A/N: I took inspiration for this story from the story Endless Possibilities For Jaune Arc by JC of the Corn.
"Hey." A familiar voice bounced around in Yang's mind. "Wake up." The voice said. Yang began to slowly open her eyes, adjusting to the dim lights in the room she was in.
"Where am I?" She groggily asked, not recognizing the room. It was a plain room, with gray, steel walls. There were nine leather chairs in the room, facing a large screen that was mounted inside of the wall. The chairs looked like recliners, but seemed to be mounted to the ground. Most of these chairs were filled, all with people Yang knew; Team JNPR was there, as well as her father and uncle. The older gentlemen were still unconscious, but JNPR had already awoken. In front of Yang, stood her teammates, well, most of them anyway. Blake had been the one to wake her, accompanied by a confused and angry Weiss.
"I wish I knew." Blake said, responding to Yang's earlier question.
"Looks like a movie theater." Weiss said.
Yang's eyes widened as she began to frantically look around the room. She tried to get up, but found that, when her chair was reclined, she could not get up.
"Where's Ruby?" She asked her teammates.
"She wasn't here when we woke up." Blake said.
Yang pressed the button on the inside of the arm of her chair, and the seat began to sit up, putting down the foot rest.
Taiyang suddenly jolted awake on the other side of Yang, shooting up in his chair. "Daughter in distress!" He shouted.
The sudden shouting caused Qrow to jolt awake as well. And he punched Taiyang out of instinct.
Once the two teams managed to pull the men apart, Taiyang began to ask questions.
"Where the hell are we?" He asked. "Why are we here, and where is my Rose?"
The lights began to slowly dim, a voice coming from the speakers that were mounted on the walls, saying, "Please find your seats."
Having no other option, the nine reluctantly took their seats, the order being, Qrow, Taiyang, Yang, Blake, Weiss, Jaune, Pyrrha, Nora, then Ren.
Text appeared on the large screen, "I can say without a doubt that there are an infinite number of universes. Some are just like our own… but for one or two significant events, exactly the same."
"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Qrow asked, taking a sip from his flask.
"And some of these universes revolve around the people you know. Some of these universes revolve around Ruby Rose."
"We're here because of Ruby?" Taiyang asked. "I would prefer to spend time with my daughters. Not watching them."
The screen faded to black, fading in to show Jaune and Qrow sitting on a table, swinging their legs and looking bored. They were in what seemed to be a barn. It was covered wall to wall in all kinds of symbols and runes. The table they sat on was covered in all kinds of weapons.
"Woah." Taiyang simply said. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two are expecting some kind of a fight."
"No kidding." Qrow and Jaune said.
"You sure you did the ritual right?" Jaune asked.
This raised a few red flags for everyone in the room.
"Ritual?!" Weiss asked.
"Seems like a summoning ritual." Blake added. They all gave her a weird look. "They have a lot of weapons, okay! I dabbled in a lot of things, and the occult is not one of them!"
Qrow gave Jaune a look.
"I know that look." Yang chuckled.
"Sorry." Jaune said. "Touchy, touchy, huh?"
"Is it just me," Pyrrha said. "Or is Jaune's voice a lot deeper?" They all nodded in agreement.
"Sounds way deeper." Jaune said, trying and failing to imitate the growling tone of his counterpart.
As if on cue, a loud rattling shook the roof. Jaune and Qrow quickly armed themselves with shotguns and took positions on the far side of the room.
"Wishful thinking," Jaune said. "But maybe it's just the wind!"
"Maybe it is!" Jaune cheerfully said.
The shingles on the roof lifted and lowered, and the lights began to flicker and pop, sending sparks flying in every direction.
"Nope." They all said, popping the p.
The wooden door suddenly creaked and snapped open, revealing a woman in a trenchcoat. Her face could not yet be seen, as the sparks obscured it.
"I'm guessing that is whatever they were waiting on." Yang said.
The sparks cleared for half a second, showing Jaune and Qrow her face.
"Ruby?!" They all asked, shocked.
Taiyang chuckled. "You're gonna get your asses—"
A gunshot sounded off, colliding with Ruby's chest and tearing through her trench coat and suit.
