Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any characters included in this story.

Hey y'all! This is my first fanfic, and I couldn't decide which couples/pairings to include! So I figured, why not write a story which includes all of them? Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and please, no flaming. Enjoy!

"Momo… I love you" said Hitsugaya, as he reduced the distance between their lips to several millimeters, waiting for his significant other to seal the deed. With a deep, deep blush, she inched her face towards her childhood friend, "Histugaya-kun… I… I…"

At that particular point in time, he snapped his eyes open, only to stare into the icy blue eyes of a certain strawberry blonde lieutenant. "Oooooooooh Taicho! So you do really like Hinamori-chan after all, don't you? " Already feeling slightly annoyed because his dream ended so abruptly, he breathed in deeply, and yelled the oh-so-familiar word…

"MATSUMOTO!!!!!"

"Whaaaaaat? Don't bother denying it! I heard you sleep talking! Here, I have even taped it!" Pulling out a tape recorder from God-knows-where, Matsumoto pressed a button, and the phrase "Momo… I love you" kept being repeated over and over again.

Desperately trying to suppress a blush from creeping up his cheeks, Hitsugaya launched himself towards the accursed machine, but Matsumoto swiftly stood up and held it above her head, just out of the white-haired-captain's reach. However, upon seeing several veins pop up in her taicho's head and his hand reaching for Hyorinmaru, the big-busted lieutenant quickly handed over the machine to him, and watched as the tape was pulled out, squished, frozen, and thrown out of the window.

"Geez… Taicho, is there really a need for such drastic measures to be taken? Nearly everybody in Sereitei… no, screw that. Nearly everybody in freaking Soul Society know that you have a crush on her!" Matsumoto cried, mourning over the loss of one-tenth of her paycheck. 'And that she also has a crush on you' Matsumoto added in her mind.

Knowing that his lieutenant was right along with the fact that his Momo was the only one who was blissfully unaware of his true feelings, Hitsugaya pondered how to steer Matsumoto away from this uncomfortable subject. As a desperate attempt, he muttered "Uhhh… The weather sure is nice today, isn't it Matsumoto?", and threw on an utmost un-Histugaya-ish smile.

"Uh-uh, no changing the subject, taicho! So, when are you going to confess to her?" the lieutenant replied. "Huh?" shocked by the idea of confessing his true feelings, the captain felt his face go hot.

After pondering for a while whether to tease her captain for the oh-so-very-cute blush or to press on, Matsumoto chose the latter. "Well you are going to, aren't you?" This question struck Hitsugaya's mind hard. "Of course I am going to! In a few weeks… months… years… decades… Maybe in a few centuries or so.", came the uncertain response.

"A century!? She would have long been taken by then! From the way Izuru looked at her in the last lieutenants' meeting, I guess he will make a move as early as next week! We, no, you can't wait that long! If you lose her, it will be all your own fault! Come, taicho, let me teach you the basics of confessing to the girl you like!" With that, the strawberry blonde lieutenant shoved her captain onto a chair, and pushed him towards the video-conference room of the 10th Division barracks.

The captain was too embedded in his own thoughts to stop his lieutenant. Images of his beloved bedwetter with the gloomy blonde, hugging, kissing, and… doing other things popped into his head, and he felt flames of jealousy burning inside him. If you lose her, it will be all your own fault! The voice of his lieutenant echoed in his head, getting louder and louder. Is he going to be a sitting duck and watch as his Momo get snatched away by some other guy? Not if I can help it. thought the captain, bitterly. At the same time, fear and anxiety also spread like a plague inside him, "What if she doesn't like me back? What if she likes Kira, or worse, still loves Aizen?" The thought of her turning him down froze his bones. Shaking his head as if trying to relieve himself of those unpleasant thoughts, the white-haired boy finally realized the change in the surroundings, and the fact that Matsumoto was busily setting up, or rather, kicking a gigantic screen in front of her.

Giving the huge screen one last kick before giving a sigh of defeat, Matsumoto screamed at the top of her voice "Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!" Moments later, the silver-haired captain flash stepped into the room, and with his signature smile, asked "What cha need me for, Rangiku?" "Giiiiiin! The stupid video player and the screen won't work!" she whined. "Have ya tried plugging it in yet?" He asked, pointing at the plugs lying on the floor. "Ooooooh thanks! You're the best." said Matsumoto, giving her slit-eyed helper a kiss on the cheek. Hitsugaya can't help but feel a bit… disturbed. Nonetheless, he still managed to collect his thoughts to the point that he remembered to ask his crazy lieutenant what she's up to, "Matsumoto… What are you doing?"

"Well, isn't it obvious, taicho? I am going to play some video clips of some very familiar people confessing their love to their significant other! All of them are male to female, in fact! So pay attention, taicho, cuz I am going to ask you questions after each clip!" the lieutenant answered, now walking to sit behind Hitsugaya with Gin, who was holding the remote control. Despite feeling quite exasperated because of his lieutenant, Hitsugaya couldn't help a spark of interest rising. Sure, he was that serious and no-nonsense adult on the outside, but on the inside, he was still a mischievous child who loved gossip. And who knows, perhaps he would really learn something from this.

Clearly excited, the lieutenant made her next move, "Ready, taicho?" Having received a nod as an answer, she yelled "Roll it, Gin!"

And so began the latest plot of the infamous lieutenant of the 10th Division, Matsumoto Rangiku.

Well, what do you think? This is just the first chapter, so there's plenty to come. Please review! Also, I would take requests for which pairings to come next, since I haven't decided yet. Just include it in your review. Good bye for now!