A/N: My sister (AsuraSantosha) challenged me to write something silly, preferably with Usagi more on the ditzy side. I tossed in a ridiculous trope, but you'll have to tell me how "silly" my first attempt truly is…

It's not betaed because even though I now have a bunch of SM friends that would be totally willing to oblige, I'm way too excited to actually post something for the first time in forever to wait for that! So, please forgive typos and grammatical errors!

A Craving for Chocolate Milkshakes

The blaring alarm sliced through his dreams like a punch to the gut, and the high school senior groaned. Mornings and Chiba Mamoru usually had a fantastic and healthy relationship, but today it felt like he had knives piercing through his skull.

He fumbled to turn off the blasted alarm clock, but succeeded in only pushing the irritating contraption over the edge of his nightstand. Unfortunately, the impact was not hard enough to end its life, as it kept screaming his wake-up call.

Kami-sama, he hated mornings!

Well, this morning anyway. He swung his legs over the edge, his sore and overused muscles protesting any request made of them. What he wouldn't give for a full week with his sleep uninterrupted by youma. And clearly, he and Sailor Moon had both suffered some kind of mental shock grenade that had his head pulsing worse than any hangover.

He spared a thought for his blond partner in crime, hoping she was faring better than him this awful morning. He retrieved and turned off the alarm clock before stumbling to the bathroom to pop a few aspirin into his mouth. With some coffee, he might even feel semi-human once again.

Though what he really wanted was some American style pancakes! With enough syrup to drown in, it was like cake for breakfast. Best tradition ever! Perhaps he had been born in the wrong country.

Right, because an orphan anywhere would have been lavished with luxurious rich breakfasts every morning. He didn't even like cake that much. A good bowl of multi-grain rice or natto was plenty sustenance in the morning.

He really needed some coffee. He grabbed his bag, and reached his hand out to pet the silky black cat sitting primly in the doorway before he made the commute to school.

His hand froze in midair, and he blinked in confusion.

He didn't have a cat.

He blinked again and the mirage evaporated like smoke.

He groaned, with a palm to his face. If he was hallucinating, he probably needed an MRI. He glanced at his watch and cursed – he was running late. He'd worry about getting his head scanned after he had his coffee and made it through his first class.

He wove through the pedestrian traffic into the familiar haven of the Crown Arcade on autopilot. He slumped onto his usual stool, cradling his pounding head in his hands waiting to be noticed by whoever was working today, trying to block out the cacophony of overlapping synthetic music from the arcade consoles.

"Mamoru-kun!" familiar bright voice greeted a few moments later, far too chipper so early in the morning. He looked up and fell into the open emerald gaze of his closest friend, golden locks framing his friendly smile. Motoki looked good today. Like Mamoru could eat him for breakfast good.

He banged his head on the bar's counter. He did not just think that.

Calm down Mamoru – recognizing another's physical attractiveness does not make you gay.

Not that being gay would be a bad thing.

A certain blond heroine flooded his mind's eye, and he concluded quickly that he was definitely not gay.

Perhaps bisexual then?

He shrugged off the thought. He could deal with the sexual identity crisis later – when his head wasn't threatening to explode, or perhaps after he had his head examined.

"Long night?" Motoki asked, placing the usual hazelnut blend on the counter in front of him.

"You have no idea," Mamoru groaned. He forced himself up and took a grateful sip at the steaming beverage. He smiled in satisfaction as the comforting bitter flavor surged onto his tongue.

If only he didn't have school. It was a boring waste of time anyway. He could stay here all day drinking coffee and ogling Motoki.

He gulped the rest of the beverage, barely noticing the scalding down the vulnerable tissue of his soft palette and throat, and bolted from the arcade.

Seriously, even if he was gay, Motoki was his best friend. He could not go there!

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't see the blond whirlwind until she had barreled into him. Not that he ever saw her coming. She was just seemed to manifest into his path every morning like clockwork.

He blinked dumbly at her long creamy legs that spilled from her dark blue skirt across the unforgiving concrete, his pounding headache suddenly, completely forgotten.

Yup, definitely not gay. Bisexual? Possibly.

Kami-sama, was he staring at her legs?

Her cheeks blazed red and she let out an undignified squeak. "My face is up here baka!"

This time the heat blazed across his own face. He was horrified to be caught staring. Just be polite for once baka, please, his own brain begged. It's not like she's klutzy on purpose.

"Right… Well, pleasure as always to crash into you Odango. I have to run. Hope you make it to school on time." He gave her a friendly wave, his head feeling clear and lucid for the first time all morning.

She blinked at him. "That's it?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "No parting advice to watch where I'm going?"

"When has that ever helped?" he bantered back, hoping his grin softened his biting tone.

