Disclaimer: Me own Hannah Montana! Nahhhhhh
AU: Been awhile ladies and gents. Hope you enjoy! Oh and it's part of the loliver summer post-a-thon.
Am I your greatest disappointment?
Lilly climbed up the stairs to Miley's bedroom. She knocked on the door, even though Miley wasn't home. In fact none of the Stewarts were around. Miley, or should she say Hannah was on a county fair tour for a few weeks.
Lilly sighed at her force of habit. The habit she had adapted a year ago when she accidentally walked in on Miley and her date getting...acquainted. Lilly opened the door glancing around.
Lilly wasn't looking for anything relating to Miley. She wasn't sneaking in to her best friend's room trying to hunt down a diary or taking a couple of clothing items from her closet. If only it had been that simple as a diary or even a top. Lilly was actually on a search for Oliver; a search that had yet to be accomplished.
She had already searched all the regular places he would have gone to. Such as the hockey rink, the bowling alley, his house, Rico's, the beach, the old playground, her house, even the bar that he had been recently attending. It wasn't until she had noticed that the key to the Stewarts house was missing off her dresser, that she had even thought about him being at Miley's.
Lilly shook her head as she looked around the empty room. "Right Lil" she said out loud to herself, "It's so obvious that he's here!" She huffed and walked to the doors that lead out to the deck. She leaned against the railing; the search was ending, with an unsolved case. She closed her eyes, begging the world that where ever Oliver was he was at least safe. Lilly opened her eyes and sarcastically stated, "I hope he isn't in an alley way drunk falling over trashcans because he can't even see straight."
A deep laugh from behind her made her jump. She turned around fast ready to protect herself from whoever was about to attack her. Lilly was greeted by nothing; she slowly put her hands down. "Who's there?" she called out, "I know how to defend myself!"
The deep laugh started up again, but was then replaced by a voice. "Come on Lillian you know I could take you!" Oliver came into the light of the deck; he was on the little roof top that was adjacent to Miley's door. (Yanno…the once Jackson sat on in Wish upon a Star)
Lilly gave him a frustrated look, "Oliver freaking A! I've been looking everywhere for you!" She began walking towards him.
Oliver gave a smile before he planted himself on the rooftop again. "Have you now?! Really Lillian I did not know you cared so much!"
She now stood directly below him trying to figure out if any of the last words he had spoken were slurred. He was staring down at her, a grin plastered on his face. "Hey Lillian, you know it's not polite to stare."
Lilly shook her head in frustration at the boy above her. An outstretched hand came in contact with her head. "Ouch, Oliver!" she pulled his hand away.
But Oliver's hand quickly grabbed hers and she was lifted up to the roof. She landed on top of him and again repeated, "Ouch!" "Well golly Lillian at least buy me a drink first." Oliver wrapped an arm around her waist.
He was close enough for her to check. She lifted her head a tad letting her eyes connect with his. Lilly exhaled loudly and fidgeted away from him.
She put her hair behind her ears and closed her eyes. "I would buy you a drink Ollie, but I think you've already had too many." Oliver's hand grazed her leg and started making its way to her back. "Oh and Lillian how do you know I've been drinking?"
Lilly opened her eyes trying to put together her best straight face. "I know because I that's the fifth time you've called me Lillian, which is what you always call me when you're drunk. Oh and then there's the obvious fact your breath reeks of alcohol."
Oliver smirked, "You're like my own personal Nancy Drew." His hand came up to stroke her knee. She looked at him, trying to keep her stern face. Oliver's hand stopped, "Well I can't get anything past you." He reached behind him grabbing the beer bottle that was leaning against the wall.
"Ols" Lilly whispered, "How many?" Oliver brought the bottle to his lips taking a swig. "Enough" Oliver muttered. His hair fell into his eyes as he glanced at the bottle in his hand.
They sat in silence, a cold beach breeze made them shiver. Lilly was trying to figure out what to say. It wasn't like this situation was new; she had dealt with Oliver's drinking more than once.
