~He Loves Me Not~
Author: Lady Windsor (Lady Win)
Rating: PG
E-mail: Ladywin31@aol.com
Type: Alternative Reality/Romance
Teaser: When two long time friends come
together during one's time of need, they realize
that their friendship may be something more.
(Standard Disclaimer Applies)
Author's Notes: Hello to all! This is my first one
part fan fiction. I always thought that you could
never fit a whole story into a one-parter but after
writing this I realize it is easier than I thought. I
would like to thank Marie J.W., Izzy, Ruchie, and
TonTon for their support and patience with me
when I decided to vent out frustrations, which is a
lot. So thanks a million you guys, this wouldn't have
been written with out you. Luv yah! Also, Dream
has a song 'He Loves U Not' this fic has nothing to
do with the song at all, NONE!! And, in the
beginning of this fic it sounds like it is going to be a
Rena/Dar break up fic, which tend to occur during
Season R, but its not so be sure to read on
Um...that's it. E-mail is VERY good!
*~*~*~*
He wanted to take a break. He didn't want to
see her any more. He wanted to remain 'friends'. He
didn't love her anymore. Damn him!!! Damn Seiya
Coltman to HELL and back!
She wanted to scream and shout and hit
something really, REALLY hard! She wanted to cry
and never stop. Would the pain ever do away? She
knew it would but that realization didn't help her
much. Serena Hribar wanted to just stop the pain.
She needed him. So she called him.
*~*~*
He checked his machine as soon as he got
home from the airport. He was exhausted beyond
belief but there was a message and it was probably
Rena. He prayed that she wasn't calling to tell him
that Seiya 'popped the question'. But when she told
him that their two-year anniversary was coming up
on Saturday and that Seiya was talking her to the
restaurant that they had gone to for their first date,
she was expecting a proposal and was already
prepared with the answer.
He told her that was happy for her, which he
was. Kind of. Darien English was a man with many
regrets in life. He could have saved his parents but
he had not. He could have gotten married, three
times, but he had not. And now the day that he
introduced Serena to Seiya was added to the long
and growing list. But he worked past that, she loved
Seiya and Seiya loved her. At least he said he did
but Darien had his doubts. But, Darien had other
motives to doubt Seiya. He knew Seiya the
businessman and Seiya the playboy almost as long
as Serena had been living. Next to Andrew, Seiya
was Darien's best friend, someone he could trust
with his life. But could he trust him with Serena's
life too?
Again, he put that thought into his mental
'Things to Contemplate Later' file and listened as
Serena's voice as her message played. She sounds
like she is about to cry, is it from happiness or hurt
he thought.
"Darien? Are you there? If you are please
pick up? I need to talk to you. It..It's about Seiya.
He.. He broke up with me. I really need to talk to
you. Darien, please answer..."
He never heard the last part of the message.
He was to busy leaving for Serena's.
*~*~*
"Rena," he asked as he closed her front door.
"Where are you?"
"In here," he heard in a chocked whisper,
coming from her bedroom.
He walked in on her sitting in the middle of
her bed, with photographs of her and Seiya spread
all around as she silently wept. A mix of sax and
piano was wafting from the small radio in a lonely
melody. He went over to her, on his way turning
down the radio and getting the box of tissues from
her dresser.
"I always heard the blues were supposed to
make you feel better, so I tried it," Rena mumbled
as she took a tissue to blow her nose. "It doesn't
work to good for me."
"What happened," Darien gently asked as he
took a tissue to her eyes. In a vain attempt to dry
them, considering that the tears just kept coming.
Since it was obvious she was struggling, Darien sat
in front of her on the bed and took her into his arms.
She always felt better within the warm circle of his
arms, she felt protected and safe. As she laid her
weary head on his strong shoulder, she wondered,
not for the first time and probably not the last, why
her head always felt right and perfect on his
shoulder. As if, they were made for each other?
With little prompting from him, she began the sad,
miserable story.
"Well it started out fine. He took me to the
restaurant and we had a very nice dinner. We talked
about nothing and everything; I don't think I had
ever laughed so hard with him. We decided to go
for a walk; he wanted to walk me home. I thought it
was romantic but now I guess that it was stupid,
considering...well anyway. We got to my building
and he still hadn't asked me so I guessed I was
wrong. But when we got outside the door he took
both my hands. And I thought here it comes. But he
broke up with me instead," she finished in nothing
more than a whisper as the tears started again.