She harrumphed. "You're being weird baka… It's kind've nice. I guess I'll see you later," she said with a small smile.

And she dashed away like a tsunami chased her, leaving him staring after her in shock. Was that all it took to earn her smiles?

Once in class, Mamoru tried to focus on taking notes. But detailed explanations of integrating by parts could not hold his attention this day. He was distracted by the weather, of all things, because it was a gorgeous day - the sun beamed through the windows on either side of the lecture hall revealing a crystal clear blue sky without a single cloud marring its beauty. It was the kind of day that called for a slow meandering walk through the park perhaps with some ice cream or a chocolate milkshake.

Kami-sama, a chocolate milkshake sounded wonderful. It would fix everything!

He shook his head, trying to clear it. These random food cravings were driving him insane. And it wasn't normal. He really needed to get his head scanned.

But that sounded like a lot of hassle, whereas, a craving for a chocolate milkshake was pretty simple to address. For the second time that day, Mamoru found himself in his favorite stool at the Crown Arcade, pouring over his nonsensical Calculus notes that seemed to be constantly interrupted by doodles of kittens and moons, and one random interjection of a simple algebra problem.

Before he could question his sanity for the millionth time that day, Usagi slammed into the stool beside him with all the subtlety of a charging rhinoceros.

"This has been the worst day!" she whined into his ear. "First, I was late!"

"Aren't you late everyday?" Mamoru interjected, trying to clear his head that seemed to suddenly spiral . The pounding headache he had woken up with flooded back to his temples making him groan into his hands. He frowned when she whimpered a second later, her head falling into her own hands.

I wonder if this is what a hangover feels like.

I assure you, it's worse than a hangover.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"No," she said softly. "I have had this splitting headache all day. I know I'm always late, but today I was far later than usual, and got double detention. And now Rei is going to be steamed with me for being late to meet them."

Not to mention Luna would lecture her endlessly on living up to her responsibilities. She probably could have skipped the arcade, but Tsukino Usagi go without her daily milkshake and Mamoru bashing? Not a chance!

"You could have skipped the arcade," he suggested out loud.

Wait… Luna? Wasn't Luna a cat?

If only…

She turned to him with a bright smile. "And miss seeing your scowling face? Not a chance!" she exclaimed. "Motoki-oniisan!" she called, "I need a chocolate milkshake. It will fix everything!"

Hadn't he just been thinking that? Why had he been thinking that? Really it was an absurd premise.

"Coming right up Usagi-chan!" the blond part-timer acknowledged with a friendly wave.

"I think it will take more than a bit of ice cream and chocolate to fix what's wrong with your head," Mamoru commented dryly. Not to mention his own. He clearly needed an MRI.

"Mamoru-baka, what's an MRI?"

"It's stands for Magnetic Resonance Imaging," he explained automatically. "It an imaging technique…" he trailed off, searching for the terms she might understand.

"That's the one where they put you in a really strong spinning magnetic field and see which parts of your tissue or cells rotate or tilt in response?"

He blinked at her with surprise. "Uh… yeah. Exactly. How did you know that?"

"I know things!" she cried indignantly. Her milkshake arrived in front of her, next to his usual cup of coffee. Suddenly though, he wished he had thought to order a milkshake instead.

"Two seconds ago, you didn't know what it stood for. Seriously, how'd you know?"

Her blond eyebrows furrowed together.

"I don't know? I just thought it! Like it popped into my head! Am I right?"

He nodded. "Completely right." He dismissed his suspicion. She probably picked it up from some documentary or something.

"I probably just picked it up from some documentary or something," she said casually before taking a sip from her milkshake.

The blood drained from his face. "Oh god, Odango! Are you in my head?"

Baffled eyes considered him in total confusion. "What are you talking about baka?"

He ran a hand through his raven locks, trying to calm himself. Kami-sama, he was being so weird today! And those blue eyes – so piercing, so intense. He couldn't look away.

What would it be like to be stuck in Chiba Mamoru's head?

An image of him standing shirtless in front of a full-length mirror flashed through his mind.

He blushed at the thought – it was her thought he realized, though he had no trouble correcting the details for her. Since when had Usagi found him attractive?

I'm not blind!

He leapt to his feet. "How did this happen?" he hissed.

"How did what happen?" she echoed, her eyes wide with sudden concern.

"We seem to be linked? Or is it only one way?"

She eyed him for a moment, biting her lower lip as she considered. "Are you the reason I've been thinking about math and coffee all morning?!"

He groaned, slumping back into his seat and letting his head fall into his hands.

"You really know how to ruin a perfectly good day baka! There are so many other, better, things to think about!"

"We need to figure this out Odango," he interrupted. "Think back to your last few days. Anything that seemed strange or abnormal?"

