This was going to be a one-shot, but I decided to see it out as a full story, just for the fun of it. Basically, it's "Total Drama World Tour," but this story diverts around the London challenge.
Noah became my favorite character and I was sad to see him go in London, but I realized that it was his time to go, for his character and the story's sake. Trust me, I'm not trying to write this to be like "this is how it SHOULD have happened!" I'm just writing this because I thought it would be a fun idea. Nothing against my Alejandro fans out there!
Without further ado, here is "Noah, the Schemer."
Noah sipped a paper cup of water in the mess hall of the plane. From where he sat he could hear Courtney reprimanding Duncan, her boyfriend - or was it ex-boyfriend? Who could remember at this point? - for quitting the competition. He sighed as he realized his fate was probably still sealed.
"Like an eel dipped in grease," Alejandro hissed at Noah, his eyes filled with pure contempt.
Noah giggled nervously, something he only did when he was truly afraid. "Um, well, where I'm from, that's a compliment! Tough neighborhood!" he lied terribly. Alejandro rolled his eyes, it was clear he didn't buy it.
"Voting will take place after I do a little freshening up," Chris interrupted Noah's thoughts as he walked through the common area. "I have to take a shower first, I smell . . . British! Ech!"
"The cameras are rolling," an intern reminded Chris from offscreen.
"Crap," Chris winced. "Editing team, do some damage control on that. Team Chris, you've got fifteen minutes until voting."
"That's just enough time for a potty break!" the only other person in the common area, Owen, exclaimed, running to the confessional.
On the other team, Gwen and Courtney giggled happily as though they were besties. Sierra hugged a flailing Cody with the happy realization that the team would not have to send anyone home. And, as Noah had previously noted, Heather gave Alejandro a smirk.
Must feel pretty great to be on Team Amazon right now, Noah thought. The team seemed unstoppable now - between Gwen, Courtney, Cody, and Sierra, it seemed like a tight-knit friendship team that could make it to the end. Heather was probably screwed next time her team was up for elimination, so why did she look so pleased with herself?
Knowing Heather, she's probably got something up her sleeve, Noah thought to himself, rolling his eyes.
As he looked up, he watched Alejandro take Duncan aside, happily telling him something as the two walked into the other room. Tyler continued to glare at Noah as he followed the two of them. There was no doubt about it, Noah's fate was sealed.
In his last few minutes in the competition, the bookworm decided to take a short walk up the flying death machine Chris somehow convinced everyone to call a plane. He decided to pass on heading into economy class, where he would not have been in good company. As he made his way to first class, Owen emerged from the confessional, gasping for breath.
Noah only had to take a quick whiff of the air near his large friend to understand why Owen was struggling for breath. "Too much even for you, huh, Owen?" Noah smirked.
Owen laughed. "Oh, haha, yeah! The British feast is on its way out!"
"TMI, dude . . . wait, when did you have time to eat a feast?"
"On the way to the double decker bus," Owen shrugged. He then looked back and forth, nervously. "Who are you going to vote for tonight, by the way?"
"Alejandro," Noah replied immediately, with a sad look in his eyes. "I don't think he bought my lie that calling him an 'eel' was a compliment."
"That was a lie?" Owen asked with genuine shock.
Noah couldn't help but chuckle at his gullible friend's stalwart trust in him. "Yeah, Owen. I said that out of panic."
"Oh, gotcha," Owen said. His mind appeared to be racing as his voice turned to a whisper. "Listen, Noah, I . . . I'm gonna vote for Al tonight too, okay? Just don't tell him I said that."
Noah's eyes widened slightly. Owen had been looking up to Alejandro - or, as he playfully referred to him, "Al" - since Egypt. This vote meant that Owen trusted his new friend Noah more than his new friend Alejandro (Owen and Noah hadn't really spoken much on the island during the first season), and it meant the world to Noah.
Obviously, though, he didn't show it. "Thanks a lot, big guy," he said in his typical lukewarm voice, giving Owen a small smile.
Owen smiled brightly. "No problem, little buddy!" He pulled Noah into a bear hug, before his stomach rumbled. "Oh no, the cavalry's arrived!"