Rage and betray ran at a parallel through
Darien as he tightened his hold on Rena's small
frame when she began to weep again.
*~*~*
He didn't believe that Seiya broke up with
her. As he watched her sleep in the middle of her
large wood bed, with pictures of them still spread
around her, while he paced back and forth. He still
didn't believe it.
But in the same breath he was not the least
bit pulsed by it. Seiya had only one care in the
world, himself. And if he had to break young
women's hearts to remain happy, well then he did it.
It hadn't really mattered to Darien. Seiya was a
friend but he didn't butt into Darien's life, love or
otherwise. So Darien didn't butt into his.
Until Serena.
Seiya had first met Rena at one of his boss'
many parties. Darien and Seiya worked for the same
company, under the same boss, only at different
positions. Rena had been so taken with his good
looks and free charm that she hadn't seen the snake
underneath. Until tonight. In a way Darien was
overjoyed that Seiya called it quits because that
meant Rena was available. Maybe this time she
would take him seriously.
He had asked her out to dinner before only
to be told that she was already going on a date that
night or that she would love to. That what friends
did, right? She still thought of him as her best
friend. The boy who sat by her on the bus everyday.
The boy who taught her how to punch a guy and let
her practice on him, even after the two bloody noses
and swollen lip. The boy who she went to the prom
with because her date backed out in the last second.
The man who still remained her best friend after
almost twenty years. And nothing, not even one real
date with him would change that. Why couldn't she
see that?
He knew that answer too well. He was to
scared to tell her what he felt, or how much of it. He
was a chicken. And as that moon reached its full
height and glory, and made it's way through her
window to dance on her skin. He stopped to gaze at
her beauty and wonder if he would ever change.
*~*~*
She awoke groggy and cranky. The tear
stains that streaked her face told of the emotions,
depression and loneliness that had caused her to
call Darien, which had dried up long ago, like her
tears. But the pain remained as a constant reminder
of what the man she believed she loved more than
life itself had done to her. She knew it, like the
depression and loneliness, would soon pass but that
made it no less tolerable.
She sat up and moved to get off the bed
before she remembered the pictures. She picked one
up; it was of the two of them on July 4th of last
year. He had his arm slung around her shoulders
and she was hugging his waist with both of hers. He
looked so happy, then why did he break up with her.
As a million emotions and thoughts whizzed
through her head at a thousand miles an hours, she
began to cry.
She had already been through this. He didn't
love her because she wasn't his "one". She wasn't
right. She had analyzed and analyzed. And she
came up with the same answer every time. Seiya
didn't love her just because. Because she didn't
have that something that he wanted in a wife, a
partner. She just didn't have it and no matter what
she did she never would. Then why did she love
him? She had realized that she never loved him
either; she had talked herself into loving him. But
that didn't lessen the pain or the shock that his
action left on her mind and her heart.
She furiously threw the picture across the
room and all the others followed. Until her room
looked like it had been visited by a hurricane,
Hurricane Rena, and in her wake she left pictures
strewn about. While she surveyed the damage, she
began to cry again. She hated herself for being weak
but knew she needed this.
She was pressing her fingers to her eyes in a
vain try to stop the tears when Darien walked in. He
took one look at the room and summed up what
happened while he approached her. She felt his
arms snake around her waist and remained stiff for
a moment. But as he pulled her back closer to the
strength of his chest she melted into his warmth.
And survived the storm of emotions and tears in
Darien's embrace.
*~*~*
They were walking through the same park
she and Seiya had the night before. As the wind
whipped at her hair, she lifted her face to it. She
was over him; well she was almost over him. She
was so grateful for Darien. Without him she would
have spent the whole weekend wallowing in her
depression. But with him, she managed to smile and
laugh about it. He had cooked her breakfast. He
made her get up and do something. He let her
wallow but not too much and she was grateful. With
Darien she could do anything and be anyone. With
Darien she was safe and loved. Nobody made her
feel like Darien. She needed him like she needed air
or food to live. He was her rock, her haven, her
friend.
