Forbidden Emotions

By: SoulSister

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: Forget it, you know I'm not that rich

Okay, this is a story I came up with just today and I really have no idea where the idea for this came from so just bare with me. It's kind of an alternate reality story but only for some reasons. I can't really explain them without giving away the story so just enjoy.

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Chapter One - Welcome to My Life

~ Syaoran's POV ~

" Hurry up Syaoran-sama, your mother is waiting for you " called up one of the servants from downstairs.

" I'm coming, I'm coming " I muttered irritatedly.' I don't see why I have to come on this stupid trip anyway ' I thought.' It okaa-san's job to make international peace, not mine. And of all people, did she have to invite Meiling to go with us? '

" Syaoran-kun, are you coming or what? " Meiling asked impatiently suddenly appearing outside my door.' Speak of the devil ... '

" Hai Meiling-san, I'm coming " I answered and shut my suitcase.

" Well hurry it up already, the chauffeur can't wait forever you know " she told him then turned walked down the hall. I sighed wearily and followed after her, my suitcase in hand.

' It's hard to believe I'm going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life ' I thought.' How sad is that? ' Before I got half way to the car a servant suddenly appeared beside me.

" Here Syaoran-sama, let me take that for you. You don't have to carry that, that's my job "he said taking the suitcase out of my hand and carrying it to the car.

" Uh huh " I replied and walked away. Not that I'm trying to be rude or anything but sometimes having servants and being rich isn't all it's cracked up to be. You'd think it's all glamorous and fun but it's not. It's really annoying to have servants and maids following you around all the time. You'd think we were helpless or something.

As I neared the car I stood and waited patiently for the chauffeur to come open the door. I'd do it myself but okaa-san always scolded me about it." That's what the chauffeur's for " she'd always say. Sometimes I wish we were a normal family but needless to say, we're not. And in more ways than one.

Not only are we the most powerful family in all of China but we also all happen to be sorcerers, with the exception. Descendants of Clow Read, the most powerful sorcerer the world has ever known. You think all of this would make my life pretty exciting and to you, it probably would be. But to me this is what I call a living hell.

All I've ever done all my life is train, train and train. You wouldn't believe how many times I wish I'd been born a girl or something; at least I wouldn't have to worry about my stupid training and the clan all the time.

" You have to train if you ever want to be successful as the clan leader " okaa-san would tell me.

But I never wanted to be the clan leader; that sexist rule about being a male decided that. All I ever wanted was to be a normal teenager, with a normal life and a normal family. Guess God didn't think I deserved it and he put me here. Typical, with all the bad luck I have.

I'm so sick of everybody putting all this weight on my shoulders. It's driving me crazy and making me miserable. I don't even get to choose my own wife for God's sake! I mean, I'm marrying my cousin. How weird is that? I love Meiling and everything but she's family! Doesn't anyone but me think that's a little wrong? They say it's too keep up the family line of magic but Meiling doesn't even have magic, so what are they talking about?

Okay, I know I don't have a very optimistic look on life but I'm not much of an optimist anyway. I mean really, if you were living with and being raised by all women, your otou-san was dead, you had your cousin for a fiancée and had a whole bunch of other people riding their hopes and dreams on you, you wouldn't be very optimistic either. Well, this is basically what goes through my mind everyday. Not exactly happy thoughts but whatever.

As I stepped into the car, or should I say limo, my mother gave me one of her looks." It's about time Syaoran, what was taking you so long? We were supposed to be there an hour ago " she snapped.

I tried not to roll my eyes, knowing that would just make her madder but it was hard. I know I shouldn't disrespect my mother and all that, but sometimes she's just so annoying.

Today the three of us, Meiling, okaa-san and I, were flying out to somewhere in Japan to meet with the ambassador there. They were going to discuss peace treaties and whatever else a peace ambassador does. I don't really pay attention.

" Well I don't see why you had to bring me at all. I would've been perfectly happy staying home with the others ". The others, meaning my four older sisters. It's not surprising they didn't get stuck doing this. She always takes with her. It's like I'm a charity case or something; she always seems to feel sorry for me. Okaa-san shook her head.

" Syaoran, you don't get out enough. You don't have any friends and really refuse to socialize with people at all. You never used to be like this when... " She caught herself but I knew what she was going to say.

" When otou-san was alive, right? " I finished for her trying to ignore the intense pain building up inside my chest. Like I mentioned before, my otou-san is dead. He died back when I was young in a car crash. I guess you could say that's when my self-esteem went down the drain. When my father died, everyone had taken it pretty badly but I think I took it the worst.

My okaa-san always said she'd noticed a change in me ever since otou-san died; she said nothing could ever seem to make me happy anymore. And she was right. I had been closer to my otou-san then anyone else in my family but what'd you expect, everyone else in my family was female. When he died, I felt like a part of me had died with him. It had always been hard on my okaa-san knowing she could never do for me what my otou-san could. Maybe that's why she was always trying to get me to do stuff, she felt sorry for me and my pitiful existence. Some love that is.