The first time she had found him drunk, she was tender, cautious, afraid that he might die if she didn't help him. The second time she was understanding but frustrated. The third she was upset, she cried into his chest, and Oliver barely conscience whispered, "I'm fine." The fourth time she wiped down his face with her favorite yellow towel and rubbed his back as he vomited into her toilet. By the fifth time she yelled and hit him. "YOU'RE A DRUNK!" Oliver ended up falling asleep on her bedroom floor. The sixth time she had found him at a bar, passed out on top of the counter. The seventh and most recent was finding him in an alley way, falling against a brick wall. He had almost cracked his head open on the cement.
Lilly had tried being soft, she had tried being stern, she even promised him she would help. But as she watched him take another swig of beer, Lilly knew she had failed.
"So…" Lilly started, "Why'd you come here?" Oliver looked forward and shrugged his shoulders. "You stole the key from my room?" Lilly turned her head looking at him. Oliver nodded, reached into his pocket and gave her the house key. The key plopped into her hand with a soft thud. They continued staring into space letting silence build up between them.
"I came…" Oliver's raspy voice suddenly spoke, "I came here so I wouldn't disappoint you." He looked down at the bottle in his hands, it was almost empty. There was a large lump in his throat that was impossible to swallow. His stomach was burning with alcohol and he knew he'd be able to pass out in the next hour. He'd be able to forget that he had disappointed Lilly again, he'd be able to forget about the word addiction.
He watched Lilly sitting there her blonde hair blowing slightly into her face; her spaghetti strap was falling off her shoulder. His hand started to reach over to place the strap back in its proper place, but he couldn't keep his hand steady. He closed his hand into a fist trying to regain some control of his body.
Lilly looked back at Oliver, his eyes were closed, his hand was holding onto the bottle. She lifted herself up so she was shoulder to shoulder to him. Her hand gently grabbed that bottle out of his hand. His eyes shot open and he let his gaze focus on Lilly who was swirling the last bit of beer around in the bottle.
"Tell me Ollie. What's so special about this stuff?" Lilly brought the bottle up. "Lils, don't please…" Oliver slurred. Lilly looked at him and down at the bottle. "What makes this liquid so special? How is it that you find happiness through a bottle?" Lilly spat out bitterly. Oliver ran his hands threw his hair, "Lilly please…that…you…don't…"
Lilly closed her eyes and swigged the last of the beer down. Her throat burned and she had to cough to regain normal breathing. Oliver's arms circled Lilly trying to steady her as she had a coughing fit. Lilly brought a hand to her mouth and managed to cough out, "Not as bad as I thought it was."
Oliver didn't let go of Lilly. He stared at her as she tried to regain her stern posture after her not so serious coughing fit. Oliver leaned down putting his head at the crook of her neck, "Don't ever do that again." He let her smell drift into his nostrils it made him feel safe.
"If I can't drink, why should you?", Lilly asked. Oliver paused there were many reasons he didn't want her drinking. There was alcohol poisoning, coughing fits, embarrassing rides in cop cars, waking up not knowing where you are, hangovers, untrustworthy bar people, passing out, heart failure, liver failure, addiction…
"Because," Oliver started as he tightened his grip around her, "You'll end up like me."
Lilly wasn't expecting that kind of response from him. She had been expecting him to say, 'Because I can hold down my liquor.' Tears threatened to slip and her jaw gave a tremble. "Ols, I need you to stop. I'm begging you to stop."
Oliver clenched his jaw, as Lilly began on a ramble. "Oliver, I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't keep…I can't keep…" Lilly tried keeping her tears in but she soon realized it would be borderline impossible. She needed him to know how he wasn't just hurting himself, he was breaking her heart.
"Lilly please don't cry" Oliver tried kissing her head, "Please don't. Please." Lilly took a large gulp of air and untangled herself from him.
She bit into her lip and blinked away the tears so she could see him clearly. He was looking at her and as she stared back she realized she didn't recognize the man in front of her. "Who are you?" Lilly asked out loud as she stepped off the rooftop onto the flat ground of the deck.