Then why did none of her other friends
make her feel like Darien? Even with her best
friends, she never felt as loved or safe or cherished
as she did with Darien. What she felt for him was so
much more that what she felt for anyone else. Not
one of her past boyfriends had made her feel like
this. She knew that even if Seiya had asked her to
marry him she could not have gone through with it.
He was not Darien. She loved Darien.
She loved Darien. No she didn't, her mind
screamed in denial. Darien was her friend, her
BEST friend. Not the man she wanted to spend the
rest of her life with. But he was. She could never
imagine a future with any of her old loves. Yet,
when she thought of the future she could have with
Darien, it stretched on for years and years. She
thought of children, she had never imagined having
children, but when Darien was the father she
imagined having millions. She loved him.
She, Serena Hribar, loved Darien English
.
She wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
She wanted the entire world to know that she was in
love. She wanted to dance and scream and cry, all at
the same time. Without ever stopping. But first she
would have to tell Darien.
As they approached her building, she tried
desperately to work up the courage to tell him. The
courage to even look at him but that was not
needed. He put his fingers under her chin and
pushed up her downcast head towards him. And, for
the first time in a long time, she looked into his
eyes. In them she saw everything she had ever
wanted in life. A family, a future, and a man to
grow old with. A man to love for all eternity. But
what if he did not feel the same way as she did?
What if he didn't even want to be her friend? That
realization caused the words of love to die in her
throat. What if he didn't love her?
For one moment in her eyes he had seen
hope and longing, which was a big step from the
depression and sadness that he had seen earlier.
Then why was she so sad all of a sudden?
"Rena, what's the matter? You can tell me,"
he asked as he thought of something, anything he
could do to stop the tears that lingered on the
surface of her eyes.
"No.. nothing, Darien," she stated in a
broken whisper but with a deep breath she gained
more confidence. "Nothing at all. Thank you for
everything but right now I just want to be left
alone."
He nodded his head and slipped his arms
around her for a quick hug before he went. He
expected her to lightly hug him back, pull away
with one of her fake smiles, and waltz into her
building. But she didn't, she clung to him. She
gripped so hard he almost overbalanced and fell
over. And when she laid her head on his shoulder,
all he could think was. Love me Serena, just love
me and I will protect you. I will love you forever;
just love me back. Yet, with a grimace, he realized
that she never would. He started to pull away when,
with all the courage she could muster. She laid her
arms around his neck, pulled his head down and
kissed him.
For a second, she thought she had made a
mistake in kissing him. That he would push her
away, in shock or disgust, it didn't matter which for
her result would be the same. He didn't push away;
he pulled her closer. He didn't mean to crush her
small frame against him but he did. He didn't mean
to deepen the kiss but when she parted her lips with
a small sigh, he couldn't resist. For a moment he
even forgot that they were in the middle of a very
crowed, very public street.
All that mattered was that she never stopped
kissing him.
This had to stop she told herself. Its wrong
her mind screamed. No it's not, was her heart's only
reply. After what seemed like a century to her he
pulled away to stare into her eyes. She stepped
back, what she saw in his eyes was frightening.
Desire, Longing, and...LOVE! He loved her; she
could not have been more ecstatic.
"I love you, Darien." That was all she said to
him before she turned toward her building.
His hand grasped her wrist and pulled her
back into the warmth of his embrace. And as his
arms snuck around her slender waist he whispered,
"I love you, Serena. I always have and I
always will." And as her kissed her; she knew this
man was the one. The one she was meant to love,
cherish, and protect. The man she was meant to
have children with and grow old with.
She had always thought love was
complicated. But now she realized it was the most
basic thing in the world. Love was the basis for
everything and no one could live without it.
When Darien removed his lips from hers
and she took his hand to lead him into her building,
she knew her life would never be the same again.
And she was never more grateful for anything in her
entire life.
Serena Hribar loved Darien English. Darien
English loved Serena Hribar. And the rest, as they
say, was history.
*~*~*~*
That's it. My first attempt at short stories is done.
