I sense there's something in the wind.
I don't want to go to this party, but since Sister asked me, I will. After all it's for Ciel, not him. I can't get over him, no matter how much I try. He invades my mind, he won't leave my heart. I am such a sinful woman, having married. Angelina Durless Barnett. Even then I cannot forget the pain of being unnoticed. I will just have to avoid him. I'll avoid Him, for my sake, for Sister's sake, for Ciel's sake.
Why is the driver stopping the carriage? It's just a little more to the manor. I step out of the carriage, and what I see shocks me. Red. That colour You make me love, the colour that You make me hate. It covers your and Sisters house in red, crimson flames. They dance teasingly, hauntingly.
It feels like tragedies at hand.
"Rachael," I cry. "Nephew, Ciel, Sister". I scream Your name. "Vincent….Vincent Phantomhive"! There is no reply to my plies, to my screams, my shouts. Just the sound of those flames that swirl menacingly, engulfing your home. A few hours later the once splendorous mansion is in sooty ruins. There is little left of Phantomhive Manor.
There is nothing left; we found your bodies, holding onto each other till the end. I am jealous. I wanted You to notice me that way, so that even if it was our fate to die, it would be together. I remember when I was young, when we had only just met. You told me my red hair was "beautiful, just like the colour of red spider lilies in full bloom". You said red suited me. Yet that colour only brings me sadness.
A while later, after that happened, I guess you could say I couldn't take it anymore. Those women who didn't deserve to have children don't want to have children, yet I cannot. My husband, though he wasn't You, had been a good man. I had met him, Lord Barnett, at a party. He hadn't minded if I loved You. I remember him being so excited when he found out I was pregnant.
"Is it a girl or a boy"? My husband sits next to me, happy and gleaming with joy. I can honestly say I love him right now. Ah, the fire feels warm. "This is as perfect as my life can get," I think delightedly. I am happy now. Maybe I can even forget You.
"Men are so impatient," I joke. "I don't know yet". He hugs me and I can see in his eyes the wonder of the thought of a child. Our child. I will love it, him or her. I think about that and a thought creeps into my head. It will be his child. Not yours.
When Sister had her child, I was amazed at the new life. The new life that belonged to her and You. So small, fragile, perfect lying in my arms as I helped to deliver him. I was once again jealous. And he looks like You. Ciel, You name him. Heaven, I could never have you.
Then that accident happens. My husband dies, and to save my life, the doctors perform a surgery. My child is taken, perhaps he was already dead. When I wake up, I am told I can never have children. I am alone. I lost the people who I learning to love, to adore. I think I wish I had died with them. Sister visits to cheer me up, but does she just make me hate her?
I come back to where I am, the present, and out of my flashback. I am washing the blood off my hands from the last surgery. Those prostitutes, why can they have children but not I? They take so much for granted. I will take this no longer.
And though I'd like to stand by him,
I remembered the last one's address. I walk to it; I don't want to have any one find me out. It's dingy in this part of town, especially at night. I will have to add some colour to it, won't I? Perfect timing, a man is saying goodbye, a drunk smile on his face. She waves and I wait for him to disappear around the corner. I calmly walk toward her.
"You're the one from that one time…". She doesn't finish and the alley way is painted in the red of her blood. It spurts into the dark night from the dagger wound to the thought. I make sure I'm finished when I hear a voice behind me.
"Oh my, what a job you have completed..." A voice called out sweetly. I glance up to see a man, completely dressed in red, standing on the churches rooftop, holding onto the steeple in the moonlight. "I have been observing you. Thanks to you, the death list in this area is filled to the brim." He jumps down, and strides toward me.
Can't shake this feeling that I have.
"Makes me real busy indeed. I can understand your feelings; its only right that women like them should die". He smiles, and his teeth shine. I gasp. They were sharp, and not unlike fangs. He is lean, red haired, and seems slightly feminine." Like you, I also want a child but I can't have my wish fulfilled since I am a guy. We actually share the same fate". Somehow, I feel a pull toward him. "Let me help you in this", he pauses. "In this interesting…..business".
I decide to listen to him and he tells me of who he is, what he is, and why he wants to help me. His name is Grell, a Shinigami or Death God. He will help me take revenge on the horrible women who don't appreciate their ability to have children.
The worst is just around the bend.