Usagi snorted at him. His headache intensified as her past few days flashed through his mind. He was at school, hanging out with the girls at the shrine, then having dinner at home, and then there was the youma battle last night…

"Well, I'm pretty convinced my brother tried to poison me last night. I mean, he's not my biggest fan, but it was a bit extreme even for him," she rambled. "Luckily, I noticed and just pretended to drink the tea."

He blinked at her stupidly, then grabbed her arm, and dragged her from the arcade to the relative privacy of the adjacent alleyway.

"Oy! Baka! Let me go! That hurts!" she screeched battering his arm ineffectively with an open hand. When he didn't let go, she ripped away from his grasp with a strength that didn't match her stature.

"Kami-sama! You are so ridiculous!" Frustrated hands tore through his hair.

Her blue eyes peered at him, watering with barely suppressed hurt. But he could feel it, so it didn't matter if she kept herself from crying or not.

He immediately felt contrite for his tone – regretted hurting her. He loved that she was ridiculous.

She gasped. "You like me because I'm ridiculous?"

"I never said that!" he objected automatically.

"You're in my head baka," she snorted at him. "Wait... You like me at all? I thought you hated me."

Feeling cornered and desperate to avoid that line of thinking, he started mentally reciting prime numbers.

"Why are you thinking about numbers? Mamoru-baka, stop it! I hate math!"

"That's not the issue right now! You encountered a youma last night, and you're telling me about how your brother might have poisoned you?"

"Well, you asked if anything weird had happened. Encountering a youma is not weird…" then she gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. "I didn't say that! You didn't hear it! Stay out of my head!" She started marching out of the alleyway.

The girls are going to kill me!

"Why are the girls going to kill you? Who are the girls?"

"Stop it!" she screamed, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and it didn't occur to Usagi to think of prime numbers.

He saw it all. The flashes of a talking cat teaching her to transform, the guardian facing demons again and again when all she wanted was to flee in terror, her clutching to the white lapels of Tuxedo Kamen as he whisked her out of danger at the last possible second.

She clamped her arms over her ears and started crying.

"I'm sorry," he whispered from behind, wanting to offer comfort, but having no idea how to do so. "I didn't mean to invade your privacy."

"That's exactly what you meant to do!" she countered, her blue eyes flashing angrily.

"But I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know how important your secret was."

"It shouldn't matter!" she shouted. "Even if I was just some ordinary girl, you have no right to pry into my head."

He froze for a long second, his lips parted as if expecting to speak, but no words came. Even as she sank to the ground, clutching her knees as she sobbed.

He sat carefully beside her.

"I-I'm sorry," he finally managed. "You're absolutely correct. I had no right."

He felt surprise burst through him, as her eyes - sparkling with tears - shot to his own. He knew the feeling was hers and not his own, and he tried not to be offended that his apology seemed out of character to her. He frowned, thinking further. Was it out of character? Was this more how she would respond being in this situation, or did he genuinely feel bad for breaking into her privacy?

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by the dramatic image of a brick wall.

"I don't think you can block me out Odango," he whispered gently.

"Usako?" she repeated, whirling back to him. Her cheeks wet with tears.

"I didn't say Usako! I said Odango."

"You thought Usako!"

He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Yeah, I guess I did. I'm not sure it's fair of either of us to hold each other accountable for our thoughts at the moment."

"Mamoru-baka," she sobbed. "I don't like this. How do we fix it?"

"I don't know how to turn it off. I don't know how this happened Usako. It must have been at the battle. We must have been hit by something."

"We?" she repeated, looking at him dumbly.

And he smiled. "You were so busy panicking about your thoughts spilling over to me, you might have missed my reaction to it. Perhaps you should ask me what I remember from the last few days?"

"What do you remember from the last few days?" she asked timidly.

And he willingly let the whole past two days – from waking up alone in his empty apartment, to crashing into her including his attraction to her, to sitting through a few lectures, to whisking her away from death's clutches – wash over him.

She gasped, her eyes going wide with revelation.

And then she was crying again – harder than before, her whole body quaking.

He tried to suppress his horror and hurt at her reaction. Of course, she was disappointed. She crushed on Tuxedo Kamen hard, and to find that he was the boy who tortured her relentlessly. It would be upsetting to anyone.

But suddenly, she was in his arms. She was still crying, but he felt her wave of emotion finally overpowering his own. He smiled, realizing she felt only gratitude for all the times he had been there when no one else had, that she finally knew who he was so she could tell him what that meant to her. Her tears weren't of horror and upset, but rather of relief and release. He just clutched her to him as her tears gradually slowed and eventually dried up.

This was good, she thought. He would definitely keep her secret. Maybe the girls wouldn't even be as mad. Or maybe… they would be even more pissed.

"Why would my being Tuxedo Kamen make them angrier?" he asked.

She started. "That is still so weird!"