What did you think? All comments go to
Ladywin31@aol.com. And visit my website at
www.lunarromance31.homestead.com
Bye,
L. Win
"He Loves Me Not" Copyright 2001- Lady Windsor
Author: Lady Windsor (Lady Win)
Rating: PG
E-mail: Ladywin31@aol.com
Type: Alternative Reality/Romance
Teaser: When two long time friends come
together during one's time of need, they realize
that their friendship may be something more.
(Standard Disclaimer Applies)
Author's Notes: Hello to all! This is my first one
part fan fiction. I always thought that you could
never fit a whole story into a one-parter but after
writing this I realize it is easier than I thought. I
would like to thank Marie J.W., Izzy, Ruchie, and
TonTon for their support and patience with me
when I decided to vent out frustrations, which is a
lot. So thanks a million you guys, this wouldn't have
been written with out you. Luv yah! Also, Dream
has a song 'He Loves U Not' this fic has nothing to
do with the song at all, NONE!! And, in the
beginning of this fic it sounds like it is going to be a
Rena/Dar break up fic, which tend to occur during
Season R, but its not so be sure to read on
Um...that's it. E-mail is VERY good!
*~*~*~*
He wanted to take a break. He didn't want to
see her any more. He wanted to remain 'friends'. He
didn't love her anymore. Damn him!!! Damn Seiya
Coltman to HELL and back!
She wanted to scream and shout and hit
something really, REALLY hard! She wanted to cry
and never stop. Would the pain ever do away? She
knew it would but that realization didn't help her
much. Serena Hribar wanted to just stop the pain.
She needed him. So she called him.
*~*~*
He checked his machine as soon as he got
home from the airport. He was exhausted beyond
belief but there was a message and it was probably
Rena. He prayed that she wasn't calling to tell him
that Seiya 'popped the question'. But when she told
him that their two-year anniversary was coming up
on Saturday and that Seiya was talking her to the
restaurant that they had gone to for their first date,
she was expecting a proposal and was already
prepared with the answer.
He told her that was happy for her, which he
was. Kind of. Darien English was a man with many
regrets in life. He could have saved his parents but
he had not. He could have gotten married, three
times, but he had not. And now the day that he
introduced Serena to Seiya was added to the long
and growing list. But he worked past that, she loved
Seiya and Seiya loved her. At least he said he did
but Darien had his doubts. But, Darien had other
motives to doubt Seiya. He knew Seiya the
businessman and Seiya the playboy almost as long
as Serena had been living. Next to Andrew, Seiya
was Darien's best friend, someone he could trust
with his life. But could he trust him with Serena's
life too?
Again, he put that thought into his mental
'Things to Contemplate Later' file and listened as
Serena's voice as her message played. She sounds
like she is about to cry, is it from happiness or hurt
he thought.
"Darien? Are you there? If you are please
pick up? I need to talk to you. It..It's about Seiya.
He.. He broke up with me. I really need to talk to
you. Darien, please answer..."
He never heard the last part of the message.
He was to busy leaving for Serena's.
*~*~*
"Rena," he asked as he closed her front door.
"Where are you?"
"In here," he heard in a chocked whisper,
coming from her bedroom.
He walked in on her sitting in the middle of
her bed, with photographs of her and Seiya spread
all around as she silently wept. A mix of sax and
piano was wafting from the small radio in a lonely
melody. He went over to her, on his way turning
down the radio and getting the box of tissues from
her dresser.
"I always heard the blues were supposed to
make you feel better, so I tried it," Rena mumbled
as she took a tissue to blow her nose. "It doesn't
work to good for me."
"What happened," Darien gently asked as he
took a tissue to her eyes. In a vain attempt to dry
them, considering that the tears just kept coming.
Since it was obvious she was struggling, Darien sat
in front of her on the bed and took her into his arms.
She always felt better within the warm circle of his
arms, she felt protected and safe. As she laid her
weary head on his strong shoulder, she wondered,
not for the first time and probably not the last, why
her head always felt right and perfect on his
shoulder. As if, they were made for each other?
With little prompting from him, she began the sad,
miserable story.
"Well it started out fine. He took me to the
restaurant and we had a very nice dinner. We talked
about nothing and everything; I don't think I had
ever laughed so hard with him. We decided to go
for a walk; he wanted to walk me home. I thought it
was romantic but now I guess that it was stupid,
considering...well anyway. We got to my building
and he still hadn't asked me so I guessed I was
wrong. But when we got outside the door he took
both my hands. And I thought here it comes. But he
broke up with me instead," she finished in nothing
more than a whisper as the tears started again.
