He Loves You, He Loves You Not

(A/N Thank you, ChocolateIsMyDrug, for letting me use your idea! This is dedicated to Sunehri, by the way!!!)

It was lunchtime, and most of the school was in the Great Hall, eating and drinking. I say most because my best friends, Mary and Sunehri, were not there. Well, I suppose I could have sat with someone else, but I really did not want to. I was having a horrible day.

I don't think anyone ever realizes how much work there can be in seventh year. For one thing, I was taking every subject in the school, even though you only need four to qualify to be an Auror. Also, I was Head Girl of the school, and not only do I have prefect duties and head meetings, but I needed to lead the school with example, which meant I had to be top in every class.

It was barely just three weeks into school, but already I was overworked and stressed. I had so much work for Arithmancy, and then I had a head meeting in an hour. I had been counting on lunchtime to relax and catch up with my friends for a bit, but they weren't even here.

Then, suddenly, the door to the Great Hall flew open, and Mary was running down the length of the Gryffindor Table towards me, Sunehri hot on her heels. As soon as she reached me, she started babbling incoherently, trying to catch her breath. Sunehri, having come a little slower, started actually talking.

"James Potter has a girlfriend!", she exclaimed loudly.

I did a perfect imitation of a stone statue. So did the rest of the Great Hall. A great hush fell over the whole school. Even Professor McGonagall was stunned speechless, her spoon frozen halfway to her mouth.

James Potter was the school…leader, I suppose. Everyone knew of him, one way or the other. He was the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, the Head Boy, and also the 'leader' of the Marauders, a group of four boys in which his best friend Sirius Black was also included.

I know, I know, he sounds like the type who chases after a different girl every week, but that job is more Sirius Black's. James had been trying to get me, Lily Evans, to go out with him since the beginning of third year. I had always turned him down. I did not want to go out with an arrogant, obnoxious prat who just wanted to prove he could get any girl.

Although he had been much nicer since seventh year began. He was Head Boy, and I was Head Girl, so we had been thrown together a lot. I had dreaded it at first, but somehow, he had changed over the summer. Either that, or his friend Remus Lupin had given him lessons in growing up. Well, anyway, he had stopped asking me out, and we sort of became friends. At least, we called each other by first names now.

So, after having a boy chase you for about 3 years, it was a shock to find out he was dating someone else. Which explained my paralysis. My fork fell from my numb fingers, clattering against my plate, and the sound jerked me alive.

The whole hall was full of excited whispering, and some sobbing from the disappointed fangirls of the Marauders. I automatically smiled at my two friends, who were peering at me anxiously.

"Finally," I said. "He came to his senses and stopped chasing me." Yes, but why? Why had he stopped? I was just curious. "By the way," I added on, trying to seem casual, "who is he dating?" The answer to the question seemed so vital to me.

Sunehri and Mary looked at each other, and somehow seemed to decide that Mary, having known me longer, should tell me. She took her time, sitting slowly beside me before speaking.

"Lily," she started, and then stopped. I could have screamed in impatience. "It's Melody Lee. I saw them hugging each other." Mary and Sunehri were both examining my face, their faces apprehensive.

Melody Lee was the star Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She was very beautiful, I knew, with dark black Asian hair, and blue eyes, the product of a mixed marriage. I laughed once, even though I didn't see any humor in the situation. I had a headache coming, I could feel it.

"Er…Lily?", Sunehri questioned me. "Are you okay?" A flicker of annoyance rose in me when I heard her tone. I couldn't have her thinking I was depressed by such trivial news.

"Of course I'm all right", I answered her, a touch of asperity in my tone. "Well, seeing as I've finished my lunch waiting for you two, please excuse me." I brushed past them, not really knowing where I was going, only that I had to be alone for a while.

I wandered out beside the lake, my head buzzing full of thoughts. This was the place in fifth year, when James had taken off Severus's underpants in front of the school. And Severus had called me a Mudblood.

A spasm of pain crossed my face at that memory. I had thought of Severus as my friend. He was the one who had first explained about the wizarding world to me. Although he did seem a little strange at first, he had been my friend until he called me Mudblood. He had said sorry about a million times afterward, but something had broken between us that day.