He grinned, and kept thinking of the question anyway, knowing his own curiosity was invading her skull.

"Umm… they don't trust him. He could be a spy for the enemy!"

He rolled his eyes at this. "Are they not present at battles? When have I ever worked against them?"

"You always leave," she explained shortly. She didn't ask the question, but he knew she wanted to. Why did he always leave without a word?

"I… don't know," he admitted, feeling self-conscious. "I just… it's easier to pull off the dark mysterious romantic when you don't say much and just disappear?"

She giggled. "You are such a dork!"

He frowned, bristling at the insulting label.

"So, do the senshi have any resources that might fix our dilemma?" he asked, to change the subject.

She had no idea, but it was clear who she would ask first.

"Let's go talk to Ami and Luna then. They can run whatever tests," he said, offering her a hand to help her to her feet.

"That's what I was thinking!" she exclaimed gleefully, taking his hand.

"I know," he said with his usual mocking smile.

"This is so weird!"

They walked together. Suddenly no words were needed. He already knew where they were going and how to get there as if he had been to the Hikawa Shrine dozens of times before.

"Luna's a cat right?" he asked her into the silence, still doubting his sanity a bit with regards to the feline.

"Well, she looks like a cat, but she's actually an alien from the planet, Mau."

He wasn't even phased by that bit of information. "Ah, that explains a few things."

"Mamoru-baka?"

"Yeah…"

"Why do you live alone? Where are your parents?"

His teeth clenched. He didn't bother to answer out loud, but he didn't fight the surfacing memories of the car accident or waking up in the hospital with no one and no memory, either.

It felt like retribution for the fact he had pushed her too far earlier – invaded something that wasn't his right to know until she was ready to tell him.

He didn't expect her to seize him in a hug – once again, sobbing once again into his midriff.

"Usako," he whispered, patting her back awkwardly. "It happened a long time ago."

"But it's so sad. No wonder you've always been a jerk!" she wailed into his shirt.

"Hey! I am not always a jerk!" he objected.

"Give one example!" she challenged, pulling herself upright. But her hands were still on his waist.

"How about letting you overhear that memory! Saving your life on a weekly basis? That one time I saved Luna from becoming a kitty pancake?"

"Whatever baka!"

They both fell into silence again, but it wasn't really silent at all with both their minds buzzing with uncontrolled thoughts and feelings.

He wasn't really that bad – never had been actually. She actually enjoyed crashing into him and arguing with him both. Then she blushed becomingly and jerked her eyes to him.

He smirked, feeling superior again, and perhaps a little flattered.

"Mamoru-baka, what if Ami can't fix this?"

"You're going to be spending a lot of mornings thinking about math…"

"Nooooo…. I don't wanna! We have to be able to fix this!"

He laughed. Maybe it wasn't so bad being linked. Goodness knew he'd never run out of entertainment from her never ending wailing, antics, and just overall ditziness.

The weird random thoughts and food cravings weren't so bad either now that he understood where they were coming from. She really was rather cute.

"Mamoru-bakaaaaaaaa…" she wailed, crocodile tears streaming from both of her beautiful blue eyes. "Stop being so mean!"

"Mean? I was just thinking about how cute you are!"

"But in a totally condescending way because you find me illogical and ditzy!"

He sighed. This was going to be exhausting. His thoughts definitely did not have the thick filter his tongue did.

"I didn't mean it in a condescending way. Maybe I envy those qualities in you Usako," he whispered.

She stared at him silently. "Because it's easier to make friends," she spoke his thoughts out loud as if they were her own.

He nodded. He had never really been very good at it. He had been lucky that Motoki adopted him, and even luckier that she never disowned him despite his constant cruel and teasing remarks.

She hooked her arm through his and led them forward with plans to help him make half a dozen new friends before the day was out – with all the senshi and feline advisors apparently.

He had never been more terrified in his life.

She patted his arm reassuringly, with a gentle smile. "You'll be fine baka. I'll protect you."

…

A/N: This was originally supposed to be just a one-off reveal. But it ballooned and now has a four-chapter outline, so I'm posting it as its own story! And knowing me, those four chapters might turn into six or so when we actually get there.

And I swear I haven't forgotten about my other works…
1) I am putting the finishing touches on a new Reveal that should hopefully be posted SOON! (Whatever "soon" means in this world – I don't actually know…).
2) Coming of Age's next chapter is three halves of a scene away from being posted. I'm really trying to live up to the vision I have in my head for this story! I'm really excited about it! And I've been getting reviews on this one so I'm really motivated to work on it!
3) Invisible Wounds next chapter has been completely blocked out with all major moving parts, but needs some polishing everywhere.
4) And for the whole two people reading this who care, my next chapter of Fighting Fate has also been completely outlined!