Rage and betray ran at a parallel through
Darien as he tightened his hold on Rena's small
frame when she began to weep again.
*~*~*
He didn't believe that Seiya broke up with
her. As he watched her sleep in the middle of her
large wood bed, with pictures of them still spread
around her, while he paced back and forth. He still
didn't believe it.
But in the same breath he was not the least
bit pulsed by it. Seiya had only one care in the
world, himself. And if he had to break young
women's hearts to remain happy, well then he did it.
It hadn't really mattered to Darien. Seiya was a
friend but he didn't butt into Darien's life, love or
otherwise. So Darien didn't butt into his.
Until Serena.
Seiya had first met Rena at one of his boss'
many parties. Darien and Seiya worked for the same
company, under the same boss, only at different
positions. Rena had been so taken with his good
looks and free charm that she hadn't seen the snake
underneath. Until tonight. In a way Darien was
overjoyed that Seiya called it quits because that
meant Rena was available. Maybe this time she
would take him seriously.
He had asked her out to dinner before only
to be told that she was already going on a date that
night or that she would love to. That what friends
did, right? She still thought of him as her best
friend. The boy who sat by her on the bus everyday.
The boy who taught her how to punch a guy and let
her practice on him, even after the two bloody noses
and swollen lip. The boy who she went to the prom
with because her date backed out in the last second.
The man who still remained her best friend after
almost twenty years. And nothing, not even one real
date with him would change that. Why couldn't she
see that?
He knew that answer too well. He was to
scared to tell her what he felt, or how much of it. He
was a chicken. And as that moon reached its full
height and glory, and made it's way through her
window to dance on her skin. He stopped to gaze at
her beauty and wonder if he would ever change.
*~*~*
She awoke groggy and cranky. The tear
stains that streaked her face told of the emotions,
depression and loneliness that had caused her to
call Darien, which had dried up long ago, like her
tears. But the pain remained as a constant reminder
of what the man she believed she loved more than
life itself had done to her. She knew it, like the
depression and loneliness, would soon pass but that
made it no less tolerable.
She sat up and moved to get off the bed
before she remembered the pictures. She picked one
up; it was of the two of them on July 4th of last
year. He had his arm slung around her shoulders
and she was hugging his waist with both of hers. He
looked so happy, then why did he break up with her.
As a million emotions and thoughts whizzed
through her head at a thousand miles an hours, she
began to cry.
She had already been through this. He didn't
love her because she wasn't his "one". She wasn't
right. She had analyzed and analyzed. And she
came up with the same answer every time. Seiya
didn't love her just because. Because she didn't
have that something that he wanted in a wife, a
partner. She just didn't have it and no matter what
she did she never would. Then why did she love
him? She had realized that she never loved him
either; she had talked herself into loving him. But
that didn't lessen the pain or the shock that his
action left on her mind and her heart.
She furiously threw the picture across the
room and all the others followed. Until her room
looked like it had been visited by a hurricane,
Hurricane Rena, and in her wake she left pictures
strewn about. While she surveyed the damage, she
began to cry again. She hated herself for being weak
but knew she needed this.
She was pressing her fingers to her eyes in a
vain try to stop the tears when Darien walked in. He
took one look at the room and summed up what
happened while he approached her. She felt his
arms snake around her waist and remained stiff for
a moment. But as he pulled her back closer to the
strength of his chest she melted into his warmth.
And survived the storm of emotions and tears in
Darien's embrace.
*~*~*
They were walking through the same park
she and Seiya had the night before. As the wind
whipped at her hair, she lifted her face to it. She
was over him; well she was almost over him. She
was so grateful for Darien. Without him she would
have spent the whole weekend wallowing in her
depression. But with him, she managed to smile and
laugh about it. He had cooked her breakfast. He
made her get up and do something. He let her
wallow but not too much and she was grateful. With
Darien she could do anything and be anyone. With
Darien she was safe and loved. Nobody made her
feel like Darien. She needed him like she needed air
or food to live. He was her rock, her haven, her
friend.
