingers twitched on their weapons. They both realized the change in scenery and turned around to see Van next to a stereo, throwing tumbleweeds everywhere.
Van looked up and smiled sheepishly. "What? It seemed appropriate!"
Hitomi and the old lady shook their heads and Van sighed and turned the music off. "Yeesh, sorry."
Hitomi and the old lady turned to each other again. With a final cry from the old crone they attacked.
The old forture teller put the knife between her teeth and put up her fists in a boxing position. Hitomi put the pan under her arm and did the same. They circled each other again and then Hitomi's arm shot out and hit the woman square in the jaw. She wobbled back, then growled and punched at Hitomi. Hitomi ducked and hopped from one foot to the other, circling the woman.
"You picked the wrong chick to box with, you old fart! I'm the best boxer in my class!"
"You stupid younglings don't know what it is to box!" She screamed, sending a fist flying for Hitomi's stomach. Hitomi grabbed the pan and blocked her fist with it. The lady's fist connected with the pan and she howled and pulled it back. Hitomi chuckled and put the pan back under her arm. She took a deep breath and went all out. She punched the woman in the stomach, then in the jaw, then in her abdomen. Punch, punch, block, punch, block, bite, kick, slap. It suddenly went from a boxing match to an all out bitch-fight. They kicked and slapped and clawed at each other.
"Slut!" Hitomi cursed, slapping the old lady across the face. The fortuneteller gasped and slammed her foot onto Hitomi's.
"Skank!(1)"
Hitomi growled and scratched the old woman across the face.
"Bitch!"
The psychic grabbed onto the little hair Hitomi has and pulled with all her might. Hitomi cried out and tried to swat her away.
"Hoe!"
That was the last straw for Hitomi. She snarled, wound up, and punched the old lady in the stomach. The old woman flew back a good five feet and slammed into the table. The table broke underneath her and they all went down in a pile of smoke. Hitomi grinned and whipped her hands off.
But the old lady wasn't done yet.
She flew up from the debris and landed on her feet. She grabbed a piece of wood and threw it at Hitomi. Suddenly everything went slow motion. Hitomi bent back and the wood sailed above her body, Matrix style. The woman threw more and more wood, and Hitomi moved around in her bent back position, and the wood slowly flew harmlessly by her. Suddenly there was a sound like a record coming to an abrupt halt, and two men in business suits walked out of hammerspace and shoved a piece of paper in Hitomi's face.
"We come from the Copy Right Bureau of Annoying Lawyers, and we demand that this un-authorized imitation of 'The Matrix' come to an imidiate halt! Sam?" He snapped his fingers at his partner. The tall, bulky man walked up to the old lady, grabbed the wood from her hands and snapped it in half. He dropped it onto the floor, stomped on it, then walked away. The old woman looked at the piece of wood with watery eyes.
The two business men bow and walk back into hammerspace.
Hitomi and the old psychic stand with wide eyes for a while before they both snap back to reality.
"Damn annoying lawyers…"
"Really!" the woman snorted. "You think you'd be able to have a little fun without getting your head bitten off!"
They both stared at each other a bit longer, then began circling again. The old lady screamed and slashed at Hitomi with her knife.
Hitomi ducked under the old lady's legs just as she slashed at her, and came up on the other side. She jumped up behind her and whacked her across the head with her pan as hard as she could. There was a loud "BOONNGG" as the pan vibrated after being hit so hard, and the old lady went stiff. Just when Hitomi thought she had won, the woman whipped around and glared at Hitomi.
"Yah know, that kinda hurt."
"Err…yeah. That was the plan…"
"What kind of a nutcase are you!?"
Hitomi stepped back in shock. She opened and shut her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. Finally she just blurted out. "Wa-WHAT!?"
"You heard me! What kind of a psycho goes around hitting people with pans!?"
"B-but you-"
"But I what? Came after you with a knife? Tried to gut your dog-boyfriend over there? Is that any excuse to hit people?"
"YES!"
The lady scowled and shook her knife at Hitomi. Hitomi 'meeped' and backed up. "I swear! You teenagers! So disrespectful!"
Hitomi was completely lost. "I'm…er…sorry?"
"HA! Sorry isn't good enough, missy. Now get your trouble making butt out of here!" She scolded, and pointed to the door.
"Y-yes, m'am!" Hitomi ran to the table, grabbed Van, stuffed him in her shirt and ran over to Merle. She grabbed her by the tail, dragged her over to Allen, grabbed him by the arm and hauled the both of them out of her hut.
"Man…that was WEIRD."
~**~
End of part one! Damn that fight scene was long…oh well ^_^ I had too many idea's. Stay tuned for the next part! Ja!
1) -Everyone at my school calls each other a 'skank'. I just had to add it in ^_^.