Author: JediK1

Author: JediK1

Date: 6/23/01

Spoilers: Existence

Rating: PG, because I use 'damn' once…um…ok, twice. ;-)

Archive: This will be on my web page with my other writings and such. Anyone else…I'd love it! Just let me know where!

Author's Note: Thanks to X- Girl X- File for beta-ing this for me! Also, this whole story is from Scully's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but that doesn't mean I can't play with them, right?

The Rain

By JediK1

Dana Katherine Scully, the FBI's own 'Ice Queen', the woman who cut open corpses without blinking, did not know what to do.

Since laying William down for a nap after Mulder's departure a half-hour ago and seating herself on the soft, comfortable sofa, Scully had not moved one inch. Her mind had shut itself off, attempting to sort through the jumbled thoughts and emotions. Each one contrasted the next, fighting for domination over the others in a mass battle that Scully's conscious mind could not handle. Now, after a quarter of an hour, no progress had been made; no winner had been chosen.

Scully blinked once, twice. She forced her mind to take over, battling the screaming voices until they became a quiet murmur in the background. Now she could think, and decide where to go from here.

Mulder's visit had been a surprise, and the kiss… the kiss was certainly unexpected. Even after eight long years of working on the X-Files, Scully still disliked that which she could not predict.

But what shocked her even more was when she began to return the kiss.

When had she fallen in love with him? She had only realized the truth about her feelings toward him when he had leaned forward, holding her son –their son- in his strong arms. The shield that she so faithfully held before her, masking her emotions, blocking the truth about her feelings from the world and herself, had exploded in the electric wave that passed through his lips into hers. Her carefully constructed walls had come crashing down, and Mulder had understood enough to know that he could not help her rebuild them just yet. Scully would have to pick up the first piece on her own, and decide whether or not there was a place for her partner in her new life.

But even as Scully sat there in the dark, listening to the steady rhythm of the new rain outside, she knew that she could never live without Mulder.

Again, the question rose in her mind. When did she fall in love with him? She thought of every long flight or drive, every night spent in cheap motels, every tedious report filled with adjusted versions of Mulder's crackpot theories. Still, she could not pinpoint the moment she fell in love with 'Spooky' Mulder; the FBI's most unwanted, but most brilliant mind.

She could, however, remember every damn sunflower seed. She could perfectly recall the number of times she had to remove 'Frohike's' movies from the VCR in their office, or every stray lock of hair that she had brushed aside while waiting for him to wake up in a hospital.

Funny, how those small moments mean so much, even if you don't realize it at the time.

Dana Scully almost laughed, but opted for a small smile instead. These past few months had changed her life. Every belief she had ever held had been shattered; the broken pieces scattered like the stars that had claimed Mulder nine months ago.

Maybe something inside had realized that she loved him when he disappeared. There had certainly been more driving her search for him than pure friendship. He was her best friend, true, but even then, had he been more?

With a sigh, Dana stood, stretching her cramped muscles as she did. Her thoughts continued to chase each other around in circles, and there was no end to their mischief in site.

As Scully stood in her darkened living room, she listened as the rain gently tapped on her window. A sudden impulse struck her, and for once, Scully decided to listen to it. She grabbed the baby monitor and headed outside, not even bothering to take her jacket.

In moments she was out the door, and the warm summer rain was cascading down from the heavens in cleansing waves. The droplets fell upon her, soaking her body so thoroughly that it penetrated her skin and muscles, slipped silently past bone, until it was cleansing her heart.

In those brief seconds, Scully felt a burden washed from her slim shoulders. The emotions that had run rampant since Mulder had left quieted and settled into place.

Scully raised her head to the dispersing clouds, listening as the sound of the diminishing rain sang in time to the beat of her overflowing heart.

Tomorrow the sun would rise, clear and strong, above a new and cleansed Earth. And as the last of the rain died away, leaving her in silence, Scully knew that she would not greet it alone.