With this, Owen ran back into the confessional, leaving Noah to resume his walk towards first class
Owen's vote is great, but it is pretty predictable, in retrospect. Besides, it's the only vote I can hope to get, seeing as Alejandro is getting Duncan and Tyler against me right now.
"Um, Noah?"
Noah was pulled from his thoughts by the confused faces of Team Amazon, and the confused voice of Gwen.
"What are you doing here?" Courtney glared, finishing her new bestie's thoughts. "Winners only! Go back to loser class!"
"Maybe we should take pity on him," Heather grinned. "This is the last time he'll ever see first class after he's eliminated tonight."
"Knock it off, Heather," Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Thanks for the defense, Gwen, but I'm just passing through," Noah said quickly, staring his traditional deadpan at Heather. "Hopefully this will not be a problem to the doting Mrs. Alejandro."
This set Team Amazon into a fit of chuckles, with the exception of Heather, who scoffed. "One of us is sleeping in luxury tonight and the other is jumping out of a plane, so say whatever you want."
Noah was out of first class by this point, but Heather's comment had hit its mark. I wish it didn't have to be this way.
As he approached the door to Chris' decked out man cave, he quieted down to hear the host performing an interesting rendition of a popular Celine Dion song to what he must have thought was no audience.
I really don't want that to be the last thing I hear on this show, Noah thought, stopping short of entering the host's quarters. A nearby door caught his eye as he hesitated, a door with the word "FILING" written in sharpie above the doorway.
How professional, Noah quipped to himself. But investigating a mysterious door beat talking to the slippery Alejandro, sitting outside of the confessional wallowing in self-pity and Owen's fumes, or becoming the audience to Chris' short-lived concert.
He opened the door, which proved to be unlocked, and flicked a light switch. In front of him sat a table, a few filing cabinets, and a framed picture of Chris on the wall. This fairly simply layout was made much messier by the stacks and stacks of files and papers all over the table and filing cabinets.
These must be the papers they take out for the hundreds and hundreds of lawsuits, he chuckled to himself. Glancing at some of the papers and their complicated legal jargon proved him mostly right on this, but there were other papers scattered throughout, including promotional images, posters, and website prints for all three seasons of "Total Drama."
Might as well do a little light reading before my elimination, served me well first season, Noah thought, checking some of these papers out. The website prints informed viewers of the contestants' personalities - Noah grimaced at his description as an "adorkably sarcastic bookworm" - and it became clear that these had been written by a very familiar blogger - Cody's description was filled to the brim with words like "cute," "underrated," "mysterious," and flat-out "hunky."
Putting these aside, Noah came upon the original poster for the first season. Noah recalled seeing it in marketing all over the place after his time on that awful island. Still, he couldn't help but sigh at this simpler time.
The poster even included the original "labels" that the producers had gifted the contestants. Noah smirked at Tyler's label "the Jock that Sucks at Sports," nodded wide-eyed at Izzy's label "The Psycho Hose Beast," and rolled his eyes with a smile at Owen's label "The Crazy Party Guy."
His eyes eventually came upon the smiling picture of himself, with two words above it.
"The Schemer."
A schemer? Is that what they really thought of him? Sure, during his short time on the island, he had been thinking a whole lot of nasty comments behind his fellow competitors' backs, but he never actually planned anything against any of them. He hadn't thought he'd have it in him.
Perhaps Noah, as a bitingly sarcastic teenager who didn't talk to anyone with the exception of rude and sarcastic comments and whose head always seemed to be in a book, had put on the appearance of some scheming brainiac who was plotting to take down the competition one by one.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. Noah was simply lazy, always had been. That's why he joined the show in the first place; sure, a smart guy like him could work his way towards a million dollars with a real job, but that was so much more work than hanging out in some game show for a few weeks and outlasting everyone else. Noah never liked to reveal his feelings or flaws, but privately he realized his lack of work ethic was a deep problem.
The Schemer. The words couldn't leave Noah's head. Heather was a schemer. Justin was a schemer, or at least he tried to be when his efforts to trick Beth and Lindsay weren't constantly failing. Alejandro, major schemer. But Noah? He couldn't see it.
