Blue Darkness~ A Wondering Dream
I really don't know what it is that I'm looking for. All I can hear are the voices that tell me to go there. Search for something that doesn't exist. Every time I think about it, it's like a far off memory. All I can remember is running, but that's it. I have this feeling that if I keep going… I'll find it one day. It's like a dream only, I can't ever wake up. I've been running from as long as I can remember.
Even through the darkness, when there wasn't any light or moon to guide me. I just kept running because… I don't know. I feel like I have to. Sometimes I think, maybe it is just a fantasy. This place that I'm looking for doesn't really exist. Just a fairy-tale maybe, a far off memory that's like a dream, and a dream that's like a far off memory. I wonder… when did the pain begin?
That's all I've come to know, pain. It's there, and that's really the only thing driving me on. I want it to fade away like everything else I lost, or maybe never did have. Nothing really ever did make me happy or… sad. I've forgotten what they are. But I still wonder, why? Why me? Why do these voices tell me to search for it, when I don't know what IT is. Maybe it is a false hope.
When did the tears stop? When do I recall not being alone? And being the way I am, I think I'll stay that way. I can't even remember much about who I really am. I just want to go there, to that place, where flowers bloom, and I can finally end my journey. But maybe, maybe my journey won't end there when I reach it. Maybe then, then it's just beginning. Though my blindness shadows me from truths only the heart can see, I can feel it. I'll go there, with… with the one precious to me.
Sometimes, we lose track of the things we were searching for. We lose our sight but… with the one precious thing I have, I'll never lose track because, she…. She calls out to me. She never lets me lose sigh of what I am… and what I'm looking for. I know one day, I'll find it. I'll find it, and she'll be there with me. Maybe… but maybe… I …. I've already found it. Maybe… I'm already there…