Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I wish I did, but I don't. So, you know, whatever.
Family Matters
Dib ran stumbling down the stairs. He was late, really late, so late he actually hurt.
"Gotta go dad!" He ran out the door eyes fixed on his watch. He had about three minuets to make it to his first hour class or he was smoked.
Professor Membrane looked up from his laptop screen that showed the mornings news. He sighed. "He's so much like his mother." He went back to his laptop and waited for his toast to finish.
* * *
Dib scurried down the hall. He had made it to school in two minuets. Panting for breath he raced to his first class.
On his way in the door he smacked right into Zim.
"Arg! You freak accident of the universe! Get off me!" Zim yelled pushing Dib off of him.
Dib stood up. "Thanks for breaking my fall you green pseudo-monkey."
Zims' eyes got squinty at the idea that he was in any way related to the Human race. "I'll!"
"Sit down!" Miss Bitters shrieked at them.
Both enemies zipped to their respectable desks and folded their hands on the desktops.
Miss Bitters started into telling her students just how doomed they were and how doomed their children were when Dib got smacked in the head with a wad of paper.
He picked it up off his desk and opened it out of curiosity.
'Ever wonder about interspecies breeding?'
It was scrawled on the paper in Zims' handwriting.
Dib's face became very grim. He had a bad feeling about what Zim was leading up to and was soon deep in thought trying to figure it out when another paper ball hit him in the head.
He opened this one too and cast a glare at Zim.
'Think Gaz would mind?'
Something in Dibs' obsessive mind snapped and he gripped the papers until they tore. That worthless little, a string of profanity followed. If he even looked at Gaz funny he'd kill the alien on sight.
He scribbled down a response and nailed Zim in the head with its' return.
Zim opened it up. He turned it upside down eyes getting wide. He looked at Dib. He had been unaware the Human could be so profane.
* * *
Dib stood guard around his sister against Zim. She got increasingly annoyed and lost him somewhere around the jungle gym during recess.
Frustrated and afraid for her safety he was relieved when the bell to go home sounded. He stuck with her on the way home keeping an eye out for Zim. Thankfully the alien scourge had not decided to follow them.
Once home Dib dropped his things and raced to his fathers' lab hoping he was there and not across town.
He flung open the door and went in. "Dad! I got a question for you!"
"Not now son, I'm trying to get this to tie right." He went back to the tennis shoe he was lacing up.
"Uh. Dad? I really need to ask you a question." There was no real answer from his father. "It's about aliens, you know." Still nothing. "Do you think they could interbreed with Humans?"
This got an unexpected and rather violent reaction from the professor.
"No! Of course not! I mean, uh, no." The professor pulled at his lab coat collar. "Why what did you hear?"
Dib looked at him blankly. "Well, you know that alien I told you about?"
"The little green foreign kid."
"Yeah sure. He's a real alien dad, from outer space."
The professor stood blankly, then. "No he isn't."
Dib raised an eyebrow. "Okay, anyway. I think he wants to interbreed with Gaz just make me mad. I can't let him do that! I was wondering if you knew if it would be possible."
"Son." The Professor got down to his level. "There comes a time in every males life when they feel these 'urges'."
Dib smacked his forehead. "I know about that! You told me when I was five!" He sighed. "Oh forget it." He went out the door looking defeated.
The Professor watched his son leave then reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture. It was of a woman with violet hair, amber eyes and smooth green skin. He sighed and put it back before going to his work.
* * *
Zim cackled as he went over the reaction Dib had to his note. It had been a stroke of genius to use mention of Dibs' sister like that. He still had Dibs' reply and was thinking of framing it.
Suddenly the screen in front of him came to life.
"Unknown transmission." The computer said.
Curious Zim responded. Turned out it wasn't direct at him. He patched in a hidden connection so he could watch without being noticed.
Two separate screens lowered. One came up with the image of Professor Membrane. An odd thing considering the transmission was supposed be Irken based.
The second screen came up with the image of a female Irken.
Zims' antenna perked up. This was interesting.
"Mera." The Prof. said in a way that could only be described as 'love sick'.
"Membrane, what's wrong?" The female that Zim presumed was Mera said.
"It's Dib. He's been chasing someone he claims is an alien. Today he came in asking about interspecies breeding."
Mera raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Really now?" She glanced at another screen on her side. Tapping of keys could be heard. "Oh my."
"What is it?"
"Seems the Tallest sent Zim in that direction. This is bad, he's really incompetent but does his job." More tapping. "And he has reached Earth. Maybe that's who our little baby-kins is chasing."
Zim boiled with rage up until the moment that Mera said 'Baby-kins'. Now he had to fight to keep from laughing.
"He's a lot like you. He's always late."
Mera shot him a look. "What about Gazzy? Is my little fighter pilot still playing her games?"
The Prof. nodded. "She won't put down her GameSlave. She's got your temper too."
"I have to cut out now Memie my little love monkey." Mera said.
Zim looked disgusted.
"Bye muffin."
The transmission ended.
Zim absorbed this vague information. The Irken female was talking about Dib and Gaz like a female fawning over her natural born children.
His eyes got incredibly wide.
"Dib's half Irken!" Zim screeched as he leapt up in his chair.
Gir wandered past and lifted his arms his face split in a wide and mindless grin. "YAY!"
"This changes everything!" Zim lowered his voice and contemplated what he could do with this new information. "So, my own enemy is a part of my race. That means he would be allowed into the empire." He jumped off his chair and started to pace.
"But that means Gaz is half Irken too. And programmed to be a fighter pilot." That was a good thing for her. Specially programmed pilots got good jobs and saw the most action. Zim almost envied them.
He could use this information against Dib. He may be a part of his race by blood but he would fight for Earth.
Zim rubbed his hands together and snickered evilly. He would have fun with this.