Then why did none of her other friends
make her feel like Darien? Even with her best
friends, she never felt as loved or safe or cherished
as she did with Darien. What she felt for him was so
much more that what she felt for anyone else. Not
one of her past boyfriends had made her feel like
this. She knew that even if Seiya had asked her to
marry him she could not have gone through with it.
He was not Darien. She loved Darien.
She loved Darien. No she didn't, her mind
screamed in denial. Darien was her friend, her
BEST friend. Not the man she wanted to spend the
rest of her life with. But he was. She could never
imagine a future with any of her old loves. Yet,
when she thought of the future she could have with
Darien, it stretched on for years and years. She
thought of children, she had never imagined having
children, but when Darien was the father she
imagined having millions. She loved him.
She, Serena Hribar, loved Darien English
.
She wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
She wanted the entire world to know that she was in
love. She wanted to dance and scream and cry, all at
the same time. Without ever stopping. But first she
would have to tell Darien.
As they approached her building, she tried
desperately to work up the courage to tell him. The
courage to even look at him but that was not
needed. He put his fingers under her chin and
pushed up her downcast head towards him. And, for
the first time in a long time, she looked into his
eyes. In them she saw everything she had ever
wanted in life. A family, a future, and a man to
grow old with. A man to love for all eternity. But
what if he did not feel the same way as she did?
What if he didn't even want to be her friend? That
realization caused the words of love to die in her
throat. What if he didn't love her?
For one moment in her eyes he had seen
hope and longing, which was a big step from the
depression and sadness that he had seen earlier.
Then why was she so sad all of a sudden?
"Rena, what's the matter? You can tell me,"
he asked as he thought of something, anything he
could do to stop the tears that lingered on the
surface of her eyes.
"No.. nothing, Darien," she stated in a
broken whisper but with a deep breath she gained
more confidence. "Nothing at all. Thank you for
everything but right now I just want to be left
alone."
He nodded his head and slipped his arms
around her for a quick hug before he went. He
expected her to lightly hug him back, pull away
with one of her fake smiles, and waltz into her
building. But she didn't, she clung to him. She
gripped so hard he almost overbalanced and fell
over. And when she laid her head on his shoulder,
all he could think was. Love me Serena, just love
me and I will protect you. I will love you forever;
just love me back. Yet, with a grimace, he realized
that she never would. He started to pull away when,
with all the courage she could muster. She laid her
arms around his neck, pulled his head down and
kissed him.
For a second, she thought she had made a
mistake in kissing him. That he would push her
away, in shock or disgust, it didn't matter which for
her result would be the same. He didn't push away;
he pulled her closer. He didn't mean to crush her
small frame against him but he did. He didn't mean
to deepen the kiss but when she parted her lips with
a small sigh, he couldn't resist. For a moment he
even forgot that they were in the middle of a very
crowed, very public street.
All that mattered was that she never stopped
kissing him.
This had to stop she told herself. Its wrong
her mind screamed. No it's not, was her heart's only
reply. After what seemed like a century to her he
pulled away to stare into her eyes. She stepped
back, what she saw in his eyes was frightening.
Desire, Longing, and...LOVE! He loved her; she
could not have been more ecstatic.
"I love you, Darien." That was all she said to
him before she turned toward her building.
His hand grasped her wrist and pulled her
back into the warmth of his embrace. And as his
arms snuck around her slender waist he whispered,
"I love you, Serena. I always have and I
always will." And as her kissed her; she knew this
man was the one. The one she was meant to love,
cherish, and protect. The man she was meant to
have children with and grow old with.
She had always thought love was
complicated. But now she realized it was the most
basic thing in the world. Love was the basis for
everything and no one could live without it.
When Darien removed his lips from hers
and she took his hand to lead him into her building,
she knew her life would never be the same again.
And she was never more grateful for anything in her
entire life.
Serena Hribar loved Darien English. Darien
English loved Serena Hribar. And the rest, as they
say, was history.
*~*~*~*
That's it. My first attempt at short stories is done.
What did you think? All comments go to
Ladywin31@aol.com. And visit my website at
www.lunarromance31.homestead.com
Bye,
L. Win
"He Loves Me Not" Copyright 2001- Lady Windsor