Oliver gave her a look of confusion, "What do you mean?" "I mean…you aren't Oliver…this isn't you. The Oliver I know wouldn't … he wouldn't…." Lilly trailed off as she stumbled backwards in grief.
Oliver watched as she stumbled slightly and he immediately jumped down onto the deck to steady her. But as he hit the floor he realized how drunk he really was. His legs didn't support him and his right shoulder hit the edge of the rooftop. "Ah", he exclaimed at the sudden pain that raged through his arm.
Lilly came to his help and she touched his arm carefully. "Are you okay?" she asked. Oliver looked up, but he could only make out Lilly's form. He closed his eyes and prayed that he'd be able to sober up until he knew Lilly wasn't mad at him.
"Yeah," Oliver finally responded back as he reached out trying to find Lilly. But as he reached out she wasn't there. He opened his eyes and realized she was no longer standing in front of him. Oliver looked around and found Lilly leaning against the railing, tears slowly streaming down her face.
He slowly stood and shuffled his way to her. "Oliver, I can't do this anymore." Lilly spoke. "I can't keep this up. I can't keep on taking care of you…" her voice slowly got louder.
She turned, looking at his face and continued, "I need you to stop. If you don't stop…I don't think I'll be able to stand looking at you. And without me…you don't have anyone to take care of you! Without me you don't have anyone. Without me…everyone will see who you've become…" she gulped down a hiccup. "You've become an alcoholic."
Oliver looked away from her as she let the truth be known. Oliver sighed and mentally kicked himself. How could you let this happen, Oliver? He asked himself. How could it have turned out so bad? How could you disappoint the only thing that keeps you alive!
He swallowed and looked down at his shoes. "Lils?" Oliver managed to squeak out. Lilly shifted her attention to him. Oliver collected enough courage and looked at her. His Lilly, his best friend, his world.
"Am I your greatest disappointment?" he spoke clearly to her. Lilly's face lost the last bit of sparkle that kept him alive. Lilly licked her lips and replied, "Yes."
She glanced away from him as his head dropped in defeat. "Oliver, I can't do this anymore…" she stepped forward and touched his cheek. He lifted his head up and tried to keep his tears in.
Lilly's face scrunched up in grief, "Will you stop?" Oliver sniffled and nuzzled against her hand. But he knew he couldn't lie to her. He wouldn't be able to stop. He'd never be able to bring himself to admit that he had a problem. He'd never be able to confront his parents and ask for them to pay for rehab. He'd never be able to face Lilly. Not after he realized how every drop of liquor he drank, completely broke her apart.
Oliver concentrated on how soft her hand was. How cold the ring he had bought her for birthday was against his alcohol warm skin. He was making sure he'd be able to remember this moment. Because he knew the next words he spoke would be the last to her.
"No." Oliver stated clearly and he brought her hand down. She shook her head as a new wave of tears started down her face. He stepped back from her and started making his way to the door.
"Oliver…" Lilly's voice rang out. He glanced back at her. Her face was red, "I hate you."
Oliver let the words seep into him and he slowly turned his back to her.
He stumbled down the stairs and down the Stewart's driveway. The alcohol was slowly taking affect on him. Oliver somehow made it down to the beach, where he collapsed helplessly onto the sand. Tears poured out of his eyes and he wished that he was holding a bottle of beer. The beer would let him forget. The beer would help him with the pain of losing her. The beer would help him kill himself.
Oliver tried with all his might to get up. But he found that his body was paralyzed. He gave up quickly and stared out into the ocean. He softly started humming and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He clicked through his picture gallery searching for his favorite picture of Lilly. Oliver finally clicked to it and sighed. She looked amazing and he flipped to his side so he could stare at the picture better.
Oliver rubbed his head trying to get the words that she had said to stop echoing inside his scull. "How could you have messed up this much Oliver? How could you do this to her?" his voice of reason scolded him. "Shut up" he mumbled back to the voice. But he knew the voice was right. He has broken her heart. He had lost her. He had lost the only person in his life that he'd ever be able to love so dearly.