I saw a tree, old and gnarled, but with beautiful little white flowers blooming all over it. I remember having climbed it once, back in first year. It had been amazing, and I had wanted to come back every day, but… I grew too busy, I suppose.

On a whim, I put my foot on a knot. It was an easy climb up, and the air was perfumed with the intoxicating aroma of the flowers. I straddled a bough and leaned against the trunk, thinking.

Why was the thought of James Potter and another girl bothering me so much? I had been hoping and praying for this since who knows how long. Even though I hadn't thought it much since seventh year started.

James was a good friend to me now, I suppose. I had gone to the first Head meeting with very low hopes, if I even had hopes, and he had turned up with pretty good ideas. He even listened in class now. Of course, his friend Sirius hadn't changed a bit. But still, James and I had started getting along a little now.

I absent-mindedly plucked a flower off the tree. He loves you, he loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not. Darn. I threw away the stem, scowling, before I realized I had just been trying to figure out whether James loved me or not.

Oh, man. I was no better than those stupid adoring fan club girls. The thought cast me into despair. Was I really that shallow? I was so stupid! It's Potter you're talking about, I tried to remind myself. I thought of those times when he had picked on Severus, or hexed someone in the corridors, of those times when he didn't listen in class, and chased me around trying to get me to say yes.

But those were the years before. Hadn't I just seen the day before how studiously he had taken notes in Professor Binns's class? And even I admitted to yawning a few times in that class! He had changed from that prat, I was sure of it.

I groaned aloud. Yes, I fancied James Potter. I admitted it. I chuckled mirthlessly at the irony of it all. Just when he stops liking me, I go and fancy him! So did he love me or not?

I picked another flower. Without a second thought, I began ripping off the petals. Darn, another He Loves You Not. I dropped the stem and started on another flower. Another He Loves You Not. I got more depressed with each flower.

I don't know how many flowers I had gotten through when I heard someone call me from below. I peered down, and saw James standing below my tree, looking up curiously. Had I ever realized how handsome he was? Focus, Lily, I reminded myself.

"Lily!" He looked surprised. "Were you here the whole time?"

"Yes", I sighed. "Why?"

James looked even more astounded. "Head meeting, remember? What's wrong, Lily?"

I gasped in shock. I had completely forgotten! "Oh, my goodness, James, I am so, so sorry, I've been…well, sort of distracted, ever since lunch, and… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I promise it will never happen again!" What was wrong with me?

He laughed gently. "It's okay, Lily, I told everyone you weren't feeling well, and as it turns out, I don't think I was much off the mark. You're as white as Nearly-Headless Nick." His eyes seemed to examine my face closely.

I couldn't really think of what to say to that. "Er…thanks."

There was a sort of uncomfortable silence after that. Almost desperately, I asked, "So how did you find me?"

James snorted. "Easy. I was wondering why so many petals were falling off this tree, when there's barely a breeze today."

"Oh," I blushed bright red. "Yeah." I realized I was still in the tree, and I scrambled to get down. I almost slipped, in my hurry to get off, but I got to the ground unscathed.

James looked at me, raising an eyebrow. I automatically smiled my robot smile.

"So…" He looked at me questioningly. Cursing myself, I pretended to look confused.

James sighed. "You're not going to tell me, are you?" I kept looking confused. Rolling his eyes, James asked, "Why are you sitting in a tree, mutilating flowers, when you should be in a Head meeting? That's more characteristic of me than you, so I know something's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," I retorted, flaring up suddenly. I wasn't going to tell him what was wrong! He didn't love me back, so what was the use of embarrassing myself? And why was everyone so intent with finding something wrong with me? "Don't start pretending to know me and analyze me, because you DON'T! You don't know me at all! Just leave me alone, James Potter!"

I strode away from him, quickening my steps as I went, because I didn't want anyone to see the tears I knew would come in a moment. Suddenly, someone caught my hand and wrenched me around. James stood in front of me, looking horrified.

"Lily… are you going to cry?", he asked me hesitantly. I hid my face in my hands, embarrassed of the tears coursing down my cheeks.

