He had absolutely no idea where he was.
He struggled to open his eyes, the sun momentarily blinding him. He squinted against the light, his head buzzing with thoughts.
"Where the hell am I?" He whispered to himself, sitting up.
He blinked a few times, adjusting to the light.
Did Gus drug my pineapple smoothie? He was really mad that I put super glue on his office chair. Maybe he tried to get me back…
He shook his head, trying to clear the jumble of thoughts like he was an Etch-A-Sketch. But all that did was make it hurt even more.
"Ugh," He moaned, holding his head in his hands. He hadn't felt this bad since he had taken coffee cream shots with Gus.
I need to find out where I am. That way I can get home and kill Gus.
Or maybe it wasn't Gus that had done this. Had a psycho serial killer abducted him? He wasn't sure. He couldn't remember anything.
He tried to stand, his legs wobbling. He balanced himself against the tree that was next to him, his breathing ragged.
Wait… A tree? Did Smokey the Bear kidnap me?
That's when he saw that he was in a field. And not just any field. This one stretched on and on, as far as he could see. The grass was high, a fresh green color, with flowers of vivid shades of purple, blue, and yellow blooming in the sun.
He shook his head again. This didn't make any sense…
"Shawn?" A voice called from the distance, making him jump. He had gotten so used to the serene silence; he didn't know anyone else would be here.
Shawn would know that voice anywhere. It was that musical voice that he had grown to love over the years, the voice that was like the gentle strumming of a harp. This was the voice that scolded him, that laughed at his ridiculous jokes and whispered loving things in his ear. It was the voice of his angel.
"Juliet?" He called back, the shock evident in his voice. What in the world was Jules doing here? He hadn't seen her for five months. Five long, torturous months.
"What are you doing here?" She said, practically hysterical as she reached him. But he was too tongue-tied to respond.
It was definitely his Juliet; there was no mistaking it. Her blonde hair shined in the sun, the beams making it glitter like gold. Her eyes were still that same blue; the blue that conveyed her emotions, even if she was trying to hide them. Shawn had always loved her eyes. They flickered with life, danced with happiness. Those were the swirling masses of blue he loved, the blue he saw every time he closed his eyes. He thought he would never see her eyes again.
"I should be asking you that!" He exclaimed, the initial shock wearing off. It was impossible, her being there, standing right in front of him.
He desperately wanted to reach out, to touch her and hold her, to kiss her sweet lips again. But he was afraid that if he did, she would be taken away from him. Again.
He noticed that his body no longer ached, his head didn't feel like it was being kicked by someone with steel-toed boots anymore.
She pulled him into a hug, and he eagerly accepted. She didn't vanish into thin air under his touch, like he had feared.
He held her close, clung to her. Her warm body felt so right against his, as if they were made for each other. He breathed in her scent, smiling softly. She smelled of ripe strawberries, which had become his favorite scent. In the months that she had been gone, he would smell the shampoo she used, just to smell her again.
He hadn't held her body in months. The last time he had, she had been lying down in a coffin. He could still feel the smooth marble of it, burned into his memory. She had been buried in a white coffin; she had always told Shawn she had wanted a white one. White was innocent, pure. Like her. Black was hard, cold, unforgiving.
He remembered listening to Lassie give his eulogy, and how he was crying. That had scared Shawn, to see Lassie so weak. He remembered watching them lowering her body into the ground, where she would be covered in dirt, forever young. She would never got to get married, would never have the chance to have children, and watch her children have their own. She would never grow old with Shawn, never knit by the fireplace or take Sunday drives. She would never have another day to live.
"I've missed you so much." He whispered, placing his lips in her silky hair, his voice quivering.
He heard her sniffle, and immediately pulled away, confused.
"Jules, what's wrong?" Shawn asked, alarmed. Was this a dream? If it was, he never wanted to wake up, never wanted to face cold reality again.
He held her chin in his hand, her eyes meeting his. God, had he missed looking into those eyes. They melted his heart, made him weak in the knees.
"Shawn... but you're so young...how could this happen?" She murmured.
"Jules, what're you talking about? Where are we?" He questioned. But right now, he wasn't too concerned about where he was. As long as he was with Juliet, he was happy.
She bit her lip, fighting back tears.