He had lost her to the bottle.
Oliver gripped the sand angrily. He lifted his head and grinded his teeth together. "No." he spoke, "No!"
Oliver reached forward and grabbed his cell phone. He dialed slowly and pushed talk.
"Hello" his mom's voice spoke through the receiver. "Mom…" he started, "Mom… I need help."
Lilly awoke that Monday not wanting to get out of bed. She hadn't spoken or heard from Oliver ever since that night. It had been hell, watching him walk away. She ended up staying at the Stewart's house that night because she wanted to cry alone.
As she slowly got dressed, she considered going past Oliver's house. Her regular routine was to go down to his house and walk with him to school. But she didn't know if he'd be there and she definitely didn't want him to pretend everything was okay.
But before she had even thought against it, she found herself backpack in hand making her way down to Oliver's house. Oliver's little brother Owen was playing basketball outside. "Hey Owen!" she tried her best at a happy tone. Owen looked up at her and gave her a nod.
Lilly shifted uncomfortably; Owen, who took after his brother, usually didn't shut up. "Owen…" Lilly stepped closer to him, "Is everything okay?" He looked at her and shook his head back and forward. "What's…what's wrong?" her voice became soft.
Owen dribbled the ball in front of him and spoke a single word. "Oliver."
Lilly dropped her backpack onto the cement driveway and she rushed into the Oken's house. "Oliver!!" she screamed as she entered into the house. She rushed upstairs to his room and knocked on the door. "OLIVER!!" she screamed again as she opened the door. The room that faced her had no one residing in it. "Oliver!!" she screamed again as she spun 180 degrees. She was waiting for him to steady her. For him to reach out and scream out 'Lilly' just to be a smart ass.
"Lilly?" a deep voice answered her. She glanced at the door where Oliver's father was standing. "Mr.Oken!" she rushed over to him and swung her arms around his neck.
Mr.Oken hugged her as she started crying. "Where is he? Is he okay!? I need to know!" she screamed "I need to know!"
Mr.Oken slowly brought Lilly down the stairs and sat her down in one of the kitchen table chairs. He sat down in the chair next to her. He rubbed her back as she tried to gain control. "Lilly," he said cautiously, "Lillian…Oliver is…" She lifted her head up and truthfully wondered if the next word would be dead.
"Oliver is getting help." Mr.Oken finished and took a breath. Lilly looked at the man who she considered her second father. His hair was graying and his glasses sat on the ridge of his nose. "Oliver called us and said…" Mr.Oken stumbled on the words, "He said he can't disappoint you anymore." Mr.Oken put a hand over his eyes. He looked up at Lilly and sadly said, "He's in rehab."
As the month mark passed Lilly patiently waited for any news about Oliver. But even the Okens knew very little on how he was doing.
Lilly would spend at least one day a week over at Oliver's house taking care of Owen and having dinner with Oliver's parents. It was her only way to stay connected to Oliver.
As Lilly walked slowly up her driveway she remembered to get the mail from the box. She slowly made her way to her mail box and grabbed all the mail. Lilly took slow strides into her house.
Lilly threw down her backpack and started shifting through the mail. Bills, bills, ads, a shopping catalog, bill and …
She stopped as she was faced with a blue envelope. Lillian Anne Truscott was written on the front…in Oliver's writing.
Lilly dropped the other mail on the floor and slowly slid down against the nearest wall. She trembled as she flipped over the envelope. Her finger slowly slid under the fold and she carefully opened the envelope.
A matching blue paper was folded and she gently tugged it out. Lilly flipped it open and in Oliver's writing it said,
Lillay .I promise I won't disappoint you. – Love Oliver
And as she touched his handwriting she saw at the very bottom a pink post it note with the following words, Oliver Oscar Oken, patient, sober for 31 days straight.
She held the note to her heart. "No Oliver", she spoke aloud, "No you aren't my greatest disappointment."
AU: Awww wasn't that something. Reviews would make me happy.