Family Matters
Dib ran stumbling down the stairs. He was late, really late, so late he actually hurt.
"Gotta go dad!" He ran out the door eyes fixed on his watch. He had about three minuets to make it to his first hour class or he was smoked.
Professor Membrane looked up from his laptop screen that showed the mornings news. He sighed. "He's so much like his mother." He went back to his laptop and waited for his toast to finish.
* * *
Dib scurried down the hall. He had made it to school in two minuets. Panting for breath he raced to his first class.
On his way in the door he smacked right into Zim.
"Arg! You freak accident of the universe! Get off me!" Zim yelled pushing Dib off of him.
Dib stood up. "Thanks for breaking my fall you green pseudo-monkey."
Zims' eyes got squinty at the idea that he was in any way related to the Human race. "I'll!"
"Sit down!" Miss Bitters shrieked at them.
Both enemies zipped to their respectable desks and folded their hands on the desktops.
Miss Bitters started into telling her students just how doomed they were and how doomed their children were when Dib got smacked in the head with a wad of paper.
He picked it up off his desk and opened it out of curiosity.
'Ever wonder about interspecies breeding?'
It was scrawled on the paper in Zims' handwriting.
Dib's face became very grim. He had a bad feeling about what Zim was leading up to and was soon deep in thought trying to figure it out when another paper ball hit him in the head.
He opened this one too and cast a glare at Zim.
'Think Gaz would mind?'
Something in Dibs' obsessive mind snapped and he gripped the papers until they tore. That worthless little, a string of profanity followed. If he even looked at Gaz funny he'd kill the alien on sight.
He scribbled down a response and nailed Zim in the head with its' return.
Zim opened it up. He turned it upside down eyes getting wide. He looked at Dib. He had been unaware the Human could be so profane.
* * *
Dib stood guard around his sister against Zim. She got increasingly annoyed and lost him somewhere around the jungle gym during recess.
Frustrated and afraid for her safety he was relieved when the bell to go home sounded. He stuck with her on the way home keeping an eye out for Zim. Thankfully the alien scourge had not decided to follow them.
Once home Dib dropped his things and raced to his fathers' lab hoping he was there and not across town.
He flung open the door and went in. "Dad! I got a question for you!"
"Not now son, I'm trying to get this to tie right." He went back to the tennis shoe he was lacing up.
"Uh. Dad? I really need to ask you a question." There was no real answer from his father. "It's about aliens, you know." Still nothing. "Do you think they could interbreed with Humans?"
This got an unexpected and rather violent reaction from the professor.
"No! Of course not! I mean, uh, no." The professor pulled at his lab coat collar. "Why what did you hear?"
Dib looked at him blankly. "Well, you know that alien I told you about?"
"The little green foreign kid."
"Yeah sure. He's a real alien dad, from outer space."
The professor stood blankly, then. "No he isn't."
Dib raised an eyebrow. "Okay, anyway. I think he wants to interbreed with Gaz just make me mad. I can't let him do that! I was wondering if you knew if it would be possible."
"Son." The Professor got down to his level. "There comes a time in every males life when they feel these 'urges'."
Dib smacked his forehead. "I know about that! You told me when I was five!" He sighed. "Oh forget it." He went out the door looking defeated.
The Professor watched his son leave then reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture. It was of a woman with violet hair, amber eyes and smooth green skin. He sighed and put it back before going to his work.
* * *
Zim cackled as he went over the reaction Dib had to his note. It had been a stroke of genius to use mention of Dibs' sister like that. He still had Dibs' reply and was thinking of framing it.
Suddenly the screen in front of him came to life.
"Unknown transmission." The computer said.
Curious Zim responded. Turned out it wasn't direct at him. He patched in a hidden connection so he could watch without being noticed.
Two separate screens lowered. One came up with the image of Professor Membrane. An odd thing considering the transmission was supposed be Irken based.
The second screen came up with the image of a female Irken.
Zims' antenna perked up. This was interesting.
"Mera." The Prof. said in a way that could only be described as 'love sick'.
"Membrane, what's wrong?" The female that Zim presumed was Mera said.
"It's Dib. He's been chasing someone he claims is an alien. Today he came in asking about interspecies breeding."
Mera raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Really now?" She glanced at another screen on her side. Tapping of keys could be heard. "Oh my."
"What is it?"
"Seems the Tallest sent Zim in that direction. This is bad, he's really incompetent but does his job." More tapping. "And he has reached Earth. Maybe that's who our little baby-kins is chasing."
Zim boiled with rage up until the moment that Mera said 'Baby-kins'. Now he had to fight to keep from laughing.
"He's a lot like you. He's always late."
Mera shot him a look. "What about Gazzy? Is my little fighter pilot still playing her games?"
The Prof. nodded. "She won't put down her GameSlave. She's got your temper too."
"I have to cut out now Memie my little love monkey." Mera said.
Zim looked disgusted.
"Bye muffin."
The transmission ended.
Zim absorbed this vague information. The Irken female was talking about Dib and Gaz like a female fawning over her natural born children.
His eyes got incredibly wide.
"Dib's half Irken!" Zim screeched as he leapt up in his chair.
Gir wandered past and lifted his arms his face split in a wide and mindless grin. "YAY!"
"This changes everything!" Zim lowered his voice and contemplated what he could do with this new information. "So, my own enemy is a part of my race. That means he would be allowed into the empire." He jumped off his chair and started to pace.
"But that means Gaz is half Irken too. And programmed to be a fighter pilot." That was a good thing for her. Specially programmed pilots got good jobs and saw the most action. Zim almost envied them.
He could use this information against Dib. He may be a part of his race by blood but he would fight for Earth.
Zim rubbed his hands together and snickered evilly. He would have fun with this.