"Shawn...you're dead." She whispered, her voice small.
He stared at her in shock, his mouth open.
"What?"
She nodded slowly. "That's why you're here with me. We're in heaven."
He let that sink in for a moment. No, it wasn't possible. There was no way he was dead.
And to Juliet's complete surprise, he laughed.
"Good one, guys!" He called out. "You got me good!"
"Shawn," Juliet whispered, taking his warm hand in hers. "It's not a joke."
He looked at her and smiled. "Sure it is. This isn't real. These past few months have just been one practical joke. You never really died, we're not really dead. You were in on it too, Jules? I didn't know you had it in you!" He laughed again, but Juliet noticed that it wasn't Shawn's laugh. His was light, care free. This laugh was strained, as if he was forcing it.
But the thing that hurt her the most was his eyes. That playful, mischievous glint was gone, replaced with nothing but dullness. She would've given anything in that moment to get that glint back in his eyes.
"Okay, you guys can come out now!" He yelled.
But nobody came out, and deep down, Shawn knew that they wouldn't.
Juliet stood there, rubbing soothing circles on the palm of his hand with her thumb. She didn't try to stop him; this was his way with dealing with death, his way of coming to terms with it.
"Gus, come on out, buddy!" He said, looking in the distance.
"Lassie? Chief? McNab?" And with each name, his voice cracked more and more, becoming smaller.
"Dad?" He finally whimpered, looking around. It broke Juliet's heart to see the man she loved this way, so vulnerable, so weak.
"No one's coming out, Shawn. It's just you and me." She said soothingly, squeezing his hand gently with hers.
"So...that's it?" He asked her, his voice broken, a dazed look on his face. "I'm really... dead? We don't get a re-do?"
She shook her head no, pulling him into another hug.
"No, Shawn. This is it." She managed to say before the tears streamed down.
"I thought I would have to wait years to see you again... You're so young. You weren't supposed to die." She choked out, her vision blurred with tears.
"So were you." He whispered, swaying her gently in his arms. "We weren't supposed to die, Jules. We were supposed to get married and have thirty-nine kids."
She laughed through her tears. "Thirty nine?"
"Yep. And we were gonna name them all Spartacus." He smiled, his own tears spilling out. He was desperate to make her laugh again.
"Even the girls?"
"Uh-huh." He said, and to his relief, she laughed again.
"I always imagined us growing old together." She whispered, her head against his chest. "Sitting on a porch swing, watching our grandchildren playing in the front yard."
"Forgetting each other's names." He added, sniffling. He wanted to stop crying, to be strong for her, but at that moment, he couldn't.
She gave a small laugh, her tears soaking his shirt.
And as he was standing there, holding her in his arms, the memories came flooding back, hitting him like a ton of bricks.
"They blew me up." He whispered as he stopped swaying.
"What?" Juliet asked, alarmed.
"They blew me up, Jules." He said again, a faraway look in his eyes. "It was a warehouse. I wasn't supposed to go in, but I did. Gus wanted to come, but I told him to stay back. As soon as I got in, I saw the bomb, and..." His voice trailed off.
"Gus and I were supposed to watch Back To The Future and eat pizza tonight." He whimpered, looking like a lost puppy.
"What's Gus gonna do without me? What am I gonna do without him?" Shawn questioned, his voice strained. "It wasn't supposed to end like this."
Juliet placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. "I know, Shawn. I know."
He looked at her with big eyes.
"Gus is strong." He said. "He'll make it...right?"
Juliet nodded, not knowing what to say.
His lips quivered as he continued. "At least we're together, Jules. And one day, Gus'll be here, and we can all play tag."
She gave him a soft smile. "Sure, Shawn."
He looked at her and smiled, a real smile, one that reached his eyes. His eyes flickered again as he smiled.
"Now you're stuck with me." He joked as he pulled her close.
"Oh, and one more thing." He whispered in her ear.
"What?" She asked.
"Tag!" He called as he tagged her and ran, sprinting away from her.
"Shawn! That wasn't fair!" Juliet called after him, laughing as she chased him.
And in the distance, the two ran through their endless field of gold.
A/N: Just a little one-shot I wrote while listening to Eric Clapton's "Tears In Heaven." It's a beautiful song if you haven't heard it. So, please review and tell me what you think!