Although . . .
Noah wasn't a natural schemer, but perhaps he could take a note from the producers and act the part, just this once, to save himself from elimination. Scheme just once, screw over someone else just this once, and live to fight another day.
It's how Heather made it so far in season one, wasn't it? And it's how Alejandro played the competition, decimating Team Victory. Noah had watched that happen, Harold followed by Bridgette, Leshawna, and DJ, almost a whole team ruined by Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Noah could try this trick against Alejandro. And the best part is, judging from his little smirk with Heather earlier, he wouldn't even see it coming.
Noah racked his big head for a plan, and fortunately one came to him. He practically sprinted out of the office, towards first class.
Chris stuck a shy head out of his doorway, wearing nothing but a shower cap and a towel around his waist. "Could have sworn I heard someone . . . phew."
Noah attempted to hide his look of determination as he passed through victory class. Fortunately for him, his look of determination looked a lot like his usual bored demeanor, but with a small smile where his small frown usually was.
"Someone's looking chipper," Heather quipped. "Form an alliance with Chris in a last ditch effort to save your skin?"
"Didn't need to, I'm confident in myself," Noah smirked. "But while we're talking about skin, I just love the bumpy, gravelly texture you're going for."
This set off another bout of chuckles from the rest of Team Amazon as Noah strode out of victory class, a man on a mission. Heather glared at him as he left, rubbing her face self-consciously.
==CONFESSIONAL==
"That little twerp is up to something," Heather grumbled. "Dare I say he's actually playing the game? Only took him three seasons. Welcome to the show, Noah."
She paused a moment, before rubbing her face again. "I've been using ointment, it can't be that gravelly!" she hissed, with a pinch of worry in her voice.
Noah peered through the doorway to see Alejandro locked in a discussion with Duncan. Tyler sat behind him, staring boredly out the window.
"When do you guys think the elimination is gonna start?" Tyler asked.
"Probably after Chris is done with his little shower," Duncan replied quickly.
Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "How do you know Chris is taking a shower?" he asked the delinquent, genuinely curious.
"Because while he was getting ready, I emptied out the conditioner from a bottle and replaced it with mayonnaise. Revenge for bringing me back to this stupid show," Duncan revealed. Alejandro and Tyler laughed at the thought of their torturous host bathing in mayonnaise.
"Be right back, guys," Tyler stood up, "gonna go to the confessional for a sec."
"Sure thing, Tyler," Duncan waved him off, clearly not caring in the slightest.
==CONFESSIONAL==
"I can't believe my team actually has to vote someone off," Tyler sighed, before turning serious. "Luckily, I already know I'm voting off Noah. He left me behind at the rack without a second thought, and sure, he remembered later, but, man, I live by the key philosophy of 'never leave a man behind,' and that little string bean disobeyed."
Tyler stepped out of the confessional and was met face-to-face with Noah.
"Hey, Tyler," Noah tried his best at a comforting smile.
Whatever he achieved, it gave Tyler a look of fear. "Uh, hey, Noah. What's up?"
Noah swallowed his pride as he pulled Tyler into the confessional, closed the door, and spoon-fed him an extremely passionate lie. "I actually don't have a lot of time, since he might hear us, but I have been waiting for a super long time to give you this information. The truth is, in the France challenge, I saw Alejandro purposefully hide one of Team Victory's statue pieces."
"That's bad sportsmanship," Tyler frowned. "Why?"
"Well, I think I know why, but you won't like it," Noah cringed, careful to keep his voice down. "You see, he wanted Team Victory to be a team of one, so that he could invite DJ to join our team, the Guys Team."
"We are the Guys Team," Tyler nodded. "Well, I guess with the exception of Izzy, but she's gone now."
Noah had prepared to deal with Tyler's moderate stupidity, and politely interrupted. "What I'm saying is, Alejandro made Team Victory lose so that DJ could be on a team by himself," Noah said, completely aware of the fact that this had never happened and would have made no sense, since DJ wanted to vote himself off.