Obviously sensing my pain, she reached over across the car and squeezed my hand." It'll be alright Syaoran. Someday " she said, then released my hand and turned to look out the window. I didn't say a word to her for the rest of the trip to the airport.

~ Meiling's POV ~

Sometimes I worry about Syaoran, and I mean a lot. He never seems to be happy. The whole worlds like a big disappointment. I don't think he's smiled once since his otou-san died, but that's pretty understandable. His otou-san had been a big part of his life. With him gone now, Syaoran didn't seem to have much of a life anymore.

It made me sad to know there was nothing I could do to help him get over it. But he wouldn't let me help; he wouldn't let anyone help. After his otou-san had died he'd withdrawn from everyone, including me. He'd take help from no one. That's the way he is.

I reached over and took Syaoran's hand. I knew he hated it when I got all concerned and mushy on him but I couldn't help it. He meant a lot to me and not just because he's my cousin or my fiancée.

" Syaoran-kun, daijoubu? " I asked softly. He looked over at me and I could see the pain written all over his face. God, I hated to see him like this.' Why won't you let me help you? '

He nodded slowly to me." Hai Meiling-san, I'm fine " he answered. Then turned back towards the window and said no more. I let go of his hand and sighed.

" Sure you are " I muttered to myself but I knew he'd heard me. I know I should make him talk to me more but what could I do? Syaoran was as stubborn as they come. If he didn't want to tell me then I'd never get it out of him.

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A half an hour later we finally arrived at the airport. I didn't know much about why we were going. Only that Syaoran's okaa-san, who was also the Chinese peace ambassador, was going to Japan to discuss business with the ambassador there. For some reason she'd wanted me and Syaoran to come as well.' A chance to enjoy the culture ' she told me.

Personally I didn't mind it one bit; I always loved going to new and exciting places but Syaoran acted like it was the end of the world or something. Sometimes I just can't figure him out.

Well anyway, no one was talking much since that little discussion in the car, so I decided to get a conversation going." So oba-san, exactly how long are we going to be staying in Japan for? " I asked. Syaoran briefly glanced over at his okaa-san but said nothing.

" Well, " she began looking worriedly over at Syaoran.' Uh oh '. I had a bad feeling about this.

" At first we were only going to stay for about two weeks. But the ambassador of Japan and I discussed it over the phone and we've decided that it would be best to stay there for two months instead " she answered finally.

Syaoran seemed to stiffen next to me. As I looked over at him, I gulped. He looked ready to explode or something.' This isn't going to be good ' I thought.

" Okaa-san, you can't be serious. You told me a few weeks and nothing more! You know I don't want to stay there that long " He exclaimed. His okaa-san looked exasperated.

" Hai, I know. It was at first, but we need more time. Besides, I thought you too wouldn't mind it. It should be quite an experience for you " she tried to reason with him.

Syaoran muttered something but I couldn't really hear it. " Um, I don't really mind that much oba-san " I offered. There was no point in making her feel too bad about it. She seemed stressed enough already. She looked over at me and gave me a weak smile.

" I'm glad Meiling, " she said. If looks could kill, I probably would've died right there on the spot. Syaoran gave me a look like he was ready to strangle me or something. I glared back at him, letting him know I wasn't intimidated.

" You're going to have to get over it Syaoran. I know it wasn't your idea to come but please, try to enjoy yourself " his okaa-san pleaded. Syaoran snorted.

" Fine, whatever you want. But just because your making me go doesn't mean I'll enjoy it ". With that, he stalked off towards the plane gates not bothering on waiting for us. ' That didn't go very well ' I thought. His okaa-san let out a frustrated sigh as he went.

" I just don't know what I'm going to do with him Meiling, I really don't " she said sadly." If only he weren't so unhappy all the time then it would be so much easier ".

I sympathized for my oba-san, I really did. Having to raise five children on your own, not to mention handling international peace was hard enough. But having a depressed son just added on to the stress she must be feeling.

" Don't worry about Syaoran-kun, oba-san. I'll make sure he has a good time " I promised.' Right, that would take a miracle. But at least it'll give her one less thing to worry about ' I thought to myself.

She gave another one of those smiles. It was half-happy and half-sad at the same time. But most of all she looked grateful.

" Arigatou Meiling. You're so good to him. Syaoran's really lucky to have you for a fiancée " she said. I gave a small smile back.' Yeah sure he is, if only he saw it that way '.

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Well, what did you think? I know it was pretty angsty on Syaoran's part but that's how he is for this story. If you liked it, I'll keep writing for it. If you didn't, I still will anyway. Sakura, Tomoyo and the others will be in the next chapter. Arigatou for reading.