Only Each Other.
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'Closing the Gates of Hell.'
It was an attractive concept, Dean mused as he sat forward hands clasped, arms leaning on his legs, watching his brother sleeping fretfully on the couch, but he was finding it harder and harder to ignore the little voice of doubt that had been whispering to him for a while now; now that he could see the toll the trials were taking on his brother.
The demon tablet and the closing of Hell had seemed a great idea at the time, but now that they were only one trial from the conclusion, with a very sick little brother on his hands, all of Dean's certainties were crumbling to dust.
Had they really given enough thought to the whole affair and to the consequences it might bring, or had he and Sam just thrown themselves into the project without giving it due consideration.
He sighed.
Sam was in no fit state to do any profound rational thinking, so it was up to him to weigh the pros and cons of the situation, and somehow the cons were beginning to outweigh the pros.
Sam had explained how easy it had been to get into Purgatory and then on through the back door into Hell, so even if they did close the damn gates, there was always going to be ways of smuggling people in and out of the Infers anyway.
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He wondered what would happen if Sam didn't complete the third trial. Would his brother slowly get his strength back or would he remain as weak as he was now for the rest of his life?
The old saying. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't" came into his mind. He knew what Sam was like now but if his brother went through with the third trial, anything could happen to him, even death and Dean just wasn't ready to go there again!
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When Sam had decided to throw himself into the Cage with Lucifer, Dean had eventually gone along with it, respecting his brother's wishes even although every cell in his body was telling him to take his brother and run and let the world find another way of avoiding its end. Even now that he had Sam back he was still angry at himself for having allowed him to suffer all those months in the Cage .
This was gearing up to be an exact copy of that; he could lose Sam for a second time, and for what? To close gates that gave no certainty of keeping demons from roaming the Earth.
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Dean was an instinctive, an impulsive, and when he had the bit between his teeth he ran with it, like a thoroughbred race horse, but this time he wanted to stop before he passed the finishing line.
He watched worriedly as Sam coughed hoarsely and awoke in a feverish sweat, seeming to pant for air, as if he couldn't pull in enough even to clear his throat.
"Hey, Sammy. You okay?"
Sam turned glazed eyes on him
"Hey, yourself." he answered confused. "I'm okay... I'm okay, Dean."
"Yeah, you're real good. I can see that, Sam!" Dean said wearily.
He had gotten to the stage where seeing his little brother continually battered by supernatural baseball bats, was becoming unbearable.
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Suddenly, it all became so clear in his mind.
They had found themselves in this world of monsters because of John, Mary and Azazel but they had already taken their vengeance for the bad things done to their family. They had both been to Hell; he had started the Apocalypse and Sammy had ended it. Then they had dealt with the Leviathans that Castiel had so carelessly let out of Purgatory, and here they were again, laying their lives on the line once more. And for what?
He didn't know what would happen if Sam completed the third trial; maybe hell would be closed off, but really no one truly knew. Sure it was written on the demon tablet that it would be so but prophecies weren't always spot on.
However what happened with Hell was secondary in his mind as to what could happen to Sam. His brother could die; could be taken away from him again and Dean knew that this time, Sammy wouldn't be taking that journey into the after-life alone. No Sammy; no Dean! There was not going to be any compromise on that!
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But Dean was well aware that there could be things worse than death; what if Sam changed with the completion of the third trial? What if he morphed into another type of being? What if he no longer remembered him as a brother? Dean's heart clenched at the thought of Sammy forgetting about him.
He looked away from Sam who was studying him, waiting for him to speak and let his gaze wander around the room. He had been happy to find the bunker once the initial surprise had worn off, but it was only made of bricks and stones; it didn't have a heart and soul like his little brother.
He focused his gaze back on Sam.
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" I've been thinking, Sammy " he ventured. "Maybe we haven't thought things through too well. Does closing the gates of hell seem really such a good idea, man? It sounds great on paper, but is it the right thing to do? I mean who are we to upset the natural order?
Death gave me an earful about meddling with fate when I went to get your soul back and I'm beginning to think he was right. By doing this,Sam; we're interfering in something that isn't our affair.
We know God's left the house but he can't be all that far away. Castiel told us it was the Big Man himself who put us on that plane when Lucifer got out of the Cage. I think we should leave this sort of stuff up to him and we should get back to what we do best; the family business, saving people and hunting things, not taking the big decisions that aren't ours to make."
He saw Sam's mouth hang open at his words and he found it strange for it was usually his empathic little brother who considered all the ins and outs, but maybe the trials had not only damaged Sam's health but dulled his instincts and perceptions too.
"Sam?" he prompted.
"I dunno, Dean." Sam answered slowly. "There's a lot of truth in what you're saying. Maybe we did move in on the tablet too quickly."
Sam's expression reminded him of when he was a kid and that whatever came out of his big brother's mouth Sammy would hold onto as the truth. Maybe it was time for Dean to go back to being a big brother again; looking out for Sam and himself and sending everything and everyone else to the hell, they had been trying to close!
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"Why don't we just get up and go, Sam? Just leave it all at our backs. We've done enough. I'm done with seeing you suffer and sacrificing yourself. Let someone else make the big decisions.
There's a host of angels flitting around from Naomi to Metatron. Why don't we let them do the work instead of us having to lose something every time. If you don't complete the trials, you'll get your strength back and I won't have to see you walking around like death warmed over."
Dean looked his brother in the eye as he continued. "But you're the one doing these trials and the last word rests with you, and as much as I like the bunker and the Men of Letters thing, there's something that I love far more.
I'm ready to walk out that door without looking back. The Impala is our real home; she has been since you were six months old. You, she and the open road are all I really want, care about or need.
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Sam studied his brother while he digested his words. Dean was serious about this.
He didn't know what to say. The whole closing the gates of Hell thing had taken over their lives in these past months, blocking out everything else. They hadn't taken the chance to really meditate about the validity of what they were doing.
He had completed two trials, if he upped and went away, Hell would remain open, but maybe what Dean was saying was the truth. Who gave them the right to make such a world-changing decision?
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Sam looked up at his big brother. He was waiting patiently for an answer. Dean had always come through for him. Why should it be any different now? If Dean believed that what they were doing wasn't a hundred percent right, then he would go with it too.
He and Dean were a team, but more than anything they were brothers. They had looked out for each other all their lives.
It was a matter of trust, and he trusted Dean because there was no-one else walking the Earth that loved him like his big brother.
He began to pull himself up from the couch and felt Dean's hand coming over to grip his own, helping him up.
Without another word, they made their way to the bedrooms, packed their things into their old duffels and went out to the Impala.
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Yeah, the bunker was great but sitting side by side in the Impala, the open road stretching before them and everything remaining as it had always been, including an open-door policy for Hell, was much, much better,
"I'm gonna relax my rule just this once, Sasquatch," Dean smirked, a feeling of joy settling over him. "So go ahead. Shotgun picks the music, driver shuts his cake-hole"
Sam fiddled with the radio until a catchy pop song came on.
Dean felt his eyes mist up as Sam stretched one long arm along the top of the seat and unleashed his sunniest smile.
He put the car into drive and without a crumb of remorse drove her on to the unknown, his little brother by his side.
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