I am nothing
A blank empty shell
The air feels cold around me, and there is a heavy weight on my chest that makes it hard for me to breathe
I once was told I was innocent, someone with a child like purity
Now I feel tainted, all the happiness sucked from my soul
I look like a lifeless doll, a puppet cut from its strings
A puppet without a master, a girl without a heart
Love is a very powerful emotion
But it is only powerful in how much damage it is capable of
It will mislead you into a false sense of security
It will make you feel wanted, needed
Loved
But it is all a lie, you see
Smoke and mirrors
Illusions
They say time heals all wounds
But mine are un-healable
The stab wounds to the heart are too deep
They will never heal
They cannot ever be allowed to heal
Because healing means forgetting
Letting go
And I cannot do that, don't you understand?
Every time I turn a corner, I imagine him there, waiting for me to catch up
Every time I enter a room, I see him sitting there, reading a document or writing on a piece of parchment
Every time I close my eyes, he is smiling in front of me, idyllic
He will haunt me, far past forever
Because he will not let go either
And that pains me daily
And that pains others daily
My friends watch me wither away into nothingness
With nothing but a look of pity in their eyes
My superiors attempt to console me
But it is only for the purpose of using me
I will not be used
Not again
I will not be broken
Not again
And I will never forget my past
My heartbreak
My pain
My hatred
My love
When he left my side
He took my innocence
And replaced it with the heavy burden of hate
Ever since he left my side
The warmth of my body has been forgotten
And a vacant emptiness filled my rotting outer shell
Ever since he walked away
I became nothing