If there is one thing, just one thing only, that I can call my most personally guarded secret it would be the thing I am about to tell you right now. I, Hermione Granger, am head over heels in love with Harry Potter. I take pride in being the only one aware of this, having avoided all temptation to tell someone else, possibly even more so than I have for anything else before in my life. Everyone in school thinks that Ron and I will end up together and Ginny will get The-Boy-Who-Lived all to her self but if I have any say in the matter, well… God I hope not.
Ron and I… we really are just friends. Not in the too nervous to tell you how I feel so we'll take it slow kind of just friends, the really just friends type. The three of us get along great, for the most part, but Ron and I bicker almost 24/7. The thought of us together, as a couple, gives me a headache in anticipation for all those to come. Harry and I rarely fight, possibly because he and Ron get into rows to end all rows or maybe just because we rarely have anything to fight about. Honestly, I just can't picture him with Ginny, mostly because she's so volatile. Her redheaded temper gets her into trouble sometimes and you're as likely to see her crying as you are to see her trying to kill someone. Harry needs some stability in his life, his whole childhood was filled with uncertainty and while the Weasley family would be great for him, sometimes they just get too stifling. He needs an opposite; Ginny's just too competitive for him to feel like he has an area where she doesn't intrude. I'm not saying I'm perfect for him, just better than Ginny is.
They're together now, if the kiss he just gave her says anything. Then again, it could just be the atmosphere of the common room. Our celebration party is in full swing right now, celebrating an enormous victory over Slytherin without Harry, an amazing feat even I'm not sure how we accomplished. I spot it at nearly the same time as everyone else and in the stunned silence that follows I swear I can hear my heart shredding into bits. He kissed her; I repeat numbly to myself, he actually kissed her. It's not that he hasn't kissed someone before, it's just that this time it might actually turn into something more. Cho the human water faucet couldn't hold a candle to Ginny, even if she is older. And the fact that he did it so spontaneously says it's from the heart. As the wolf-whistles and cat-calls start up he looks over her head, looking for you my brain says. His eyes grow closer to the spot where I'm rooted to the floor in horror and I start smiling, really wide, trying to show him I approve and that I'm happy for him. He passes over me quickly in his quest for Ron's approval and I immediately stop smiling. The happy couple wanders out the portrait hole and I forcefully uproot myself and unobtrusively run up the stairs to my room before I make a scene of myself.
The next few weeks passed rather awkwardly since neither Ron nor I felt entirely comfortable with the new addition to the trio. After a while I got used to ignoring the fact that Ginny and Harry were dating and could act mostly normal around the pair of them.
"You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny, as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry's legs (something I promptly blocked from my mind) and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three dementor attacks in one week and all Romilda Vane can ask me it if its true that you've got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and I both hesitated before laughing in what we hoped was a convincing show of hilarity. Fortunately for us Harry didn't look too closely, ignoring us in his quest to know what she had told Romilda.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning the page as if bored by the conversation. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning the wonderful grin that I wished could be directed at me at her. "And what did you tell her Ron's got?"
"A Pigmy Puff, but I didn't say where."
I ignored Ron's scowl as I started rolling around laughing my ass off. I had to give it to her; that was funny.
"Watch it. Just because I've given my permission doesn't mean I can't withdraw it--"
"'Your permission'," scoffed Ginny. That was exactly what I thought was bad for Harry, that easy to mock mentality. "Since when did you give me permission to do anything?" I stopped listening at that point, knowing full well that Ron or even Mrs. Weasley herself could stop Harry and Ginny from going out.
"Ginny, listen…" Harry's voice carried quietly to their ears over the low buzz of the crowd. The marble tomb sat gleaming softly in the light and Harry glanced at it before continuing. "I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."
My heart soared as the words processed in my head. I looked on, trying to hide my interest in the conversation as Ginny looked at him with a small twisted smile. "It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?"
I started to praise Harry's hero-complex like I never had before. "It's been like… like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you," Harry said. "But I can't… we can't… I've got things to do alone now."
To Ginny's credit she didn't cry as he stumbled over himself to explain himself. When he finished she looked out over the still lake silently.
"I never really gave up on you," she said, so quiet that I couldn't be sure if she was talking to herself or to him. "Not really. I always hoped… Hermione told me to get on with life," my heart almost stopped then and there in fear of discovery. It was true that I had told Ginny that, I had been half hoping that if she got over him that I could make my move. The rest of her words were drowned out by the painc of my head to calm myself down.
"Smart girl, that Hermione," Harry said with a small attempt at a grin. My heart almost stopped again. When Harry walked away I was crying loudly. Not over the sadness of the situation but with happiness because I might have a chance. Ron, in a sensitive moment, hugged me to his chest and let my tears soak through his robes. Once I had recovered sufficiently we went after Harry, leaving Ginny behind us.
Now it's the three of us against the world. Three teens searching for four horcruxes against all of Voldemort's army. The futility of our mission is lost on me for once as I realize that I have hope, I have a reason to fight, I could have the man of my dreams.