"Lily, what's wrong?" His strong brown hands caught mine and moved them away from my face, wiping away my tears with the back of his hand. His voice was just so comforting.

"I feel horrible", I hiccupped. There, that was the truth. There was no need for him to know why.

His hand cradled my forehead for a moment. "You don't seem to have a fever. Do you want to go to Madam Pomfrey?"

I shook my head, hardly aware of the question. I had just realized I was leaning on James for support, my legs were trembling so violently.

"It's just… " Time for another half-truth. "I've been so busy, with classes, and being Head Girl and all, I feel so tired!"

James sighed again. "Well, what did you expect would happen? Nobody could do all that without falling apart! You're probably the only person in Hogwarts history who is taking every subject in seventh year. What you need is some fun in your life."

I half-smiled. "I don't have time for fun, James."

Rolling his hazel eyes, he replied, "I can see."

Another pause. Looking around and spying the flower petals littering the ground, he broke the silence. "But why were you decapitating flowers? Was that your idea of fun?"

"No", I scoffed. "I was…er…well, I was playing that game. You know. The plucking game." I had never been so embarrassed. I didn't look at James, fearing that he would poke fun at me.

When I dared look up, I saw he wasn't looking very happy. He looked very angry, before he hurriedly smoothed his face. "Ah." That was all he said.

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "You're not going to make fun of me?"

It was his turn to be surprised. "No, not really. Just one thing…" He was carefully avoiding looking at me. "Who … were you doing it for?"

My face started resembling a tomato. He looked at me almost shyly, curiously. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I scuffed one toe against the ground. Finally, I barely mouthed the word, "You."

"I'm sorry, who? Couldn't catch that." He cupped one hand around his ear.

Why was he torturing me like this? "It's you, okay?" I finally blurted out. I instantly cringed. I was hopeless at keeping secrets!

But he didn't look awkward, or repulsed, like I would have imagined him to be. I mean, I had been refusing him for 3 years! But instead, he looked…amazed. Delighted.

And suddenly, he started laughing. I gaped at him, shocked. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean I didn't prefer this to walking away from me, disgusted. But when you admit the biggest secret of your life (for an hour and a half) to someone, you don't expect them to laugh.

"What's so funny?", I asked indignantly.

He instantly tried to sober up, even though it wasn't working well. "No, it's just… I was wondering who my competition was, and it turned out to be me!" He went off into delighted chuckles at the last word.

I wasn't sure I had understood correctly. "Excuse me, what was that?"

He smiled at me, and rolled his eyes again. "Lily, I've been chasing you since third year. You're supposed to be the smartest witch in Hogwarts, you should have figured out I like you!"

My eyes grew wider. What did he mean? He was going out with Melody! This was too confusing! And if he was kidding, I would kill him cheerfully, no matter who I liked. "But – but you're going out with Melody Lee!"

Now his face became confused. "No, I'm not! We're just friends! I wouldn't go out with anyone but you!"

My breath came out in a hiss. Ooh, was I going to enjoy strangling Mary and Sunehri! But right now, all I could think about was James. He jumped up, and caught one of those white flowers off the twig. Then, he started walking down towards me.

"Lily Evans, will you be my girlfriend?" He held out the flower, his face hopeful. I looked down at the flower and frowned. His expression became puzzled. "I thought you liked me?"

I sighed and shook my head impatiently. "I like you, it's the flowers I don't like!"

He looked down at the flower in his hand. "What's wrong with the flower?"

"Well, when I was plucking the petals, they always ended on he loves you not!", I complained childishly.

Slowly, a grin spread over his face. "You started with he loves you on a four-petaled flower? Of course you'd get he loves you not! Did you even try starting the other way?"

My breath came out in a huff, as I realized he was right. And then, both of us were laughing loudly and happily. When our manic fit of laughter was over, he held out the flower again.

"Maybe you should try my way now", he suggested.

I smiled, and accepted the flower. "He loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not, he loves you." I plucked off the last petal and smiled.

That's when he decided to kiss me.

(A/N Like it? Hate it? R&R! I do for every story I read! I'm not sure what exactly the flowers are, but there must be some flower matching that description! I cannot believe how long this took to write, my longest fic yet!)