"Yeah?" Tyler asked, still not understanding where Noah was going with this.
Noah had to go in for the kill with the simplest possible terms.
"Alejandro caused Lindsay's elimination."
Tyler processed this information, his face contorting with shock and rage. "He WHAT?!"
In economy class, Alejandro struggled to make small talk with Duncan, who was busy carving a skull into the wall.
Finally, the true schemer realized that Tyler being gone was not ideal, as he needed his vote. "I wonder where the rest of our team is hiding. I'd better go search for them."
"You do that," Duncan said, standing up as well. "I've got someone in first class I've been meaning to see."
The two Team Chris members walked out of economy class, Duncan passing the confessional and walking into the first class, and Alejandro pausing, looking around.
Owen walked by, waving at the master manipulator with a strange sort of hesitation. "Oh, hi, Al. Heh, what're you up to?"
"Looking for you, Owen," Alejandro smiled. "Where have you been?"
"Well, first I was making a deposit," Owen chuckled awkwardly as he gestured towards the confessional, "and then I went and enjoyed some gruel in the cafeteria. Chef makes a mean gruel, let me tell ya."
Alejandro swallowed some bile in the back of his throat; he had a rather weak stomach and had always found both Chef's cooking and Owen rather disgusting. "That's great. Can I have a moment of your time to talk strategy? I just spoke with Duncan, and he agrees that -"
"No offense, Al, but can it wait?" Owen's stomach grumbled ominously. "I think that gruel is just about finished with me."
"He WHAT?!"
Tyler's voice rang out from the confessional, to the confusion of both Owen and Alejandro. The latter opened the door to find Tyler, red in the face, and Noah, desperately holding the jock's mouth shut.
==CONFESSIONAL==
"This is not going to do anything for the theories that I'm gay," Noah sighed.
Before any of the four boys could say anything, Chris walked into the room, an impatient Duncan in tow.
"Who's ready for elimination?" Chris smiled.
"Ooo, what smells like mayonnaise?" Owen sniffed happily.
The five members of the unfortunately named Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot sat at a set of bleachers, Alejandro, Tyler, and Duncan on the top row, and Owen and Noah on the bottom. Owen looked nervous, Alejandro looked confident, Duncan looked bored, Tyler looked angry, and Noah looked completely neutral, holding a poker face as he watched Chris.
"These are certainly some interesting votes," Chris finally said as he looked at five stamped passports. "Wow. Absolutely crazy. Ho boy."
"Can we just get on with this stupid thing?" Duncan retorted.
"Fine," Chris sighed. "Owen, for saving the day and pretty much winning the challenge, before I decided you guys actually lost, you received no votes."
"Thanks for that, by the way," Noah deadpanned.
"You're welcome!" Chris grinned, ignoring the sarcasm. "Duncan, you're brand new, so you're also at zilch. And Tyler, you did the first two challenges for your team, so you're also good with no votes against you."
Three soggy bags of airline peanuts were thrown at Owen, Duncan, and Tyler. Owen ate his quickly, while Duncan looked at his with disgust and Tyler continued to stare straight ahead, with rage.
"We're down to Alejandro and Noah," Chris smirked, knowing full well who it was but refusing to let anyone else know yet. "Alejandro, you were completely useless to your team today. Noah, I think maybe you said some stuff you shouldn't have."
"Let us just get on with the votes," Alejandro chuckled, turning to Tyler confidently only to have Tyler fiercely glare back. Alejandro had not been expecting this reaction, and turned back to Chris with a much less sure expression on his face.
"And, with three votes against him, tonight's victim will be . . ."
Chris held up a parachute pack, looking from a worried Alejandro to a steadily more confident Noah.
". . . Alejandro!"
"¿Qué?" Alejandro stood up in shock. "A-Are you sure? Were the votes rigged?"
"Usually I don't care if the votes were rigged or not," Chris shrugged. "But I can confirm that there is no footage of any rigging, so I'm pretty sure you were voted off by your own terribleness."
