Because it's not worth it.
Because I'm not worth it.
But I can't blame them. I can't blame them for being so cruel. It's hard to be nice to someone who isn't worth it.
Someone who isn't worthy of their kindness.
So that's why I'm here.
On this building.
Ten stories in the sky.
Life is fatal. So that's why I'm here. Ready to die. Because honestly. It's not worth it. The Pain. The tears. Because I don't have the desire for life anymore. I don't have that spark anymore. The spark that was known as my dreams. So that's why I'm here.
Because it's not worth it.
Broadway. That's where I was meant to be. But I'm sick. But I can't sing anymore. My voice cracked. And so did my soul.
My name was supposed to go up in lights. But now I'm going to go down in sorrow.
It's funny. Almost ironic. I've always been so dramatic. I've always been so strong. But no one knows I'm here. No one can see me on the top of this building. And I'm going to jump in an alley way. So no one will see me falling to my death. No one will see me falling into hell.
So my death will be so undramatic.
I've always been so strong. But now I'm the weakest of them all.
I laugh, I laugh out loud, knowing it's the last laugh I will ever had. Glee will think I'm doing this because I'm a diva. Because I lost the Defying Gravity solo. But I can't defy gravity. Not anymore at least. So I don't deserve the solo. Kurt deserves it. Because he has that spark. That spark I lost.
That spark I won't ever be able to get back.
I've never had any friends. I've always been a loner. I eat lunch by myself. But I've always had Glee Club. How did they manage to slip away?
But, in reality, it's more like they ran away from me. It's like I'm a disease.
But Mr. Schuester, you ran away from me to. How could you? How could you leave me alone? How could you stand by and let them laugh at me? I know you don't like me. I know we haven't ever been friends. But still. How could you?
I trusted you. I let you in. You were the only person at the school who ever saw me cry. I pushed down my walls. I dropped the show face. I trusted you. You just threw it all in my face.
I trusted you.
Finn, you broke me. You destroyed me. I gave you my heart and you ripped it up into shreds. But I'm so tired of giving. I'm so tired of being the person you fall back on. The person you turn to when Quinn is too much to handle. I am sorry, I'm sorry she took your fatherhood away. You would have been so good to that little baby. You may have destroyed my heart. But you would have protected hers. So, be good to Quinn. Love her, love her like you could've never loved me.
Quinn. Why? I never bothered you. So…
Why? I helped you; I supported you in your pregnancy. You were on top. You ruled the school; I wish I could've been you. I wish I was at cheerios practice.
I wish I was there.
Instead of here.
I've been nothing but kind to you.
So…
Why?
Noah. Grape was my favorite flavor. So thank you for being at least a little considerate of my feelings.
Thank you for caring. Thank you for at least pretending to care. But, you took advantage of me. You tried to get into my pants. You tried to take my virginity. I know that's what you were really after.
But… thanks for caring.
Thanks for pretending.
I'm glad I never made it to Broadway. Because that's all acting is, pretending. I would pretend that I'm happy. I never will be happy again.
It's not worth it anymore.
Life, it isn't worth it.
So, I jump.
Just like that.
Just before I hit the ground, I have just enough time to see the rain start falling from the clouds. As if the sky had finally decided to weep with shame for what it had done to me.