Taiyang let out a girly screech, much to everyone's amusement. Everyone except for Yang, that is.
But the gunshot did nothing, she just kept walking.
"Um," Ren said. "What?" They all had varying levels of confusion, but all were very very confused.
They both unloaded into the woman's torso, but she did not go down. It didn't even slow her! Jaune now knew what she was now. The only thing he had ever seen take shots like that was a demon. She had to be a demon.
"So, Ruby's a demon?" Nora asked.
Jaune quickly pulled out the only thing he had ever seen kill a demon; a knife given to him… by a demon.
"Oh, no…" Pyrrha muttered. She didn't want Jaune to kill Ruby! But she also didn't want Ruby to kill Jaune!
But when Ruby got close enough to attack, she didn't. "Who are you?" Jaune gruffly asked.
"I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." Ruby said in a gravelly voice.
"This universe is making my throat hurt." Qrow said.
"Yeah." Jaune said, pulling the knife back. "Thanks for that." He suddenly plunged the knife into Ruby's heart.
They all gasped.
But Ruby did not fall. She seemed wholly unaffected by the stabbing, looking down at the knife, pulling it out and dropping it to the floor as Jaune stared at her with wide eyes.
"So she's not a demon?" Jaune asked, confused.
"Guess not." Yang shrugged.
"Maybe she's something more powerful." Blake added.
"What?" Qrow asked. "Like Lucifer?"
"Don't even suggest that." Taiyang sternly said.
Behind Ruby, Qrow attacked.
"Look out!" Nora shouted.
Without even looking, Ruby caught his weapon, swinging him around and touching two fingers to his forehead. Qrow crumpled to the ground.
"Damn." Qrow said. "She's a fuckin' badass."
"Qrow!" Taiyang scolded.
"What?" The drunk bird man asked. "It's true!" Taiyang nodded in agreement and stopped talking.
"We need to talk, Jaune." Ruby said. "Alone."
"She certainly has my attention." Jaune joked.
"What do you mean?" Yang asked, a threat obvious in the tone of her voice. Jaune was oblivious to this.
"Well, she just knocked a man unconscious with the touch of her hand and shrugged off four shotgun slugs." Pyrrha explained for her leader, fearing he would get himself killed with the wrong answer. Yang nodded in agreement, but narrowed her eyes at Jaune anyway. The blonde boy picked up on that threat.
Jaune was suddenly kneeling over Qrow, checking his pulse. He turned and glared at Ruby.
"Your friend's alive." She simply said.
"Who are you?" Jaune asked.
"Castiel." Ruby said.
"What?" Jaune asked. They were all very, very confused. More so than before. This was Ruby, not someone named Castiel.
"Yeah," Jaune said. "I figured that much."
"So Jaune knows her, but hasn't met her?" Weiss asked.
"I mean what are you?" Jaune asked.
"I am an angel of the Lord." Ruby/Castiel said.
This threw them all for a loop.
"Ruby's… an angel?" Jaune slowly asked, confused.
"And her name is Castiel." Nora added innocently.
"Get the hell out of here!" Jaune angrily said. "There's no such thing!"
"Apparently there is!" Yang remarked.
"This is your problem, Jaune." Ruby said. "You have no faith." Lightning flashed and on the wall behind her, the shadow of two large black wings could be seen stretching. The Lightning faded and the wings disappeared.
"That's… awesome!" Yang cried.
"Some angel you are," Jaune said. "You burned out that poor woman's eyes!"
"That's significantly less awesome!" Blake added, just to tease her partner.
"warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be…" She paused. "Overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that."
"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?" Jaune asked. There was a sudden flashback to a high pitched squealing smashing windows and ruining Jaune's hearing. Ruby nodded. "Buddy, next time, lower the volume!"
"What!" Blake shouted, unable to hear after that painful, ear bursting screech had damaged her faunas ears. Her hearing almost immediately returned, but the others laughed nonetheless.
"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong." Ruby said.
"True visage?" Qrow and Taiyang shared a look. "That's not Castiel's real body, is it?"
"And what visage are you in now?" Jaune asked. "Holy goth chick?"
"Ruby's not goth." Yang scoffed.
"Yeah," Nora said. "But she looks the part." Yang couldn't help but nod in agreement.