Alejandro looked at his teammates. Owen looked slightly sad to see him go, as he waved goodbye. Duncan looked as though he could not have cared less whether Alejandro or Noah had gone home. Peculiarly, Tyler had a huge grin on his face, while Noah sat, arms crossed, with his own grin.
"You," Alejandro said, marching towards the bookworm. "How could . . . how did you . . . how could I . . ."
"I guess I felt like being a schemer today," Noah shrugged.
"You?!" Alejandro laughed maniacally. "You are not a schemer. I am a schemer!"
"I wouldn't call you a 'schemer,'" Noah replied. "I'd call you an 'eel.'"
Without warning, Tyler stood up, shoving Alejandro out of the plane. "THAT WAS FOR LINDSAY!" he shouted.
Alejandro screamed as he plummeted down to the unforgiving earth. Meanwhile, Chris eyed a nearby parachute pack. "Now, was that the parachute pack I gave him? Or is this an extra lying around for the next elimination? Hmmmmmmmm . . . I don't remember, and I don't really care!"
With this, the host left the room. Tyler stopped seeing red and departed to economy class. Duncan playfully slapped Owen and Noah on the backs. "Fellas, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship," he cackled as he, too, headed out of the elimination room.
This left Owen and Noah in the room.
"Well, Al's gone, little buddy! And as much as I'm going to miss him, at least we get to stay to fight another day!" Owen said, smiling.
"Owen," Noah said, in a grave tone.
"Yeah?"
"What I'm about to do right now - you tell no one. Ever. Okay?"
"Uh, o-okay," Owen said, wincing in anticipation.
Unexpectedly, Noah attempted to wrap his skinny arms around Owen as he went in for a hug. Owen, much more knowledgeable of hugs than Noah, reciprocated the hug almost immediately.
==CONFESSIONAL==
"I don't know how I did that," Noah said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I figured I was a goner for sure, but I just knocked the biggest threat out of the competition and lived to tell the tale!"
He sighed. "Lying and manipulating doesn't feel great, of course, but to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if Alejandro actually did have some motive to get rid of Lindsay. I'm not sure, but all I know is that he's gone and I couldn't be happier."
Noah stepped out of the confessional as Gwen prepared to step in. "Noah?"
"Gwen."
"You're still -"
"Yes, I'm still here," Noah rolled his eyes. "Alejandro got the boot."
Gwen gasped. "No way, seriously? Good riddance, if you ask me. I never trusted that guy."
"Preacher, meet the choir," Noah smirked as he walked down the hall to economy class, and as Gwen shut the door behind her.
As he entered economy class, he looked upon Owen, Tyler, and Duncan. It seemed as though Tyler's anger had left the plane with Alejandro, and now he simply sat with a sad look on his face.
"I miss Lindsay," the jock sighed. "She didn't have to go."
"I know how you feel, it's okay," Owen patted Tyler on the back. "I miss my Izzy too. Why'd I ever let you go, Izzy?"
Noah felt a pang of guilt watching Tyler's misery, but as he entered the room, Duncan stood up.
"I heard Gwen's voice out there, is she with you?" he asked Noah, with what almost seemed like suspicion in his voice.
"She's in the confessional," Noah said.
"Gotcha," Duncan walked out of the room. "Like I said, I've got some catching up to do."
"Uh, okay," the bookworm raised an eyebrow at the delinquent but didn't question his behavior. He sat down across from Owen and Tyler, struggling to find words of compassion to the sad jock.
A few awkward seconds went by before Tyler stood up. "I'm gonna go get some water or something."
"Have fun with that, buddy," Noah said, attempting genuine kindness. Tyler and Owen looked at Noah as though he had three heads.
Why do I even try sometimes? Noah rolled his eyes.
==CONFESSIONAL==
As Gwen and Duncan "caught up," Tyler peeked his head in, having overheard the strange noises that sounded suspiciously similar to locking lips. His suspicions were validated, and he stared at the couple with shock, before slinking back out.
In the cockpit, Chris watched the scene unfold via a monitor. "Whoa! Now that is how you get some drama started! Wait until Courtney hears about this one! Will Tyler tell all? And who's gonna fall? Find out next time on Total! Drama! World Tour!"