"This?" Ruby asked. "This is a vessel."
Had any of them been drinking anything, they would have spit it out.
"A vessel?!" Taiyang angrily asked.
"Castiel is possessing Ruby?" Blake asked, somehow sounding both alarmed and calm at the same time. "Interesting." She suddenly pulled a pair of glasses and a notepad out of nowhere, jotting down this idea for a story someday.
"You're possessing some poor bastard?" Jaune asked.
"She's a very devout woman." Castiel explained. "She actually prayed for this."
A second imaginary spit take from them all.
"Ruby asked for that?!" Yang asked.
"The plot thickens!" Blake happily exclaimed, jotting this down too. This earned her a few hostile glares from the Xiao Long Family. "What?" She asked, looking up and seeing the glares. "Alternate universe!" She gestured to the screen. "Awesome plot!" She suddenly grabbed Yang's collar. "I can't let this go to waste!" She shouted. Yang simply turned away, with a look on her face that said, 'this bitch is cray-cray'.
"Well, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?" Jaune demanded. Ruby frowned.
"I told you." She said.
"Right." Jaune paused. "And why would an angel rescue me from hell?"
And a third imaginary spit take.
"Jaune was in hell?!" They all shouted in unison. Blake screamed internally and wrote that down too. "This would make an awesome paranormal romance novel!" She accidentally said out loud. "Especially if he hooked up with the angel!" Blake only realized her mistake when Yang's fist collided with her throat. She let out a sound like she had a hairball to eject, then turned to her partner. "I deserved that." She said simply. "An angel would never have any kind of relations with a person!"
Ruby stepped forward, her face just inches from Jaune's.
"I take it back!" Blake shouted. "They fucking! Maybe not now, maybe not later! But eventually!" Yang treated her to another throat punch.
Ruby squinted her eyes and looked up at Jaune. "Good things do happen, Jaune." She said.
"Are we sure that's not Ruby as an angel and not an angel as Ruby?" Jaune asked.
"Not in my experience." Jaune gruffly said.
Their hearts broke for the on-screen Jaune. They had no idea what he had been through, but they felt for him.
"His broken heart can be mended only by an angel." Blake declared.
"Blake," Yang said, facepalming and trying her hardest not to laugh. "I swear to God…"
"What's the matter?" Ruby asked, staring into his eyes intensely. "You don't think you deserve to be saved?"
A collective gasp filled the room. They were all on the edge of their seats now.
Jaune said nothing for a few long seconds before finally speaking. "Why'd you do it?" He asked.
Blake was furiously writing this all down at breakneck speeds, and loving every second of it. They all now eagerly awaited Castiel's answer.
Ruby took a few steps back. "Because God commanded it!" She sternly said. "Because we have work for you." And in the blink of an eye, Ruby disappeared, leaving Jaune to look around and wonder where she went as the screen faded to black.
"I'm loving this already!" Blake declared. "This is awesome!"
"That was pretty cool." Taiyang admitted.
"Pipsqueak was a bit of a badass." Qrow added.
"That was cool, right, Renny?" Nora nudged her partner, who simply nodded.
"The idea of an angel having to use a person as a vessel because its true form is too much for any one person to handle is incredibly interesting, yes." Ren said.
"I thought they didn't leave enough room for the Holy Spirit!" Pyrrha added. "Five feet at all times!"
They all gave Pyrrha a look.
"I thought I was pretty cool too." Jaune meekly added, though not loud enough for his friends to hear.
"The integration of religion into a subpar soap opera is absolutely appalling in my opinion." Weiss commented, though no one cared.
"I want to see Ruby kick some demon butt!" Yang exclaimed. The screen promptly ignored her and began playing the next universe.
A/N: These are all the rage nowadays, but no one—at least no one that I've seen—has done one for just Ruby. No one's done one for anyone besides Jaune, really. I'm gonna try and do this and do it well. I usually don't write comedy, but when I have, it's usually been a reaction fic, so… I don't recommend checking my profile for those. They're not any good. Don't expect me to show up in this story either. I have two rules; no OCs and no Self Inserts. I've broken one of those rules because I needed to in order to move forward with the story I wanted to tell, but I will never break rule #2.